Patron Saint of Ass Kickings

I'm here for a good time, not a long time. Header by Ovacalix on Twitter. Refer to the Rules. Requests are CLOSED

[whirls-holoform]

If I said I went to jail for 2 years would ya'll believe me

[whirls-holoform]

Wow I really did just completely fucking forget about this blog and develop a life outside of tumblr that barely allows me to be here

I am so sorry but also like my life has been a mess for the past few years so

whoops

[togiya-box]

dratchet 💖

This is my favorite pair.

[pretentiousfork]

I can't resist so here is rough animation :"D

[breakdownsbuttlights]

heyyyyyyy look it’s the post-EOS Drift I never finished

[hanari502]

Hey Transformers fandom: you’re welcome

[whirls-holoform]

Hey so uhhhh

My dog died like

not even 24 hours ago

he was 16 and I loved him a lot

Just figured i’d let ya’ll know

[whirls-holoform]

Ya’ll ever get a Real Powerful Urge to fuck TFA Lockdown because i’m wildin right now

[whirls-holoform]

Not quite drunk yet, but trust me I'm working on it. And I thought I was being slick about shit but you've been nailing these all night yet I can't figure out the one you gave... still not looking it up, you've got me good.

(Mod)

I’ve been holding onto that one since Middle School good luck buddy.

[whirls-holoform]

Ooh, right on the money with that one, congrats 'Mingo! And I won't lie, the one you gave is gonna stump me for a bit, but you have my word, I won't look it up. In the meanwhile, riddle me this: You can always see me in darkness, but never in the light. I make laughter lethal, but without me, your scars become a ride. What am I?

Someone come get the town drunk, he’s sogging up my ask box.

The letter S

“You can’t spell slaughter without laughter.”

[whirls-holoform]

NIGHTBEAT FUCK OUTTA MY ASK BOX

[whirls-holoform]

And don't look up the answers, whirly-bird, some mental stimulation would do you a bit of good

Alright you wanna do riddles? I’ll give you a riddle. Don’t look it up either. Been holding onto this one for years.

I’m a queen with no castle, and yet I have five guards. Two unshaven, two clean shave, and one unshaven.

What am I.

[whirls-holoform]

What, you don't like a little ribbing between pals?? Got another one for you: We sound like Eden as a pair. Make us weight, we won't play fair. Sometimes consensus, more times schism. Usually locked away in prism. If by chance you seek, then throw. The serpent sees when we meet low. We carry freight when we meet high, but separate us, and we die. What am I?

Is this Swerve?

Listen I’ll pay my bar tab when I pay my bar tab. Don’t harass me like this.

I’m not gonna google it but I AM gonna consult Cyclonus and Tailgate.

Cyclonus says it’s “The Conscience.”

Tailgate says it’s something to do with chemistry

I think it’s a pair of dice, because I read Homestuck once and I know what a Boxcars is.

[whirls-holoform]

Riddle me this, blades-for-brains: lose me once I'll come back stronger, lose me twice I'm gone forever. What am I?

Who is this

There’s only three people on this ship who would blatantly insult me to my face and about fifty others who will do it online.

The answer is your teeth, which I’ll bust out if you don’t come forward coward

[whirls-holoform]

Yo, whirly-dick, I've got like $50 and some change in my pocket, that enough for you to fly over and break my spine??

Motherfucker i’ll break your spine for free and steal your money

This is a stupid offer.

[whirls-holoform]

See sometimes it’s difficult to write stuff that other people want to read because like

I am not a submissive person and have never been a submissive person ever in my life

So when I read other people fill self-insert request and it’s like ‘they giggled’ or ‘they shyly’ or ‘they bashfully’ I’m over here like

the fuck they are I can’t get immersed into this. I’m not a shy person, never have been, so it’s like, I want to write different things than that but also I feel like most things I read are just so....terribly commonplace and overdone that it kills my productivity to write anything at all.

I’ve been writing for a long time, but when you read and reread the same rehashed shit over and over again it gets really hard to write when all you see is the same stuff, and it’s stuff you don’t want to make.

Which is why it’s hard to fill requests because that’s kind of what I assume everyone wants.

[whirls-holoform]

Hey all guess whose FERAL

Cyclonus is a bitch and he can meet me in the pit.