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@whhhhhyatt
"I asked chat gpt-" yeah?? And I'm asking why lord if this is how I die lord
a star burns out
crazy thang is whenever someone makes a post talkng about how xyz thing annoys them someone will always go 'oh so we're not even allowed to do [thing] anymore??' like no you literally can. that person just will not like you. if that is enough to stop you then its not that youre not allowed its that you are not capable of existing outside of the approval of others
why are you asking for permission. begging? are you a dog or a man
there it is
i am chronically online but not in a way that others recognise unless they are also an active tumblr user in the year 2023 🫡
before i was a faggot or a tranny or an autist i was weird and surprisingly just being weird is enough to make people treat you like all of the above
"why are so many of your friends queer" because they're the only people who accepted me as a weird neurodivergent teenager when it felt like the whole world was against us and everything mattered too much.
good afternoon here's my big rant on my pet peeves for subtitles in movies and tv
This is a post that I’ve thought about making probably for years now but never got around to. I might add more later if I realize I’ve forgotten any
When it comes down to it, the purpose of subtitles is this: to reflect exactly what the audience can hear, precisely when it can be heard. If you fail to do this, your subtitles are bad and you should feel bad. Although I don’t have concrete examples for most of these off the top of my head, I promise I have experienced them all firsthand at least once.
-> Watch for spelling and typos. Obviously.
-> Syncing issues.
This should go without saying, but the captions should be synced as closely as possible with dialogue and sound effects. Subtitles that are out of sync are worse to me than no subtitles at all. They’re unbearably distracting and I have to turn them off. I’m fortunate enough that I can keep watching without them, so imagine how frustrating this is for someone who needs to keep them on no matter what.
-> Jumping the gun.
This is basically an example of out-of-sync subtitles that are slightly too fast, but it gets its own category because it ruins the viewing experience in its own unique way. In particularly dramatic scenes, actors will often draw out their lines or pause between phrases. Captions sometimes fail to reflect this by displaying the entire sentence all at once, allowing the audience to read what someone is about to say before they actually say it, which deflates all the dramatic tension of the scene.
-> Phantom captions.
This one is less self explanatory, but it’s kind of similar to syncing. Sometimes there will be significant intervals of time between lines of dialogue, especially after a scene ends and a new one begins. The interval may include music, sound effects, or complete silence, but what I’m calling a “phantom” is a caption that stays on the screen after that last line of dialogue is delivered until the next line is spoken. I don’t remember what I was watching, but there was one that was glued to the screen for SEVERAL MINUTES over what was supposed to be an atmospheric break between scenes and it drove me nuts. In my experience this happens more often with older subtitling for DVDs and some old videos and less with modern streaming.
-> Straight up spoilers.
Sometimes, a character will speak whose true identity has not yet been revealed to the audience. If I’m not supposed to know the character’s name yet, don’t just… tell me right there in the captions whenever they say something. Descriptors like “disembodied voice”, “man”/”woman”, “mysterious figure”, etc. will suffice.
-> Lack of musical descriptors.
It usually helps to describe the genre or emotion of the music that’s playing rather than just writing [music] or 🎵. That being said, if there is a song playing that’s particularly well known in the mainstream, I think it’s useful to actually include the name of the song. This one I do have a concrete example for: in Arrested Development, Gob always blasts The Final Countdown during his acts. But the captions on my DVDs for the show always describe it as [stagy pop]. Like yeah I would say that song is some pretty stagy pop, but I think a lot of the humor comes from knowing that it’s specifically The Final Countdown by Europe because it’s such a perfectly corny selection that Gob would make.
Another musical failure is not transcribing pertinent lyrics. If the song is playing in the background, then that’s understandable and it can be kind of distracting if there’s dialog happening on top of it because the audience isn’t actually meant to be paying close attention to the song. But if the song is front and center, like for a musical number or montage, then the lyrics can be pretty important. Last year when I watched Arcane on Netflix with my family (a recent, high budget production from the biggest streaming platform ever), the show had the nerve to write [man rapping] over a musical sequence. Imagine if all subtitles ever just said [person speaking] for the entire movie.
-> Affectations.
If a character starts using a silly voice or accent, or if the sound of their voice changes in any way, describe that. If the audience can hear the difference, the subtitles should reflect that difference. And they should reflect it informatively and accurately; for example, don’t just say [mock accent], but specify [mock French accent].
-> Paraphrasing.
