todays bird
Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Noah Kahan
The Bowery Presents
The Bright Sessions
YOU ARE THE REASON
Phantogram Three
$LAYYYTER
ojovivo
NASA
taylor price
pixel skylines
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
tannertan36
#extradirty
Origami Around
Mike Driver
titsay
hello vonnie
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@weirdshitihear
Man 1: Where you headed, to Frisco? Man 2: No, no, no, HELL NO I can't go back to frisco man.. Man 1: Why not man? Man 2: Maaaaaaaaaan, I ain't been to Frisco since last year. Went there, a n*gga came back covered in glitter lookin' like Peter Pan and sh*t. F*ck naw I ain't goin back.
Overheard convo on Bart
"Sarah Palin cougar a** only runnin for president to get f*cked in the green room."
Guy talking about politics on Bart
"Man on the phone: Steven, I'm looking at it right now. No, the D isn't big enough... *pause* I said THE D ISN'T F*CKIN BIG ENOUGH! Guy behind me: *taps my shoulder* Maybe that's a convo he should have in private. Me: LMFAO XD"
BART convo
"Boy 1: ... She bad!!! How could I forget yo momma? She used to be stripper right? When she was at tech? Boy 2: No, -_- she was a professional dancer. Stupid a** Boy 1: I mean, I don't know many ballet dancers that get a hundred $1's dropped on em bruh Boy 2: *pushes Boy 1 into the street*"
Overheard convo outside of work
"My n*gga, ever beat your d*ck to rascal flatts? Sh*t's emotional bluhd..."
Overheard quote on AC Transit bus
Sister: ".... No thanks. Last time You overdosed me, remember?" Brother: "But it made you sh*t, right?" Me: O.O
Overheard conversation at a Grocery Store
"... We was all smiling and sh*t until he f*cked me and told me I couldn't listen to Beyonce no more.. B*tch I couldn't do it"
Overheard phone conversation on BART
"Brother #1: Where you going with all that leather on lookin' like a Power Ranger and shit? Brother #2: *giggles* Boy stop you know I'm heading to work *skips towards the bart station* Brother #1 to Brother #3: Why he look that pretty tho? Don't he work at McDonalds? Brother #3 *laughing* We all know that N*gga tryna get that super sized Mc D.. Me: -__-"
Overheard conversation in Bart Station Parking lot
"No.. No, no hunny that's not creative enough.. *pause* What if you put silly putty on her nipples, what do you think would happen?"
Overheard phone conversation
Rats though?
Convo I overheard while a customer was pulling up to the check out window: Woman : "So... Should I invite him over?" Daughter: "I mean.... You do have rats Mom..." Woman: "DAMN IT KIM! I don't have rats!!! I just have more unusual friends than most people you know around the house!!" Me: O.O..... Woman: *stops car and turns to me* "oh hi!"
That one phone call
Me: "PNT How can I help you?" Man on the phone: " ...We was watching the snow games on TV then she wanna get all close and touch on a real man." Me: "PNT, how can I help you sir?" Man: Yeah dawg, then when her grand momma walked in, I knew I f*cked up" Me: "Sir....?" Man: I guess I left the dressing on the stove dawg. Me: "Yeah you messed up bruh." Man: "wait.. Hello?" Me: "PNT how can I help you?"
Y'all got dicks over here?
Man drives onto my job's parking lot. Me: "Good morning! How are you sir?" Him: "I'M LOOKING FOR DICKS!" Me: O_O "........ I'm sorry?..." Him: "They said y'all got dicks over here." Me *raises eyebrows, smiles and laughs a little* "I'm sorry sir. You're saying that someone said 'We have dicks?'" Lol Him: "Dick's Carpets?" Me: Dick's carpets.. Right. -____-
"...So What, Don't hate because I'm a Viking alright?!! I'm just drunk..... and I just wanna go home and cuddle my..... Hey!!! who's got Marijuana? I want that good good. Who's got it man??.... Someone in here has it I know it........ Hey....... HEY!! Look, I'm wearing regular underwear RIGHT NOW!!"
Drunk man on BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit)
The Struggle is Real
*My phone rings* - "Hello?" Man *yelling loudly* - " MAY I SPEAK TO WING STOP?!" Me - "Um.. I'm sorry sir, you have the wrong number. Man - "............ THIS AINT WING STOP?!!" Me - "No sir, you have the wrong number." Man - "................... Do you got they number then?"
Customer Service at its Finest
*Cashier is ringing me out, his phone begins to ring and he picks up*
Cashier - "Hello?....... What's good for tonight thooooooooo?!" Female employee: - "Uh...? You just gunna answer your phone? Boy you crazy." Casheir: - "*Starts Laughing* I'm trying to get fired in this b*tch! F*ck this damn job.
*looks at me* Anything else?"
Me: -__-
"......I don't want you text me, tweet me, instagram me, Facebook me, kik me, Skype me, fax me, email or write me a letter. We done n*gga. I don't have time for your childish ass. Don't be showing up at my house either you always on that dumb shit................. You know who this is call me back."
Overheard conversation at the BART station (Bay Area Rapid Transit)