where did we go wrong?

wes maddox | accountant

[burningbridgeswrites]

wes-maddox​:

He noticed her smile falter and there was instant regret at mentioning the man. He knew there shouldn’t have been. That the mention of their significant others shouldn’t have been much different than it would be to anyone else, but truthfully, he didn’t want her to see him texting Allison either. But her admission of being here for him hadn’t left his mind since it left her lips. And again, tomorrow he knew it would b different, but tonight he wanted to live in the feeling of being wanted by her. “Ah, makes sense. If this is about knowing your body, there’s no one better for the job. Another thing he’ll be thrilled to hear,” he gave her a cheeky smile when the words should have felt wrong. “I’ll start brewing my own coffee if I have to,” he shrugged, chuckling a little as he looked over at her. “I would say no, but I’m sure if you came to see if you’d have plenty of changes in mind,” he shook his head with a laugh. “You’d think this damn town could move on,” he huffed, knowing full well they hadn’t. Even before her return he’d heard the occasional comment.

She shouldn’t have liked his comment as much as she did, but it was the first flirtation from his end, and it made her feel like a kid with the butterflies in her stomach. Laughter freely spilled from her lips and she shook her head, cheeks carrying a short lived blush. “I was thinking of putting it a little more delicately than that.” Dakota should have scolded herself for wondering if he ever thought about her body anymore. If he missed being with her like that. So many times she should have been ashamed of thinking of him when in bed with Tom.  Dakota raised her brow at his threat. “That desperate to not be associated with my coffee order? Guess we’ll just have to stick to bars,” she reasoned. “You make that sound like a bad thing. Think of it more as improvements than change,” she laughed, looking over at him as she took another drink. “Just please tell me you finally kicked that terrible chair to the curb.”  She tucked back her hair, eyes glancing toward the sidewalk, “Happens when you have a bomb go off in a small town. It lasts until the next big one comes. If it does. I can’t say I really blame them.”

[wes-maddox]

Wes’ eyes were fully on Dakota, not really wanting to pull them away. It was like he’d committed to forgetting all the negatives surrounding them for a night and he was happy to just take in her laughter and that little hue change in her cheeks the way used to. “Word it however you like, we both know the truth,” he gave her a nod, the smirk rising up the corner of his mouth. Not normally cocky by any means, Dakota had instilled a confidence in him that he wasn’t sure anyone else could have. There was a confidence that came in just being with a woman as beautiful as her, but it was much deeper than that. “And risk being seen with someone who orders those fruity martinis? I think not,” he teased, shaking his head. But in truth he wondered if they would be in coffee shops together, in bars, hanging out at all. It seemed like that was up to him; Dakota clearly seeking him out here. It seemed obvious to him it wasn’t a good idea, but it was hard to deny he missed this. “I’m thinking of it as insulting,” he cocked a brow and shook his head with a chuckle, taking a sip. “Emily spilled a bowl of cereal on it and I couldn’t get the milk completely out, so I had to part ways,” he feigned disappointment. “I can. If they want to be angry at your father still, that’s their prerogative. None of it ever should have been directed at you.”

[wes-maddox]

burningbridgeswrites​:

The mention of Tom made her smile falter just slightly. The fact was that the moment she saw Wes, the thought of the other man never crossed her mind. She knew that in a matter of time that would change. That he would be moving in with her once a job opportunity opened up, and at times it made her feel guilty when her reason for moving back was right next to her. “He’ll just have to understand. You’ve known me longer so you carry all the facts which makes your opinion weigh heavier,” she went on with it like talking about Tom to Wes wasn’t wrong feeling. “It’s a small town. Your plan won’t work forever.” She could only hope that this night would be a turn for the better. That he wouldn’t go back to wanting to avoid her. “Oh I am determined. Which reminds me if you are looking for some interior changes I can give you my card,” she teased. “Um, no. Not as bad. My neighbors have only moved in, in the past couple years so it’s more the usual spots,” Dakota shrugged, taking a sip.

