I get really disappointed when I went to check a ship tag and discover not only that it’s a rare pair (I can handle that I am a big person), but that the major number of the few fics available on the tag are some variation of a threesome.
No I am not going to demonize poly ships nor I am some sort of prude (I don't really care about smut because I prefer plot over it not because of any other jerk reasons). My complay is that, in this specific scenario (Unless is a very specific ship with a already established poly tag) this mean (in my experience) that the ship I'm searching content is viewed as a side ship (a less important pairing) rather than a true pairing ship. Which is sad for the little old me, worst of all this also implies that there aren't many active authors writing for that ship as a true pairing, so the fandom is basically a ghost town where I have to hunt around in the dark for any sign of life.
This forces me to do what any reasonable person should do insted of simple complaining about it, which is create my own content. So yeah, I am writting for this ship, like a madman on cocaine, because I am crazy and starving for a very specific sandwich not a lasagna so I am cooking my own food. Would I like to go to a restaurant every once in a while? Sure, but I can't force people to cook for me (when by chance I am surprised with a unexpected nice meal I become beyond myself. I praise the hell out of the author, kudos, bookmark, everything they deserve and more!), so I just continue with my life, and try my best to feed myself.
But like, on the good side since I am in this one-sided rivalry (because it is just in my head I am not attacking anyone nor there are people trying to get to me. They don't even know I exist so), every time I update the ship tag and see a threesome/orgy tag (read this as just straight porn, but like again I am not a prude I am just indifferent about reading smut!), this is the good fuel to make me write more. So in sort of one-sided competitive way, they are motivating me, so like... thank you for your service? I don't know what to say, I am just recounting the facts, and this post actually stopped making sense... or not, I am sleep deprived and just rambling during a class I am not paying enough attention to so forgive me for any inconsistencies in my speech.
I think the lesson here (if there is one) is like, write what you want to read. Good, bad, crack, slice of life, fluff, angst, smut, write anyway. There will be a little gremlin like me that is totally into it. But like even if the gremlin is yourself just do what you want, I am not the boss of you.
Disclaimer: To be clear I have nothing against poly ships. Do I read them? No. But not because I am against poly people, it is just because I have a very specific ship dinamic and none of the poly ships I have come across happened to fit that dinamic (I have to ship all the members, together, they have to be connected to one another for me to be able to ship them, otherwise, my brain is just like: no, but thanks?). If I only like a duo I will only consume content of that due. That simple. There have been times when I’ve shipped a single character with multiple other people (which is rare may I add), but that was because each of the indivisible duo fit into my shipping dynamic, but they lost it if the moment they become a throuple (in my brain, I am talking about me, and me alone! Do not decontextualize my words!).
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