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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Janaina Medeiros
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will byers stan first human second
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
i don't do bad sauce passes
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taylor price
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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Cosimo Galluzzi
oozey mess
trying on a metaphor
Sweet Seals For You, Always
NASA
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@westwingquotes
Mandatory Minimums (1.20)
Sam: The American Medical Association says that addiction is a disease.
Al Keifer: You're not going to be able to sell that.
Sam: Al!
Al: You're not going to be able to sell it.
Toby: The AMA says it, why does it he have to sell it?
Al: Because -
Toby: Drug addiction is a disease. It's a...it's... it's a...medical problem. It can be treated. This isn't ideological. It's science.
Al: It's science to you.
Toby: Science is science to everybody, Al.
Faith Based Initiative (6.10)
Santos: And I'm here to tell you that hope is real. In a life of trials, in the world of challenges, hope is real. In a country where families go without health care, where some go without food, some don't even have a home to speak of, hope is real. In a time of global chaos and instability where our faiths collide as often as our weapons, hope is real. Hope is what gives us the courage to take on our greatest challenges, to move forward together. We live in cynical times, I know that. But hope is not up for debate. There is such a thing as false science, there is such a thing as false promises, and I am sure I will have my share of false starts. But there is no such thing as false hope. There is only hope.
Five Votes Down (1.4)
Donna: Congratulations, Josh.
Josh: What did I do?
Donna: You won our award for best gift valued over $25 on the financial disclosure report.
Josh: Really?
Donna: Yeah.
Josh: What won it for me?
Donna: The $1189 Viennatelli silk smoking jacket from Miss Sarah Wissinger.
Josh: Ah, yes.
Donna: You're also the runner up, by the way, with the $345 antique scrimshaw cigarette holder, also from Miss Sarah Wissinger.
Josh: Well, Sarah was very fond of me.
Donna: I'd imagine with that smoking jacket and the cigarette holder, you were quite the dandy.
Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics (1.21)
Toby: The question is asymmetrical.
CJ: That may be so, but the question originated 2 decades ago and has proven to be a consistent predictor of a voter's potential behavior. So it stays the way it is.
Josh: I have a problem with fourteen.
CJ: What's your problem?
Josh:"When making policy decisions, do you think that President Bartlet puts the needs of average people first?" "Average people" is a pejorative phrase and occurs about six times in the polling model.
CJ: This may come as a shock to you, but 80% of the people in this country would use the word "average" to describe themselves. They do not find the term deprecating. Indeed, being considered an "average American" is something they find to be positive and comforting.
Leo: CJ.
CJ: Yes?
Leo: "Jed Bartlet cares about people like me."
CJ: Leo, we went over this.
Toby: We need to talk about the asymmetry of question six.
CJ: We really don't.
Toby: Since when are you an expert on language?
CJ: In polling models?
Toby: Okay.
CJ: 1993. Since when are you an uptight pain in the ass?
Toby: Since long before that.
Pilot (1.1)
CJ: Why don't we all sit down?
Bartlet: No. Let's not, CJ. These people won't be staying that long. May I have some coffee, Mr. Lewis? Al, how many times have I asked you to denounce the practices of a fringe group that calls itself The Lambs of God?
Al Caldwell: Sir, it's not up to me to -
Bartlet: Crap. It is up to you, Al. You know, my wife, Abbey, she never wants me to do anything while I'm upset. 28 years ago, I come home from a very bad day at the State House. I tell Abbey I'm going out for a drive. I get in the station wagon, and put it in reverse, and pull out of the garage full speed. Except I forgot to open the garage door. Abbey told me to not drive while I was upset and she was right. She was right yesterday when she told me not to get on that damn bicycle while I was upset, but I did it anyway, and I guess I was just about as angry as I've ever been in my life. It seems my granddaughter Annie had given an interview in one of the teen magazines, and somewhere between movie stars and makeup tips, she talked about her feelings on a woman's right to choose. Now Annie, all of 12, has always been precocious, but she's got a good head on her shoulders and I like it when she uses it, so I couldn't understand it when her mother called me in tears yesterday. I said, "Elizabeth, what's wrong?" She said, "It's Annie." Now I love my family and I've read my bible from cover to cover so I want you to tell me, from what part of the Holy Scripture do you suppose the Lambs of God drew their divine inspiration when they sent my 12-year-old granddaughter a Raggedy Ann doll with a knife stuck through its throat? You'll denounce these people, Al. You'll do it publicly. And until you do, you can all get your fat asses out of my White House.
