As you know, I’ve always been a vivid dreamer. I can usually remember most of my dreams, sometimes having a difficult time separating them from reality. For example, there’s this recurring dream I’ve been having for a while now and it all started 6 and a half years ago. It was a warm day in September, and in this dream, I walked into the LGBT Center on FSU’s campus and ran into the most beautiful boy I had ever seen in my life. My breath caught somewhere between my chest and my mouth as I fumbled for the words to introduce myself. My knees were weak and my arms were heavy as I tried to muster the courage to say something, and I’m so glad I did.
The dream started off with me spending most nights with this boy, scared at the uncertainty of what the future had in store for us. I didn’t know if anything with this guy was meant to go anywhere, but I did know that I liked him. That adoration that grew inside me pushed aside any doubts I had, filling me with hope, and more importantly, happiness.
Flash forward a few months and we’re meeting each other’s parents for the first time, both of us considerably more freaked out than the parents appeared to be. And then the families confirmed what I had been thinking for a while: it wasn’t by chance that I had ran into this boy, this was meant to be.
More moments flashed by in a whirlwind of memories: Harry Potter World, moving in with Kasey, swimming in the waters of St. George by moonlight, moving across the country and saying goodbye to Florida, adopting the best dog a person could have, and finally, getting married. So many reasons to smile and so many reasons to be happy.
RJ, you took a hopeless boy and gave him hope again. You found me when I had almost given up, and gave me a new reason to smile. Looking back on the videos we’ve made, I’m reminded of all the laughs and tears we’ve shared. Every tear and every chuckle is precious to me. Looking forward, I’m excited and honored at the opportunity to share with you what you’ve already shared with me for the rest of our lives.
I promise to do whatever I can to breathe life into our dream the same way you breathe life into me. When you find yourself to be the victim of fate, I’ll do what I can to defend you. When you’re sick, I’ll bring you Nyquil and ramen, when you’re hungry, I’ll bring you Chipotle, when you’re sad, I’ll bring you Dobby, and when you’re happy, I’ll know my work is complete.
I would be a liar if I didn’t do everything I could to own my happiness, and that is you. You are my happiness. You are my reason. You are my purpose. You are my everything. I love you RJ Aguiar, for now and for always.
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