I'm Sam. I'm a 31 year old with a weirdly optimistically cynical view of the world. I'm always willing to listen. agender/pansexual/homoromantic (they/she)
Nothing like a cold autumn day to come back to tumblr
I feel really nostalgic right now. I'm listening to Kupla and Jamie Paige and it's chilly in the house and I'm in a cute outfit and smoking...
I got irritated earlier, I wanted to get in a fight with my ex. He and I left a lot of things unsettled and I want to actually lay out to him all the ways he hurt and drained me in the last couple years we were together.
I don't think I'll ever get to stand up for myself to him.
That will be ok one day though. And I'm allowed to feel whatever about him, we spent almost 12 years together. Longer if you count the friendship before the dating.
Stephanie and I are happy and engaged and life is good right now.
We're moving in the Spring or Summer next year. It'd be cool if it happened before our birthdays, but I don't think it will. Who knows though, life has a way of doing what it pleases.
Anyway, I just wanted to type something and where better to do that than on my blog I guess. Hi tumblr. Thanks for being here <3
i think the praise ive recieved as ive grown up coupled with my complete lack of self esteem has somehow made me like... immune to compliments? i know its pretty common to be bad at taking compliments but i feel like its more than that. i feel like when someone compliments my nail art or anything else really i smile and thank them and some times i even indulge in talking about it. but as soon as the interaction is over my brain throws out the positivity/seratonin/whatever.
it sucks. im hopeful for some new insights from therapy. fingers crossed.
i was so good at this water sort mobile game and i’m stuck on level like 348 and i’m convinced this one is impossible. i was stuck on it for weeks like a year ago and then quit and came back to it recently with a new hunger and vengeance and it’s kicking my ass i swear
You would if you were tired enough. You would if you were hungry enough. You would if your mind and body had been worn down enough, through pain or disease or toil or violent struggle. You might if you were put on the wrong medicine, or you got the wrong kind of head injury, or you were forced to choose between someone else and yourself. You might if your livelihood was staked on it, or all your hopes and dreams. You might if you didn't know what else to do, if it's what you were taught or if nobody taught you anything else.
I have not been worn down in most of these ways. I have lived a remarkably privileged life. But I have been worn down in some ways. And they were enough to teach me that in the wrong circumstances, any of us can become someone we don't want to be. It's worth keeping that in mind.
Summary: Y/N ends up surprising Josh at one of his games, which leads to Josh knowing that he has to play his best to impress his woman.
Pairing/Fandom: Josh Allen x Wife! Reader (NFL)
Requested: Yes/No @thedoveesquire
Warning(s): none that I am aware of! Also the game is going to be a buffalo home game for the plot so!
*Not edited*
Y/N's heart ached at the way her husband had left their house upset. Her husband was the quarterback of the Buffalo Bills, and they were playing the Miami Dolphins today. She had told her husband that she would not be able to make the game, because when she woke up, she had every intention of going to her friend's birthday party. That was until her best friend texted the group chat last minute saying she was sick and rescheduling her birthday celebration.
It wasn't that Y/N was putting her friend before her husband, it was the fact that the celebration was planned before the NFL couple knew Josh's NFL schedule this season. Now that her plans were cancelled, she was planning on surprising her husband at his game. She knew that he got anxiety before all of his games, no matter how many times he stated it was not anxiety. She was guaranteed a season pass in the VIP box, seeing as she was married to the quarterback.
After getting herself ready, she left their house and headed towards the bills stadium. Her custom jersey that had been made for her was what she had chosen to wear. This would have been one of the first games that she had missed, she tried her best to make as many games a season as she could. Y/N usually made all the home games but struggled with away games sometimes.
Getting to the stadium was hectic with the traffic, seeing as many people were trying to find parking spots and there were people walking to make it into the stadium. Once a parking spot was found, Y/N slipped her VIP ticket around her neck and headed towards the stadium. Once inside the stadium she was quickly escorted to the Bills VIP box and left to herself with other significant others and parents there as well.
"Y/N! I'm so happy you're here, Josh said you weren't going to be able to make it." LaVonne Allen spoke as she noticed her daughter-in-law. Unlike most people, Y/N had a great relationship with Josh's family the same way that he was loved by hers.
Y/N quickly pulled Josh's mother into a quick hug before backing away, "Plans changed last minute." she explained to the woman before grabbing a bottle of water and going to sit down next to her in-laws.
"I'm sure Josh will be happy to have you here." Joel stated upon seeing his daughter-in-law wearing his son's jersey number.
"My plan was to surprise him." She spoke standing next to her added family.
It was only a matter of time before the stadium was filled and the two teams were announced on the field. The national anthem was sung, and the game was kicked off with the bills having the ball first.
The game started off a bit slow, seeing that the bills had turned over the ball in the first couple minutes and that the dolphins were in the Bills territory. It made Y/N anxious to see how the bills were playing and she knew her husband better than anyone. He wasn't focused on the game the way that he should have been.
After Miami had kicked a field goal and missed, the Bills had the ball back and was running it down the field. Once the second quarter came, the bills were at 1st and 10, with Miami using a timeout. While timeout was happening, the NFL tv cam turned to the VIP box to capture Y/N, since many fans know of her and Josh being married.
On the field, during timeout Stefon lightly hit Josh getting his attention. "I thought you said Y/N wasn't coming?" He asked.
"she isn't." Josh muttered before turning his attention back to the huddle.
