What Lonnie Thinks About Things

Writer. Filmmaker. Will write for money/fame.

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

Ownership

Senaai and I bought three CDs the other day. We actually looked around the store, picked and bought physical CDs and took them home with us. We still buy DVDs and Blu Rays quite regularly too. There was a stage a few years ago where we raided Cash Converters for old DVDs in a 10 for $10 deal. I can't miss a good deal. And we still go to the cinema at least once a week, if we can arrange the time.

We're an anomaly now. It's all about the stream. Spotify and Netflix are wonderful innovations, don't get me wrong. I marvel at the fact I have access to nearly every song ever. If ten year old me had been able to watch all of Power Rangers, I doubt I'd have finished school. A month of Netflix is cheaper than one cinema experience.

But I doubt I'm the only one who adds everything to their queue but can never decide on what to watch, and that's if we've found the time. And having access to nearly every song ever is great but it's overwhelming. Spotify has become background music, not something I think too much about. Not something I search a whole store for.

There's so much I've found via streaming that I wouldn't have any other way. But it's never really felt like mine. It's like renting a movie or borrowing a song. Nice for awhile but not really yours forever. I get that it's cheaper and greener and it all makes so much sense. Too much sense.

Buying the thing confers that sense of ownership. The movies we love are on display. Our CDs are there for all to see. Our bookshelf is overflowing. Having access to the thing is nice. Having it is even better. It feels like a belonging. It feels like it belongs.

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

Wise Men

Can’t Help Falling In Love boomed out of the speakers, the good version. A dad asked his daughters who was singing.

 They were about four or five, they’d have no idea. He tried to prompt them.

 “It starts with an E…?”

“Elephant!”

“No, someone Presley…?”

“Elephant Presley!”

 The players on the field finished their warm up. In the stands, we got ready to watch. I got ready to film.

 Junior rugby league in Toowoomba. Pretty far down on the list of world priorities. Pretty far from everything.

 Somewhere else, a whole lot of important people consider destroying the world. Makes you wonder why we were bothering here, playing and watching footy.

 Shouldn’t we be trying to do something? Something important? Something to stop the craziness?

 Not much we could do. Maybe we were doing something. We should care more about all the heartache in the world, I firmly believe that.

 But living our lives uninterrupted is something of antidote as well. Something small.

 The Final Countdown played next. Something else played after that.  

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

Gone With The Classics

Does anything compare to knocking an important film off your to watch list? I’m no way to finishing mine and probably never will. But it’s always a thrill to watch a classic.

 This week it was Gone With The Wind. It’s always been one of those films I know I should see but never really got around to watching. There was actually a very specific sequence of events that had to occur for us to watch it this time.

 First, we found it cheap on DVD at the Lifeline Bookfest. This is probably the only place we would have found it so cheap and also been so caught up in the moment that we would decide we absolutely have to buy it there and then (Senaai and I get very caught up at the Lifeline Bookfest). It’s not the sort of film you’ll just chuck on if it’s on Netflix, but if it’s on the shelf staring at you, you’ll get round to watching it eventually.

 Second, we had to find a whole day to put aside to watch the film since it’s goddamn almost four hours long. We’re busy people, even if we mainly just go to the shops and back. Eventually this happened, only for us to discover the DVD was the wrong region – I imagine that was why it was at Bookfest in the first place.

 Luckily Senaai’s parents have a region free DVD player, so we had to, thirdly, find a time to take it over to their place for a screening. Luckily again we look after their beautiful dog Cooper when they’re away, so the opportunity came up organically. We could hardly have put it on after dinner one night is what I’m saying (again, four hours long).

 But, fourthly, we had to actually be in the mood to watch the thing. That mood doesn’t always happen on cue. I’m probably always in the mood for a Batman or a Richard Linklater or a Hitchcock – but am I always in the mood for an American  Civil War epic? Not really unfortunately.

 But eventually it did happen. The stars aligned and we saw the film. After almost two years on the shelf, we saw Gone With The Wind.

 And it was fine. Very good in some places. Vivien Leigh was amazing, and the first half of the film was certainly compelling. However, overall, I didn’t think it was all that wonderful. As someone who doesn’t mind long melodramatic films, it was still a bit too long and a bit too melo. Most of the characters were just awful people being awful to each other, which can work up to a point, but I’m not sure it did here.

 The racism is still there in all its glory and there’s a marital rape scene that is handled about as poorly as you could possibly imagine. It’s a product of its time etc but it was still hard to stomach. Same goes with being asked to empathise with former slave owners – weird.

 But I'm glad to have seen it. It’s one of the big ones after all – the fact that it is so important is somehow its biggest achievement. I’m not sure if I will see it again anytime soon though. I’m grateful though, because I've always had this weird thought that I couldn’t be a proper filmmaker if I hadn’t seen Gone With The Wind. Now I have, so maybe I’ll finally get that big break.

 Apocalypse Now is the next biggest film, the potential roadblock to success in my mind. Maybe that’ll be next. Maybe in two years.

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

Between jobs

Nobody tells you about the mental strain of unemployment. To be fair, it’s not something you’d really be able to understand until you're in it.

 It’s hard to keep applying for jobs when I’ve already been knocked back for dozens already. The two university degrees I have look pretty pointless. I sometimes can’t think of anything else apart from my lack of work. I check my emails every ten minutes, hoping I might have some good news. No luck. The one good opportunity I had suddenly stopped dead after two rounds of interviews. No word back.

 As a creative person, I know I should be working on my craft but it’s not easy or fun to keep writing a script when I’m so stressed. I know I should be out there hustling, creating my own stuff, getting the name out there, but without financial security it’s hardly a walk in the park. Nobody will ever just offer me a creative job, I know I need to make it happen, but how do you even start when you’re so unstable? It’s no wonder the arts are filled with the rich – they have the time and money to get through the shitty part at the start. Not everyone does.