Gone Quiet (3.6)
Bruno: I don't know any other way to fight fire, Toby.
Sam: Why are you so bent on countering these idiot leaflets?
Bruno: Cause I am tired of working for candidates who make me think I should be embarrassed to believe what I believe, Sam. I'm tired of getting them elected. We all need some therapy, because somebody came along and said "liberal" means soft on crime, soft on drugs, soft on Communism, soft on defense, and we're gonna tax you back to the Stone Age because people shouldn't have to go to work if they don't want to. And instead of saying "Well, excuse me, you right-wing, reactionary, xenophobic, homophobic, anti-education, anti-choice, pro-gun,'Leave it to Beaver' trip back to the fifties," we cowered in the corner and said "Please, don't hurt me." No more. I really don't care who's right, who's wrong. We're both right. We're both wrong. Let's have two parties, huh? What do you say?
Mandatory Minimums (1.20)
Sam: The American Medical Association says that addiction is a disease.
Al Keifer: You're not going to be able to sell that.
Sam: Al!
Al: You're not going to be able to sell it.
Toby: The AMA says it, why does it he have to sell it?
Al: Because -
Toby: Drug addiction is a disease. It's a...it's... it's a...medical problem. It can be treated. This isn't ideological. It's science.
Al: It's science to you.
Toby: Science is science to everybody, Al.
Privateers (4.18)
Abbey: You didn't make the calls?
Bartlet: I'm not prepared to do that yet.
Abbey: What would happen if you said: Send me this bill with the gag rule and I'll veto?
Bartlet: I don't know.
Abbey: Did you talk to the leadership?
Bartlet: I'm not prepared to do that yet.
Abbey: It's not that the money can't go to clinics that perform abortions. It's that it can't go to clinics that talk about abortions.
Bartlet: I know what the gag rule is.
Abbey: I wasn't reminding you what the gag rule was. I was reminding you that you sent 11,000 U.S. troops to KuHndu because in your inauguration you told us that we were for freedom of speech everywhere.
Bartlet: That's great except people are starving to death, and they're dying of disease to death, and they can't cook the Bill of Rights.
Abbey: So we're for freedom of speech everywhere but poor countries, where they can have our help but only if they live up to Clancy Bangart's moral standards? What the hell kind of free world are you running?
Mandatory Minimums (1.20)
Sam: Mandatory Minimums are racist.
Toby: I understand that.
Sam: They're a red herring.
Toby: I understand that, too.
Sam: It's a way of looking like you're tough on crime, without assuming the burden of being tough on crime.
Toby: Everything you've said I understand.
Sam: I'm saying -
Toby: We do things one thing at a time.
Sam: But I'm saying we don't have time to do things one thing at a time.
Toby: We're talking about treatment.
Sam: I'm talking about treatment and I'm talking about Mandatory Minimums and I'm saying it's a red herring and I'm saying it's racist.
Inauguration: Over There (4.15)
Bartlet: There's a promise that I ask everyone who works here to make: never doubt that a small group of thoughtful and committed citizens can change the world. You know why?
Will: It's the only thing that ever has.
And It's Surely To Their Credit (2.5)
Leo: She's not an idiot, Lionel. She clerked for Dreifort.
Tribbey: Well, Dreifort's an idiot.
Leo: Dreifort's a Supreme Court Justice, Lionel, so let's speak of him with respect, and practice some tolerance for those who disagree with us.
