What To Put On Your Face

Skincare and makeup advice for tired grown ups by Kath Barbadoro About this blog <><><><> Let me help you var sc_project=11212071; var sc_invisible=1; var sc_security="4539bba5"; var scJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://secure." : "http://www."); document.write("");

[whattoputonyourface]

Quit Whining and Wash Your Face!

A lot of times people will say to me, Kath!! I literally don't do anything to my face ever! How can I fix it??

Obviously you could follow a 9 million step skincare routine like I do, but going from zero to sixty like that is probably untenable for most people and your skin might freak out from all those new products anyway. Then you won't know which specific one is causing problems and you'll have a whole new mess of shit to figure out. What I normally tell skin care newbies is threefold:

1. Wash your face. 2. Moisturize. 3. Wear sunscreen.

Sure, there's acids and retinols and snake venom and snail slime and all that shit, but that's really just the seasoning on the meat and potatoes of cleansing, moisturizing, and protecting. If you don't know where to start, start here. I'm going to write a post on each of these three steps in more detail to help you out.

First up: Wash your damn face!

I can't tell you how many people tell me about their skin complaints, about all of the expensive products they've purchased to try to clear their acne or brighten their complexion, all while admitting to me they sleep in their makeup or don't wash their face. GUYS. None of that stuff is going to do any good if you aren't keeping your skin clean. Not washing your face can cause acne, of course, but even if you don't get zits, all the expensive products you put on your face aren't going to absorb properly or be effective if you're just smearing them on top of the layer of dirt, oil, and general gunk that your face accumulates (and produces) during the day. It's good to wash your face in the morning, too, especially if you get oily overnight, but it's less important than washing it at night. So I'm sorry. There's no getting around it. If you want good skin you have to wash your face. Every single night if you can (I'm not going to pretend I'm perfect here, but I can count the amount of times I've fallen asleep in my makeup in the past year on one hand). Here's how to do it and what to use.

If you wear makeup and/or sunscreen, or even if you just have oily skin, you need to double cleanse.

"Double Cleansing" is the technique of using an oil based cleanser or makeup remove to remove oil based debris (including makeup, lotion, and sunscreen), followed by a water based cleanser to remove all the other stuff, as well as any residue left behind from the first cleanse. Typically, first cleansers tend to be rich and creamy, and second cleansers tend to be "soapier".

I hear you lazy people already getting exhausted by this. I get it. But you want to have a clean canvas for all the stuff you're gonna put on your skin after you clean it, you know? Especially if you live in a dirty city like I do, you're gonna want to get as much of the day's gunk off as you can. Cleansing twice ensures that happens. Some people just use a makeup wipe or micellar water as their first cleanse, and I guess that's fine if you're in a rush or traveling or something, but if you're not pressed for time, I really recommend two full face washes. It really doesn't take longer than maybe 90 seconds. Of course, cleansing twice with the wrong cleansers could be super stripping to your skin, so it's important to pick the right products.

About first cleansers

Usually, anything labeled a "cleansing oil", "cleansing balm", or "cleansing jelly" is going to be a first cleanser. These products feel like a liquid or solid oil (ie, coconut oil) when applied, but when mixed with water, they emulsify to rinse away clean. You use these cleansers by applying to dry skin, massaging to break up your makeup (or whatever you have on your face), and then rinsing with water. Some examples of first cleansers I like include Banila Clean It Zero, Heimish All Clean Balm, and my favorite, Botanic Farm Grain Ferment Cleansing Sherbet. I tend to like balm consistency cleansers, but anything marketed as a "cleansing oil" would probably be fine as well. I've heard good things about this one, for example.

About second cleansers

Second cleansers are what you skincare newbies are probably more familiar with as your average stereotypical Western face washes. Look for second cleansers that are appropriately ph balanced, between 4.5 and 7, ideally around 5.5 or so. I've talked on this blog about the importance of using appropriately ph balanced products on the skin before. Basically, anything that's out of this range, particularly anything that is too alkaline (as most bar soap and many shittier face washes tend to be), is going to disrupt your acid mantle and strip your skin of its natural protection from the elements. If your skin feels "tight" after cleansing, chances are you're using something that is out of the appropriate ph range. Here is a helpful list of skincare products and their tested ph levels. (two notes here: 1. oils don't have a ph, only water based things do, so you don't have to worry about this with first cleansers. 2. some acid treatments tend to have ph levels outside this range, which is fine, because they're acids and they need to be at that ph level to work. But that low ph is part of why acids can sometimes irritate the skin.The more you know!) Any face wash that falls within the appropriate ph range that agrees with you will probably be fine. The two I use are Cerave Hydrating Cleanser and, if I'm feeling fancy, the Sum:37 Miracle Rose Cleansing Stick. I've also heard good things about this Gel Cleanser that is very reasonably priced.

I know it's insane that I linked to multiple 30 dollar face cleansers in this piece. You don't have to spend that much to get good products. But I've found the key to making sure I actually wash my face every single night is making it a pleasurable experience rather than a neutral one. So I spend a little extra getting products I really enjoy using, so I can feel like I'm having a little spa time before I get into bed instead of just doing a chore. Trick your brain into liking it if you can, because you have to do it! I'm sorry! Them's the facts!

[whattoputonyourface]

A Quick Tip For Sluts

Hey everybody, I'm working on a longer post right now, but I wanted to share a quick tip inspired by a conversation I just had with my roommate: what do you do when you're sleeping over at somebody's house and he (let's be real, it's probably a he) doesn't have any skincare products?

You're out of luck in the bathroom, so go check his kitchen! Get some kind of oil - olive oil is probably your safest bet, but any kind of oil will work. Rub the oil on your face to break up your makeup/sunscreen/grime, then use his face wash or shower gel (I'm assuming he at least has one of these, right? If he only has hand soap or super scented axe stuff, you're probably best off just using water instead) to wash off the oil. When you're done, assuming he doesn't have moisturizer (why dont dudes ever have moisturizer?), put a thin layer of the oil back on. Voila! You won't get zits and you'll smell like a delicious mediterranean meal.

[whattoputonyourface]

Some things that will help your skin if it ever gets cold again

When I moved to New York a few months ago after 7 years in Austin, I eagerly anticipated experiencing the seasonal changes of the Northeast. I remembered the clear, crisp fall days of my youth in New Hampshire. The changing leaves. Bonfires. Hay rides. All that yankee candle bullshit. Folks, to say I've been disappointed is an understatement.

