Shake It Up

Sydney, 22. Raised in Texas. I like pretty much anything. This is probably not very helpful

[vigilmaker-deactivated20260810]

[ashstfu]

my internal monologue is better than any podcast. wish you guys could hear this shit

[shwagerr]

petting a dog and it goes to someone else

[vergak]

[skinks]

the penalty box in hockey is such a funny concept to me. big fighty men go in the naughty cube. imprisoned for sports crimes

[runcibility]

Go to the terrarium and think about your punching, you knife-footed ice-gremlin

[nealashitposts]

I recently found out why my mom would never sleep around me when I was a kid. Like she’d never let herself take naps or sleep if I was awake, ever. Or if she did, she would lock her bedroom door. So when I was 6, I was asleep in my bed in the middle of the night when I hear a loud bang, like a pot being dropped and come out to the living room to see my mom standing by the window, with just a huge pile of spaghetti all over the sill, and a pot on the ground, and I ’m like “Are you gonna eat all that?” And ya’ll she get’s BIG MAD and yells at me and chases me to my room but then a little while later a bunch of cops show up and ask me a bunch of random ass questions about my art? Like this one cop lady keeps asking me to draw dragons for her?! And they seem mad as hell

I didn’t want to get arrested so I just never asked my mom for spaghettis after that. Lesson, learned. Don’t ask mom for spaghettis or she’ll call the damn police on you. 

So I have this memory in my head, and it goes unquestioned until I say it outload for the first time a few months back and as soon as I say the words “When I was six, my mom called the cops on me for asking for spaghettis” My adult logic slams into place and is like “Hang on. Your mother definatly did not call the police on a 6 year old for asking for spaghetti.” 

So obviously that’s not what really went down. I call up my mom to tell her how I remember it and on top of her figuring out why her kid has always been really cagey around spaghettis for the last 3 decades she tells me what really happened. 

So on that night, a man tried to break into our house through the front window. It was just my mom, and her kids so she did what she felt she had too and shot him in the head. He’d been wearing a helmet, which landed on the floor under the window.

Now I just want ya’ll to put yourselves in my moms shoes for a minute here. This woman has just taken a human life. The trauma of that- the instant agony, the panic, the guilt, the fear- all of it hitting her at once, her only solace the knowledge that her children are safe. She protected her daughters. No matter the cost to her soul- her children are safe.

Then she looks up and sees her six year old staring at the inside of this mans head before saying “Are you gonna eat all that?” 

[thedorkdionysia]

[vethyourhalflingmother]

my biology professor has such a chaotic energy about him, last week i went to his office hours and somehow we ended up on the topic of gay marriage:

he said that when he lived in texas they changed the law to define marriage as “between a man and a woman in a house of religious worship with the intention to have children” so he filed his taxes as single and when they called him up like “you filed married last year” he was like “you changed the law, i was married by a judge in a courthouse and i have no intention of having kids” and they told him “you know who that law was for” and i guess he hung up on them and did not, in fact, pay taxes as a married man that year

[fromwolfsandgods]

Chaotic good

[swordshapedleaves]

NO! This is Lawful Good! He is following the LAW! Chaotic doesn't just mean cheeky!

[dragkingandreweldritch]

this is like how Sweden stopped classifying homosexuality as an illness because people started a campaign of calling in gay to work

malicious compliance is one of the best tools in the arsenal of civil rights activism

[dracogotgame]

Always reblog for malicious compliance

[yeahiwasintheshit]

[dsmsix]

[michaelgovehateblog]

I would like to wish everyone an uneventful new year

[michaelgovehateblog]

It's only November and this is already getting notes again, you guys are really manifesting this energy early for the new year

[darkskyatnight]

Please let this be a normal New Year…

[zwierzoczlekoupior]

this is the kind of post we'll laugh/cry at in 7 months sorry

[cute-animals-only]

her soul trying to get back into her body

[dankmemeuniversity]

[amargedom]

“It is a lonely feeling when someone you care about becomes a stranger.”

—

[broad-city]

[lsleofskye]

Untitled

[weaver-z]

It's really funny to take Spanish with people from different Spanish-speaking countries, because the ones from South American countries are like "Yeah no one uses vosotros, we don't know what it's doing here" and the ones from Europe are like "If you don't give our beloved second-person plural its due respect, the Hounds will find you"

[breadcunt]

Why would they speak spanish in europe

[weaver-z]

Spain.......

[princeofnerds]

[queer-cosette]

I love how tumblr is full of people who aren’t afraid to hang around on the bottom rung of the moron ladder. You make me feel better about every stupid thing I’ve ever done in my life including the time I glued fake moustaches to my eyebrows.

[wildersage]

the impulse to hide what I'm doing at my computer still sits so deep even tho I'm literally never looking at anything objectionable , the door will open and I'll hurry to close the page like oh fuck no one can know I'm looking at the Wikipedia page for the Balkans

[memeclassheroes]

[moonprismpowernomakeup]