Tribbey: I believe as long as Justice Dreifort is intolerant toward gays, lesbians, blacks, unions, women, poor people, and first, fourth, fifth, and ninth amendments, I will remain intolerant towards him.
The Debate (7.7)
Santos: It's true. Republicans have tried to turn liberal into a bad word. Well, liberals ended slavery in this country.
Vinick: A Republican President ended slavery.
Santos: Yes, a liberal Republican, Senator. What happened to them? They got run out of your party. What did liberals do that was so offensive to the Republican party? I'll tell you what they did. Liberals got women the right to vote. Liberals got African-Americans the right to vote. Liberals created Social Security and lifted millions of elderly people out of poverty. Liberals ended segregation. Liberals passed the Civil Rights Act, the Voting Rights Act. Liberals created Medicare. Liberals passed the Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act. What did Conservatives do? They opposed them on every one of those things. Every one. So when you try to hurl that label at my feet - Liberal - as if it were something to be ashamed of, something dirty, something to run away from, it won't work, Senator, because I will pick up that label and I will wear it as a badge of honor.
Faith Based Initiative (6.10)
Santos: And I'm here to tell you that hope is real. In a life of trials, in the world of challenges, hope is real. In a country where families go without health care, where some go without food, some don't even have a home to speak of, hope is real. In a time of global chaos and instability where our faiths collide as often as our weapons, hope is real. Hope is what gives us the courage to take on our greatest challenges, to move forward together. We live in cynical times, I know that. But hope is not up for debate. There is such a thing as false science, there is such a thing as false promises, and I am sure I will have my share of false starts. But there is no such thing as false hope. There is only hope.
Election Night (4.7)
Toby: We haven't won anything yet.
CJ: The speech is done.
Toby: Two speeches are done.
CJ: What's the second?
Toby: I've got a speech if he wins, I've got a speech if he doesn't.
Sam: You wrote a concession?
Toby: Of course I wrote a concession. You want to tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing?
Sam: ...No.
Toby: Then go outside, turn around three times and spit. What the hell's the matter with you?
Sam: It's like 25 degrees outside.
Toby: Go.
Josh: Hello.
CJ: Oh, Mr. Lyman. I see your picture in the magazine. Tell me, if I swallow my ballot, does it still -
Josh: A little election day humor, that's great.
Sam: He wrote a concession speech.
Josh: Of course he wrote a concession speech. Why wouldn't he? What possible reason would he have for not writing a concession speech?
Sam: The wrath from high atop the thing.
Toby: He up and said we were gonna...
Josh: No, you got to go outside, turn around three times and curse.
Toby: Spit.
Josh: Spit and curse.
Toby: Do everything. Go!
20 Hours in America, Part 2 (4.2)
Toby: Do you think he ever disagreed with one of his advisors? Do you think, honestly, do you think he's ever said to one of his advisors, "I've got a different idea?" I don't care if he thinks Luxembourg's an uptown stop on the IRT. And I don't care about the Greco-Roman wrestling matches with the language - not that polished communication skills are an important part of this job. What I care about is when he was asked if he'd continue the current U.S. policy in China he said, "First off, I'm going to send them a message: meet an American leader." I don't know what that means, but everybody cheered.
Josh: Which is one of the reasons that I work full-time for his opponent. I don't know what gave you the impression that I had to be convinced, but I want to win. You want to beat him, and that's a problem for me, because I want to win.
The Short List (1.9)
Bartlet: You don't think the guy who called Sam wouldn't know how to call a senator's office?
Toby: Mr. President, if this is really about abortion, we already talked about -
Sam: It's not about abortion. It's about the next 20 years. '20s and '30s, it was the role of government. '50s and '60s, it was civil rights. The next two decades, it's gonna be privacy. I'm talking about the Internet. I'm talking about cellphones. I'm talking about health records, and who's gay and who's not. And moreover, in a country born on a will to be free, what could be more fundamental than this?