He noticed her smile falter and there was instant regret at mentioning the man. He knew there shouldn’t have been. That the mention of their significant others shouldn’t have been much different than it would be to anyone else, but truthfully, he didn’t want her to see him texting Allison either. But her admission of being here for him hadn’t left his mind since it left her lips. And again, tomorrow he knew it would b different, but tonight he wanted to live in the feeling of being wanted by her. “Ah, makes sense. If this is about knowing your body, there’s no one better for the job. Another thing he’ll be thrilled to hear,” he gave her a cheeky smile when the words should have felt wrong. “I’ll start brewing my own coffee if I have to,” he shrugged, chuckling a little as he looked over at her. “I would say no, but I’m sure if you came to see if you’d have plenty of changes in mind,” he shook his head with a laugh. “You’d think this damn town could move on,” he huffed, knowing full well they hadn’t. Even before her return he’d heard the occasional comment.

[wes-maddox]

burningbridgeswrites​:

“We were together for so long it just didn’t feel right to stop until I got your say on the matter.” She wondered if just the slightest mention of them pained him the way it did her, even though her smile was genuine. “Not gonna happen, Maddox. And next time you offer to buy me my coffee I’m only going to order it louder. Let everyone know you hangout with a latte macchiato drinker.” Her shoulder nudged him and she wondered if she should taper it back. Not always go for what was instinctual. He was offering an olive branch with this and it was better not to snatch it up and make him second guess. It was just so hard when she had never had to hide her feelings. Between the pair she was the vocal one. Her friends in the city sick of hearing about him. Her talking to them about when they’d be together again. “Yeah, it’s not bad. Finally settling in at work though it’s going to take some time to get some of my own clients. Everyone at the office is real nice though. Happens when you work a town over.”

“I’m sure your boyfriend will be happy to hear you’re still running those decisions by me,” he nodded with a small smile. Maybe the mention of her boyfriend should have been a reminder he was there. And he was committed to. And so all of this needed to be friendly. But it really didn’t feel that way when the words came out. “Who says there will be a next time? I’m certainly avoiding coffee shops with you from now on,” he shook his had, his smile growing a touch at her nudge. It was a bit scary to him how easy it was to have that feeling back with her. For now he attributed it to just wanting something comfortable after a tough day, knowing a fight was waiting for him once he left Dakota. “I’m sure you’ll have some in no time if I know you,” he nodded. “How have things been around this town? Not as bad as when you left, I’d hope?”

[wes-maddox]

burningbridgeswrites​:

“Thank God you say that. I can finally stop shaving it,” she played along. “I do it because it is absolutely delicious and I will not let your judgment change that,” she gave a nod. Just as things were feeling somewhat easy their drinks came. Dakota cursed to herself that it happened so fast. Yes, just a minute ago that was exactly what she had wanted but now it was different. He was laughing with her. His laughter a sound she had longed to hear. Little videos captured on her phone that she had played on her worst nights He could be mad at her the next minute but it was a minute that she needed. So when his offer came she couldn’t help but look over at him with some surprise. She almost felt the urge to ask him why when he said he had to get home just a bit ago, but she was smart enough to bite her tongue. “Yeah, I’d like that,” she nodded before moving towards the door with him.

“Have you still been maintaining your chest on my accord?” He asked with a questioning raise of his brow. “All I want is for you to feel an ounce of shame every time you order it,” he teased. He’d fought this off so hard. This natural chemistry between them, a chemistry that at the tail end of their relationship he’d convinced himself wasn’t there anymore. But there they were and it was as evident as ever. Maybe tomorrow he’d feel differently, but right then he just wanted to feel how good it felt to be with her.. even if that was just as a friend. He slipped his phone out to text Allison that he’d be a bit later, vague on his reasons for now. He held the door for her once the phone was away, shuffling out after her to find his step with her. “So-- has your day been better than mine?”

