"I Am The Dark Of Which You Cannot Know."

"All that we see or seem Is but a dream within a dream." Edgar Allan Poe

[mookybear12404]

Can we please please normalize subtitles? 

[mookybear12404]

Subtitles are:

1. A necessity for deaf people

2. REALLY helpful for those who are partially deaf, have APD (like me and my sister) or any other hearing problem

3. really helpful for those who can’t focus well, especially for those with ADD/ADHD (like me)

4. Is incredibly helpful for people learning a second language, or for bilingual people who can read better than they can hear 

5. Even if you aren’t into learning the language, there are countless amazing foreign movies and songs you really can’t enjoy without subtitles!

6. Can help people (like my sister) who have reading comprehension 

7. Can help when you’re having a party and you don’t want to pause every time someone wants to make a comment/joke

8. Can help when the characters in the show have a heavy accent (especially in period shows) 

9. Let’s be honest subtitles can really add to the humor of the show! (”sobs mathematically”, “screeches loudly”, “angrily fixes bowtie”)

10. Can let people watch content without headphones, or in areas of loud noises. 

11. Alternatively, If someone has sensitive hearing or is triggered by loud noises, they can turn the volume down low and still be able to enjoy the content

12. The last bit is VERY true for movies where they switch between soft speaking and LOUD BOOMING NOISES (I’m looking at you hunger games)

13. Very good for helping young kids recognize and associate words and learn to read faster!

14. Really good when you’re eating chips/crunchy candy and can’t hear the movie

15. IS A NECESSITY FOR DEAF PEOPLE!!!

I can’t even tell you how many of my friends made fun of me for needing subtitles, to the point of where I just don’t bother with them anymore. Asking for subtitles at an event is the scariest thing I can imagine. People often complain that it “gets in the way” of their movie. Watching shows (especially in loud areas or with people who talk a lot) is incredibly frustrating for me. People often think I’m stupid for not understanding a show or needing to rewind when someone talks. Most Youtube users don’t bother to create subtitles for their videos (and auto-generated subtitles are crap). I just wish people were nicer to people who need subtitles, and that they were more accessible on other platforms. 

[when-light-and-dark-collide]

I hope whatever happens in the crazy reality we live in

That no matter what is thrown in your path today for you I wish

That you are encircled by protective white light where ever you go

That you are comforted by the soothing warm pink rays of love

That peace will calms your beating heart and anxious mind

That if in dark days you keep hope close to your heart and never ever lose faith in the good that does exist

And I wish for this for you and for all you love and who love you

Along your way,be kind to all beings and most of all be kind to yourself!

You are special

You are divine

You are just incredible!

You are loved

You are not alone

All will be well

You are safe

[when-light-and-dark-collide]

Some days I just can't.

I try always to think positive. Amend my thoughts when they don't conform to this rigidity of being positive/happy we are being forced fed by social media. I think it causes more pain.

Feeling my damn feelings-it's exhausting! I'm exhausted. I feel pushed to the edge but responsibility won't allow me to 'feel' just how at the edge I actually am. So where does this feeling your feelings mantra fit into daily life?? Practically speaking?

If I was to start feeling decades of suppressed feelings it's going to need to be more than a quiet hour in a fucking candlelit bath!

Why is it so hard to be a thing they call our 'natural' state of being?? To be happy. Choosing to be happy. Of course I choose happiness. Who wouldn't?!

Undoing a lifetime of learned behaviour that has not only been learnt in this lifetime. Why is the burden of ancestral dumped on our shoulders?? Is this my ego speaking? But am I not allowed to query?? Are we not told to question?? Never believe in something completely.

I naturally have an inquisitive mind. It's a pain in the ass cus I can never take anything at face value. I ask why and how?? I suppose it is balanced by my gut feeling. That I trust. No matter what you say I'll feel it. Energy ties us all and ripples of deception will be felt

This pseudo-psychology-new wave spirituality has my hackles rising. I don't trust it.

We have to experience the negative we fight to avoid. It's what shapes us. I'm aware I'm not the feeling. It passes like waves. This too shall pass.