I don’t even know why this is an issue, but it’s alarming how many times the subtitles just… straight up don’t match what the characters are actually saying. It’s like the transcriber was forced to write all the captions from memory, so they kinda sorta say the same thing, but the wording is different and some sentences or phrases are missing. When I brought this up with my mom she theorized that the transcriber was working off the script for the movie because hey, that’s all the dialogue already written down, right? But it completely fails to account for revisions, improvisation, or actors delivering their lines even slightly different than how they were originally written.
And last but certainly not least, one of the biggest offenders in bad subtitling…
-> [Speaks foreign language]
If someone says something in another language, please, for the love of god, do not just write [speaks foreign language] and call it a day. Specifying the actual language is an improvement, but this descriptor only works if the audience members are truly not meant to know what’s being said (which is sometimes the case). If a character is only saying a single word or phrase in another language, transcribe it. As in, write down the actual words that they said. If you don’t speak that language, find someone who does. You are insane for transcribing a character saying “hola” or “abuela” in an otherwise English sentence as [speaks Spanish] (real examples I saw respectively in Rango and JANE THE VIRGIN. THERE’S SO MUCH SPANISH IN THAT SHOW).
If the audience is supposed to know what someone is saying in another language, English subtitles will usually be hardcoded. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, LET THE CAPTION SAYING [SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE] COVER THESE UP. This is actively impeding understanding, not helping it. Jesus christ
* Please keep in mind that I’m not deaf or hard of hearing and I don’t have auditory processing disorder; I almost always watch movies and tv with subtitles whenever the option is available because it helps me absorb information better. If I don’t even strictly NEED subtitles and these are issues for me, I can only imagine how much more difficult it is for those who rely on them more heavily. I invite you to add your own perspective!!
I have one to add to the pile!
-> Censorship.
Lots of subtitles won't write out swear words. Why not? If someone's already watching something with cussing in it, what's the point in cutting it out of the subtitles? Closed captioning for cable tv usually leaves a blank with dashes or an underscore, but it should either say [censored] or [beep] or [foghorn] or just the actual swear word. Another weird example is on the streaming version of Chicago, it alters lyrics that reference sex? Like, the spoken line is "screwing around" but the subtitles say "playing around", and other swear words are changed to more church-friendly (for lack of a better term) alternatives. A character shouts "Go to hell!" and the subtitles read "Just buzz off!" This isn't accurately representing the movie and it's not fair to people who need subtitles.
“this is the hill you want to die on?” oh no i just love arguing. i fully intend to leave this hill once it gets boring. sorry for the confusion!
So Arizona launched an “education hotline” that allows “concerned parents” to report “””critical race theory””” and other things like ~gender identity~ being taught in the classroom
It would be a shame if the number and email were spread to bad actors looking to prank call the AZ Department of Education
602-771-3500 or empower @ azed .gov 🤡
Horne said two staff members are sorting through the calls, and two investigators are working on credible leads.
and for the love of god, don’t just spam it with memes or le funny shrek jokes or whatever, they’ll just hang up
make plausible-sounding reports for things that don’t actually exist, so that they actually have to waste time/resources investigating false leads - the goal is to waste time they would otherwise be using to do their jobs, not to get tumblr clout for being an epic troll
So apparently the internet article said the superintendent wouldn't be deterred by the prank calls because they would 'taper off eventually'. It'd be a real shame if this post stayed in circulation via queues so they get a consistent list of prank calls to filter through. 😇
Autism
At work I saw a guest retying their shoes and noticed they had rainbow coloured shoelaces. As I often do when I see rainbow stuff, I wanted to compliment it partly as a queer code. When I told them I liked their shoelaces, though, they immediately responded, “Thanks, I got them from the president.” I completely lost it. This was the first time this had ever happened to either of us. As I pointed out, it was about 10 years late, but here we are.
update: because my life is a farce I have now been shown the post of the other person in this interaction posting on their own tumblr
If you don't think fat women can be hot then maybe you should climb into a comically large blender and get blended. Idiot.
i think fat women are extremely hot but can i climb into the comically large blender still? i dunno it sounds fun
Alice, you can do anything your silly heart desires.
