Black & White

"Spell your name with different letters..." - Donte Collins

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[infelice]

Do it anyway.

- Mother Teresa

[why-is-it-ve-ryco-ld]

Death of a soul

The sound of sirens is defeaning But the sound of silence is unbearable. Looking at the starless sky tonight is saddening But looking into your soulless eyes is devastating. What happened to the love and hope That was stirred in your heart That fuel that gased you up To be genuinely jumpy And excited About anything And everything Oh you just couldn't stay put But now you're nothing But Staying put Shut lips Head constantly held low Eyes glued to the floor What happened To the girl I used to know Before? Is she ever coming back?

[why-is-it-ve-ryco-ld]

An excerpt from a book I may never write

“I feel lost.“ I said out loud.

“Why so?” He asked with a bit of confusion in his voice. I looked up at the night sky. There were hardly any stars to see, and it made the moon look so lonely. I wonder what the moon would feel tonight, if it could harness feelings like humans do. Would it be as lonely as I am?

“I miss having someone believe I’m more than an emotional wreck. I miss having someone see me the same way when I am strong, as to when I am weak.” I said.

He looked at me blankly. He stayed silent for a few seconds until he let out a loud sigh. He said,

“You’re always going to have to miss someone having to believe in you. People always come and go. So you have to stick to the one person who’d never leave. You have to believe in yourself.“

[why-is-it-ve-ryco-ld]

To The One (Friend) That Got Away

Unlike most friends, we started off on the wrong foot. You and I have been kept from each other by false words and rumors. I didn’t like you the day you arrived in 4th grade. I didn’t like you because you were someone I might just be friends with. The right friend I’ve been looking for. Insane, isn’t it? Why would I shove myself away from the perfect friend? Rumors. Remember, my  best friend at the time was part of the trouble makers. I went with it, pretending to dislike you, pretending to think badly of you when really, I thought how cool it’d be to be close to you. Oh but you know how the story went. Turns out my best friend and the rest of her trouble-making friends were talking about me behind my back. And I guess that’s how we started actually getting to know each other for real. 

I loved to talk, you didn’t. To be honest, I felt kind of relieved that you were my constant listener, like a diary. I liked how I’d say something weird that went about on my day and you would still look at me the same. Although your silence made me feel uneasy when I rant, it was the best comfort you’ve given. You stayed true to your part. When I needed an advice, you’d give me the realest options, even if they sound tragic. When I needed to cry, you sat there silently. Then when I fake a smile you pull me to a tight hug. You just always knew what to do. And you still do. I wasn’t very fond of the other people trying to get your attention. Selfish, I called myself, but you laughed and hugged me instead. You told me it didn’t matter because I’d always be your idiot. You don’t always say you love me, but I know you do, because I feel it. You’d constantly shove my hugs away, and greet me coldly when we see each other, but I know deep inside, you’ve been looking forward to it. I love how we were. I still do. Because even if that’s been years ago, we’re still the same people we were. You’re still the greatest friend I’ve ever had, and I, to you. 

Sadly, I did the same thing I was very much good at: shoving people away. I shoved you away because I couldn’t take the family problem we both were experiencing. Since we’re close, our families were close as well. A great opportunity for my family to cause trouble to your finances. I’ve always been guilty of that. I see your mom having a hard time because of her help to us. I loved your mom like she was my own. And I know she loved me and my brothers too. But I couldn’t take what she was going through, neither could I take what my mom was also going through. I told myself that if I hadn’t bridged our moms, we both wouldn’t have been having a hard time. I didn’t want to regret, because it was your family who welcomed us when we didn’t have anywhere else to go. It was your family who wanted us around for Christmas, because dad’s not home. And for that I’m forever grateful. All that had to come to an end because I didn’t want to see another fake smile from our moms, or hear another “Don’t worry about us, just be good in school”. I felt like I was the main blame for everything your family is putting up with, so as to mine. So I started being cold. Started being mean. I did that, also because it’s like God perfectly lined the stars for me. When I was hesitant to shove you away, here comes a new friend excluding me in the Team’s adventure. I knew you’d be better off with someone like her. So I started looking for someone else to be with. Our worlds started drifting. I became the same jerk I was in 4th grade. And you were so angry at me for being that way to our dear friend, as well. And I’m sorry, but that was what I thought was the best way to cut ties. I didn’t wanna cause you any more trouble than I have. But you guys still showed me the love I didn’t deserve. You guys got my back, and didn’t stab it like others did. You defended me in my absence, and you loved me so silently. You still do. 

Things have changed, quite drastically. It’s hard. I look back to who I was with you guys. Obnoxious, loud and weird. but happy. So, so happy. I find myself wondering what happened to that person I used to be when I’m with you guys. I miss jumping into different fantasies with you guys. I missed having unplanned sleepovers, and burning your kitchen (but save it in time as to not cause a dangerous fire).

I miss you. We’re worlds apart, but I wish you well. I hope we meet again, soon.

[why-is-it-ve-ryco-ld]

Who would dare to live?

It's when everything's okay

Life will twist you around

Bring you to the ground

Til you're on your knees

Begging God for His mercy

And you don't know how

To breathe

It's when everything's all right

Life will give you a reason

To take that knife

That gun

Those out of date pills

That you've been keeping

At the back of your cupboard

It's when the sun is so up high

Life will rain down on you

And make you cry

Let the tears flow down your cheeks

As the raindrops kiss your face

It'll hurt

Deep inside your chest

A thorn

Deep inside your heart

It's when you got it all together

Life will bring you down

And break your walls

You'll crumble

And fall

Life,

Is so tragic

But that is the very beauty of it

Because if life

Were any simple

Who would dare

To live?