The negatives helps us appreciate the beauty and joys life does offer us.

But I'm just tired. I'm really fucking tired.

Rant over. Just had to get some of this out of my mind. The beauty of tumblr.

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This is what happens I try to get a photo of one of my cats reflective eyes using a flash at night...

Never seems to work for me!!

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[00v]

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❤❤❤

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For this blog,today. It's the Fibromyalgia tale.

It's bothering me most.

Damp days could be used to torture me.

Going about your business looking fine and sounded fully functional. Unless you state you're in a world of pain there's the assumption everything is ok. You're having a bad day. Well it's never a bad day. There's only so many times you can say you're still struggling before you yourself get fed up of saying there's no goddamn change!! AGAIN!!!

There's a war in your body with pain squeezing every fibre in such an unrelenting way you just want to scream. But since we never do. It's not so silent screams inside your mind instead.

Cramping muscles that no matter how much relaxation techniques,breathing exercises or meds you chuck down your throat in an ever delusional hope they may give you peace-it DOESN'T relent!! That constant tight tension!! It hurts! It aches! It burns! Imagine tensed up muscles for days. It really kills after awhile.

Pain brushing your hair. Pain in the bottom of your feet when you walk. Pain lifting the kettle. Pain curling your fingers around anything. Being super aware of how painful joints feel with every movement. Every single cell feels like it's crying with sadness from pain.

But it's my heart that feels that sadness the most.

Fatigue sapping the last remnants of energy from your being. Haunted by frustration,guilt and sense of failure at your inability to complete the most simple of tasks.

The list grows of what needs to be done. A nagging constant reminder of failing. Your failure. Everyone else seems to manage why can't I??

A body made of l(painful) lead. With a heaviness you could never imagine possible. It really is like wading through the thickest of treacle. Like something invisible resists your attempts at mobility. No amount of willpower can push you forward. No inclination in your mind to push forward either. Motivation evaporates like the steam off the coffee cups you pour down your throat pleading with each mouthful to give at least a hint of energy to get something done.

A shower becomes one of the most exhaustive and painful things to do. Water falls like hail pelting sore skin that already feels bruised and sunburnt. Not only do you have to push through to cleanse. It's the dreaded drying off stage. Where I now congratulate myself for getting in the shower in the first place despite feeling beaten down to begin with. I say it's nearly over! That final bit of motivation to play through the pain of drying with a towel that may aswell be made of iron wool.

Even wearing clothes can be beyond uncomfortable. The slightest crease digs in with intense pain,enough to make you jump wondering wtf was that? Just a fucking crease!

Trying to get comfy for sleep results in sheer distress. As tired as you are sleep is an elusive bastard. Not that you can get comfy enough for sleep. Pillows can be as much a form of torture as clothes. Smoothing out whatever you plan to sit or lie on in an obsessive way.

Patches of skin in random fucking places that suddenly feel like you've poured boiling water and has scalded you. No amount of soothing eases the sensation. I check but there's nothing there,no sign of redness or any sign of burning. Skin that itches. Feeling like tickles of something is crawling over as always,random places on the skin. So many times I've thought there's a bug. But nothing is there.

I can't still can't believe if I don't catch myself when I scratch those said itches it feels like I've scratched my skin with knife blades. Like I've dug my nails in and scratched hard. The pain is honestly searing! Takes my breath away and takes ages for that pain to calm down. Are my nails that sharp?!

The slightest of pressure from anything causes an intense wave of pain too. This pain is long lasting and that makes it worse. I wished I was wrapped up in cotton wool. Some sort of padding to protect my overly sensitive skin.

Most of all I want these flare ups to not last as long.

Then there's the whole other world of hell-your mind.

But that's a story for another time.

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Thank you Tesco's for this delightful wreath🕷💀🎃

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Yesterday's sky. Such a contrast to today's sky. So grey so damp so nippy.

Hello Autumn!

[ex0skeletal-undead]

When you boil a funny bone it becomes a laughingstock.

Hate this, thank you