The one good thing about this unseasonable (or rather, increasingly seasonable, given weather prediction patterns) warmth is that I've had time to prepare for the damage cold weather does to my skin. There's a few reasons skin tends to get drier and more irritated in the winter - for one, there is less ambient humidity in winter, because cold air holds less moisture than warm air (IDK why. Ask a meterologist), which means moisture is going to get sucked out of your skin more quickly. Secondly, people in cold climates tend to use forced air heating systems to heat their homes in winter, which adds to the dryness indoors (imagine how your skin would feel if you blew a hairdryer on your face for awhile. That's basically what forced air heating does).

Here's some stuff you can do to save your skin from its chapped, dry, irritated winter fate.

1. (duh, sorry) KEEP DRINKING WATER. I know this is a shitty tip because it's soooo boring and it's also on every list of skincare tips in the universe. I'm sorry! I'm including it here in particular because people tend to drink less water when it's cold out, since we don't tend to sweat as much. But the main reason your skin freaks out in the winter is because it's dehydrated. Therefore: hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. From within and from without.

2. USE A HUMIDIFIER. A good humidifier can be lifechanging. Not only to your skin. If you tend to wake up with a scratchy throat and dry, itchy eyes, it's probably because you're sleeping somewhere with a low level of ambient humidity. I'm telling you, waking up is 10 times easier when I have a good humidifier. Plus, you can put essential oils in them and make your bedroom feel like a fancy spa. As far as your skin goes, this again will aid in keeping you soft and hydrated and counteract some of that forced heat that's going to be blowing on you all night.

3. USE MORE OILS AND SKIN PROTECTANTS. These become extra important in the winter. The reason your skin loses moisture is because the dry air is drawing it out of your skin. You need to use stuff that creates a protective barrier between your (hopefully) hydrated face and the cold, harsh world around it. Yes, even if you're oil prone. Don't be afraid to try some heavier oils this time of year, especially at night, when nobody cares if you're shiny. For daytime, a nice, light oil like camellia or marula can still be really helpful in locking that moisture in. I am also a big fan of paw paw ointment, which is probably just vaseline but whatever. Vaseline is also good for this, especially on your lips.

4.USE EXTRA HYDRATION LAYERS. So obviously, you should be hydrating your skin year round. We've discussed this. But in the winter, you really need that extra moisture boost. If you don't want to buy extra products, I recommend applying an extra layer or two of your hydrating product after the first layer(s) have absorbed and before you put your oil or skin protectant over it. This is similar to the Korean Seven Skin Method, where you apply 7 layers of hydrating toner in a row. That seems a little like overkill to me, but hey, if you have time, knock yourself out. I've recommended this in basically every blog post but this is a great, inexpensive product that provides simple hydration, if you're looking for one, but really anything labeled a "serum" or "essense" is going to work great in this step. If you have additional skincare ingredients you like (apart from acids or w/e), using an essense/serum with those ingredients and a lot of hyaluronic acid would be a great choice. A couple layers of a hydrating product, followed by a simple moisturizer like cerave, and a couple drops of oil should do wonders for your winter skin.

[whattoputonyourface]

A Brief Guide to Skin Care MLMs and Skin Care Marketing Terms

Lately I've been fascinated by multi level marketing companies, as it seems like everybody's hawking shit to their old high school aquaintances on facebook these days. Multi level marketing companies (also called "network marketing" or "direct selling" companies) are those product lines - amway is a classic example, and herbalife is one that's been in the news lately - that are juuuust a hair away from being an illegal pyramid scheme, but are nontheless allowed to prey on vulnerable people looking for a way to make some extra scratch (95% of people who sell for an MLM end up losing money. Seriously, don't do it). But anyway, a lot of these companies are makeup and skincare related - younique, mary kay, avon, arbonne, rodan + fields, and nuskin are some examples off the top of my head.

Because these products are often sold by people with very little education in makeup or skin care, and because independent consultants tend to be less likely to be held accountable for inaccurate product claims, a lot of what gets said in the selling of these products is just flat out not true. As a blanket disclaimer - I've never seen any skin care or makeup product that was available through a multi level marketing company that was worth the money, and most don't do what they claim to at all. Even the few that do work usually don't work as well as they claim, and if they do, you can get a cheaper version of the product from a non-scammy company. If you have any questions about a particular MLM, ask me. I have opinions (most of them negative).

Thinking about MLMs and their outlandish product claims got me thinking about how sleezy skin care marketing is even in the non MLM world. Most of the terms used to advertise skincare products are totally unregulated and therefore anyone can use them to describe any product. The FDA regulates a few skin care items as drugs - for example, anything with an SPF rating, or intended to stop acne, is evaluated by the FDA before it can be sold. Some products with high concentrations of chemical exfoliants are also considered drugs. However, most other skin care items are considered cosmetics and are not subject to the same stringent FDA regulation. You can read more about this on the FDA's website, which is surprisingly informative and (to me, maybe because I'm a weirdo) kind of interesting!

Anyway, because of the lack of regulation, a lot of the marketing terms used for skincare (particularly things like face washes and moisturizers, which are almost always considered cosmetics) are pretty meaningless. If they're not regulated, they can pretty much claim to be whatever they want to be, as long as they don't explicitly claim to do any of the things the FDA regulates for. I'm gonna go through a couple, but there are plenty more where these came from.

"Natural"/"Organic"/"Plant Derived"/"Botanical" etc: Another thing that inspired me to write this post is the company LUSH. A lot of people love LUSH. That's fine! But in my opinion, most of their stuff isn't worth the price, and some of it is downright bad for your skin. The main problem I have with them (apart from their aggressively friendly sales associates) is that they use a TON of fragrance in their products and lots of citrus oils, both of which can be irritating to the skin. A lot of LUSH fans defend these criticisms by pointing out that LUSH is a "natural beauty company". For one, that's not really true if you look at their ingredient lists - lots of their products include ingredients that are not considered "natural" even by other companies who use this term, like parabens and sodium laureth sulfate. But there are some larger problems with the "natural" label. For one, "natural" is an absolutely arbitrary category anyway - what counts as "natural"? If an ingredient is plant derived but involves the use of a synthetic solvent in an extraction process, is that ingredient no longer "natural"? What about an identical analog to a botanical product that is synthesized in a lab? You might have your own answers to these questions, but skin care and beauty companies can come up with different ones. It's a totally unregulated term. Secondly, skin care being "natural" doesn't really speak to its quality anyway. Urushiol, the chemical in poison ivy that causes a rash, is also a "plant derived organic botanical extract" or whatever. It doesn't mean it's good for your skin. On the other hand hyaluronic acid is pretty much always synthesized in a lab, and it's one of the best things you can put on your face.