 We’re doing okay. Better than a lot of people in our situation. We’ve got some money saved up, Centrelink, our parents are helping us out. Even if things don’t turn around, we won’t hit rock bottom for a while.

 But I want to work. I want to do all the creative projects I don’t feel like working on. I want the financial security so I can be creatively focused. How do you strike the balance?

 I tried teaching, couldn’t hack it. I like tutoring at uni, but can hardly get any work. I found the perfect job, never heard back. Found another, have to wait months to find out. Think about studying some more, but it seems pretty useless.

 I write as much as I can, I read a lot, watch even more. If I can just crack the job side of things, the rest will fall into place. So where do you find the missing puzzle piece?

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

Fortunate events

I love reading. I wouldn’t have done nearly as well at school and uni if I hadn’t read so much. I had friends and whatever, but books are so much better. There’s something about the actual process of reading that expands your mind so much more than just watching a film or playing a video game (although I love and see all the benefits of those activities too). I’m not a scientist but I’m sure escaping into a book is great for your mental health. Even before I knew I wanted to be a writer, I knew reading was the shit. I haven’t always been good at keeping up with reading – there was a long time during school and the beginning of uni where I was too drained by all the boring academic reading that I didn’t want to do the fun rewarding reading. But I'm back at it now, and I credit Gone Girl for reinvigorating me back in 2014. Thanks Gillian Flynn, I needed it.

 Anyway. A Series of Unfortunate Events. My mum, a high school teacher, borrowed the books from her school library for me when I was still in primary school. This was around the time the film was released. I remember previously seeing the books at the shops and being scared but intrigued by the creepy illustrations and, I suppose, the whole concept. Upon reading, though, I was hooked, and discovered quite quickly that they were disturbing but also hilarious. Lemony broke all the storytelling rules I had come across in my eleven or so years. He spoke to the reader, he interrupted the story with extraneous information, and he was even apart of the story! Even as a kid, I just got it, you know, I understood hoe we was playing with the reader and the format and I loved it, even if I didn’t always get all the references. I felt so adult realising the tricks and working out the Olaf-in-disguise plot format. It was all so over the top in its doom and gloom and I thought it was great. When Lemony told me to stop reading but I did anyway, well, wasn’t I the rebellious youth? And when I found out Lemony Snicket wasn’t even a real guy, his name was actually Daniel Handler? Mind blown.

 My love for the series inadvertently led to my first interaction with the underbelly of the Internet – mean commenters. I found a Lemony Snicket forum online and attempted to enlighten the audience with an Easter Egg I had found. One day, in a moment of superb detective work, I realised the final illustration of each book included a hint regarding the plot of the upcoming instalment. I raced to the computer and breathlessly alerted the forum community to my discovery. However, I soon discovered this information was well known to everyone except me. In turn, I also discovered the nastiness of some people as I was mercilessly mocked for my ignorance. I mean, I was stupid but I was eleven. You’re supposed to be an idiot. I swore off forums and still to this day, over a decade later, have a bad taste in my mouth about the whole affair and rarely comment publicly on the internet, which proves I am very grown up and have dealt with it.

 Luckily, the whole debacle didn’t put me off A Series of Unfortunate Events for good. The movie came out and it was fine but I knew it wasn’t quite right. I’ll revisit it some day.

 One day at uni I happened upon The Basic Eight, Daniel Handler’s first amazing novel. I read Why We Broke Up, which is easily my favourite YA book around the same time. My admiration for Handler grew.

 And now the Netflix adaptation of the Unfortunate Events books is out. And I’m hooked again. What a ride. What a feeling, seeing your childhood imagination come to life. What a singular vision, a totally unique world. I haven’t thought of much else since devouring all eight episodes in a few days. It isn’t perfect but it is spectacular.

 I was worried about Patrick Warburton as Lemony but he’s turned out to be my favourite part of the whole show. His integration in the show is something I’ve never really seen before. It’s as impressive to me now as Lemony talking to me on the page was fifteen years ago.

 I know realise the series is not about unfortunate events, or useless adults, or a hopeless world, as some reviewers have stated. It’s actually about wonderful, brave, resourceful kids. Of course they’re placed in a story where they have to use all their ingenuity to survive. If they lived in a happy carefree world, they wouldn’t seem so amazing.

 My beautiful and thoughtful girlfriend Senaai also loved the series growing up and bought as the box set of the novels for Christmas. I can’t thank her enough because I’ll be reading them all again ASAP. Like the Baudelaire’s, I love to read.  

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

The Heat

I know I'm Australian but I fucking hate hot weather. It’s probably because I’m Australian and live in the heat for so much of the year that I can’t stand it. If I lived in Siberia or England or somewhere, I’m sure I’d love a little bit of sun. The grass is always greener, the weather is always better somewhere else.

 But as it is, the hot weather always gets me down. Above about 30 degrees and any amount of humidity, I just can’t do anything productive. Just surviving the day is an achievement, and by night I’m too zonked to do anything anyway. I sweat like crazy and I can’t focus. If air conditioning is available, I feel too bad to use it because it’s destroying the environment, probably making things hotter. However, the environment is trying to destroy me, so is it really worth protecting?

 Were humans ever even meant to live in Queensland during summer? Surely we’re all supposed to head over to New Zealand or Antarctica, somewhere a bit more hospitable.

 Don’t get me started on the beach. Well, actually the beach is fine and I quite like being near the water. Being in it is another story.

