not that serious

The things I can't tell my friends and family

[whispersofthelake]

If I hear someone talk about the big four (mindfulness, meditation, self-care and therapy) one more time, I'm going to leap across this table and strangle everyone I can get my hands on

[whispersofthelake]

I'm so conflicted and confused

I love my partner but they're more like a friend to me. I love my friends and think you can have sex with friends so that complicates my feelings. They don't have romantic attraction and over time I just think that I realize I need that. I've pulled back the "I love you"s and stopped trying to be romantic or hope for that from him. He's definitely noticed and is latching on to me hard without bringing anything up.

We're long distance and I see him in a few months. He's been insisting on wanting to hold my hand, go on dates and cuddle when I get there. I really think it's because I used to want those things from him and now he sees I don't want that. It feels like he's trying to convince me of something or just latching on. Idk. I don't wanna shame him for being insecure but I need him to step off or talk to me.

I think the hardest part is I need to get out of my parents house and he was gonna be my escape. It's utterly crushing to think I'm gonna be here for another year or so. The thought makes me wanna get on the sewer slide daily.

If I stay home and ditch him, I have to sacrifice my mental and physical health. I'll earn more money however.

If I go with him, I sacrifice my money and possibly my mental health but my physical health will improve.

I feel like I'm stuck with some bad options and not a lot of ways out

[whispersofthelake]

Cuddly Whiskers is complicated for me. Because I see his past both in my past and my future. No achievements I strive for make me happy when I get them, I assume the same will happen when I get my degree. I won't be fulfilled by it. And the volunteer work and help I do and have done have felt similar. I am empty.

I'm miserable. I've been miserable for over a decade. It doesn't have to be this way but I don't see a way out yet. For now, I will grieve all that I am releasing and letting go of. Maybe Cuddly Whiskers did the same before he found happiness

[theonegod420]

Sometimes you have to take responsibility for your own happiness 💯

[whispersofthelake]

It's really hard to have groups of friends with surface level connection. It's not that they're bad but when you NEED the deep support... gosh staring at a phone filled with contacts is... sad

[whispersofthelake]

How little time I have between times that remind me of trauma and the times the weather takes my joy as well. Everyone has 12 months but me. I'm left with a measley 5 if I'm lucky

[possumsinatrenchcoat]

Reblog to give the person you reblogged it from the energy to do one (1) chore or maybe many

[eliotbaum]

An illustration of Downtime in The Hidden Isle.

You can pre-order the TTRPG here ✨

[whispersofthelake]

There is something very poetic about me abandoning my own shoes to help move my parents. What's even more poetic was when they took the boxes and shut the door in my face

[whispersofthelake]

If I had been born a dog

They would've put me to sleep years ago

At least I'd have had a soft touch

Just once

[whispersofthelake]

Didn't think the dishwasher breaking was gonna be the final straw but here we are. Sobbing while clutching the melted piece

[sacred-portal]

[whispersofthelake]

Hey, universe? I need like 5 minutes of you not proving my nihilism correct so I can have a little joy as a treat

[whispersofthelake]

I ash the cigarette and exhale

It almost feels like heavenly meditation

The smoke caressing my lips

Taking with it the last of my stagnation

Smoke break's over

Time to endure again

[whispersofthelake]

There are things I am fundamentally incapable of doing. I can't do what I used to be able to. My body was broken, not of my own consent, as my brain scrambled to save itself. That's what I've always done: save myself.

Yet

You sit there, possibly cracks in your own body, maybe even broken yourself, and judge me. O don't deserve to be punished for what someone else broke and how I am repairing it. You don't get to sit there and criticize how I SAVED MYSELF

I'm sorry it's ugly. I'm sorry it's confusing. I'm sorry that at 3, 5, 10, 13, etc I wasn't able to save myself in the manner that is comfortable to you.

So if you dislike my healing, you should've saved me yourself

[quotemadness]

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some storied don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next.

Gilder Radner

[quotemadness]

Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.

Warren Buffett