isn't life comical?

hi. I'm a flight attendant, and I'm obsessed with too many things. I'm very strange and depressed so that's cool.

[thegoodvybe]

[msnbcpundit]

REMEMBER SKIP-IT FROM THE 90’S

[apjvff]

my weapon of choice during school yard fights 

[almostvivian]

DnD campaign but the only weapons are 90′s toys @riskpig

[allisquish]

Distance weapon: those sky dancer propeller toys.

[riskpig]

I’ll allow it.

[sensitive-inferno]

I have but two words:

[durnesque-esque]

Are those a weapon or piece of armor?

[kaleymonster]

Party walks into the inn to rest and the pub looks like

[riskpig]

Perfection.

[medinaquirin]

@anotherspecter

[biglawbear]

I ride into battle on one of these

[bardicknowledgeblogger]

Animal Companions

[techcat]

Fresh combat

[themetaisawesome]

Monks have to use these

[ariassong]

Wizard’s Spell book

[ariassong]

Warlock Patrons

Archfey

Fiend

Celestial

Great Old One

The undying

[kalkris]

THE B A R D

[bardicknowledgeblogger]

It got better since I last saw it

[unfortunatelyimaginary]

This is so weird bc being born in 1997 I saw all these toys… old, dirty, and faded by the sun

it’s so weird to think of them as new and current toys rather than the relics of a bygone age

[youngalientype]

Fascinating

[haunted-meatsack]

Must try and make happen

[debravata]

Gillette: Men can be better.

Men:

[dialnfornoir]

The Big Sleep (1946)

[kaliskadyami-deactivated2018082]

[cinematicsymphony-deactivated20]

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

[greencarnations]

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:

do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”

go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury

if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.

look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”

the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.

works every time

[raspberryslut]

“sad little bug” is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING

[kaliskadyami-deactivated2018082]

[cinematicsymphony-deactivated20]

This is so accurate. At school, we literally have children who will watch our facial expressions to see if them falling is as bad as they think it might be.

[greencarnations]

CORRECT CHILD INJURY PROCEDURE:

do not react. at the most, maybe wince and go “ooooh”

go over to the child to assess panic level and severity of injury

if they’re like, dying, remain calm, but they’re probably not.

look them in the eye and ask, “you okay?” they will nod. possibly all teary-eyed. then ask, “are we gonna need to cut it off?”

the child is thrown off. if they giggle, you’re in the money. if they do not, put a bandaid on and do some sympathetic patting. they are probably a little teary. let the sad little bug sit out for a minute. they will quickly get bored.

works every time

[raspberryslut]

“sad little bug” is the cutest and most accurate term ive heard used to describe a child because sometimes bugs are kinda super cute sometimes bugs are really fucking annoying and sometimes bugs are downright TERRIFYING

[thehuglife]

This is my new favorite non threatening threat

[africanaquarian]

Oh wow Christmas is next Tuesday? I think this is the least I’ve cared about it my whole life

[imallaboutthefairytale-baby]

“I’ll see you later, brother.” 

[navalenigma-deactivated20150403]

aggressively southern gay

[neddietrix-deactivated20220618]

i want it

[midnight-femme-deactivated20201]

the cis are getting out of hand

[umblrgumblr-deactivated20201112]

fucking furries assigning their children fursonas before they’re even born

[casfucker]

i just had to add

[w0wls]

It hurts

[rar3kain]

when you’re kid turns out to be non binary 

[radfemstarbucks-blog]

Gender: Gun

[dar-draws]

Don’t be scared. I’m a shapeshifter too!

[tinotonatini]

[benfoldssweaters]

hey arnold was way too real

[ruinedchildhood]

[aeolus06]

Carpet Rodents

Just something for fun

[orwell]

The Cat’s in the Bag, Breaking Bad

[regolite]

[officialdavidduchovny]

[peachpitgirl]

what the fuck is this

[slowspinningredemption]

he loves shrimp