[wes-maddox]

burningbridgeswrites​:

She wished that his sorry wasn’t so disarming. That she could hold onto every ounce of frustration that he caused and hold it against him. Maybe if she was as angry as he was it would reel him in more. But Dakota couldn’t even be angry enough to hold her heartbreak against him, how could she stand a chance with this? Especially with the way that he was looking at her. It was the kindest he had been since her return. “It’s okay,” she replied quietly. The upset feeling she felt now wasn’t from this interaction as much as her getting hit once again with missing him. It happened so often. “What am I supposed to drink? Black coffee and grow some hair on my chest?” She laughed lightly. “Why can’t you just admit that you think it’s yummy? I highly doubt all those sips were taste tests to make sure my drink wasn’t poisoned.”

Wes wasn’t sure that his apology would do much in the moment. Dakota’s frustration with him seemed to be mounting and it was hard for him to blame her for it. So it was a nice surprise when her demeanor seemed to change, when she seemed to let whatever hurt he’d caused roll off for the moment. And he’d probably regret fully falling into step with her. Regret it for the same reasons he found it so easy to aim his aggravations at her; he found it hard to want to do anything to end this little bit of peace they’d found in the moment. “Exactly, yeah. You’d look good with a little hair on that chest,” he chuckled. “It is tasty for like a sip or two! But a whole cup of that? I don’t know how you do it.” Just like that their drinks were in front of them. Wes taking his and pausing for a moment. “Would you-- you can say no, but would you want to maybe take a walk?” It was curious even to him how quickly his position flipped.

[wes-maddox]

burningbridgeswrites​:

“Yeah well, usually when someone tells you that you have a part of making their shitty night worse that happens.” She mumbled off before they had separated. For how often she wanted to be with him, it seemed for the best for her to get her drink and dive out of there. Her eyes only glanced over as he joined her, looking at the baristas. “I get it. I’m an easy target for it,” she shrugged the words not humorous just honest. Having him close brought on a wave of emotions that Dakota couldn’t brace herself for. The subtle scent of his cologne hitting her nose. He hadn’t changed it and somehow that was comforting and painful at the same time. “It’s been a decade of me getting the same drink. Think it’s time you move past it.” The smallest of smiles came as she looked at him.

Her words only made him feel worse and he knew he should have. It wasn’t fair the way he was acting and maybe in their past interactions he could excuse it for having his reasons, but tonight there was no excuse. He opened his mouth to disagree, but stopped himself and paused. She was right. She was. It was easy for him to try and just excuse how he acted toward her as him just being hurt and angry over their past, but tonight had nothing to do with their past. And maybe he was even blaming her for his issues in his relationship, again, it wasn’t fair. “I guess so,” he nodded. “I’m sorry,” the words repeated and he looked at her with sincerity. “It’s time you grow up and drink adult drinks,” he countered with a raise of his brow, his own subtle smile coming out. Perhaps the first sincere one since she’d been back.

[wes-maddox]

burningbridgeswrites​:

“You’ll excuse me if I don’t believe you,” she shot him a fake smile. She didn’t know how he could say that when he made his feelings perfectly clear back at her house. Dakota knew that maybe she had pushed too much too soon, but if she hadn’t she knew that he would have just kept communication to the bare minimum. “There doesn’t have to be tension. That is all on your side.” And while she had some buried anger, wanting to be near him again was stronger than any feeling. She wasn’t sure how to take his apology and luckily it was his turn so she didn’t have to. In truth, she didn’t want to let him buy it. Not after the way he had been treating her like a cup of coffee would square them away. Yet, causing a scene was the last thing she wanted to do and if she could avoid one argument than she would take it. “Latte macchiato with extra cream. Thanks,” she said half-heartedly to Wes, stepping over to the pick up counter, not waiting for him.

Wes didn’t know how this had happened so quickly. How one moment he was the one shooting jabs at her and the next it was reversed. But perhaps much like she’d felt when the roles were reversed, he felt a need to fix it. At least relatively speaking. “Dakota,” he didn’t have much else to say, just looked at her with twisted lips. “You seem pretty tense to me right now,” he wet his lips. He nodded at her thanks, turning to the cashier to pay for their drinks, meeting Dakota over at the pick up area. “I didn’t mean to take my frustrations out on you,” he spoke quietly, causing him to stand nearer to her. He didn’t need to broadcast their disagreement more. “And I’m certainly not repulsed by you. Just your coffee order.”