 The ocean? Not for me. The pool? All yours. I’m not a swimmer, I never will be. I can’t deal with my legs not being stable on the ground. I can’t handle skiing for the same reason (and I can’t see myself water skiing anytime soon either). I know it’s a weird phobia, and I should probably see a psychologist about it but they’d just try to fix me and it used to make my mum cry and that’s never a good thing, but at some point you just have to work out who you are.  And I’m not a swimmer. I’m fine with that, I can do other stuff, but it sure doesn’t help me cool off when it’s hot.  

 Senaai and I used to live in a place that was basically an oven, so in summer we wouldn’t spend anytime at home during the day. I have fond memories of going down to the corner shop to get ice cream in the afternoon, and sitting on the stairs out the front of the place, waiting for the sun to go down. And I remember us saying at the time that we’ll look back on this fondly. And now we do. Were we always going to, or did we make ourselves?

 We still go to the movies and the shops a lot when it’s hot, mainly for the air con. I guess I’m not guilty about it killing the environment when I’m a step removed from culpability – I mean, they’re going to have it blasting anyway, right?

 We go to the movies and the shops a lot anyway, no matter the weather. Mostly we just do as little as possible.

 I feel sorry for our animals. They didn’t choose to live on a frypan with beautiful fur coats. We wash Sam down with a wet cloth and leave an ice brick in his bed, but he still flops on the tiles. We take Cooper for a walk down by the creek for a paddle. He gets his belly wet but doesn’t go too far. I think he’s not much of a swimmer either. Kitty usually keeps to herself when it’s too hot, under a bed or under a chair outside. She probably has the biggest coat of all.

 The heat is the only thing stopping us from raising a family here in Queensland. Well, we’re also too young, and have no money, and no life experience or even jobs. Pretty sure those things come in handy when you have kids. The plan is to travel first anyway, get our careers sorted first, then think about babies. When we can give them a good life, that’s when they might happen. But that might not be in Queensland during summer, hottest place in the universe, no thank you very much. Sorry family members, if you want to see our offspring, we’re going where it snows.

 I’ve talked about my love for the cold before. Never do I love it more than now. Sure, when it’s really cold you’re just as incapacitated as when it’s hot and humid. But at least you can have a blanket on. At least you can do the washing up without needing a shower straight after. At least you don’t get butt crack sweat.

 Oh yeah, that’s a thing all right. You don’t see it in the Australian tourism brochures, but it’s real and it’s excruciating. And it’s hot.  

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

Podcasting

Everyone has a podcast these days. They’re fun, free to listen to, easy to make, and can be about anything. It’s democratic for sure, but surely we’ve hit peak podcast by now? I mean I wouldn’t be surprised if my three-week-old nephew is reviewing toys and cartoons on SoundCloud somewhere.

 I’m not helping the world. My girlfriend and I have our own podcast, I Only Like You. Nobody really listens to it but we don’t care. We had listened to some podcasts together over the years but we were hardly avid listeners. I would never have dreamed we would do one ourselves. But here we are, 28 episodes in and it’s the highlight of our week.

 Looking back though, I’d always wanted to do something like this. I loved Ricky Gervais’s various podcasts (even the old XFM stuff that’s on YouTube) and always thought I could do something similar to that. I even began volunteering at a local community radio station but study and moving town and all sorts of things got in the way.

 But I hadn’t considered podcasting until earlier this year. I had to make a podcast as part of a university assignment, and even though it was about a relatively dry topic, I loved the process.

 So a few months ago, my girlfriend and I started our own podcast. I can’t remember when the idea first came to us, or the first conversation we had about it, but soon it was all we talked about. It seemed like something we could do. It seemed fun. Even if nobody listened to it, we would have a good time and flex our creative muscles.

 We threw around some ideas and quickly realised we’d love to review films because essentially that’s all we do anyway. We go to the movies and talk about them – very exciting people. Why not put that into a podcast? We’re lucky we found each other really – nobody else we know loves talking about movies just as much. It’s basically why we’re together.

 But we did want something more than films. And, like all the best ideas, it came to me while I was out on a walk. Apart from a shared love of movies, Senaai and I are together mainly because we don’t like anybody else. We often joke about how we hate the world and being around other people, how we only like each other. So the other half of the podcast was born – a generally tongue-in-cheek complaints segment.

 We did all the research and found a USB microphone that fit our budget. It’s not the best but it does the job. We practiced a few times in different parts of the house, both to find the best acoustic spot and to get comfortable talking ‘on air’.

 It took some time. At first I treated Senaai more like a guest on a radio show I was hosting. “Hi Senaai, how have you been, what’s been going on this week?” But it felt so forced and false. I already knew how she was and I’d spent all week with her. It felt like a performance and a bad one at that. We wanted the show to feel natural – more like you’re just overhearing a conversation we’re having. We weren’t good at sounding like other people, and if you wanted to listen to them, they’d be doing a better job anyway.

 We also originally had other segment ideas, but they didn’t quite work. They felt forced, and they didn’t feel like us.

 Now we had the format and felt confident enough to do the damn thing, we had to figure out how to get it up online. There are a few different podcast hosting sites but we ended up on SoundCloud for no real reason other than we had to pick one eventually. They all seem pretty similar to be honest and SoundCloud had a nice player and name recognition and Senaai had already used it for streaming. Why not?

 We record in Garage Band, which is fine and easy to use. I tried using it for editing but didn’t like it, then tried Audacity, which I liked even less. They’re okay programs and I would have worked them out eventually, but all the time using them I kept wishing they were more like Final Cut Pro, which I’ve used for video editing for ages now. Then I realised I could just use Final Cut to edit the podcast and everything would be so much easier. And it is. I don’t think it’s the most widespread option but it works for us. We even found a nice track for the intro and outro music sitting in the default Final Cut package.  

