A Mediocre Life

My blog concerning my mediocre life, average thoughts, blandness in general

[whymmkay]

Mood

Mood: listening to Beyoncé songs while drinking hard root beer

[whymmkay]

Struggles at school

Person attempting to initiate conversation : what's up?

Me: not my math mark

[whymmkay]

Struggles in my household

Me (at wifi) : what's good?

Wifi: not me.

[whymmkay]

Summer Hating

No this is not about an enemy I made over the summer. Tell me more tell me more like did they back stab you? Hahaha look at me with my pop culture references! Anyway, this is about summer. I live in Canada and the summers are just super humid and it is absolutely horrible. I have an extremely low tolerance for heat. Perhaps I should stop wearing skinny jeans all the time but that involves liking my legs enough for shorts and that is not happening. Perhaps I should learn how to adjust? No. I play rugby and that hasn't gotten me used to this damned weather that feels like satan is interrogating us all but we can't hear him because we have headphones in so he is slowly cooking us. That's not the only reason I dislike summer though, I am a teenager. I am extremely bored. I tried so hard to get a job but no luck so I am stuck bumming around because I am horrible at making plans. I. Miss. School. No I am. Not ashamed of saying that because school is my life. I miss seeing people every day and getting to socialize all the time. I know a good amount of people to talk to at school but not hang out with outside of school so the summers are boring. I miss talking to teachers because teachers are so cool! I extremely miss classes. Learning every day and having projects. *sigh*. I really miss music because music is a big part of my school life. School is a part of who I am because I am. A teenager so when the summer comes around, a part of me is left behind. And, unlike some teenagers who party and are all about going to the movies and shopping the day away, another part of me isn't unleashed when summer starts. Most teenagers have a summer personality and life but I don't. So I sit here in my room and occasionally go to rugby or volunteer. But mostly I sit here, with a gaping hole in my personality because school is on pause.

[whymmkay]

Someone: *compliments me*

Me: *hand guns away while winking, backs into wall, sprints away*

[whymmkay]

Sometimes you gotta run into a wall to assert dominance

reassuring myself after running into a wall for the seventh time this week

[whymmkay]

Normal School Days

Me (a lesbian)working on a group project: Okay so Romeo and Juliet are...

Group at the front: *muttering* LESBIAN *muttering*

Me: Well that came out of nowhere

Friend: Just like you :D

[whymmkay]

A Sentimental Hoarder

I am a sentimental hoarder with the dream of being a minimalist. I want to live in a small apartment some day and be able to fit all of my belongings in a trunk. The problem is that I keep absolutely everything. I am not going to lie, going through my old stuff can be a really fun moment. You kind of bubble up inside and remember things that could have been forgotten if you didn’t keep that pen or that doll. It can also be really sad though. Remembering lost friends and lost moments. It is unpredictable. You never know how you will feel after rummaging through your old belongings. It isn’t very fun to go through your old things when you have so much that it usually just clutters your mind. 

A couple weeks ago I went through my big bin of pens, pencils, etc. It was pretty much a bin where I would dump all of my pencil case supplies at the end of every school year. Here is my journal entry concerning that day...”It is crazy how even the smallest things can take you back. I was just going through some boxes in attempt to find jars. Instead I came across my pen bin. A good sized, clear, owl covered box filled with all old pens, crayons from kindergarten forward. I came across so many memories going through it but I was really hit with a wave of emotions when I found a dark pink, a yellow, and an orange “color wave” marker set. Just the coarse feel of the grip took me back to grade one when I would tape up a ton of paper on my light yellow walls to teach my class of stuffed animals about coins (since I had just learned about them). The dark pink was my favourite. All of a sudden, I closed my eyes and visioned that scenario. Wishing that I would open my eyes and be back at that time, in my old room as my old self. I never felt so much hope for something so unrealistic before. It was so odd.” 

The point I was trying to get across was...these possessions, all of them, no matter how silly they seem to keep, mean so much to me. I feel guilty about it a lot. I am this girl who has been given such a great life, so great that I continuously have to buy storage bins in order to keep all of my things organized. I shouldn’t keep them all though. It is ridiculous. Yes, it clutters my mind but so many people would do anything for a couple of pencils. There are people without pencils that could be extremely gifted writers or artists and I have a huge bin of them unused except for when I want to remember things. It makes me feel selfish so I am trying really hard to let go of the past and hope my memory remains. I have a great memory but sometimes I think it is because I have kept everything I have ever owned. This sentimental hoarding is a huge part of who I am so expect more writing on this in the future. Thanks for reading my rambling! 

[whymmkay]

Hello!

Hello fellow humans (I think)! This will be my blog/outlet for when I think I am funny or thoughtful or poetic!