“ HERE I AM ” the words escape like a hiss . “ have you considered our definitions of good could be vastly different , father ? ” he cares very little for greatness , and he thinks this is what brannon expects . “ i was given every advantage to disappoint you . at every turn , it was never enough . you left a shadow that loomed so large and made it abundantly clear that i would never fill it . nothing has ever been enough for you .” he turns his back know , fists clenching and unclenching . “ here you are , pretending that you raised me to greatness rather than berating my shortcomings. pretending that it is i that have failed you . ” finally he turns , to meet his father face to face . “ anthor worships the ground you stand upon , but it is because he does not see you for who you are.” he shrugs , arms outstretched as if there is nothing left to say. “ SO HERE I AM . telling you that i see you . “
To say she was fuming would be a drastic understatement. How long had her hands been curled into fists, her face curdling into hatred? How many corridors had she been through, pacing? Even her footsteps seemed hostile, moving with swift purpose. Truth be told, she hadn’t even seen him hiding. As she was pulled into it, she gasped before assuming her previous stance. Oh, thank the gods it was Elyas! “You certainly did.” He had caught her off-guard, and now wasn’t the time to be caught like that. For once, she was quick to the point, worry coating her voice. “Have you seen her?”
HE CAN TELL BY THE TONE IN HER VOICE , and the furrow in her brow that his surprise has not been well received . he runs his hands down his arms , lips grazing the crown of her head before continuing . ‘NOT YET .’ he had wanted to , but knew brannon would get word of his appearance at the makeshift nursery . if there was a person elyas wanted to encounter less during a time of chaos , it was his father . to be a disappointment was enough - to be a disappointment during an opportunity to LEAD was another beast entirely . the pad of his thumb touche’s regan’s chin , and he sighs .’ WE NEED TO GET TO HER - - i just . . . i needed to know you were well , first . i thought . . .’ he shrugs. ‘ I DON’T KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT.’
HE KNOWS IT LOOKS SUSPICIOUS TO BE LURKING in corridors , but it is his only option . lord brannon must be occupied with the assassination attempt of the king he is sworn to serve , and that in itself provides opportunity . he keeps a watchful eye , waiting . if he knows her well enough ( and gods , he hopes he does ) she is not content to see their daughter waiting in a glorified nursery . she will be on her way . the sound of quiet footfalls alert him of a presence , and he peeks out from his hiding place . when she is close enough , he reaches out his hand , attempting to grab hold of hers and pull her into the quiet corner . something adjacent to a smile grazes his lips as he looks down at her . ‘ FOUND YOU ’
candlelight casting shadows larger than life , the crash of waves upon rocks , the clang of a blacksmith’s iron , a rage that threatens a legacy .
potential triggers : mentions of ‘madness’ (westeros really hates mental health) , violence & infidelity , & death .
elyas lefford was born the heir to a man, he knew from a young age , had expectations that his son would never be able to live up to. the threat of the shadow that brannon lefford created forever altered him. he knew that his father expected greatness of him , but greatness felt an elusive concept - something so difficult to attain , he did not even bother to try .
without the guidance of a support system beyond what tutors and septons could offer him , elyas became a very quiet child . his every emotion he internalized , and as he grew , quietness became replaced with bitterness & sarcasm that he played off as wit - - a trait in an unusual personality rather than a means of coping with a life of unanswered questions, frustration. he pursued his ‘lordly’ studies for the sake of propriety alone , finding true solace & pleasure in the outdoors , and in the pursuit of knowledge.
much to his father’s chagrin, as elyas found opportunity to escape the confines of the westerlands, citing ‘bettering himself as a lord’ as a reason for travel. t was through these ventures across the narrow sea that he became a man -- where he truly learned of what life could be. he fell in ‘love’ one too many times , made friends & enemies , but for the first time he truly had the opportunity to LIVE .
this respite from a bleak existence was all too brief , as elyas was called back home . it was time for him to grow up. to be the lord that his duty & destiny called him to be. his father secured him a betrothal, and in quick succession he was to marry. she was beautiful , he was told. charming , even . the most important factor was that she held power in her name.
the prospect of a companion excited elyas . perhaps he could right the wrongs of a difficult family by creating one of his own. perhaps he could grow into the man he was meant to be. the pair had little contact before the wedding itself , and it was true , mariya was beautiful . she was alluring in ways elyas could have only dreamed of in a bride.