 The first few episodes we did were a bit dusty but I think they’ve improved each week. We’ve tinkered with the audio settings and worked out how to edit them better and developed a rhythm in our discussions. We try to include a short cold open and any bloopers after the main show, again not for any other reason than our own amusement. We’re not as smooth as radio DJs but that’s part of the charm. I think we’re making something worthwhile.

 We only get a handful of listeners each week at the moment but that doesn’t bother me in the slightest. It’s just fun to do something creative. I don’t care if we never get any listeners. I’ll do it as long as I have the time and still enjoy it.

 My parents don’t listen but Senaai’s have been big supporters. Our number one fan, though, is our friend Ben. He gives us weekly reviews and encouragement, even when he disagrees with our film reviews. If he’s the only one who listens, then at least we’re making somebody happy.

 It’s interesting listening to yourself back. You sound like an idiot a lot of the time. Senaai is very funny and clever of course, and it’s fascinating to try to understand her opinion on certain issues and films. Usually we’re on the same page but sometimes we couldn’t be further apart. Her thoughts on the representation of women (namely Harley in Suicide Squad) have added something to the show which is missing in a lot of film criticism. If anything, I just want people to see (hear) her the way I always do.

 Some episodes have been better than others. Sometimes we have more to talk about, either with our topic or with the movie. A few times, (Tickled, La La Land) the film has been so great we don’t want to say anything at all, we just want people to see it. La La Land actually received its own emergency podcast recorded and uploaded the morning after we saw it because we loved it so much. Other times we can’t shut up about how much we enjoyed it. Sometimes the annoying topic really gets our blood up, but usually it’s just something silly like consuming choc tops in the cinema or the old woman in our unit complex who takes our bins out without asking. We usually have the most to say when the film is particularly awful or the topic especially irritating.

 Of course we’re very lucky to be able to complain about such trivial matters on a podcast while we live in the safest country in the world. Even in our most serious episodes, with topics like Brexit and Trump, we’ve been at least a step or two removed from the fallout. Hell, we’re actually lucky to go to the movies so much.

 Some things have been strange. For some reason, our review of Swiss Army Man has received many more listens than any other episode. I’m not really sure why, but it was a pretty good movie. SoundCloud tells me we get listens from all over the world, but I’m not sure how legitimate some of them are. We’ve got a good product, but we haven’t been able to really take off yet. We hooked up with the Byron Bay Film Festival to review some of their films but nothing really came of it. We’ll see what happens. The aim isn’t to be famous, but it would be nice if more people heard the show.

 It’s been tough sometimes getting an episode up every week, but we haven’t missed one yet. I’m proud of that. We stay on top of things by recording a few shows at a time, stockpiling them in case we can’t see a movie every week. It means sometimes we review a movie a few weeks after it comes out, but you know, Ben doesn’t seem to mind and he’s our only regular listener.

 We have ideas for spin off podcasts, if we ever get the time. We’ve already expanded the I Only Like You ‘brand’ to a YouTube channel, where we’re making short film style vlogs.

Maybe it’ll lead somewhere to a bit of cash, maybe one day it’ll be self-sustaining. But until then, it’ll probably just be something fun for us to do. Maybe a couple people like it. And that’s all that matters.

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

Hate

There is a lot of hate in the world. You don’t need me to tell you that. Look anywhere and you will see it. It’s always been that way, but I think it is getting marginally better.

 I mean, my grandparents grew up during World War Two, which was a famously not-good time. My parents were still alive during the White Australia policy and lived through the end of the Cold War. Even homosexuality was still considered a crime in some parts of Australia in my lifetime.

 So in a lot of different ways things are better than before. But in the face of Trump and Hanson 2.0, the alt-right and any internet comment section anywhere, things couldn’t look worse.

 But I don’t know. I try to do the right thing but it all seems pretty hopeless. I’m not sure, overall, that people are good at heart. But I do think they have the capacity to be.

 I’ve recently listened to some of Wil Anderson’s podcast, “Wilosophy”, which is pretty fantastic. I especially recommend Jane Caro’s episode, and I recommend her being in charge of everything. I’ve thought about how I might answer Wil’s question to his guests – “what is your philosophy?”

 Apart from the obvious “watch all the movies that you can” I’ve had to give it a lot of thought. I didn’t grow up with religion to guide my beliefs and in fact, actively avoided it once I was old enough. But I did watch plenty of TV and honest to God, I think that left a bigger impact on my moral viewpoints than any Sunday sermon.

 So to answer Wil’s question, I think I’d answer in a few ways. First, you should always try to do the right thing, which sounds a lot easier than it really is. You’ll screw up, but at least you have to try. If we all leave things a bit better than we found them, then things wouldn’t be so bad, would they?

 But the most important thing I’ve realised lately is this – everyone is doing the best with what they’ve got. And everyone is affected by limited time and access. This can be applied to just about everything, but I think it’s most pertinent in regard to the whole hate thing I started this piece about.  

 So while I don’t doubt there are some people who know better but still continue to peddle their particular form of hatred, I’d wager more people out there are simply working with the best information and empathy they can muster with the time they can devote to certain issues and the level access they are granted.

 As an example, if all working class white people in Australia had the time and access to refugees, I doubt they’d approve of our country’s approach to border control. And I’m sure they’d find that Muslims are just people like you and me.

 The same goes for climate change. If everyone started with the same knowledge base, I doubt so many of us would choose to doubt 99% of scientists.

 But not everyone has the time to meet with asylum seekers or the capacity to understand complicated science. And when you’re struggling to feed your kids and have never met a gay person, it can be hard to worry about something like same-sex marriage. And I’m not perfect. I see it myself – sometimes I just have to switch off from all news because the stress of my personal life can’t handle the latest crisis here or overseas.  

 If time and access were unlimited, wouldn’t we all be better people? There would always be disagreements, but at least they’d be from a nuanced, legitimate position.

