yummy

if you can’t reach my neck I don’t fear you

[welby72]

Hey I need to come up with ideas for a game I’m making and I kinda need help.

I need to come up with battles from literature and mythology like Beowulf vs Grendel or Ahab vs Moby Dick or stuff like that, any other ideas?

[welby72]

id like to be a caterpillar sometimes, and I think it’s a nice thought to have once in a while

[welby72]

bzz

[welby72]

Lately I’ve been thinking abt posting something cuz I was feeling like it, but I kinda didn’t cuz I thought it was weird to post after months of not using tumblr.

Then my mind came to the conclusion that it was a stupid thought and I can kinda do anything I feel like doing :D

[welby72]

Tumblr folks, answer me: how do I make my dog stop peeing on my bed? Cuz it’s the second time he does it today and i prefer my sleeping zone piss free

[badjokesbyjeff]

A man walks into a bar and sits next to a hitman who charges $10,000 a bullet

The man says “Aren’t you the guy who charges 10k a bullet?” The hitman replies “Yeah, thats me.” The man says “I have a job for you. I got 20k spare, and I found out my wife was cheating on me with my best friend. I want you to shoot my wife in the head, and my friend in the penis.” The hitman accepts the offer, and the man gives him the name of the hotel they are staying at.

They both arrive at the hotel, and climb to the roof of a building next to it. The hitman aims at the window of the wife’s hotel room. The man says to the hitman “Why are you taking so long? Go ahead and take the shot!” The hitman says, “Be patient. I’m trying to save you $10,000.”

[welby72]

Oh this one made me laugh

[welby72]

Today I was watching TV with my family while we had lunch and a car ad pops up and it goes like “hey, do you know how much your car is worth?” and my brother just splurts out “THREE” and I almost choked

[itchycoil]

You’re a random nobody

Me to a newborn baby

[welby72]

Best answer I’ve ever seen

[d1ecast]

[hobo-man69]

This makes me really uncomfortable

[welby72]

This makes me really comfortable

[purplespaceace]

do y’all other neurodivergents‘ brains just reset randomly? Like I’ll be in the middle of a sentence and my brain is suddenly a clear slate and then I have to try to remember my train of thought

[welby72]

im only gonna say this once, so hear me clear:

YUP

[4yuel]

No thoughts, just this

[welby72]

potato

[welby72]

I thank whoever being is up there for creating me at the same time Forrest Gump is on Netflix, cuz it’s the best film I’ve ever watched and I’ll fight anyone for it (jk, everyone’s entitled to their opinion and there’s no wrong view on these kind of things, it’s just something you kinda have to respect and as well as my favourite movie is this one, someone else’s could be Shrek or American Pie or stuff like that)

[thoodleoo]

and people say the classics aren’t relatable

[certifiedsoupposts]

certified soup post

[welby72]

The only thing I want in this life is to learn more about “certified soup posts”

[funnytwittertweets]

[hobo-man69]

But it also gives us werewolves

[welby72]

I don’t see the problem

[teenagerposts]

[fluxite]

exACTLY??

[welby72]

I’ve never in my life related more to something

[welby72]

For anyone who doesn’t know, Chupacabra’s literal translation from Spanish is “Suck goat”

[wolfsnape]

Me as a child: *hums and sings all the time as a vocal stim and loves talking about everything because I find everything fascinating*

My parents: Don't you ever shut up??? We don't care about that topic. Stop singing it's super annoying for everyone

My parents now: You never share anything with us and are always silent, never singing or talking loud enough. Don't you care about anythin???

Me:

[welby72]

this angers me