Because the next album is gonna be full of them. Full of love songs about moi. Thats right, the reason I've not posted is because Orly and I are very much still in love, and as everyone knows, people who are in love dont have time for tumblr. Most of the time we are walking in parks, cutting each others hair and reading jamie oliver cook books. I'm so glad orly's took some time off from pleasing you, his fans, to spend time pleasing me, not his fan. but he is writing an album, which is annoying because all he does is sing and make himself cry with his ridiculously lame lyrics. Love songs make me sick which is why i spent two weeks in the bathroom the last time he told me he had some new songs he'd like me to hear. so embarrassing. he also asked how i would feel if he did a duet with that spunk bucket floz and needless to say i kicked him out. but he came back, as he always does, with a guitar in his arms and tears in his eyes, he came back. anyway, for those of you who care what we get up to, we also have been on holiday to sandy balls, which was nice although orls didnt enjoy is because he spent a lot of time with...well, the clues in the name. there was also an unfortunate situ with a pedalo and a dolphin. in short, orly tried to show off his thigh strength by taking out a pedalo and taking me for a ride in the sea. after all that pedalling, orls got hungry and fortunately for him i keep his favourites, cocopops cereal bars in my bag so i gave him one. well, a seagull must have caught a whiff because next thing i know orly started waving his arms around and whining like a little girl. this seagull way getting angry and really wanted a nibble on orlys pops but orly just smacked it, and threw his bar into the water by accident. he jumped in after it, crying like a baby. then a dolphin came and headbutted him. i could see he was going to drown so i had to go in after him, but he wa being dragged away by an extremely engergetic dolphin. when i got close enough to save him, i realised that the dolphin was grinding him, trying to get his shorts of with his snout. then i got angry because i realised this randy dolphin as trying to make fishy love to my boyfriend and orly is not allowed to cheat on me, especially not with a giant rapist fish. i punched the dolphin and kicked her up her dirty dolphin vagina and took orly back to our pedalo. he is such a liability sometimes, i wonder why i even bother with him. when he woke up and realised his cocopops bar had gone he started rying again and blamed me for eating it. i didnt correct him as i thought if i told him he'd just almost been raped by a fish he might be even more hysterical and i cant be bothered with that, theres enough water in the world as it is, without orlandos tears.
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