Bitchdom

random (usually crack) fanfic ideas I come up with but am not crazy enought to write

[petricorah]

pr training [id in alt]

[gilgameshhimself]

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

[higglety]

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

[day-dreamersclub]

i pray that aug, sep, oct, nov and dec are all months full of growth, blessings, productivity, new doors open and opportunities

[kosmogrl]

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

[sicknastyjr]

Your 20s are not about getting your life together they're about learning to escape the self imposed torture labyrinth you've built inside your own head

[caringloving-deactivated2025081]

hey u missed ur shift on tumblr.com why aren’t u reblogging

[willgrahamscock]

if you see me liking contradicting headcanons for the same character just know it's because I do not give a fuck and I have an active imagination #hewouldsaythat

[willgrahamscock]

sometimes it’s not about ‘would he say that or do that’ it’s more like that would be hilarious if he did because I have a jester’s heart

[tenderhooked]

I WANT TO WRITE MY STORIES!!!!!!!!!!!! -> continues doing literally Anything Else besides writing

[prisonhannibal]

a nervous breakdown? I’m actually very confident in my breakdowns. I’m experienced.

[biggass-pancake]

no no, i get it. i can see why you're confused- I want the CANON to be completely platonic, fucked-up exploration of intimacy that transcends human sexuality but never includes human sexuality.

I want to be the pervert that makes them fuck.

[mikkeneko]

#had to be me#canon might have gotten it wrong

[whatagrump]

Apparently a lot of people get dialogue punctuation wrong despite having an otherwise solid grasp of grammar, possibly because they’re used to writing essays rather than prose. I don’t wanna be the asshole who complains about writing errors and then doesn’t offer to help, so here are the basics summarized as simply as I could manage on my phone (“dialogue tag” just refers to phrases like “he said,” “she whispered,” “they asked”):

“For most dialogue, use a comma after the sentence and don’t capitalize the next word after the quotation mark,” she said.

“But what if you’re using a question mark rather than a period?” they asked.

“When using a dialogue tag, you never capitalize the word after the quotation mark unless it’s a proper noun!” she snapped.

“When breaking up a single sentence with a dialogue tag,” she said, “use commas.”

“This is a single sentence,” she said. “Now, this is a second stand-alone sentence, so there’s no comma after ‘she said.’”

“There’s no dialogue tag after this sentence, so end it with a period rather than a comma.” She frowned, suddenly concerned that the entire post was as unasked for as it was sanctimonious.

[thewritinggrindstone]

And!

“If you’re breaking dialogue up with an action tag”—she waves her hands back and forth—”the dashes go outside the quotation marks.”

[consumptive-sphinx]

Concept: the Silmarillion, in the style of Lemony Snicket

[consumptive-sphinx]

“Stealing, of course, is a crime, and a very impolite thing to do. But like most impolite things, it is excusable under certain circumstances. Stealing is not excusable if, for instance, you are in a workshop and you decide that the Silmarils would look better in your crown, and you simply grab the Silmarils and take them there. But if you were very, very hungry, and you had no way of obtaining money, it would be excusable to grab the Silmarils, take them to your fortress, and eat them.”

[consumptive-sphinx]

“Finrod was an Arafinwean, a word which here means ‘lithe blonde twink who, for some reason, everybody in the entire world except for Celegorm seems to underestimate.’

Curufin was smitten, a word which here means ‘not Celegorm.’”

[consumptive-sphinx]

“Now, “in the dark” is a term meaning that one is not aware of something that is going on, and has very little to do with physical light, or the lack of such a thing. If it is a bright sunny day and you are sitting in a park and you have no idea that buried beneath your picnic spot is a treasure chest then you are in the dark not in the dark, and if it is the dead of night and you are traipsing through the woods and you are entirely aware that you are being followed by a troupe of ballerinas then you are not in the dark in the dark, and if you are sitting at your kitchen table working and you are so intent on your work that you do not even realize night has fallen then you are in the dark about being in the dark in the dark, until you look up and find yourself no longer in the dark about being in the dark in the dark. And immediately after Melkor extinguished the Trees, all of Valinor found itself very comprehensively in the dark.“

[consumptive-sphinx]

“Fingolfin was an optimist, a word which here means ‘attempting to make amends with his half-brother who has just threatened him with a sword.’

Fingolfin was an optimist, a word which here means ‘willing to trust his half-brother to bring him across an ocean in the boats they have just stolen together.’

Fingolfin was an optimist, a word which here means ‘about to cross an ice bridge, having previously turned back because such a thing was clearly impossible.’

Fingolfin was an optimist, a word which here means ‘about to charge an evil god and stab him with a sword.’

Fingolfin was an optimist, a word which here means ‘dead.’”

[consumptive-sphinx]

“If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats, or, in Finrod’s case, werewolves.”

[burnbrighterthanever]

Hey, don’t leave gems like these in the tags!

[lishallii]

This whole Sharingan marriage thing, but in the AU where it is... official? Like... Fugaku just formalized their marriage backdated and gave Kakashi a copy of the document. Kakashi doesn't pay much attention to this(just spends a few weeks without sleep at night thinking about what meaning Obito put into giving him eye, he's fine) because a) it's just bureaucracy, b) even if it weren't so he's a widower, so he gets into a relationships and all that crap. And then Obito, after many years, turns out to be alive. Kakashi first thoughts are like:

"Oh, shit, I'm a cheater now"

or, maybe, he takes out this paper in the middle of a war... Idk, choose what's funnier for you.

Meanwhile, Obito is completely confused. The clan didn't like him and no one cared to explaine their traditions and customs to him, yk

[cloudyyink]

Crosspost 🏃🏻

[welcometothelairofthebitchking]

Good day for people who ship Kakashi with any of the Uchihas

[ice-cream-genjutsu]

id like to congratulate obito and kakashi for being insane about each other in a way that is usually only reserved for the eternally inextricably intertwined gods. but no these guys managed it all by themselves without leaning on magic reincarnation nepotism. this is why their toxic murder + delusion situationship truly exemplifies the show's theme of hard work overcoming natural talent

[welcometothelairofthebitchking]

This is my absolute favorite post in the world. Your mind OP

[macaron0verlord]

Through your eye (literally)

a quick brush experiment :D

[anershu]

and none of them are wrong Happy pride month!