1.22.2019 - lil update / rant
I am soo nervous to see K again. We haven’t seen each other since we had that big talk and he said everything would be normal and nothing would change between us, but I don’t really believe him. It’s just that he knows about my feelings now and I know about his and it’s difficult looking at him knowing that he has feelings for me too and we can’t do anything about it.
Also my outfit is absolutely amazing today, so that’s cool.
Totally didn’t do that on purpose…
Honestly dressing up every once in a while isn’t bad..
And R is just being R. I swear to god, I don’t know how I feel about him anymore. He’s fucking amazing and such a great friend, but honestly don’t think it’s really a crush anymore.
And that’s really good because he’s 32 and married and also yes gay. You don’t want to be crushing on your 32-year-old married gay teacher. It’s not fun.
But yeah we’re friends and that’s really all I ever wished for.
And K… we’ll see. We’re friends too. Weird… friends… with feelings for each other.
He said that he didn’t wanna send any weird signals right after telling me that I’m attractive and cute and he’s into me. That’s a dick move. Just don’t say it then. But then again; he must really like me if he said those things cuz he knows it’s kinda illegal and not allowed for a teacher to say that so.. But still a dick move.
Maybe I’m just overthinking this shit and he’s gonna act normal and just be K.
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