New To Being Alone All Over Again

Whitewashed walls Whitewashed mind

[whitewashed-mind]

i miss having you as my something to look forward to

[whitewashed-mind]

I think I'm jealous of my own body. The more of it I show him the less of me he sees. Doesn't he realize he's losing his best friend inside of his shiny new toy?

<3

[whitewashed-mind]

I didn't think it was possible to vomit over emotions. I thought it was a cliché and an exaggeration to prove a point Until I saw her wrap her arms around you like she owned you Talk about your eyes like they were her property Run her fingers through your hair like it was her place Like you were hers And my stomach turned and my fingers went cold because you'll never touch them again and I understood

[whitewashed-mind]

[whitewashed-mind]

[whitewashed-mind]

I'm in love with the way she laughs I'm in love with her eyes I'm in love with the way she accidentally curses around children and then curses because she accidentally cursed around children. I'm in love with Her poetic confusion I'm in love with the way she fights to stay afloat even when she's tired of living I'm in love with her dimples and her little blonde streak I'm in love with the way her voice squeaks on high notes and how she smirks instead of smiling I'm in love with her passion and her talent Her makeup and her creativity Her music taste The way she stutters when she's angry or sad Her love for her family Her childlike wonder Her ability to forgive anything Her advice Her ability to psychoanalyze anyone The way she can't sit still The way she hums to herself Her passion Her love Her heart. I ways wanted someone to fall in love with those details about me. But no one even noticed them. Until I realized that I had already noticed them. I was already in love with them. I will laugh at my own jokes. I will check out my own ass I'll send myself nudes I'll take myself on my own dates I'll admire my own reflection I don't need your validation When I can validate myself. I am a goddess. A princess. An angel. A blessing. You are lucky to have my attention My warmth My love They are gifts and you should be honored. I am beautiful and deserve admiration. Even if that admiration is my own. If you want to love me, feel free. But If you choose not to I won't cry. I don't need anyone to love me When I am still falling in love with myself.

[underthemilkywaysittingonth-blog]

[whitewashed-mind]

I've given you my best. Why does she get the best of you?

[whitewashed-mind]

I wish you knew how happy you made me. I’m so hard to please and I never say thanks but every atom in my body was happier when you were near. You made me okay.

Thank you

[whitewashed-mind]

[whitewashed-mind]

What if I don't want to love you like this anymore? What if I love you too much to only have half of you What if I'm starting to fall for you and might never recover What if I don't want to be a game anymore

What if I can't

[whitewashed-mind]

If you were the reason I wake up Wouldn't that be reason enough

I want to be with you

[whitewashed-mind]

I care too much. And I'm sorry.

[whitewashed-mind]

I fell in love with a boy. I fell in love with his tiny smile and the way he laughs I fell in love with his singing and his awful jokes I fell in love wth his goofy attitude I fell in love with the way he gives me butterflies I fell in love with the way he calls me baby where all his friends can see I fell in love with a boy in all of his entirety

His girlfriend did too

[whitewashed-mind]

Eight years. Eight long years of wind in our hair and breathless laughter Growing up side-by-side and hand-in-hand Whispering my darkest secrets to you, only to have you shout them to the world.

You're making it hard to miss you

[whitewashed-mind]

I get confused when people unfollow me here Like what did I do? Am I being sad wrong? Am I not being sad often enough?

[whitewashed-mind]

Why did I let myself get so close? I swore I wouldn't let you sway me take me change me Not so soon after my last heartbreak But I did I tore down my own caution tape and broke my own rules for you. You. My lazy smile. My quickened heart rate. My happy place. My one exception.

And you still left