Welcome To My McTwisted Mind

Gauge| BLM |Furry They/Them Agender/26/INFJ/Poly icon by @furrynewt Minors do not interact or follow!! my dash looks like hot garbage bc I designed it in early high school and now I am mobile only. i apologize

[grimeclown]

 “hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”

“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”

“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’

“uuuuuh hold on”

*fishes something out of my pocket*

“mikey what do i do?”

“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”

*stuffs it back in my pocket*

“uhh yes please  the meal would be great”

[texcritterspizzajamboree]

serious question: can anyone else see this post? am I hallucinating?

[meme-loving-stuck]

this is like Schrodinger’s fucking meme because half the time the pic is deleted and the other half it’s visible

[kaban-bang]

[plorkart]

departure

[macklesufficient]

guide 4 teens

tell the cops nothing

tell the paramedics everything

ur eyebrows are fine

[bisforbutch]

Do not tell the paramedics anything you don't need invasive help for actually. They are a kind of cop too. Lifesaving info (including overdosable drug intake) sure. Not if you've had a suicidal intrusive thought in the past 90 days if that is not why they are present.

[deep-state-partisan]

Worry about it kitten

[graceebooks]

ok ♥️

fuck ♥️

[junglejim4322]

[fangsiege]

martayyyyyy (it/its) original design by scpkid on toyhouse!

[whatthemythicalwhat]

I love Josh’s anti-classism so much. I grew up in a single parent household that didn’t have time/the ability to cook. I taught myself as an adult and ended up loving it. I cook with this stuff a lot. Shit, the RealLemon juice ends up in a lot of my cocktails. Sure, I like fancy ingredients when I can afford them and I have things I get picky about using - but I have bad hands, mincing garlic is painful as fuck. There’s a lot to be said for knowing how to work with what you have. Don’t shame people for trying, don’t shame people for feeding their families things that they enjoy.

[brunhiddensmusings]

if you are only a good cook if you have access to premium ingredients at whole foods or above prices then you arent really a good cook

[headspace-hotel]

I think about this post a lot because of the phrase "i'll cook anyone's ass under the table."

[seymourworld]

the money leaves your bank account because it knows you're a bad person. MY money knows my heart is pure and true

[monkeyislandtwo]

being poly with no bitches is a little funny

[monkeyislandtwo]

yes i am in fact poly but um. its just me for now. thats all you're gonna get

[monkeyislandtwo]

monocule

[wolfertinger666]

the mouse store.

[kitsunegdx]

:3 feels happier than :) But not as genuine as :]

[hunterontheedge]

:3 is my favorite. Full of deceit and silliness. The jester’s face. The culmination of all that’s chaotic and ever changing.

:) can be ominous, if it’s alone or accompanied by odd context! But sometimes, it’s yer friendly ol smile. :] is a friendly face. That is a friend. Look at it. What harm could it possibly do?

[kitsunegdx]

:3!!!

[kitsunegdx]

You have the secret knowledge my friend

[hunterontheedge]

The little guys are here… the littlest of smiles… like being handed a flower on a nice day…

[hunterontheedge]

Like this almost

[kitsunegdx]

You understand the treasures!

[shamebats]

Sucks to see someone else living your dream.

[shamebats]

[shamebats]

They're making it sound so doable... I have a long term plan for my life now.

[failchild]

[erros429]

roommate texted this to me……..

[erros429]

update on this from my (now former) roommate:

[dawn-lilacbloom]

[twistcmyk]

Keep reading

[fuzzyblizzardkitty]

important questions to ask on a first date:

wroof.

arruf?

awoooooo?

[sapphling]

the political necessity of chubby chasing