[wes-maddox]

burningbridgeswrites​:

“Guess I’m getting less and less desperate to be around the company of someone who is repulsed by me.” Of course she wanted to be around him. To talk to him, and while she showed frustration what she really felt when seeing him act like this was hurt. He had broken up with her and yet he treated her like she had broken his heart. “So you are telling me that you just happen to be in a shit mood every time you see me? That may be surprising to hear me say, it feels a little personal,” she brought her bag to her shoulder, crossing her arms. “I was here first, Wes. Not like I planned to ruin your day.”

The words filled Wes with some guilt. For whatever resentment he had toward her, for however aggravated he was about the way she had tried to just buddy up to him on her return, he still cared for her. “It’s not like that,” he said softly. Maybe it was just that it hurt seeing her. Maybe that’s what brought out all of his frustrations with her. “I was in a shit mood before I saw you, Dakota. And it’s not seeing you, it’s just-- it’s just this tension making it worse,” he explained, knowing full well he’d created that tension. “I know. Sorry,” he muttered out the words. If anything he needed to get to a point where he could at least fake being unfazed by her presence. Or maybe the apology was born from just not wanting another fight. He stepped forward and ordered his coffee. “Let me grab yours,” he motioned for her to step up.

[wes-maddox]

burningbridgeswrites​:

Her brow pulled together in confusion as to why he would even bring that up. “As fun as that was last time I was thinking of skipping your invite so you don’t have to worry about saying no.” She hadn’t wanted to start anything with him, feeling like they could both use a cooling off period before any attempt to repair anything. “No, really, just go. That way you will have the least amount of time with me as possible since you can leave first.” Dakota didn’t wait and moved behind him. “I would just like to know how long we are going to be doing this?”

“Didn’t think you could hold off on inviting me to anything nowadays,” Wes shrugged. Another sigh escaped him when she took it on herself to move behind him, but rather than making anything of it, he stepped forward, not bothering to respond to the words. “Doing what, Dakota?” He played dumb initially and just sucked in a breath. “I’m in a shit mood, alright. This just wasn’t what I needed right now,” he explained away, trying to extend some kind of olive branch in saying he wouldn’t be like this in the future, but perhaps the words came out as hardly that. That the sight of her sent him spiraling into a worse mood.

[wes-maddox]

burningbridgeswrites​:

She wasn’t expecting him to answer. She wasn’t expecting a lot from him nowadays. Dakota was never expecting being back to be easy. Not with him or the town. Yet, she never thought he would be this hard to reach. The mere presence of her seeming to just anger him. “I don’t think the two steps is going to stop you from getting home any sooner, but here,” she stepped aside. “Go ahead of me.”

Wes found himself running a hand through his hair with a sigh escaping him, shaking his head. “No, the few steps won’t, but the last time we had the fortune of running into one another and chit-chatting like this I wound up back at your place and I don’t have time for that.” The words seemed to come from a place of wanting to bring that up and he didn’t know why or where that was coming from. “No, just move up, Dakota.”

[wes-maddox]

burningbridgeswrites​:

She wasn’t far from the entrance that she caught the last bit of whatever conversation he was having. His voice was distinct for Dakota, and even then it was clear by his appearance that he was upset. After their last interaction, she was sure that she didn’t help whatever mood he was in. “Hey. Everything alright?” She knew she probably shouldn’t ask, but she couldn’t help but be concerned.

They’d been fighting more and Wes wondered if that had to do with Dakota in town. Not even from his girlfriend’s end, but from his. Her being there threw him off, and while he tried to ignore that, it was becoming evident he wasn’t able to. “It’s fine, yeah,” Wes was short in his answer. “Just trying to get out of here and home, so if you could move up,” he motioned to the line moving ahead of her.