 But that’s not going to happen is it? At the very least, you can start to see why some people are the way they are when you realise they’re just doing their best.

 I’m not sure it’s much of a philosophy. I don’t think it covers everything, or if it even helps. If you can begin to understand hate, then maybe that’s a good first step. I’m heartened by history, by the fact that things usually seem to work out in the end. Even if there’s a lot of hate along the way, always.

 To me, it’s not so important that good always conquers evil – it’s that good exists at all.

[littlethoughtsandfeelings]

The Bachelorette Australia Recap S2 E3

Sweeping shots of the mansion. Weird regal music. Bros being bros, talking about the importance of having a single date. Just casual Bro-Chat that I’m sure all bros definitely talk about with other bros. Do you guys get yet that they’re all bros? ‘Cause they totally are.

Osher arrives and does his peace-sign-hello again. Osher, you are not a tourist or in the 70s. Spoiling the suspense, Osher reveals it’s a single date card, and skips away (did that really just happen? Or did I imagine it? I think he skipped away…).

Keep reading

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

My girlfriend is recapping The Bachelorette. She’s amazing and everyone should read it. 

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

Money and Jobs

So why can’t I just get money? Why won’t people just give me a job, or better still, a big fat advance on a script?

 The world isn’t that simple is the answer. Nobody is owed anything and you need to work hard to have a decent life.

 I get that. But I do find it wrong, still, that it costs money to be alive. Or in other words, you have to pay not die. I understand the social contract and that we’re all in this together and this is the way the world works and whatever. But it still seems unfair somehow. Unnatural.

 You could get through life without paying a cent, I suppose. You could live on the streets and grow your own food from donated seeds and sneak into movies and read the paper in the library. Or you could just quit completely and live in a forest and eat grass, not seeing anyone ever. Or you could see how long you last on Centrelink.

 But that’s not how life is set up. And it doesn’t seem like much of a life.

 And I don’t want something for nothing. I would love to work hard at a job. I just can’t find anybody to give me the chance.

 That comes with being a creative professional, sure, but I can’t even get a non-creative job. I’m skilled but not experienced for the creative jobs and unskilled and not experienced again for the non-creative work out there.

 It is certainly a quandary. Maybe nobody will hire me because I use words like quandary.

 I am confident things will work out eventually. I’m not despondent yet and I have the safety net of family and government. I have some projects on the go that might lead, with luck, lead somewhere too.

 But things don’t just work out by themselves. People need to do things to make things work eventually.

 People need to give me money.  

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

Inevitably

I recently read The Killing Season Uncut, Sarah Ferguson’s behind the scenes book about the TV show of the same name. It was a brilliant program that detailed the tumultuous 2007-2013 Labor government and all the associated leadership drama down here in Australia. I was a bit disappointed in the book actually because I thought it just went through the same timeline and facts and interviews of the show, and didn’t really have that much behind the scenes information to warrant a whole book.

 Anyway, something that really struck me was Julia Gillard’s comments about securing minority government in 2010; that it wasn’t inevitable that she would become Prime Minister, she actually had to work incredibly hard to secure the support of the independents to form government. It wasn’t inevitable, and I'm sure we all know that, but I don’t think we give it enough credit.

 I’m also fascinated to discover how successful people get to where they are in life – where and what they studied, where they worked, where they lived, how they got the lucky break. I love these stories, mainly I think because I’m still starting out in my life and career so it’s interesting and helpful to see how other people have done it. And of course, since I’m attempting to carve a creative career, it’s heartening to see how many different ways different artists have ‘made it’. Success is not inevitable, you have to work at it, and again we all know that but we don’t really think about it.

 But that’s how things seem. Inevitable. We look at history in a broad sense and people’s lives and careers and it’s easy to think that what transpired was the only possible option, and then make so many observations based off that.

 This year Malcolm Turnbull took a gamble on clearing out the senate with a double dissolution election, but he’s ended up with one even more unmanageable. So it was easy to say afterwards what a mistake this was, but I remember at the time many commentators saying what a brave and clever move it was. And maybe it could have been. It was never inevitable that it happened this way just like it was never inevitable that Gillard won in 2010.

 And when the careers of successful people are written about, there is always an air of inevitability. Like it was fine they worked dead end jobs for twenty years because they ended up on TV eventually or they made all the right career moves because ultimately they became CEO. And of course that’s never the case. You have to extraordinarily hard and have many lucky breaks to become successful. I'm sure a lot of people who didn’t ‘make it’ didn’t think that was inevitable. Every decision you make affects the inevitably of your life.

 I don’t really know what I'm trying to say here. Something about how the future is what we make of it. I guess I'm just scared looking at America and Donald Trump. It’s not inevitable that he becomes President but it’ll certainly look that way if he does. And I guess I'm worried looking at my own future. It’s certainly not inevitable that I get where I want to.

 But not inevitable that I don’t.

PS I didn’t include this initially but thought it was worth adding. I bought The Killing Season Uncut at a book signing and talk that Sarah Ferguson gave. Because she had to leave straight after the talk, she was signing copies beforehand and my girlfriend and I got caught up in the thrill of everything and decided to get her to sign a copy. We’re not usually the sort of people to do that (hell, we’re not the sort of people to buy a new book full price) and we were very nervous meeting her and didn’t really say anything. Sarah picked up that we were feeling weird and didn't say much back to us. She spelt my girlfriend’s name wrong but we were too polite to tell her and it was all very embarrassing. When it came to her actual talk, my girlfriend and I stood at the back of the busy bookstore but before she started, Sarah pointed out some seats near the front we hadn’t seen and she made us walk through the whole place to go sit at them. Look, it wasn’t our best night but she spoke well and I’m glad we went. 

