it never leaves

Started off with an ED, ended up a [recovering] junkie. I don’t promote any behaviors, stay safe and don’t fuck your life up.

[westbehind]

my dad is gone 💔

[westbehind]

night 3 sitting at dads bedside in hospice just waiting for it to be over

this is the worst sort of hell imaginable

after so many years of being sick it just feels cruel he has to lay there like this at the end of it all

[westbehind]

sometimes you’ve just gotta get a little drunk

im sure I’ll curse myself in the morning when im going to work since its a wednesday night but fuck it, i only drink a couple times a year and desperate times and all that

fuck nightmares man

[consecuences]

[consecuences]

[westbehind]

the fact i have to get up and go to fucking work tomorrow and deal with idiots is absolutely killing me

all my friends keep telling me i need to take time off but it’s too depressing to say “im actually trying to not take time off right now, that way i have more days for when dad dies”

which will be any day now so i guess ill get my break soon enough

remember when my biggest issue of the day was getting high?

[westbehind]

thought maybe now that im another year older maybe, just maybe, the insomnia would magically go away

but alas. that’s not how shit works

happy birthday to me, im somehow not dead yet

[westbehind]

[westbehind]

ive got one parent actively dying, and the other is well on their way, so all in all this holiday fucking sucked

[westbehind]

missed my sober date, oops

hooray hurrah and all that jazz

[westbehind]

can everyone please stop talking shit to the cops when they pull you over pleaseeee. I don’t like the fuckers either but god it makes my job of getting y’all out of trouble so much more difficult, just let me do the arguing in court

[bled]

[wastedjackpot]

[westbehind]

My mom keeps sending me old videos and it’s wild how I truly just don’t remember most of them. There’s so many things that are just… gone from my brain. Graduation, family trips, weddings, funerals, all I remember is the highs

“Oh that’s restaurant I did [insert drug of the day] in the bathroom”

“That’s the trip I got sick and had to sneak out of the hotel to find shit”

I don’t think I’d change what happened if I could, but I wish I could have some of the other memories too

[westbehind]

Emery concerts are not optional, I will go to every fucking one I can get to, I don’t give a fuck if it’s a Wednesday night I’m fucking there

This was so worth being tired tomorrow

[westbehind]

got three days of relaxation but im already miserable again

[westbehind]