[wes-maddox]

@burningbridgeswrites​

“I just want one damn weekend without your friends,” Wes let out in frustration into his phone as he entered the coffee shop. “Can we just talk about this later?” He finished the call, looking up only to see Dakota, causing just more frustration, though he tried to hide it. “Hey,” the greeting was simple and the smile was fake.

[wes-maddox]

burningbridges-writes‌:

Her brow furrowed in a pained expression. “How?” Dakota asked desperately. “What did I do that changed the way you looked at me?” The tears made her sinuses ache as she held on to them. Yes, the situation had felt different but never did the love she had for him waiver through any of it. “What?” She asked a bit exasperated as her head went through a whirlwind of thoughts to even begin to understand what he was implying. “No, of course not! Why would you say that?” Yes, she had moved on to Henry but he had been a distraction from the pain that turned into more. “I didn’t buy it to be with him. I bought for me. I told him I needed time here because I do. I needed time for us.” It all made sense in her head and when she went through with it, but now explaining it out loud she sounded like a woman obsessed. And maybe she was. Her mind was fixated on him. She had tried to stay away. She tried to distract but it didn’t work so she finally gave in.

He didn’t want to hurt her. He never wanted to hurt her. Even in his anger, even his coldness, in his small jabs, he didn’t want real pain, but he saw it on her there. “You were just different. It wasn’t your fault, it wasn’t like you were anything bad, just-- you changed. You probably just grew. But it felt like-- just like every time I visited you like I was an outsider watching you and your friends live and it was just... just a life I wasn’t a part of anymore.” He was good at controlling himself, the words coming out measured despite the pain behind his eyes. “It doesn’t matter now,” he shrugged, not entirely sure what to believe with her. He’d never understood how fast she moved on and it made less sense with the display she was putting on now. And he tried to convince himself with that.. that maybe they’d always been too different to make it last, it just took time away to see it. “You told him you needed time, and what does he think you need time for?” He asked the question and every part of him screamed out at how fucked up it was-- how he couldn’t fathom the pain the woman he loved doing that to him would do. But when he thought of that.. of ‘the woman he loved,’ it was the woman right in front of him he imagined. He couldn’t imagine anyone else having such power over his emotions.

[burningbridges-writes]

wes-maddox‌:

“But that’s not realistic, Dakota! Just because you sit here and say you’d have a million fights– okay, well what if it’s just broken? What if there’s no fight that will fix it, what if we’re just different people.” He felt the same. He felt she was different, but that would cause waves. He didn’t blame her for it, not for that. She didn’t mean to change, it’d just happened. How could she stop herself from it? Even if her anger over this had led him to believe she was far from over it, he never expected her to say the words, and he certainly never expected her to be implying she’d come back for him. The confessions left him speechless for a moment, his eyes glued on hers as if trying to figure out if what he’d just heard was even real or if he’d imagined the whole thing. He didn’t know how to feel or what to say, so he fell short. As it seemed she felt he’d done quite often. “I’m– I’m with someone. And I thought you were too.”

“No. No!” She refused to listen to him say these things, shaking her head before he had even finished. Tears of frustration and past pain burned in her eyes but didn’t fall. “We weren’t broken. We were out of sync. And that is something you can fix. We were still us when it came down to it. I still love you. I wanted you. Maybe how we could be together was going to be different but not us!” And she believed that. With her whole heart she believed it. Dakota didn’t see the changes in herself as much as she just finally had the chance to be more. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as she waited for any kind of response. “I… I am,” she admitted feeling guilty but not enough to stop what she was saying. “It’s… it’s complicated.” It wasn’t really but she felt like it was. She did have someone. Someone who was planning to come here after her, but she came early because she needed time with Wes. “I never stopped wanting to be with you Wes, and I thought… I thought that if I came back, if I bought this stupid house it would show you what a mistake this past year was.”