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

I Guess I’m Becoming a Trekker Then

When it comes to movies and TV, I’m nothing if not a completionist. As I’ve mentioned before on here, I don’t consider myself a fan of something until I’ve seen a good chunk of it. I just don’t want to be considered to be jumping on the bandwagon if it’s a popular show and I’ve only seen a couple episodes. Give me at least a couple seasons or a movie or two, if it’s a franchise, before I can really feel like a well-informed fan. Because what’s the point in being a fan if you’re not well informed?

 I also tend to go through phases. For a while everything’s Star Wars then it’s Batman then it’s Doctor Who then it’s X-Men etc etc. Usually it aligns with what new pop culture movie is out I suppose. My girlfriend despairs of me. For example, a couple years ago I went through a Clint Eastwood phase, which led into a more general Western phase, especially the work of Sergio Leone. I seriously contemplated buying a poncho and learning to ride a horse. Then out of nowhere something else comes along and replaces it. While my obsession with Clint and Westerns was fairly intense for a stage there, now it’s calmed down and is probably around the same level as perennial favourites like Harry Potter or Morrissey. They each resurface at opportune moments but they’re always there. Some drift away if the product gets shit or I grow out of it (funnily enough, both things happened to Doctor Who) but usually they’re all there waiting for me to return.

 It’s a strange way to like things and I'm not sure if other people live like this. But it’s the way I do things. I just like liking things. I want to experience everything.

 As you might expect, wanting to be considered a true fan (and having to experience as much of a product as possible) and having so many different things to watch and going through phases and only have 24 hours in a day makes everything really hard to handle. Just yesterday I saw someone on Twitter joke about being sent to prison just so they could catch up on all their reading. Hook me up with a DVD player and you’ve got a deal. Although I do have a lot of reading to do as well. How long as we talking here? (Obviously prison is bad etc but still. Makes you think).  

 Anyway I’ve been thinking about this recently because I made a grave mistake. I watched an episode of the original Star Trek series and loved it. I never really saw any Star Trek when I was a kid; it just wasn’t big in my family. But I did like the rebooted movies and there’s a new one out this week, which looks pretty great. I loved Boston Legal growing up so I have a soft spot for William Shatner (especially young and handsome) and Leonard Nimoy is a sweetheart. And bloody Netflix has to be great and have all the TV shows and some of the movies. And I’ve got to have bloody uni start next week. It’s a perfect storm.

 How much do I have to watch before I can be considered a Trekker? Or is it Trekkie still? I’m guessing at least most of the original series and associated movies and some of the Patrick Stewart era? Man, I’m only two episodes in. Do I have to learn Vulcan to be accepted? Read some tie-in books? I think there’s an Xbox game that looks all right? Should I play it too? I don’t know which movies we’re supposed to hate yet. What if I like the wrong one? Are all the TV shows worth it or can I just stick to the big two? Why are we here on Earth at all, if not to watch pictures on a screen? Can I juggle Star Trek and my other obsessions? Who are the Borg?!

 Guess I’m here for the long haul. If I was a bigger fan I’d feel more comfortable making a joke about beginning my five-year journey to explore new worlds. But the fact I had to look up the exact saying probably proves I’m not a true fan. Yet.

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

Origin

There’s always those brief three seconds after Queensland loses where I consider if life is truly worth living. I snap out of it pretty quickly, and it must be said that in this regard the last ten years have been pretty sweet. I was pretty cantankerous for a while in 2014 but I’ve generally been pretty happy over the years. Don’t even get me started on the grand final last year though – I still can’t watch the replays.

 It’s weird how much people can identify with a sporting team. For State of Origin, the team you support is usually just down to luck. I’m a Queenslander through no fault of my own. But I genuinely do feel a connection with my team. In my eyes they’re all champions and lovely young men. The Blues, on the other hand, are all bastards and I hate them. Now that’s not true at all – though I do feel real animosity for New South Wales this time of year. Take any player and swap their jersey and I’d think the total opposite. Except for Luke Lewis, I’ve always thought he was a great guy and I doubt I’d ever appreciate Andrew Fifita. And I could never really work out Dave Taylor for us.

 While we (how easily I use we) lost the third game this year, it didn’t really matter. The series was wrapped up and you can’t blame the team for not treating it with as much intensity. They had no right to get so close to a win given the circumstances against them during the game. But New South Wales won and you’d think would be better for it next year. As much as I’d love to beat them 3-0 every year, I had to admit it’s more exciting and better for the game if there’s some competition. I do wonder if a last grasp win in a dead rubber might disguise some of New South Wales’ problems this year. Maybe if they were absolutely smashed, they’d be forced to make some real changes. Now they can tell themselves they weren’t that far off.

 And let’s be frank, New South Wales were pretty close this year. If Josh Morris gets that try in the first match or Michael Jennings doesn’t knock on late in game two, well things might be different. But, along the same lines, the Andrew Fifita try could have easily gone the other way, and any other night of the year Johnathan Thurston kicks the goals he missed. So it’s impossible to play the ‘what if’ game. The only reality we know is the one we have. And in that one, while Queensland still plays so well, life is still worth living.        

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

Six Seasons and My Favourite Thing

There was a time in my life where Community was my favourite thing in the world. I was halfway through my last year of high school and dealing with all the stress and drama involved with that and my brother introduced me to this new show, Community. I was hooked right away – I still consider the pilot one of the best twenty minutes of TV I’ve ever seen. As silly as it sounds, something in the show really spoke to me. It was funny and well told but most of all it took risks and had heart. It’s a show about unlikely friendships and trying and failing and trying to be a better person. I came to Community, or it came to me, at the exact right time. It was a bright spot in an otherwise hectic period.