"Chemical Free": This one makes even less sense. Water is a chemical! I'm assuming we all took chemistry in high school - this really shouldn't fool adults. Somehow it does anyway.

"Oil free": This one was really big in the 90s, when everyone, especially teenagers, was supremely oil-phobic. Nobody wanted oily skin, so why would you ADD oil to your face on purpose? Well, hopefully if you've read this blog, you'll know that it doesn't quite work like that. Oil is actually a great skin protectant, and using oil on your face can actually decrease excessive oil production in the skin. Plus, like dissolves like, so oil is the absolute best way to remove greasy buildup and makeup. If you feel you are TRULY a greaseball, you can try a moisturizer in gel form during the day when you don't want to be shiny, but there's no need to seek out "oil free" products in particular.

"PH Balanced": This one might throw you, given how much I talk about the importance of Ph in skincare. However, when a product declares itself "Ph Balanced", that doesn't necessarily mean it's Ph balanced appropriately to match your skin's Ph, or that it's been formulated to have the Ph that allows its ingredients to be most effective. Instead, it may mean that the Ph of the product is 7 - which is considered "neutral" or "balanced" because it's in the middle of the Ph scale, the Ph of water. But, as we've talked about, the Ph of the skin should be lower than that (about 5.5), and the Ph required for certain skincare ingredients (ie, Vitamin C, BHA, and AHA) to work is even lower. Something with a ph of 7 is not going to do your skin any particular favors.

"Preservative Free"/"Paraben Free": Look, some people are going to argue with me about this, but ultimately, you want preservatives in your skin care. Otherwise that fancy "all natural" moisturizer you paid for is gonna get moldy in like a week. Preservatives are good! Usually if a brand claims to be "preservative free" it means they're using some kind of food grade preservative like potassium sorbate or something. If there's water in the product, it MUST have a preservative, or it's worthless (the exception are things like those little masks the afforementioned LUSH sells, which ar emeant to be refrigerated and used within a few days. For the record, those masks aren't as bad as the rest of their products). The main preservative class everybody gets freaked out about is parabens, because there's some indication that they could be carcinogenic. I'm of the opinion that they're fine (I'm probably exposed to many more carcinogenic things in much higher quantities than the little bit that's in my moisturizer), but you can do your own research if that's something you're concerned about. Beware, though - sometimes in an effort to remove parabens from their products, companies will end up using preservatives that show evidence of being even MORE harmful. And again, even claims of "paraben free" aren't regulated stringently.

[whattoputonyourface]

Contouring and Highlighting vs Kontouring and Kylighting

In talking to my makeup-wearing friends, it's come to my attention that a lot of them, even the ones who never leave the house without a full face, the ones are known on a first name basis at their local sephoras, are still wary of contouring.

Contouring is the technique of emphasizing the shadows created by your natural bone structure with makeup. It's most associated with the heavily-done rainbow of flesh tones that comprise the signature Kardashian Family Look, and with stage makeup, so I understand why it scares people. It can be pretty intense, and if you get some of the details wrong, it can age your face, make your skin look ashy, or just look plain bizarre. Another main objection I hear from people is that it takes too much time or makes your makeup look too heavy.

But personally, I'm a contouring evangelist. It needn't add more than a minute or two to your makeup routine, and if you have the right products, it can really help shape your face if that's something you want. You don't need to be wearing a full Kardashian face in order to benefit from a little bit of shading.

I'm also a big fan of some strategic, though sparing, use of highlighter on the high points of the face. Highlighter is very "on trend" right now and I feel a lot of self made social media makeup gurus tend to overuse it - unless you have perfect skin, highlighter can draw attention to texture on the face, or make you look like a greaseball instead of youthful and dewy.

If I have foundation on, I always do some contouring and highlighting as well. Foundation makes your skin color completely uniform and can change the way light hits your face. Adding some shading and lighting back to the low and high points of your face, respectively, can help make your makeup look more natural, your face look slimmer and younger, your skin more radiant, and your bone structure stronger. I'm going to go through how I contour and highlight in pictures to give you an idea of a light, natural contour that's barely noticeable but makes a big difference in how your overall makeup look is received. These extra steps take no more than 2 or 3 minutes - I do my entire face of makeup in about 15 minutes tops.

First, here's my face with just primer and foundation on it.

Pretty much just a structureless blob, right? Let's fix that.

Here's a picture of the contour powder I use, which is NYX blush in taupe. You can contour with cream products as well (a lot of times super glam drag or Kardashian makeup look will include both a cream contour product and a powder contour product to set the cream, but that's pretty intense), but I find for a subtle look, just using a powder is fine.

To pick a contour powder, keep in mind what you're doing here: you're basically drawing shadows onto your face. Therefore, you're going to want something darker than your skin tone (should be self explanatory), matte (it's a shadow: don't put glitter or sparkle on there. Those things are meant to catch light), more cool toned than warm toned (shadows don't have warmth to them. Something darker than your skintone with a warm undertone would look more like a bronzer than a contour - you don't want those weird orangey streaks on your cheekbones, those don't look like shadows. Although, if you have darker skin or very warm toned skin, you might want to err more on the side of neutral than cool, because cool tonescan make your skin look ashy).

Since I have a pretty serious double chin, that's an area where I contour most heavily. I also add a touch of color under my cheekbones, making sure to stay in the outer part of my face - don't bring your contour too far into the center of your face under your cheekbones, as it can look unnatural and make you look older than you are. Some people go wild and contour their forehead and the sides of their nose to make their face appear smaller and their nose thinner. I don't think my face really needs that and it can add to the Made Up Glamazon type of look, so I usually skip it, but you can give it a shot if that's what makes your face look best. You want to make sure you're blending well but only in the location you want the pigment - don't go nuts and buff it out too much or you'll end up with dark pigment in a place that wouldn't naturally have a shadow, and that looks weird. For my face, I blend my chin contour down into my neck, and my cheek contour up and out toward my ears.

People often say that to find your cheekbones, you should suck in your cheeks and make a fish face, and then contour in the hollow that your mouth make. However, I find that this makes your contour too low (which again can make you look old), and encourages you to bring it in too close to your mouth, since that's where the hollows are most pronounced. Honestly, the easiest way to find where your cheekbones are is to just press your thumb into the side of your face, about perpendicular to the middle of your ear. Feel that hard part? Feel where that hard part stops? That's where your contour should go, right under the hard part.