[why-is-it-ve-ryco-ld]

T.S.O.W.A.

The sound of walking away Is the silence That wraps around The most audible footsteps After all those unheard screams After all those silent pleas and hopes To God who knew better To God who knew your worth My dear, you are not worth this This so-called love That leaves you wondering Why the moon shines brighter than the sun That makes you understand Why a wolf howls to its beauty and hides away from The light The tragedy of having to feel comfort In the days you can only have yourself In those days, you are not even yourself This so-called love That taught you to apologize After every single thing you do Constantly blaming yourself This so-called love that conceals And does not compel A love that triggers That doesn't ignite or spark My dear, please Walk away And it'll be the loudest silence He'll ever hear

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[why-is-it-ve-ryco-ld]

There are so many things I would like to say to you. So many thoughts that have passed my mind but never told you between the stories that I tell and the news that I share simply because I wanted to keep some thoughts of you to myself.

In the span of 5 months, between the first day I said

“Hello, what’s your name?”,

how you were taken aback, nervously smiling,

And the days during the month’s worth vacay where we missed each other. Our phones constantly notifying each other’s message, tweet or post, talking about things that happened even if it was awkward. How we simply talked about what’s going on between intervals that took forever or the next day because either one of us is out or still not awake.

That was a one of a kind 5 months, to me.

It was clicking with a stranger but delayed by an abrupt judgement of character. It was colliding worlds that were almost parallel but strongly connected by the one thing we really love to do: eat.

And we don’t care where, as long as the food is good and our wallets won’t empty. It is where money wasn’t always an issue but the time because we always had the time

It was you knowing the ropes and me being new. It was you leading the way and me learning a lot from you. But it was also you trying to be someone you want to be, while I was already accepting of the you who I came to meet.

Such an unlikely turn of events, you and me

And I’m just so glad we were able to meet.

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/

[inkskinned]

I am sick of the girl being pretty once her glasses come off. I’m sick of the boy suddenly staring at her because she’s taken her hair out of a bun. I’m sick of the dances that she said she didn’t want to attend suddenly being the place where she shows up and learns to live.    I want a movie where she gets kissed because her lab goggles left circles around her eye sockets. Where she doesn’t go to the dance and isn’t ashamed of it. Where she wins the science fair and the way the blue ribbon looks on her makes somebody’s knees weak.   I want a movie where the girl doesn’t get tamed. Where she’s still a badass bitch at the end of it. Where she doesn’t need a man because she has a killer girlfriend who is a cute nerdy radio technician. Where her freckles don’t get concealed on the big night. Where she shows up to prom in a suit and a model on her arm.   I want a movie where the queen bee is also a 4.0 student. Where she wears makeup and styles her hair and gets her work done. Where the pretty girl is also pure of heart, works on the weekends at soup kitchens, shows up with heels on. Where the queen bee lets the new girl have the boy because she doesn’t see the point in trying to compete. Where they end up friends at the end and the boy ends up with nothing.    I want a movie where girls are art without having to be painted over. Where we are beautiful without reason, where we don’t need to prove ourselves as being worth a boy’s affections. I want a movie where we don’t have to be secretly fuckable in order to get a happy ending.

We look good in a red ballgown and also while reading a book and also while burning this whole thing down. // r.i.d (via inkskinned)

[inkskinned]

I don’t mean to be dramatic but God sent me a cat today. I had forgotten how much I need physical touch. It’s kind of sad that sitting on a curb petting a stray cat kept me sane bit I’m relying on anything these days. I think that’s something small and beautiful if so sad it makes you laugh. When you’re at the point everything hurts, you find the tiniest things as an excuse to fall back in love with the earth. What I mean is that today it was a stray cat but yesterday it was a good book and tomorrow maybe it will be a rainstorm. It would be nice to be so happy a cat is just another good moment instead of the one ray of light in a dark tunnel. But the thing about being trapped here is that everything good glows moreso. We covet the moments others let go of. Isn’t that bad good. Isn’t that beautiful ugly. Isn’t that horrifying and satisfying and absolutely bittersweet.

[wnq-writers]

If you’re reading this and you’re not happy right now, you will be. I don’t know what you’re going through. Everyone has their own type of darkness that they’re trying to make sense of, but no matter how dark it gets, you’ll do it. Things will get better, you will get better. Life will become brighter, and you’ll look back on days like these when you couldn’t look forward to the next hour, let alone the next day. When you do, you’ll smile, maybe even laugh, and it’ll hit you. You turned out just fine.

Maxwell Diawuoh (via wnq-writers)

[extramadness]

Ease your soul here

[wnq-writers]

And I came into self-destruction when falling in love with you..

simpleperfecttanned  (via wnq-writers)

[why-is-it-ve-ryco-ld]

childhood and the simpler life

I couldn’t fathom how fast temperatures change in a room. One minute I could still feel the warm summer feels, and suddenly, a cold breeze floods through the windows and sends chills down my spine.

What was going on with the weather today? I thought.

I gazed outside my window as I rested my chin on my right arm. The stars were absent today. Probably it’s because I’m in the city. But more so, I felt like the earth was growing cold. It was growing cold to me. I miss the oak trees that used to scatter in my view, while the bees and butterflies would frequently play around like children floating over flower to flower. I miss the tall, spiky grass that painted the ground with life as shades of pinks, yellows and whites scatter like dots on a graph. I miss the the smell of dirt each time the atmosphere grows thick and moist. I miss the sun’s kisses on my skin as I play all day with Rufus, my buddy ol’ pal. I miss my childhood. I miss the simpler life. I just wish I could go back to the time when life didn’t hand me a heavy burden: growing up.

[iglovequotes]

http://iglovequotes.net/