[wes-maddox]

He hated seeing the tears built up in her eyes so he cast his gaze down. He was trying to retreat, to pull away from this argument, to pull away from the pain and anger and frustration to return to what he’d been sitting in. It seemed easier to just be cold and distant than confront any of this, and his little dip of the toe in it had only confirmed that. “You felt different to me,” he finally just went out with it. “I didn’t stop loving you or wanting us, but nothing felt like you and nothing felt like us.” A pain burned in his chest and he felt an instant regret at the words, not sure why. Maybe it was because he didn’t know what her reaction would be and he was afraid to find out. Nothing that could come from her would be good, there was no winning in this conversation. Her words brought back the anger he was trying to stave off. “Is that what you told him when he asked if were still together too? That it was complicated?!” He found himself just outright accusing her of something he’d never voiced. “I mean honestly Dakota, how do you expect me to react to this? You bought a house here, what? For you and him to live in and you want that to be what makes me see we should be together?!”

[burningbridges-writes]

wes-maddox‌:

“Then it’s a good thing I set us both free from that life,” he said it in frustration, but he let out a breath, expression softening slightly. “Don’t you see just in that? That you were afraid to reach out to me for whatever reason, we weren’t the same. And we couldn’t be.. because it’s impossible to be. And you couldn’t be here and I couldn’t be there. And it was painful and neither of us should have lived like that,” he shook his head. And part of him believed the words, but the other half of him that still ached from losing her would have taken that pain back. Her words stood out to him, how bad he wanted to keep them apart, and the confusion shown on his face, but he was quick to brush it aside. The way he took it initially was wrong, the more obvious meaning was that was what he was physically doing. Trying to keep them apart, not as friends, not as anything. “If that’s all you think it would have taken to fix our relationship, I can’t change your mind. But I don’t know if it’s appropriate to be having this fight about a relationship we’re both supposed to be past now.”

“It was worth it to me. We were worth that and I would have chosen it time and time again. I would deal with all of it if that meant we’d be together. I would have had a hundred of these fights if you actually fought for us!” He could paint their problems as he wanted and she didn’t disagree with much of it, but he just didn’t do anything but give up. “I’m not past it!” She confessed in an outburst that she quickly came down from. She took a breath, running a hand through her long blonde locks. Dakota hadn’t wanted to get to this point. The yelling or the words that she was about to say. Thinking that with time she could say this but not with her just returning. “I have never been close nor did I want to be. Why do you think I am here, Wes. For a piece of pie when everyone here hates my family? Really? Think about it.” Her hands fell on the kitchen island as she looked at him, seeing if he’d put it together.

[wes-maddox]

“But that’s not realistic, Dakota! Just because you sit here and say you’d have a million fights-- okay, well what if it’s just broken? What if there’s no fight that will fix it, what if we’re just different people.” He felt the same. He felt she was different, but that would cause waves. He didn’t blame her for it, not for that. She didn’t mean to change, it’d just happened. How could she stop herself from it? Even if her anger over this had led him to believe she was far from over it, he never expected her to say the words, and he certainly never expected her to be implying she’d come back for him. The confessions left him speechless for a moment, his eyes glued on hers as if trying to figure out if what he’d just heard was even real or if he’d imagined the whole thing. He didn’t know how to feel or what to say, so he fell short. As it seemed she felt he’d done quite often. “I’m-- I’m with someone. And I thought you were too.”

[burningbridges-writes]

wes-maddox‌:

“It didn’t feel that way,” was all he said and he said it quietly. He’d let things get in the way of them, he knew that. Let little annoyances and feelings eat away at him. But it had reached a head for him, feeling that all of those things just meant her life was moving forward while his was staying in place and that could never be reconciled without her giving something up. “It’s very easy for you to see it this way because you were the one living that new life, Dakota! You were different, your life was different, things for you were different. And I was here, living our life. The life we lived every day together– I was still living alone! Okay? And what was I supposed to do? Ask you to give up a life you were building for yourself for me?” He swallowed harshly and shook his head, for some reason her anger came as such a surprise to him that it made him feel whiplashed. “This is so pointless to be yelling about,” he let out in an aggravated yell, hand whipping up to rub his forehead.