Here's what those funny lines look like blended in, along with a little bit of blush.

See how much more dimension my face has than it did in the first picture? And it's not intense or noticeable at all, I just look a little bit... better.

So that's the hard part. Highlighting is comparatively easy. I wait until I have all of my makeup finished to highlight, and then I just put three little dots of my liquid highlighter onto the tops of my cheekbones and the bridge of my nose and blend them in with a beauty blender. If you're using a powder product, the placement is the same. Either way, just be sure you blend really well. Personally, I like more of a "sheen" than a chunky glitter highlight, as I feel glitter can accentuate texture. The one I'm using is benefit high beam.

And that's it! Once everything is blended together, It looks pretty natural. Here's the finished product after a 20 minute walk to the subway.

[whattoputonyourface]

Sometimes after I've layered on my face (acne cream, moisturiser, blush, etc) it'll just start beading/peeling off. Why? How can I prevent this?

Ugh, this is the bane of my existence sometimes. The most common reason for this is that you're using a combination of water soluble and water insoluble products. You know when you’re making soup and those little blobs of fat float to the surface in the broth? that’s basically what’s happening with the stuff on your face. Skincare and makeup tend to be either water based, oil based, or silicone based.  If you layer products with different bases, they will sometimes bead up and separate. This is particularly important with whatever combination of moisturizer/primer/foundation/sunscreen you wear - since these go all over your face, they’re the most likely culprits, but if you notice specific products balling up like that, check their ingredients too. 

Knowing how to read a product label can be a huge help for troubleshooting any kind of skin care or makeup issue. Ingredients are listed from highest to lowest quantity by volume. In order to find out whether a product is oil, water, or silicone based, check the first couple ingredients. Usually the first four or five ingredients listed make up over 90% of the product by volume.

Water based products have (duh) water as a primary ingredient and don’t list any of the oils or silicones in the first few ingredients. Usually the other primary ingredients will be water soluble chemicals like butylene glycol. Water based products have a lighter consistency and are not especially moisturizing. This seems weird because what could have more moisture than water, right? Isn’t that what moisture is?? I dunno, but it’s true. Ask science (there's actually a pretty interesting reason for this involving evaporation and condensation and things like that, but it's long and not super relevant here and I'm not all that smart). You can use a water based product followed by an oil based product without the beading and separating if you’re willing to wait for the water based product to absorb and evaporate for awhile before you layer. Don’t use water based products over oil or silicone based products, though - oil and silicone don't absorb or evaporate like water based products do

Oil based products can be a little trickier to identify. Obviously, if a product lists an oil in the first few ingredients, it’s probably oil based (even if water is also found in the first few ingredients). “Oil” is a bit of an oversimplificiation on my part here - the main thing that defines these products is their insolubility in water (that’s what causes them to bead up and separate if used with water based products). Thus, Fatty alcohols like stearyl alcohol, fatty acids like caprylic acid, waxes like carnauba wax, and esters like Isopropyl palmitate also fall into this category. Usually if something feels particularly “creamy” or occlusive, check the ingredients, there’s probably some kind of water insoluble element in there. Again, it’s possible to use an oil based product OVER a water based product if you wait awhile between applications, but if you’re still having trouble with separation I’d recommend switching to like products. 

Silicone based products are usually cosmetics rather than skincare, as silicones create a “smoothing” effect on the skin. Many primers are silicone based, as are quite a few BB creams and some foundations. Most silicone ingredients end in -cone, one of the most common being dimethicone. Some silicones are water soluble and some are fat soluble, so it’s really going to depend on which silicones are in your product. If you’re having problems with makeup separating, do some googling, because it might be why. 

OK, do you have a headache yet? Does this seem like way too much work? I feel you. Luckily there’s an amazing website that breaks down all the different chemicals in your skincare products for you. It’s called cosDNA and it’s a godsend. Do some investigating and I bet you’ll be able to stop your face from falling off. 

[whattoputonyourface]

hi, im a guy who is interested in presenting more gender-neutral, but im ok with leaning femme. i have oily acne prone skin. My skincare routine is nearly nonexistent aside from basic moisturizers and cetaphil. Any advice for baby steps into the skincare world?

(GENERIC DISCLAIMER TIME: I am going to talk in very gender essentialist terms for the purposes of this post. Obviously, “men” and “women"/"masculine" and "femme"/"feminine" are mutable and fraught categories that don't make a lot of sense for a lot of people. But that's a hard thing to address in a post about Stridex and highlighter. I just wanted to say that I think gender is weird, and it's also weird that we talk about it like it isn't weird all the time. ok bye)

OK. Hi! I've written about this before, and I don’t mean this to be rude, but skincare is not “femme”! Men’s skin and women’s skin are pretty much the same, and stepping up your skincare routine won't change your gender presentation - it’ll just make your skin look clearer, softer, and younger, which I think is something people of all genders want. Here’s a post I wrote about men’s skincare needs and why a lot of skincare stuff marketed toward men is actually not good for your skin. Moisturizer and cetaphil are a great start! If you’re oily and acne prone, a great thing to try is a salicylic acid exfoliating product. You apply it to clean skin, wait a couple minutes (try for at least 10-15), then apply your moisturizer. I use Stridex and it makes a huge difference - I went without it for a month when I moved and my skin was nuts. 

BUT anyway, I want to talk a little bit about makeup for people who are not interested in presenting or passing as female, because I think that might be what you’re alluding to when you’re talking about your presentation here. So many conventional makeup techniques are about feminizing the face, but it needn’t be used for that! 

Also, I just watched the premiere of Game of Thrones, and I was really feeling Theon’s whole Guy in a British indie rock band in the early 2000s” look. Male makeup is gonna make a comeback, I feel it in my bones!

So there’s a couple angles to take here, depending on what your goal is - if you just want to use makeup to make subtle changes to your face and/or skin, or to make you appear a little more androgynous without looking like you’re trying for a drag look (not that there’s anything wrong with that, but that IS about feminizing a male face, and there’s lots of resources out there if that’s something you’re interested in), I have some suggestions. 

