Well, we think we're funny...

What happens when a handful of awkward as hell girls meet in college, *drink like fish, **party too hard, and record their statements? Well, just you read on, stranger. *This is a blatant lie. Good or bad, every statement we post is made stone-cold sober. **Also a lie unless tumbling all day and ignoring our school responsibilities count.

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Libby: You know, her words say she's not a lesbian, but those pants....

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I'm not lazy, I'm just unskilled!

Libby

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Bridgett: That'd be like if I got a hat and put a star on it.

Libby:...What?

Bridgett: Because Minnesota is shaped like a hat.

Libby:...What?

Bridgett: Didn't you ever learn that in school? Minnesota is the hat on a chef.

Libby: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Bridgett: Because the states form a man, like Louisiana is the boot, and we're the hat?

Libby: What the fuck school did you--oh, that's right, you're from the North.

Bridgett: Go get a map! [pulls up a map] See! Minnesota is the hat, and there's his face and his stomach sticking out and the boot.

Libby: What the--

Sarah: Yeah, I don't--oh, I see. It's a profile.

Bridgett: Yes! It's not like he's cooking.

Libby: 'Cause that'd be ridiculous.

Bridgett: I'm just trying to teach you what I learned in my hobo town.

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Libby: You're not fluent in pirate?

Sarah: No, I have trouble with the "r"s.

Libby: Oh, that's all kinds of pathetic.

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Smell your hands. It smells like pot and candy!

Libby

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Opium and warm milk? No, I'm gonna sleep normal.

Sarah

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Oh, we know they're going to heaven...unless God hates gospel singers as much as the rest of us.

Libby

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Libby: Did we just make God a monkey?

Sarah: Take that evolution!

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He got de-jacked!

?

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Libby: They were attacking you because they wanted you for some reason.

Bridgett: Yeah, I get that a lot.

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Libby: Is there a difference between a whore and a skank?

Kristina: It depends if there's a furry creature involved.

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Libby: Why are you making whores?

Kristina: Because it's my only talent!

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Libby: I feel heavy.

Sarah:

Sarah:

Sarah: You have a gummy on your blanket

Libby: I know I got full

Sarah:

Libby:

Sarah:

Libby:

Libby: I feel weird

Libby: Do you think they laced my Midol with something?

Libby: My blood feels like it's at a rave.

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Libby: I drank after him. Twice.

Bridgett: Wow. It's like you kissed him and he didn't kiss you back. Twice.

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Jareth: Fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave.

Bridgett: Sounds like Catholic wedding vows to me.

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Sarah: I feel like the default setting for a genre [of fanfiction] should be romance. I mean, what else is there?

Libby: Right?! I guess...humor?

Sarah: Yeah, if someone recs a good humor fic I'll read it, but then I'm like, why was this written in the first place?

[wellwethinkwerefunny]

Libby: Fucking...they get two weeks between end of classes and finals week!

Sarah: What?! I could totally use two weeks to "study"!