“Just because I had a different life didn’t mean that it was any easier for me. It killed me to be without you. Did you know there were times that friends would force me out because there was night after night I spent in my apartment aching to be with you? Late hours that I just wanted to hear your voice but didn’t want to worry you when you had your sister and other things. My scenery was different but I was just as alone as you! I was just the only one willing to sacrifice to get where we eventually would. Or should have been,” she quickly tagged on. “It wouldn’t have been if you had just had this fight with me a year ago! If you showed this much passion in wanting us as you are now with explaining how much you want to keep us apart!” And maybe that wasn’t fair. She had fallen short as well. It was just at the time, while she knew they had issues, the break up came as such a shock. She couldn’t breathe or think over the heartbreak that consumed her. Them ending never once came to her mind that when it happened her whole world was destroyed. 

[wes-maddox]

"Then it’s a good thing I set us both free from that life,” he said it in frustration, but he let out a breath, expression softening slightly. “Don’t you see just in that? That you were afraid to reach out to me for whatever reason, we weren’t the same. And we couldn’t be.. because it’s impossible to be. And you couldn’t be here and I couldn’t be there. And it was painful and neither of us should have lived like that,” he shook his head. And part of him believed the words, but the other half of him that still ached from losing her would have taken that pain back. Her words stood out to him, how bad he wanted to keep them apart, and the confusion shown on his face, but he was quick to brush it aside. The way he took it initially was wrong, the more obvious meaning was that was what he was physically doing. Trying to keep them apart, not as friends, not as anything. “If that’s all you think it would have taken to fix our relationship, I can’t change your mind. But I don’t know if it’s appropriate to be having this fight about a relationship we’re both supposed to be past now.”

[burningbridges-writes]

wes-maddox‌:

“Because I did understand, which is exactly why I couldn’t ask you to stay. But that didn’t mean I wanted it or that it didn’t feel like you were leaving me. And maybe for a while it didn’t, but yeah. Call it selfish, call it whatever you like, but things changed. And do you think I liked that? Liked the thoughts that you getting your life together and having something for yourself hurt me? I didn’t, but I can’t help how I felt, Dakota!” He found himself getting to the exact level he didn’t want to be at, emotions fully out on the table for her. “It wasn’t just a little distance and I think you know that’s bull shit too. You were– I wasn’t just not the center of your world anymore, I wasn’t even in your world anymore. How could that ever work? When you’re building a life for yourself completely outside of me? It wasn’t working. And the only thing that’s bull shit is you acting like that’s not true!”

“A life that still very much had you at the forefront just because I couldn’t show that didn’t make it untrue!” And in her side of things, it was true. There wasn’t a single person in her new life that didn’t know about Wes. She talked about him often and never had she felt prouder than being able to introduce him to her new group. “No, you’re right. It wasn’t working then! But it was just a season, Wes! A moment in our relationship that we could have gotten past but you were so unwilling to do that. Couples go through things! Things get hard. And the moment it did you practically nailed the coffin shut for us!” She couldn’t stop. She couldn’t gain any control. She was so angry. Even angrier than she realized. “Me coming back was still on the table. If that was what it took to be with you I would have done it eventually. But you were stubborn and not even willing to look at other options. It was all about you! And what you wanted!”

[wes-maddox]

“It didn’t feel that way,” was all he said and he said it quietly. He’d let things get in the way of them, he knew that. Let little annoyances and feelings eat away at him. But it had reached a head for him, feeling that all of those things just meant her life was moving forward while his was staying in place and that could never be reconciled without her giving something up. “It’s very easy for you to see it this way because you were the one living that new life, Dakota! You were different, your life was different, things for you were different. And I was here, living our life. The life we lived every day together-- I was still living alone! Okay? And what was I supposed to do? Ask you to give up a life you were building for yourself for me?” He swallowed harshly and shook his head, for some reason her anger came as such a surprise to him that it made him feel whiplashed. “This is so pointless to be yelling about,” he let out in an aggravated yell, hand whipping up to rub his forehead.