what ought to have been wedded bliss was quickly revealed to be the beginning of a time of toil . convention was thrown aside without any explanation to elyas. the conditions of the arrangement that had been made with the young bride’s father insisted that she remain within the confines of casterly rock until his death . these unusual circumstances were all part of a greater plan of which neither elyas nor his father had been informed
the bride’s cloak was placed on her shoulders , and elyas noticed something in her eyes that frightened him . blissfully sweet in one moment , something vicious would overtake her visage in the next . when the time for the bedding came , all sweetness left her , and she lunged for him in a rage , clawing at him , screaming , until she was removed from the room .
the following morning , it was as if nothing had transpired between them . she pressed a kiss to his cheek and disappeared into the gardens or the remainder of the day. these fits became more and more frequent . despite what efforts he could make to soothe her , mariya seemed unreachable to him , appearing only in fleeting moments before violent tendencies returned . she was capable of moving about the keep unnoticed , once scaring elyas’ horse so severely that it threw him , leaving him with a longstanding injury. after the event , she laughed & laughed , before sitting vigil at her husband’s side.
brannon lefford had not been informed of the bride’s condition. it had all been carefully constructed subterfuge to create a ‘comfortable prison’ for a woman who had committed no crime. the leffords had been used as a pawn to save a house from shame & rid another lord of his ‘mad’ daughter .
elyas was ill-equipped to care for his wife, but he did his best , keeping a permanent septa at his home to assist mariya. he offered her what affection he could , knowing that whatever her affliction , she was not responsible for it . he loved her in the best ways that he could , protecting her as his wife .
bitter and angry at the way he had been used , elyas spent more & more time away from casterly rock and the frustrations of his station , making friends in the reach & stormlands, and spending extended time as house guests of other lords and ladies. he did not discuss his wife & when he was asked , he made apologies for her , excusing her for a vaguely defined illness that often left her at home .
it was during this time that elyas’ entered into an affair with a noblewoman from the westerlands , desperately seeking seeking comfort in the arms of another -- searching for the compassion absent from the majority of his lifetime . he fell terribly in love with her . it seemed, that she fell for him too. she became pregnant , and in his time away, was sent away to deliver a child.
while elyas tried to sift through the ramifications of the birth , the majority of the ‘fixing’ fell to the burden of brannon. the lady was settled comfortably in lannisport, with express instructions not to contact elyas. elyas swiftly ignored this order, making frequent visits to see his child.
he began split his time between caring for both his ‘daughter’ & her mother, and his wife , giving little regard for the ways in which it was unraveling him.
a fever coursed powerfully through casterly rock, taking his wife after a great period of illness.
elyas grieved mariya far more than he imagined . perhaps , more honestly , he grieved the loss of his life - a life he never had , and never would have . he became reclusive , maintaining the duties of heir for the sake of appearances , and the memory of his wife. any quiet anger in elyas was now transformed into an outspoken rage, a defiance towards the forces that sought to control him.
with his child now in lannisport and no marital ties to bind him, elyas thought it was the opportunity he was looking for to marry & build the life he had dreamt of. brannon had other ideas, thinking about the state of the house rather than the state of his son. plans for a new betrothal were carefully formed, and clear expectations were set for the man elyas was expected to be.
TIDBITS
elyas is capable of such intense emotions. he does not necessarily know how to properly channel them. in his youth, it was repression of them. as he has grown, he has began to be more vocal about his feelings, even bordering on outward defiance.
despite what he pretends, he cares very much about the state of his people, he just doesn’t care for the posturing & games that comes with being a lord. he’s kind, but he doesn’t know how to express anything.
gifted swordsman !! he keeps threatening to join the night’s watch but never does.
he’s so smart , and so capable , but he literally does not know how to apply himself.
he intends to legitimize his child no matter what his father says, and cares so much for the mother of his child.
to those he loves ( and those who show love in return ) he loves fiercely and with extreme loyalty.
despite everything he says, he wants his father’s approval, but knowing that he will likely never receive it complicates the relationship significantly.
he’s a social chameleon as a means of coping with everything . he pretends that everything is fine and is exceedingly charming in social situations . he plays a good lord , even if he does not think himself one.
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