Weiner City @weiner-city - Tumblr Blog

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

rumplefuckingstiltzkin

Ebeneezer in 1742 wakes with a start as for some reason he has put out his guttering candle by slapping atop it ith the palm of his hand. His hand is burned and his nightgown and cap are spattered with hot wax.

fried-berries

heywriters

i meant to empty my contact lens case of cleaner and instead launched my allergy pills down the drain. wasn't even holding the lens case

ariconditioner

once confidently pointed my car keys at the door out of my house and pressed the unlock button

micromontage

you should've seen your face when you were absorbing and processing perspective-altering information 😂😂

cosmogenous2

i'm full of love but i also have the hater's curse and once a day i gotta say some bitchy shit or i'll explode

samglyph

As a horror guy I vehemently do not support hatred towards romance girlies. Sister genres in my opinion. We both enjoy familiar tropes. We both enjoy interesting relationship dynamics explored between two or more people. We both enjoy werewolves.

xanaxfarts

4000cc breast implants :)

this passes the bechdel test

toast-potent

i was gonna say “but they don’t have names!” but they do. the blonde’s name is dumb thotticus and the brunette’s name is m-seq

ifonlymp3-deactivated20220624

strong contender for post of the decade

spleen9000

can you imagine chuckling at none pizza with left beef and then living through the death of humanity and resurrecting a chunk of it and becoming a god figure to the new society you create and then 10,000 years later referencing it in conversation to a horribly traumatized teenager who has no possible frame of reference for this ancient meme that no one else alive has ever heard of

the-grollican

i assume this is a reference to something but choose to believe it is simply a creative exercise that tumblr user spleen9000 is inviting me to participate in. like yes. yes im imagining it

cognitohazardous

if you read books titled "A Blank of Blank and Blank" i dont want to hear your opinion ‼️

cognitohazardous

1anonyymous1

please be patient with me im from the 1900s

sirfrogsworth

Jeb Bush has finally been topped.

wienners

hes been WHAT

kushblazer666

hamletthedane

plumerii

dude your brave and loyal knight fucking bit me

#starling coded

were--ralph

This camera angle is honestly so neat its like i get it now i wish I was a little guy its like a lil park parkour adventure

But also what was the beef

dragon-made-of-cats

For all the people wondering: the initial sound the cat with camera makes was a pretty clear "hey tf are you doing in my space" and the other one doesnt even really react. Either it was a repeat offender (always strolling into the other cats territory) or the camera cat is just VERY territorial (also not unlikely)

To put it in human terms: imagine some rando walking into your living room, you yell "hey wtf?!" at him and he continues to leisurely stroll while looking at your decor. You'd also chase that guy off if your face and hands were full of convenient knives. Especially if they guy was also armed with a bunch of knives.

were--ralph

I think its territorial because the entire tiktok page is just that cat defending the neighborhood and chasing but never catching the other cats

necromancelena

Die temu ad die

necromancelena

Hmm. Accidentally looks like latin.

chef-boy-ar-girl

It accidentally is latin

cyberharpie-deactivated20150211

When someone plays a song for you that you’ve never heard before

nynaeve-almeara

Is that porn

sunfish-apologist

No it’s when someone plays a song for you that you’ve never heard before

prince-luffy

I truly hate the word "unalive." There are so many other euphemisms that fictional Italian mobsters worked so hard to provide you with and you just ignore them.