If you're a man curious about trying makeup, the first thing I’d recommend is trying out some kind of tinted primer. Tinted primers tend to be less focused on the pigmentation than foundation, so it won’t turn your face all one color, like foundation would (Generally speaking, and this goes for people of all genders, avoid foundation unless you’re going to be putting more color, like blush and contour, on top of it). Tinted primers are more about evening out your skin tone and slightly softening areas of discoloration. A tinted moisturizer or bb cream could also give you this look, but I think that might be too much pigment for a dude unsure about makeup and it’s not as focused on softening texture (male skin tends to be a little thicker and rougher than female skin). Primed and poreless tinted primer from too faced is a good option for fair to darkish medium skin tones. Another subtle “I’m not wearing makeup-makeup” skin tweak is undereye concealer. If you feel like you look haggard or tired, or you get those purplish bags under your eyes, you might want to give concealer a try. You can either match your skin tone, or pick a color slightly warmer and lighter to bring a little bit of light to the center of your face. Concealers can be a little tricky to blend - watch some youtube videos if you’re curious (yes, you can learn how to do this from a woman - it’s exactly the same process, although you really should only be using a tiny bit. A lot of youtube ladies go HAM with the concealer which looks nice on a face full of makeup but if it's the only thing you're using, use it sparingly). As far as makeup that might actually make a male face look more masculine while still being subtle - I think almost everybody looks good with darker, bolder eyebrows. I’m sort of surprised more men don’t fill them in! For this, since you’re still going for subtle, I would use a brow powder like this one from maybelline for a soft, diffused sort of look - you don't want anything too severe or precise, or it might start to lean drag. You just brush it into your eyebrows to fill out the spots that might be a little patchy, and then you can follow up with a clear brow gel to keep your eyebrow hairs groomed and in place - or just run a little bit of hair gel through your eyebrows if you don't want to pick up an extra thing. You could also use brow powder to fill in a patchy beard!

If you’re interested in looking more androgynous or youthful but not necessarily feminine, I’d check out highlighter. There’s a range of levels of pigmentation you can go for here - I think a nice subtle one for a man would be one of hourglass’s finishing powders - they’re like a soft focus filter for your face and really make you look ~glowy~. Holographic duochrome highlighters are also very on trend right now, so if you wanted to do kind of a gender bendy glam rock thing, I think milk’s holo stick would look awesome. Highlighters generally go on the high points of the face and places you want to catch the light, like the tops of your cheekbones and browbones, down the bridge of your nose, and/or on the eyelid, particularly in the inner corner of your eye. As far as actual pigmented products go, you can pretty much use them however you want - on men they make a bold statement, and you’re free from a lot of the constraints that your everyday makeup wearing woman is under because you’re already making a Statement by wearing makeup at all. Geometric shapes, pops of color in unexpected places, and simple application techniques with monochromatic colors look really cool and high fashion on male faces, I think. Also, sorry to keep talking about Euron, but I LOVED the way they did his eyeliner on the show. I think that’s a great starting point for a really cool, basic eye look for a man experimenting with makeup - a dark smokey brown powder used as eyeliner and smudged out, emphasizing the lower lash line in particular. It’d look really cool with a bold, dark eyebrow, I think. It’s still very rock n roll, but it’s greatly updated from the racoon eye emo guyliner that was popular in the last decade, and it's much easier to achieve.  

[whattoputonyourface]

I like using clay masks but all I've ever used is Queen Helene Mint Julep. Is that Aztec Healing Clay one you're supposed to use with apple cider vinegar good? Any other super-budget options for a nice clay mask? Cheers!

Hi everybody! I have a bunch of good questions in the queue and am excited to get back to blogging on here again! I recently moved to Brooklyn from Austin and the move kind of threw me off track, posting-wise. But now my cat Zelda and I are settled and ready to start helping yall out once more. Anyway, here’s a quick one to get started: I like the Aztec clay even better than Queen Helene. If you’re really budget conscious, Aztec Secret (God, that name is really embarrassing, isn’t it) is really just bentonite clay aka French green clay. Some secret, guys. You can sometimes find it for a bit cheaper in generic form if you search for it under those names, but a pound or two of Aztec Secret lasts for so long it’s very cost effective as it is.

What I like about buying clay for clay masks is that you can mix in whatever ingredients your skin likes. Many clays, like bentonite, are very alkaline, so you’re definitely going to want to mix them with roughly equal amounts of apple cider vinegar to bring the pH down. If you use water to make your mask instead of ACV, your mask will be too alkaline and will irritate your skin (I wrote about the importance of skin pH here). Plus, ACV is fermented and has lots of lovely probiotics in it, which are all the rage in skincare these days, and water makes the mask too lumpy anyway - ACV causes the mask to froth up and is a lot easier to stir into a smooth green paste. Apart from that, you can pretty much add whatever you want to your mask. I always add some honey to mine - honey is a humectant, which draws moisture into the skin. If it’s a hot day and I want to feel extra refreshed, I add a spoonful of yogurt to my face mask - like with the ACV, the probiotics are supposed to be good for breakouts, and the lactic acid in the yogurt gently exfoliates. 

Oh, one more thing - for some reason the Aztec clay says not to mix it using a metal bowl or utensils. I don’t know why, but I follow the rules. 

Make sure not to do face masks too often as clay can really dry out and irritate your skin if you use it too much. I try to do one about once a week. Have fun! There’s tons of mask recipes on the internet to play with. 

[whattoputonyourface]

Hey! After a long period of depression, I've started exercising again. I'm getting pretty strong, getting rid of a bit of fat and overall feeling a lot better. My issue is that I'm starting to have a lot of very visible stretch marks. I have fairly pale, not particularly dry or oily skin. I don't really do much for my skin at all, so I'm looking to start a basic routine. Thanks!

Congrats on getting back out into the world! That’s great! 

To treat and prevent stretch marks, it helps to know a little about them.  Basically, stretch marks are tiny tears in places where your skin was not elastic enough to to stretch around some area of new mass. They’re essentially just a bunch of little scars. Think about what happens when you’re kneading bread dough, and you stretch it apart when it’s only halfway kneaded - that’s pretty much what happens to your skin when it stretches. The two proteins that make skin more stretchy are called elastin and collagen. These are two proteins your skin gradually loses as you get older. 