YAYYY I LOVE WOMEN!!!!!!! VRRRRRRRR *blood splattering everywhere*
i’m losing my mind
STOP REBLOGGING THIS my phone is glitching an astronomical amount and I immediately knew the culprit was one of my tumblr posts gaining traction
oh
GROOVE WITH ME BABY
Ya gotta have
✨⭐️ SOUL ⭐️✨
DONT STOP ME NOW!
mhhmmm yea
its okay to be a trans person who doesnt want to medically transition but im begging on my hands and knees trans people who dont want to medically transition or who are pre medical transition to stop being so weird about medically trans bodies. i love bottom growth i think its really fucking cool and sexy and if you dont that is fine but keep that shit to urself because bottom growth is a real thing people have and talking about how its gross or weird or scary is fucking weird.
also acting like estrogen makes you cute and adorable and petite and testosterone makes you angry and unpredictable further contributes to womanhood being infantilised and manhood being demonised on multiple levels.
the same people who think top surgery scars are hot are the people who think phallo and bottom growth look weird and the same people who think breast implants are sexy think that trans womans sex changes (i know what its called but i dont want to say incase this post gets taken down i know sex change isnt a preferable term) are "open wounds"
trans bodies are hot and sexy and beautiful and cool and interesting and you are just spewing transphobic rhetoric. medically transitioning is so hard tbh but its so rewarding and it is life saving. stop making it more demonised and taboo than cis people already make it.
trans joy and trans love and trans sex/sexuality is dope as hell
(T*rfs dni)
y’all the libido explosion at the beginning of starting t is no joke holy shit. it’s not even the fun kind of libido increase where it’s like “ooh mayhaps i shall dedicate this lovely afternoon to enjoying myself” it’s like “we already did this twice today and now i’m literally just trying to make lunch can you PLEASE CHILL OUT”
The gender reveal
(The year is 2017; Harry and Draco, aged 37, find themselves at a gender reveal party.)
Draco: I don’t understand this at all, Potter.
Harry, sighing: It’s George’s newest bestseller. St Mungo’s sends WWW the fetus’s sex and they magic fireworks to reveal the news. Blue fireworks for boy, pink for girl.
Draco: I know that. What I don’t understand is why.
Harry: It’s insane. That’s why you don’t understand. And another thing! It’s not a “gender” reveal. It’s a “sex” reveal.
Draco, raising an eyebrow: You and Hermione need to stop reading those Witch and Gender Studies books.
Harry: I’m serious! All they know is whether the baby will come out with a penis!
Draco: Admittedly, an important factor. Oh Salazar, look. We are not playing this game, Harry.
Harry: What are they doing?!
Draco: I think they’re Charming one team blue and one team pink and having them race? This is so undignified. Quick, Disillusion me. Did you bring your Cloak?
Harry: Shut up. What I don’t understand is, who cares if they have a boy or a girl?
Draco: Say what you want about Pureblood traditions, Potter. Call us regressive. Call us bigoted. We would never tolerate this nonsense. Only you barmy progressives could come up with something so preposterous.
Harry: Oh bloody hell. Now they have pink and blue cakes and we’re supposed to guess the sex by way of eating cake.
Draco: Can I demand a blue cake with pink frosting?
Harry, laughing: Yes! Let’s do it! Let’s sneak up and Transfigure them! You make the blue frosting pink on yours. I’m going to make my whole cake rainbow. Can I write “Queer AF” on top? That’s what the kids say these days, right?
Draco, smirking: Oh, I dare you. If you actually do that, I will do the dishes for a month.
……. Five minutes later……
Harry, grimacing: I’ve never seen a grandmother so angry.
Draco, scowling: I’ve never been accused of brainwashing a fetus before.
Harry: Do you think we can leave yet?
Draco: Potter, you are the most conspicuous guest at any gathering. No, I don’t think we can sneak out before the penis-status announcement.
Harry: Have I mentioned how stupid I think this is.
Draco: A few hundred times. And though you know I agree with you, you need to stop whining about it.
Harry, smirking: Make me, Malfoy.
*Heated snogging*
Draco: Oh good, here comes the announcement about the presence or absence of the fetus vagina.
Harry, snickering: I don’t think I’ve ever heard you say the word ‘vagina’ before.
Draco: Well, it’s not in my general vocabulary.
Harry: Thank Merlin for that. … Oh God, here it comes.
*Fireworks*
Draco: Annnnnnnnnd the fetus has a penis.
Harry: I don’t understand how I’m supposed to be feeling right now. Am I supposed to be happy?
Draco: I don’t know. Salazar. I am NOT wearing one of those “It’s a Wizard!” hats.
Harry: Can we leave yet?
Draco: Yes, thank Merlin.
Harry: Do we have to say goodbye?
Draco: You have absolutely no manners.
Harry: Well what the fuck am I supposed to say? Glad to hear your fetus has a cock?
Draco: Just shut your mouth and I will do the pleasantries for both of us, then we can go home and I’ll show you what else has a cock.
Harry, leering: Can we do a reveal with fireworks?