"She's here, man." Stefon told him before pointing up to the Bills VIP box. Stefon waved at Y/N before turning back to the huddle.
Josh wore a grin on his face as he noticed his wife standing next to his parents, in the place she always was for home games. Eventually, he tore his gaze and got back to his team. "We got this, let's go out here and win!"
Stefon gave him a pat on the back with a smirk before it was time to resume the game. He made a mental note to thank Y/N later.
After Josh had noticed his wife at the game, it had taken a big turn. The bills kept getting touchdowns every time they had the ball and they had even stopped Miami from getting far.
At half, the bills were up 35-0, which was rare for Miami to not score anything. It was just proof of how amazing the bills were doing and how they had stopped the dolphins before they could get anywhere or they had thrown interceptions and given the bills the ball.
"Josh is doing great." Y/N spoke to her mother-in-law as she took a sip from her plastic cup.
"Because his good luck charm showed up." Mrs. Allen told her new daughter, making sure the younger girl knew that she was her son's good luck charm.
Y/N blushed at the comment before taking another sip of her drink to hide her red cheeks. Josh had told her multiple timed that she was his good luck charm, even before they tied the knot. It made her feel warm on the inside to know he thought that, but she knew it was all in his head.
"Mrs. Allen." A deep voice spoke coming up behind the two women. Both turned towards the man, "Josh is requesting to talk to you for a moment." the security guard spoke to the younger woman. Y/N placed her drink down on the table beside her before following the security guard out of the VIP box.
She figured that she would be going to the locker room, just because halftime would be over soon and they would be going back on the field. The security guard led her exactly where she felt she was going to go. Y/N thanked him before walking inside the room slowly.
"Can I just say that you are the best for coming here." Stefon spoke as he blocked Y/N path to her husband. "We would've lost over him sulking about you." he added.
Y/N let out a laugh, "I'm glad I could help." she joked before going around him. She knew Josh would probably be towards the back seeing as he liked to do his "pre-game ritual." Which she knew was his anxiety, but she lets him call it what he wants.
"Did you need me, Mr. Allen?" Y/N asked softly, getting Josh's attention so he'd look at her.
Josh grinned seeing his wife in her jersey, "I always need you." He replied pulling her into a hug. Y/N gave him a squeeze before leaning back a bit. "What happened to Y/F/N's birthday?"
Y/N shrugged, "She's sick, so I decided to surprise my husband."
Josh nodded, his hands running up and down her sides. "Definitely surprised." He muttered before leaning closer trying to steal a kiss, only to be met with her finger.
"You know I try not to be rude, but your so called 'pre-game ritual' is gross and you're going to have to brush your teeth before I kiss you." Y/N explained pulling her finger away.
"Already did." he stated in a 'matter of fact' manner. "I know you, baby, we've been together long enough for me to learn you."
Y/N rolled her eyes before placing her lips on his for a moment before pulling back. "I'm going to go find my place, I will see you after the game." she spoke softly before placing one more kiss on his lips and leaving the locker room. The boys were outside waiting for Josh by the time she was returning to her seat.
After the game started back up, it felt like it went by fast. The bills ended up winning 41-0 and all the Bills fans were happy for the home team. Everyone was trying to leave the stadium, or they were lined up outside trying to get someone to sign something or meet one of the players. Y/N had decided to wait for her husband to get done with post-conference and then travel home together.
"There's josh's wife!", "I wish I was her.", "How'd she get so lucky to marry Josh Allen?" conversations were going on around Y/n as she walked herself with a security guard towards the locker room. It was no secret that she got some hate every now and then. That's why Josh always made sure that she was escorted by someone at all timed. She made sure to wave at the ones who were taking pictures or giving her smiles.
She always treated Josh's fans and supporters kindly. There was no reason not too and she loved being able to make someone's day just because she knows Josh.
"Thank you!" Y/N told the guard kindly when she stopped outside the locker room. She knocked on the door before pushing it open and peeking her head in with her eyes covered. "You guys decent?"
a course of "Yeah's" was heard before she uncovered her eyes and slipped into the locker room. Most of the guys were shirtless from just taking a shower but had the rest of their clothes on.
"Congratulations, you guys!" she spoke loudly as she made her way further into the locker room. The coach never truly liked her being in there, but he never said anything to her. It wasn't a very common occurrence, only for certain days. The men thanked her before going back to what they were doing. Making her turn back to her mission to find her husband before his post conference. "There you are! How did Josh Allen manage to pull a 41-0?" Y/N asked as Josh slipped a fresh shirt over his head.
"My good luck charm was here, and I knew I had to impress her." He shrugged as he walked closer to her.
"You already have me for the rest of our lives," She replied as she wrapped her arms around his neck. "You don't have to impress me anymore."
"I do." He assured. "All because you agreed to marry me doesn't mean I'm going to stop dating you babe." He mumbled before placing a soft kiss on Y/N's head.
"I love you so much." Y/N whispered, playing with his damp hair from his shower.
"I love you more and that's a promise." He replied back pressing his lips to hers.
*Not edited*
Author's Note: I hate the way I ended this, but I hope it was okay. I wish I could have written this a bit different, but it is what it is. I honestly love writing NFL request right now. There are so many guys that are worth writing for that I may have to update my list! My cousin has been bugging me to write for Aaron, but I am not sure about that yet.
literally addicted to posting. i love that posts of mine from up to a decade ago still appear on my dash. i put words out on the internet that long ago and they somehow make it back to me . insane
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