Not A Blogger, but occasionally I am entertaining. @whyamisofreakingawesome - Tumblr Blog

nothing makes me feel more well adjusted than hearing about the problems that straight people in the periphery of my life are always having

lakevida

my aunt's new guy broke into my ex uncle's garage and filled his bowling balls with caulk

mothric

catchymemes

theconcealedweapon

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

eat him out wednesday or whatever. i've stopped keeping track

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

do i look like a person who knows what day of the week it is

anxietyproblem

theconcealedweapon

theprofessional-amateur

Got a rare dopamine boost scrolling bluesky and seeing:

1) US politicians in deep red districts being confronted by their increasingly angry constituents.

2) Seeing the size and number of protests happening at tesla dealerships (scroll TeslaTakedown or check out Alex Winter’s feed)

3) Vermont showing up to scream at vance and ruin his ski holiday

theprofessional-amateur

People are out there being loud and getting louder

Protests are happening and they are getting bigger

Town halls are overflowing and when politicians run, people are starting to meet them at their offices or vacation spots

Let’s keep it going

theprofessional-amateur

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Rama (@ramalauw)

#Instagram

wakingfromthewater

This was shared as a "bad" joke but I was so charmed by it I've been thinking about it for days.

artistic-octopus

wordswithkittywitch

Moose at the next table: No they don't. I've been waiting here for an hour.

anxietyproblem

damnfool-of-a-took

we hunt the mighty pasta BEAST

and breadsticks are its BONES

ALFREDO FLOWS inside its veins

its organs are CALZONES

damnfool-of-a-took

LASAGNA plates its armored hide

and should the hero dare

you'll find the noisome Jaws are strung

with garlic angel hair

oscillatingheatpipe

The poem is written in common hymn meter (alternating lines of 8 and 6 syllables, usually iambs), so there are many possible tunes you can use to sing it:

Amazing Grace

Pokemon theme song

Gilligan's Island theme

House of the Rising Sun

O Little Town of Bethlehem

Joy to the World

Feel free to add any favorites!

i-scan-your-poems

Full scansion:

◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – we hunt the mighty pasta BEAST ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – and bread/sticks are / its BONES ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – ALFRE/DO FLOWS / inside / its veins ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – its or/gans are / CALZONES ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – LASAG/NA plates / its ar/mored hide ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – and should / the he/ro dare ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – you'll find / the noi/some Jaws / are strung ◡ – / ◡ – / ◡ – with gar/lic an/gel hair

metrical form: common hymn meter (iambic tetrameter + iambic trimeter, or iambic heptameter) rhyme scheme: ABCB

beyondthisdarkhouse

This is some Lewis Caroll-tier shit

bisexualwario

thedunwichwhorer

Go a little fart

gizmoera-deactivated20240601

be ded

Go a little fart

Dig a little dee

Reach a little

Catch the Cat

and pass it on

moved--306389

shamebats

memeuplift

angelsamericana

i love how everyone on this website interacts with each other in ways that are so socially impermissible irl. how did we get here

angelsamericana

like i know none of us call people we barely know "bestie" out loud. i know none of us say "i am kissing you on the mouth" in response to every mild compliment. but god i wish we did

angelsamericana

(recent) tumblr exclusive linguistic phenomena:

bestie (said to someone you've never spoken to directly)

so false worstie

we are holding hands

i am kissing you on the mouth

you're going in the soup

variations on "your dad looks gnc af" "YOURE INSANE"

mutuals (technically this exists on other social media but not in spirit)

[gunshots] (people say this on twitter but they say it wrong)

using periods incorrectly to. fine tune the cadence of a line

my beloved/my beloathed