 The rest if my family were hooked as well (apart from Dad, but what does he know?) It was a nice throwback to the Golden Age of TV when families would bond over a TV show. Mum even bought us all Community merchandise for Christmas one year. Not every show is made for everyone but it still says something when a program can connect to people of different ages and interests. You know, I don’t think Mum understood all the pop culture references but she loved Troy and Abed’s friendship and she was amazed at all the genre episodes, paintball especially.  

 My Community viewing habits changed over the years. Initially, I had access to the first two seasons so I happily worked through them at my leisure. Whenever I had a spare moment I had a new episode to watch – perfect for binging or pacing yourself. Usually binging though. There are too many great episodes to mention from these two seasons but Advanced Dungeons and Dragons exemplifies everything great about Community. It’s hard to go past A Fistful of Paintballs and For A Few Paintballs More too.

 I was still living at home and attending university around the corner when the third season aired. It became part of my routine to come home from a Friday morning lecture and download the latest episode, which would have aired not long before in the US. I’d watch it straightaway then more often than not I’d watch it again with Mum when she got home from work. Sometimes I’d watch it again that weekend as well, if it were a particularly good one. Remedial Chaos Theory still blows me away. Pillows and Blankets still holds up extremely well and Basic Lupine Urology might just be the show’s best-executed spoof.    

 The next year I moved away from home and changed universities. This made it a little harder to keep up with Season 4, not that there was much to write home about. With all the off screen drama and the changes in my personal life, Season 5 was just as tricky to keep up with, though an improvement. The pitch perfect David Fincher parody Basic Intergluteal Numismatics was a clear standout here but Cooperative Polygraphy also rates a mention.

 I have to admit that due to a whole variety of circumstances I only just caught up with Season 6. I feel like a bad fan, like I’ve failed Year 12 me, like I’ve disrespected a show that means so much to me. Of course that’s silly but still.  

 Perhaps poetically I was able to watch Season 6 like I did Seasons 1 and 2. Easy access to all at once, scheduling as I wanted. I tried to ration them over a week but in the end I overindulged on the second half of the season in one day. I know the later seasons get a bad rap and I understand why. Some of that initial spark is gone, and the easy equilibrium the first seasons had is put off balance by the cast changes (not to mention the behind the scenes drama). But it’s still Community. While Season 4 has its problems, Seasons 5 and 6 have more spark than a lot of shows out there. In fact, the poor episodes make the rest of the show even better in some ways – well actually, if not better, more lovable. It’s a show about imperfect people, it’s only fitting that it’s an imperfect product.

 From what I understand, Season 6 got pretty good reviews but it still didn’t compare as favourably with the early stuff. I kind of agree with that but I do think it was the best season since the third. While some episodes were stronger than others, the laugh out loud factor was as strong as ever. Frankie and Elroy were fantastic additions to the ensemble and were usually scored the best laughs – not something you usually say for new characters in a show’s final season. Maybe it’s how I watched the season, a couple of episodes at a time, that helped me enjoy it so much. A weaker joke or unexciting premise can be overtaken by something funnier quite quickly. When watching something week-to-week as it’s released it can be disappointing when you wait so long for just an okay episode. Again though, an ‘okay’ Community is still better than most things out there.

 Looking back now, I didn’t love the first half of the season. Well, no, I did enjoy it, I just didn’t think any of the episodes were real standouts. I didn’t care much for Britta’s parents and I’m not sure the premises, were as strong as previous seasons. But everything was still executed well. Harmon and co. know what they’re doing by now. And it was just nice seeing everyone again and seeing how Frankie and Elroy fit in so well. The last four episodes, however, were outright entertaining. And the finale, Emotional Consequences of Broadcast Television, well it just slayed me. A perfect ending.

 Like Abed says in that last episode, TV is comfort. That’s how I felt watching this season – comforted. It’s how I feel rewatching old episodes as well. Jeff, Annie, Troy, Britta, Abed, Pierce, Shirley, Chang, Duncan, The Dean and the rest of the school are like old friends.

 I watched the finale not knowing it was likely the last episode ever (there’s still talk about the movie – one day maybe). As I mentioned, I haven’t kept up to date with these last few years very well and I just assumed there was another season on its way. I wasn’t ready for something so confronting, so final. I’ve been an emotional wreck ever since. While watching it, I became like Jeff, desperate for it to continue in some way, any way. But like everything, it can’t go on forever and you’re just lucky you were there while it lasted. Even better with TV, it’s always there to go back and watch. It’s an old, comforting friend you can revisit anytime. The only consolation I have is that Dan Harmon has more time for Rick and Morty.

 As the show finished I was taken back to halfway through my last year of high school, almost exactly five years now, when my brother introduced me to this new show, Community. It came along just when I needed it. I’m not saying it saved my life or anything, but it made it a whole lot better. I appreciate Dan Harmon and everyone else so much for creating this wonderful thing.

 For a while it was my favourite thing in the world. As far as TV shows go, it’ll be hard to beat.  

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

The Cold

A Facebook friend once cursed the misguided decision by Allan Cunningham to discover the Darling Downs – not because it’s a bad place but because it just gets so damn cold in winter.

 I’m reminded of this observation every time I go home between about May and August. It must have been summer when the European explorers wandered through what would later become Toowoomba because there’s no way they’d build a city there in July. There are frostier parts of the country, hell even in Queensland there are places that snow, but there’s something about Toowoomba that makes it just so bitterly cold. I think it’s the wind and the rain. It’s a cold that shoots right into your bones. It’s impossible to shake the chill once it sets in.

 It doesn’t help either that a lot of the buildings here in Queensland aren’t built for the cold. I'm sure down south they build their homes accordingly but up here I suppose most of the emphasis is on the heat during summer. It makes sense of course because it does get bloody hot in this part of the world but it leaves places like Toowoomba out in the cold, as it were, come winter. Anyway those British settlers were probably used to worse weather. I do wonder how the indigenous people of the Darling Downs coped in winter – maybe by taking off to the coast around a fire. That’s what I do.

