My 365-days story

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My religion

I admit I’m religious. I’m a catholic and I proudly practice my religion, although not on a fanatic, blind way as many of you may think. I believe in God and I sure believe God is everywhere and has something for each of us. I also have to admit that I’m not a huge fan of religious ceremonies, I believe that each of us has different relationships with God and he loves us that way.

Last year we had a serious family problem, it was not even sure if we will spend any more Christmas, all four, together. It was hurting me, I cried a lot that time and I didn’t want to believe that it’s happening with us again. I went to the church several times and I honestly prayed to God: “Please keep my family together.” And we did stay together. Then I promised I would go at least once in a month to a church and thank God for whatever I can. And so did I. For a few months I went alone to the church, thanked God for my family, for my friends and loved ones. And I also asked him to keep them safe and in happiness, and I was/am happy to do so, it makes me somehow content.

I have to admit that for 2 or 3 months now, I haven’t gone to the church, and I feel bad for it. But today I went back again. Nothing special, just went inside, said some prayers and then I thanked for what I already have and asked him to give me patience and strength. And today I realized why I feel content after such a visit. I have the time and space to think through my life, summerize what I have and practice gratitude. Also I’m thinking about my problems, why they are even problems, what are my feelings regarding them, why I reacted the way I did. Moreover what could I do on an other way and what would be the solution. It’s as simple as a meditation. Well, maybe I could meditate instead of praying, but we are different, everyone believe in something. I believe in God.

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My rules to live by

Inspiration from zenhabits.net blog by Leo Babauta (related article: http://zenhabits.net/12rules/)

I found the idea appealing to collect some ground rules by that I am trying to lead my life. Not without any reason. I always kept in mind 1 or 2 of my rules, but without putting them down, I couldn't focus on all of them. My aim with these is to treat it like some kind of bucket list or guidance that I can evaluate, let’s say, annually.  Although at the time when I have read this article I thought that 12 rules are just simply too many, I ended up with 14. I really tried to cut or merge them, but then I realized I am young, lack of some experiences and eventually as I am growing up and learn I can update them anytime. These are the rules of the 23-years old me. There are operative rules related to daily life and there some important principles.

So here is the first version of my list.:

Keep the habit of getting up early!

Do sports and keep myself active!

Do it immediately, do not say I have time for that! I have so many ideas, realize them!

Care less about material things and spend more on experiences and knowledge!

Be grateful for what I have! Do not compare to others, I have what I deserve!

Be a straightforward person! Be direct and honest to others!

Treat people with respect, patience and understanding and avoid negative and judging thoughts!

See and use opportunities in everything, everywhere!

Wherever I am, be all there and do my best!

Never regret! I will make mistakes, I am not perfect, but learn from it and keep going!

Everything is my responsibility, so do not blame others for anything!

Never ever forget to learn and develop! From people, from books, from news, from anything!

Accept what people are willing to give and never expect. Instead appreciate that they are in my life, do not give up on them and give them what I can from myself.

Do not be afraid to be alone! There are paths that should be taken alone, only by myself.

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part of me

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Finding out what makes you weak is half of the solution

 After giving out endless advises about relationships, crushes, breakups and ‘friendzones’ to my dear friends, this is the time I realize I suffer from the very same disease: lack of confidence. But mine is the most stubborn one: when I believe I am a confident, determined woman, who knows what she wants, how she wants and how much she worth. But this last part is simply not true… I assume that I’m single for a long time because I’m not worthy and not good enough for someone/anyone. And time after time I find myself in a situation when I’m desperately trying to get confirmation and positive feedback just to prove that there are men who are interested. E.g. meeting strange people in parties, or starting strange conversations with people who are obviously not the right ones. So the conclusion: everyone needs to believe she’s worthy, there’s something good waiting for her, no matter how many time has to pass. Don’t make yourself vulnerable just for a tiny, useless feedback. Be ‘mature enough to understand that loyalty, commitment and honesty is a priority and not an option”! Don’t be overconfident or feminist or have exaggerated expectations. Just be yourself, surround yourself with the right people, find your goal, work your ass off for that and everything will come in the right time and place.

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49/365 my little bro is working hard

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48/365 i ate a surprisingly yummi menu at my college. And i was happy to acknowledge the lack of crowd after the lunchbreak

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47/365 from the dormitory window.

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#46/365 OPEV rocks this weekend. (at Széchenyi István Egyetem)

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45/365 bff :)

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44/365 coming soon!

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43/365 bubbles in the budapest night

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42/365 thats how we feed winter birds:)

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41/365