So, some bad news. Old stretch marks (which usually look white, sometimes dark purple or brown) are very hard to fade unless you have enough money to get them lasered off in some cronenbergian sci fi body horror type of deal. That skin’s been stretched. You can’t unstretch it or make it stretchier after the fact. But! Like I said, stretch marks are scars. And we have ways to fade scars in the skincare world! We treat them with exfoliation. A strong alpha hydroxy acid like gycolic acid, or a TCA peel might work to help resurface the skin, which will fade the look of the stretch marks over time. TCA peels also help stimulate collagen. Remember, you can use much stronger chemical exfoliants on your body than on your face, so don’t try to multitask with these. With new stretch marks - the ones that are brighter colors, red or purple usually, you may be able to stop them in their tracks or even reverse some of the damage. You want to make sure youre moisturized, because moisturized skin is always stretchier than non moisturized skin, but unfortunately because the tearing taking place in the formation of stretch marks is happening so deep below the skin's surface, this isn't going to prevent much. Your main goal here is to stimulate collagen production, and slow the loss of elastin from your skin. Unfortunately skincare science doesn't seem to have yet found a surefire way to stimulate elastin production, so we just have to try to preserve what God's given us. There’s arguments thatdermarollers could help - by pricking tiny surface wounds into an affected area, the skin works extra hard to heal and resurface, using these lovely stretchy proteins. It’s something to think about! But personally, I havent seen enough of the science to back it up as a definite game changer. The same goes for red light therapy, which you should look into if you’re curious and have a lot of money to spend. The research isn't quite there yet but things look promising!

“Pricking needles into yourself? Red lights? Why can’t you just tell me what lotion to use and move on?” you’re probably saying. Yeah. I get it. Unfortunately, the collagen and elastin needed to keep your skin stretch has to be a structural part of your skin itself, so unfortunately, glopping on a bunch of cream with collagen in it is probably going to feel nice, but it isn’t going to actually change the structural makeup of your skin. (What I’m saying is - don’t waste your money on that stuff.) 

Good news though! There is one cream out there that actually is pretty promising at fading new stretch marks, stimulating collagen production, and preventing elastin loss! Guess what it is?  Good old RETINOL!

Yep. That stuff is a miracle! What DOESNT it fix?  Retinol is good for acne, for aging, for pretty much everything. And it’s good for stretch marks too! Its exfoliating qualities that will fade the look of any older stretch marks and scarring as well, but it works best on fresh scars.

Other ingredients that help encourage collagen production are some of our old favorites as well: hyaluronic acid, vitamin c, and various peptides like Syn-ake. But at the end of the day, nothing quite multitasks like retinol.

Here's a little bit of a downer, though: even though retinol is the only thing proven to reduce stretch marks, it doesn't get rid of them. Most studies say they reduce their appearance about 20%. They also fade with time, usually. But they're never going to be gone. I've found the best skincare regimen I can have about my stretch marks is just not to care about them too much. Almost everyone has them. They're reminders of how you've grown as a person. Wear em with pride, I say :)

[whattoputonyourface]

A very good point from frequent good point maker rgr-pop! Tattoos are your face. Relatedly, any injured skin and/or scars that are exposed to sunlight should be treated as your face as well.

[whattoputonyourface]

how far down my neck is still my face for skin care purposes?

Your whole neck is your face. If you wear low cut tops, your chest is also your face. The backs of your hands are your face too. 

[whattoputonyourface]

What are your thoughts/advice about benzoyl peroxide? I know it comes in 10% creams as well as face washes. I didn't see it listed on your list of "actives" but I thought benzoyl peroxide was a staple in that category. Thanks!

I have to admit BP is something I don’t know much about and don’t have much experience with! It is definitely very effective for some types of acne but can be drying and irritating for others. Generally speaking, it’s much better to get your actives like BP from a cream or leave-on treatment than from a cleanser, since a cleanser washes right off and doesn’t give the active time to work. But again, I truly don’t know a whole lot about BP. I think I tried it as a teenager, but I don’t think it did much for me personally. 

[whattoputonyourface]

What do I need to put on my face before applying makeup? Idk the diff between moisturizer and primer.

This is a good question! There are so many moisturizing primers and priming moisturizers out now, it’s hard to know what the difference actually is. 

In my opinion, you NEED to put moisturizer on before you put on makeup. Primer is less necessary, though if you get the right one, it can be a great addition to your routine. 

Basically, forgetting all the primers marketing themselves as “a moisturizer, too!” and vice versa, these products have different purposes, and because these purposes are sometimes complimentary and sometimes at odds, it’s a little bit sneaky for companies to market their stuff as multitaskers in this way. But it all depends on what you want.

The reason I say moisturizer is necessary is because moisturizer, well, moisturizes your skin. We’ve talked about why staying moisturized is important on this blog before - it keeps your oil production in check, can help reduce the look of dark circles, makes your skin plump and baby soft, and even helps prevent and diminish the look of wrinkles. It’s good stuff. 

Moisturizers also contain occlusives that act as a barrier between your skin and the harsh, cruel outside world. These occlusives, combined with the hydrating properties of the moisturizer, sometimes do help your makeup go on smoother. However, primer is a totally different ballgame.

Primers are also supposed to act a barrier between your skin and your makeup, but their purpose is less skin-health related and more aesthetic: they’re designed to “prime” your face to create a smooth surface that makeup will adhere to. There are different types of primers for different skin concerns: some focus on filling your pores, some on mattifying or luminizing, some on keeping your makeup lasting longer. While some do have hydrating qualities, typically, they aren’t going to be formulated with the health of your skin in mind first and foremost like moisturizers are.

Granted, there are some two in one products that work just fine, but usually they leave a little to be desired either in their ability to prime or their ability to moisturize. They rarely get both 100% right, because as I’ve explained, their functions are not always complimentary. 

In my opinion (and this really comes down to personal preference), primers are kind of overrated if you’re properly cleansing and moisturizing your face before putting your makeup on. They definitely help things blend better if you’re wearing a lot of makeup, or if you need your makeup to stay on for a long time, but if you have a good quality foundation and a decent moisturizer underneath it doesn’t make that much of a difference in terms of makeup application. I suppose they are useful for creating a different finish - ie, to mattify or luminize, but usually you can just buy a foundation with a mattifying or luminizing finish and have that work just fine. I will occasionally pick up some NYX angel veil to fill my pores and my nose piercing scar in if I need to look extra nice, but generally, it’s easier and more cost effective to just take really good care of your skin so you don’t have to apply as much stuff when you want to look "made up" (I know, easier said than done, but it's a process worth attempting!). If I need my makeup to last an extra long time, I'm more likely to finish it with a setting spray than use a specific longwearing primer, though both in combination can be great too.

All of this said, eye primers are excellent - those I use almost every time I wear makeup, to keep my eyeshadow from creasing. I like the Urban Decay primer potion but honestly you can just use a nude cream eyeshadow as a base and it works just as well. I have gone through one million pots of maybelline color tattoo in inked and pink which I use for this purpose.