 I was very lucky that my childhood home has a fireplace. I spent a fair amount of my winters growing up learning how best to start a fire, keep it going and save it when it’s almost dead. It’s one of my favourite things to do now when I go home. This last week I was cat sitting while my parents were away and Kitty and I pretty much parked ourselves next to the fire all week. Me writing or tackling my pile of DVDs, Kitty on my lap. Not a bad way to live life.

 My parents don’t use the fire much anymore. They chuck on the reverse cycle air con or make a hot water bottle and go to bed. Kitty is like an extra hot water bottle and sticks pretty close to Mum. Partly they steer clear of the fireplace because it’s a bit of a hassle but I think it’s also something more – you don’t notice just how cold Toowoomba is until you leave.

 Sure I always knew it was a cold place growing up. But since moving away, every time I come back it the cold seems that much more potent. Last week I only went outside when absolutely necessary, which pretty much meant running outside quickly to stock up on wood for the fire. I considered cancelling plans with friends when they suggested we go out for dinner because the night air is killer. I had to be seriously desperate before I moved away from the fire, even for food or toilet breaks.

 This wasn’t how I was brought up! I could get around without socks and spent many windy days on sporting ovals taking photos. It never fazed me. Sure it was cold, but that’s just the way it was. Even now in Brisbane I can get around in shorts when my girlfriend has five layers on. She lived in Toowoomba for a few years but she still can’t handle it when we go back.

 Looking over this, it seems like I'm complaining about the cold. Here’s the thing though – I'm not. I actually love it. I’d have winter all year round if I could. I love all the winter stuff, making the fire, going to bed early, not going outside. Maybe it’s because of where I grew up or maybe it’s just me. And I suppose I have Allan Cunningham and friends to thank for that.    

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

Voting

There was a deaf couple ahead of me in the line to vote a few weeks ago. When asked which electorate they were from, the man held up a piece of paper with his name and other details. Naively, but not surprisingly, I’ve never given any thought to how a deaf person would deal with this scenario, and really, any other day-to-day interaction. Of course I know people deal with disability every day but I’ve never really thought deeply about it. I’ve never had to.

 All this got me thinking about how a blind person might vote, and all the other ways voting might be affected. The AEC website tells me that in Australia blind people can register to vote over the phone, with a special pin number as their confidential identification. Alternatively, they can go to a polling station and nominate someone else to help them – a friend, family member, anyone at all, as they’re not a running as a candidate in that electorate. And they can be helped with a postal vote before polling day.

 If a person can’t leave their car for whatever reason, a ballot may be brought to them. Mobile polling booths are set up for people who can’t easily travel to a polling booth on election day, like those in hospital, a nursing home or in remote areas. You can still vote in prison if your sentence is under three years, and you can be a silent elector, where your address is on the roll due to safety concerns.

 There’s a fascinating section of the website which details the exact circumstances where you can get away with not voting. You can’t just not vote because you don’t like any of your candidates. Well you can try, but it won’t hold up in court as a valid reason not to pay your fine. There are a whole bunch of cases on the website but essentially an acceptable excuse would be something extraordinary like coming across a fire on your way to the polling booth, stopping to help put it out and therefore missing the opening hours of the polling booth.

 In any case, the fine is only $20, and really, why the hell wouldn’t you vote? It’s an amazing privilege. I can’t imagine thinking “I could have helped decide the nation’s future but instead I drew a dick and balls.” It just seems irresponsible when so many electorates went down to the wire this election as well. Every dick and balls could have been the difference.

 Now maybe all these interesting voting facts aren’t so interesting to other people. Maybe it’s all common knowledge and I just missed that civics lesson in school. But to me they’re problems or at least situations that I never have to worry about. So to me, they’re not a problem, they’re invisible. I would have probably gone my whole life never even considering how a deaf person might vote. And that’s not my fault and it’s not anyone else’s either. Why would I need to think about it?

 It isn’t a stretch to extend my thoughtlessness to the problems lots of minority groups have. As a white guy in Australia, I’ve got it pretty good. I have my own difficulties but I'm healthy, I’ve got a university degree and a supportive family – statistically speaking, I’m going to be absolutely fine. Not everyone is so lucky.

 So I probably encounter a dozen situations a day where I benefit from things out of my control. Skin colour, gender, mental health – all things that don’t seem so important when you’re on top. This all makes me grateful for where I am in life but also eager to keep looking for what I can’t easily see.

 The election staff member who helped the deaf couple actually knew their son. Apparently they play bowls together. The guy could even sign a little. What a wonderful country we live in. Not perfect, but we’re getting there.  

[whatlonniethinksaboutthings]

Update on my life

Best movie I’ve seen in the last few months: Cop Land. Terrific urban western. Outstanding story and direction and what a performance by Sly.

 Best TV show I’ve been watching: Working my way through Daria with my girlfriend. I always liked it when I was little but I never really ‘got’ it. Now I'm in love with it. Has to be the best show about high school ever made. And what an antidote to every other teenage story.

 Things that are annoying me: Just generally bummed out by world events in 2016. Celebrity deaths, terror attacks, Tory bullshit everywhere. Not a lot to recommend about this year.

 Things that aren’t annoying me:  Well Queensland have won State of Origin so that’s always worth celebrating. And I was at the game, very lucky.

My girlfriend and I have found a nice safe place to live. Hasn’t always been that way recently.  

 Things that are worrying me: My uni course didn’t work out for first semester so that’s kind of derailed my entire career plan. Changed courses and looking for a job before Centrelink cuts off in November. If I can’t find anything by then, everything’s fucked.