[whattoputonyourface]

i'm a guy with bad acne and scarring, how do i make myself cuter

(psa: I am going to talk in very gender essentialist terms for the purposes of this post. this is the disclaimer that, obviously, “men” and “women” are mutable and fraught categories, and that my shorthand here of using “men” and “women” to mean “people with XY/XX chromosomes and the chemical and physiological tendencies that correlate to having XY/XX chromosomes” is reductive and not true for many. But if I made this disclaimer every time I did that when talking about this stuff, your eyes would cross halfway through because it’d be 10000 pages long. We good? OK, good.) 

i’m glad you asked this because there’s a weird misconception that I think comes from 1. marketing and 2. masculinity being a prison that, unless otherwise specified, skincare stuff is “for women”. In reality, men and women don't really have different skincare needs. It’s true that the Ph of male skin is slightly higher than the Ph of female skin, on average, and male skin tends to be slightly thicker and oilier. However, these tendencies are pretty slight and not pronounced enough to require different methods of care. It’s a shame, because a lot of skincare stuff marketed “for men” is actually pretty terrible for your skin. Male-centric skincare stuff, at least in the West, tends to be heavily fragranced and very alkaline, which will dry the hell out of your skin and in turn make you more oily as your skin tries to lock in what little moisture it has left. I guess treating anything gently, even your own skin, just isn’t masculine enough? Imagine if other health shit followed these rules: masculine brain surgery would just be Ben Carson rooting around in there with his bare hands. Massage for men would just be a pro wrestling match. That's basically what you're doing to your skin when you put Axe on it.  As an acne prone man, you should be doing what I’ve recommended acne prone women do: wash with a low ph cleanser, exfoliate with a BHA like stridex to take care of the current breakouts, and an AHA to help fade the scars (alternate using one exfoliant one day and the other exfoliant the next), and moisturize. Avoid fragrances and unneccessary chemicals, and wear sunscreen. Same as for ladies! The only difference, I think, is if you shave, you probably don't need to exfoliate the beardy half of your face as much, because shaving is itself a pretty effective physical exfoliation.  

[whattoputonyourface]

A Note on Why This Stuff Is Important To Me Even Though I Know It’s Pretty Dumb

I make a lot of self effacing comments when I write here about my wealth of knowledge regarding skincare and beauty, and most of that is sincere. I do feel like it's sort of a frivolous interest or hobby, though no more frivolous than many other interests and hobbies. I think I'm equally if not more knowledgable about a number of more "serious" things, so I'm not too worried about it. I don't think any of the advice I give here is stuff that anyone NEEDS to follow, and in some ways, it's a pretty silly thing to have spent so much money and time on. But it also means a lot to me to express myself in a certain way - for my own reasons, and for societal ones.

I identify as an anticapitalist and a feminist, or at least someone who hopes to act in accordance with those beliefs. Over the years of feminist theory, the thinking on whether caring about how you look, and spending money to make yourself look better, as a woman, is "feminist", or whether it's capitulating to the patriarchy - old fashioned capitalism rebranded as empowerment.

Theoretically I tend to spend more time in the latter camp. I worry a lot about the way feminism has been coopted by capitalist interests - and a lot of the Self-Care-As-Feminism-Industrial-Complex reads that way to me. Something isn't feminist just because it makes me feel good. This becomes especially complicated when I think about a big part of WHY makeup and skincare makes me feel good - it's because I'm treated better when I look nice.

I think policing how women look - which includes condemning them as shallow or unserious for caring about this stuff, for finding it interesting or beautiful or for spending money on it - is regressive, whether it's coming from the left or the right. It's especially regressive to assume from the way a woman looks what her priorities are, even if you object to the amount of "work" she's put into her appearance (too much and too little both seem to piss people off). At best, she's expressing herself, and at worst, she's doing what she needs to to get through the day in a world where her appearance is considered a reflection of her character.

People smarter than me have written better stuff re: Marxist-feminist analyses of beauty and the beauty industry, and re: the labor of self presentation, so I won't spend more time there. I'll just talk about it in terms of how it applies to my life: In many ways I fit into the acceptable parameters of attractiveness dictated to function in society without facing too many obstacles - I'm a cisgender woman, young, white, ablebodied, I have pretty good skin most of the time, I don't have any hugely disproportionate or asymmetrical features, etc. But I AM fat. And there's a certain amount of carelessness people ascribe to your self-presentation when you're fat. In order to be taken seriously, you have to go above and beyond what a thin or average sized woman would do in order to look "polished". What reads as a bold, subversive anti fashion stance on a thin body (messy hair, no makeup, "athleisure" or ripped up clothing, comfortable shoes, body hair) usually reads as slovenly on a fat one. Frankly, I know a lot more about makeup and skincare than a lot of my thinner friends do because I feel like I have to, in order to be taken as seriously as they are. Similarly, it's more important to me to look "put together" than it is for a lot of my thinner friends. I think every woman gets taken more seriously when they make an effort to fit into these Parameters of Acceptable Female Presentation, but the further you deviate from these paramaters naturally, the more important it is to try and fit within them, and the more effort, or appearance of effort, you need to put forth to pass muster. For people who fit into these parameters even less than I do, adopting all the "frivolity" of femininity can literally be an act of survival. Unfortunately, white supremacist patriarchy ascribes meaning to all bodies, and some of us have to do a little more work to be read as even Unremarkably Acceptable. There's also a huge class element here - how the way you look is assumed to telegraph your economic class, both in terms of what you've chosen about your self presentation and what's there naturally, and what that means for your attractiveness, acceptability, and even sexual availability - but if I go into it I'll be writing forever.

I guess long story short, I have genuinely come to enjoy this stuff because I do find it intellectually stimulating and fun - I enjoy learning about the science of skincare, and expressing my creativity (and, yes, my vanity) with makeup. I find the rituals of personal grooming to relieve my chronic anxiety. And some of that mainstream feminist self care rhetoric IS true - it feels good to value yourself. But part of why I like it is absolutely because I live in a society that expects me to look A Certain Way, and I don't feel like the way I look affords me the luxury of rebelling against that as much as I might like to, theoretically speaking.

When I started this blog, a friend of mine asked me if I was going to be giving feminist skincare and makeup advice. I don't remember what I said, but I've thought about it a lot since, and I guess I've come to the conclusion that "feminist skincare and makeup advice" isn't really possible. I don't think we can ever separate ourselves enough from patriarchy to really say whether we're doing this for ourselves or not. But I find it fun enough that I don't mind too much, and of all the ways to be hurt by capitalism and the Patriarchy, there are certainly worse ones than Sephora (of course, the system of labor that produces beauty products is as fraught and unjust as any late capitalist labor system, although probably not moreso than buying anything else). I think everyone has to find their own personal give-and-take w/r/t how they participate and refuse to participate in the systems of oppression that govern our lives. And I think participating in this way makes it easier to resist in other ways, at least for me.

[whattoputonyourface]

I would like to set my makeup with a transluscent powder especially since the powder cuts down on shinyness but I instantly turn into a haggard ashen crone the minute powder hits my face. What am I doing/what should I do?

There’s a number of things that could be causing this, and you’re going to have to troubleshoot it. 

1. Your skin - Do you have dry skin? If so, you really only need to powder on the places where you end up shiny, and only just barely. What color is your skin? Often “translucent” powders are not actually translucent on deeper skin tones, and it might be worth getting a powder with a little bit of a warm tint to it to combat ashiness.

2.Y our application - Remember you only need a tiiiiiiny bit of powder to set makeup and absorb oil. It looks cute on youtube and for drag but most regular women don’t need to “bake” their face, and adding too much powder will add a lot of texture that isn't cute. the LIGHTEST dusting of powder will help take down shininess. You can always add more if it doesn’t work. When you pick up powder on your brush, tap off the excess before you apply. 

3.  Your powder brush - do you have a good powder brush? are the bristles loose and soft? If you’re using a brush that’s too dense, it will apply too much powder in too concentrated an area, which will leave you looking ashy.

4. Your powder - what kind of powder are you using? I find pressed powders tend to look ashier than loose powders - i think bc you pick up a higher concentration on your brush, which isn’t what you want. The best translucent powder I’ve ever used is unfortunately insanely expensive - the Laura Mercier loose powder that’s like 29 bucks at sephora. Everyone on youtube really likes this brand called RCMA No Color Powder, but it might still make you look ashy if you have darker skin because it's translucent/white. My advice would be to try out different loose powders and see what works with your skin, but look for something super finely milled, and read reviews. Before you buy a new product though, make sure you’ve gone through the troubleshooting above, you might save some money. 

Additionally, if this still doesn't work, you might want to look into a setting spray like mac fix plus or urban decay's all nighter. This might eliminate the need for powder, or you can use it over powder to take down that "powdery" textured appearance. A regular old hydrating facial mist can take down that powdery look, too, if you don't need to use something for extra longevity. I use this one.

[whattoputonyourface]

Kath, what's the best thing to do for dark circles under your eyes? Additionally I've always had a ton of little bumps under my eyes which a quick google search says are called "milia." Any tips for those too? Thank you!

Hi! Let me tackle this in two parts.Dark Circles

Sadly, most of the time dark circles in the undereye area aren't a skin problem, and thus can’t be fixed with skincare (the good news is this should save you money on BS products that aren't gonna do anything, so that's nice). Usually if the area under your eyes appears “dark”, the actual skin is not what's dark, it's just very thin, and the "darkness" you're seeing is all the veins, capillaries, and connective tissue underneath the skin's surface. The only way to reduce this in a long-term(ish) way is to get fillers under your eyes, because the fillers put some space between the surface of your skin and all that connective tissue. However, the same principle applies to temporary fixes - the more water volume you have under your eyes, the less prominent your dark circles will look (this is often the reason dark undereye circles appear more prominent with age - your skin loses water as you get older). That means keeping the area well hydrated (through topical hydrators/moisturizer as well as through drinking lots of water) can diminish their appearance, albeit temporarily. If you actually do have skin hyperpigmentation in the undereye area, ‘skin brightening’ ingredients like vitamin c, niacinamide, and retinol can help, just be sure not to get them to close to your actual eye (usually, bc of cell communication, you can still get positive effects without putting them all the way up to your eyelashes and risking irritation). In the meantime, this is exactly what they invented concealer for! I'd love to recommend one but I'm actually searching for a good one right now. Everyone on youtube is very into tarte shape tape.

Side note: There's "controversy" about this in the skincare world. but I generally think "eye creams" are kind of a waste of money - they're essentially the same as moisturizers, just more expensive and packaged in tiny jars. A well formulated skincare product designed for the rest of your face should be effective on/near the eyes as well - the exception to this is strong exfoliators, which might be too much for the sensitive undereye area. The only type of eye-specific cream that might actually be worth it is something with caffeine in it to temporarily "tighten" baggy or wrinkled undereye skin. You could definitely use different products in your eye area if your skin needs more moisture there (often the case for people with oily skin elsewhere, as the undereye tends to be drier than the rest of the face), but you should probably just decide what to get based on the ingredients, not on the "eye cream" label. If you REALLY want something under-eye specific, a product I think is super fun (though not remotely necessary) are these little hydrogel undereye patches which temporarily plump up the skin and get rid of wrinkles for a few hours. Lots of brands make them! the key ingredients in them are the most basic, unsexy hydrating ones, so there's no need to get a specific type or spend a lot of money.

Milia

Milia are tiny white bumps that sort of look like little clogged pores or tiny whiteheads on your face, but they don’t go away. ‘Milia’ is latin for ‘seed’, and that’s pretty much what they look like. They’re a pain in the ass and unfortunately a really common problem, especially around the eyes. My main advice to you is DON’T TRY TO SQUEEZE OR PICK AT THEM, especially if they're in the eye area. That skin is so thin and sensitive, trying to dig a milia out can often make the problem worse. They're usually much deeper in the skin than they look, so it's really recommended you go to a dermatologist or facialist if you really want to have them removed. I know this doesn’t usually stop people, so here, if you really wanna try to get em out, I found a guide. Just BE CAREFUL. Keep everything sterile and I really would only recommend this if you CANNOT LIVE with having milia on your face and can't get to a derm. I've had some milia on the top of the bridge of my nose for years, probably from wearing glasses, and it's so tempting to squeeze at em but I just remind myself I'd probably end up with an even uglier scar.

As far as preventing milia, the same sort of stuff that prevents clogged pores will help. Keep your skin clean and well exfoliated (exfoliating well might also diminish the appearance or even get rid of existing milia too! but it takes a LONG time of consistent use), and check and see if you have any ingredients in your skincare or makeup that may be clogging your pores. www.cosdna.com is a great website where you can look up the comedogenicity (how likely something is to congest your skin) and irratibility of specific ingredients.

In the meantime, if you're disgusting like I am, there are some fun videos of people getting milia removed on youtube. Sorry in advance if you click that link and aren't extremely fucked up like me!!!