Wild Ocean

how rare and beautiful it is to even exist

[wildocean11]

Every Night.

Every night I find myself staring at, the distorted front wall of my room,  paint peeling off, revealing shapes resembling  map of some distant planet  in some far off galaxy. I look at the wall  and all the greens,  all the blues and  all the hues of blues until whole room melts into a  big mass of greenish blue. On some nights I imagine the blue to be ocean  waves crashing against each other, …

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[wildocean11]

[wildocean11]

AN UNSOILED LONGING TO BE HUMAN AGAIN. _______________________________ there are days where i long to get struck by a lightning, to experience the magnificence of grey monsoon sky in my flesh, the feeling of electric intensity running through my body. cause we all are unconsciously stuck in our unvarying and monotonous existence and a fucking disaster is what we need to save us, aren’t we all secretly craving for a thunderstorm to consume us, waiting to be sucked up by a tornado, to feel swirling insanity of being alive thumping loudly in our heads. to get our feet off the ground and only if for a moment to feel the exhilaration of defying the gravity. hopelessly hoping to be jolted out of this eternal slumber where we are breathing but not living, where we are not human in its truest sense, may be it’s time for us to stop being a puppet in society’s hand that is constantly telling us how to live just because they are scared of our unadulterated souls that can put this whole fucking world on fire, It’s time for us to launch back into the wild like wildfires, hurl out into the world like whirlwinds, to reclaim what truly belong to us – ourselves. because we never belonged to safety of cemented four walls but out in the wildness of nature where we are not consumed by superficial ideas and (i don’t care if it’s not happening with me) mentality, but, where we care and are not afraid to love eachother unabashedly and ferociously. remember we didn’t come out of the universe just to be an added murmur to million others, but to live out loud. ~Wild Ocean

wildocean11

[wildocean11]

my fire breathing bones didn’t like the taste of your oceanic mouth on them, my withered spine didn’t like the touch of your velveteen fingers caressing it, every part in my body ached just from the sight of your cerulean eyes, but, the gentle whisper of my heart told me honey maybe this is how healing feels like.

wildocean11 

[wildocean11]

Do you the know feeling when people make you realise that you don’t deserve to be happy,when they equate your happiness to your ignorance or your apathy, when they make you feel like the worst human ever, when you laugh,when you are carefree all they see is your irresponsibility. Yeah that feeling. that feeling pull your guts to your mouth, lead to self loath and hatred towards everything, and make you feel guilty to feel happy or free and then you think i should not be this selfish but no you are not selfish it’s just that you don’t care fir those things but there are other things that you care about so deeply that others don’t feel and then gradually those dearest things slips out if your mind and you become one of them miserable,depressed, tensed,tired, lonely and sadly not you anymore.

wildocean11

[wildocean11]

If someone tell you, you are too skinny, too fat, too dark, too loud, too feminine or too masculine, don’t feel bad because moon wouldn’t stop shining too bright, flowers wouldn’t stop smelling too sweet, rain wouldn’t stop falling too hard, just because someone told them to.

wildocean11

[wildocean11]

When the earth collapsed and seams at the hem of the universe came undone, when it was all over and our mouth tasted stale taste of End beneath our tongue.

When,

All I wanted to remember was, how every Friday night you found me hiding, ten feet beneath the dust, entangled within the roots of my past where, I decomposed with all my memories, playing around in the the unconscious for  seventy nine hundred years to be precise. And how every Saturday morning you dug me out Afresh, a new born,cradled in your oceanic arms,deep enough to drown me whole,from head to toe. your touch too light on my baby skin,and your voice like scent of crushed flower mildly fusing into the air brushing the hair around my ears.    

Floating.Midair,Upside down, dancing barefeet on the fabric of your sun drenched chest, I weaved patterns on our naked flesh and i want to remember how suspended seven miles above the ground I could count, blood cells gushing down my veins or how many breaths it would take for you to cover the distance between my shoulder blades.

And that every Sunday night i fell asleep sucking honey soaked words dripping down your lips, desperately waiting for next Friday night.

But instead,

All I could remember was the universe melting around us and dissolving into the thin breath that just escaped your mouth,residue of our unproclaimed love gently kissing and making love with the earth withering beneath our feet, and million stars exploding with the brightness of bazillion suns within my air sucked lungs, but with no sound because just like space, our bodies were constituted of vacuum and eternal darkness.                      

Tongue in my mouth or in my stomach, I couldn’t make a difference,all I knew was words stuck in my throat, may be too afraid of the light emanating from your finger tips slowly tracing my serpentine body, coiling around your rib cage.  And I remember your touch being too heavy for my frail bones, and I collapsed not in your arms, but for a change imploded inside the vacuum of my own body, where nothing can reach, not even your galactic sound because you see sound cannot travel in space, it is quiet too quiet there/in here that I cannot even here my own thoughts banging against the walls of my skull.

But now alI I want to hope for is that we are just healing and that we are still breathing,that it was just a lapse in the cosmic time ,maybe an Illusion, a mistake.

[wildocean11]

We'll run down the hills at night, with dreams in our eyes, and, lightning in place of veins, And baby we'll be alright. Chasing the morning sun, And racing against cold March breeze, baby we'll be alright. Slowly transforming into clouds of golden dust You can become me and I will be you, Both One, and baby we'll be alright. Collecting pretty daisies in back pockets, and gasping for air, with shimmering stars in our hair; Baby it'll be alright.☀️ -Wild Ocean

[wildocean11]

now my mouth is open wide, for your ribs to collide into fine paste of regret and shame, Baby I’ll swallow it all down, like little vodka shots, no baby this is no blame game, just let it settle into space beneath my chest. where it’s safe to rest. no we are not wasted ones, no we don’t want to know how it all turns, with shoes a little to big for feet, the mess we made was quiet neat. Golden, copper, bronze, brown,dust; we slowly became what we thought we never could, victims of insatiable lust, we drank oceans of thousand worlds. dreary, wicked and not so wise. with flesh half made of disgraceful lies, our bodies addling beneath this disguise, chewing flowers just to smell nice. living under purple sky, we are kids who ain’t got no home, rolling under stars, we just dream to fly.

.~Wild Ocean(@wildocean11)

[wildocean11]

Five Reasons why fall in love with yourself. 1.Falling in love with your thoughts will feel like sipping up, sunshine from barrel of liquified, golden sky;

2.Falling in love with every idea swelling in your mind, will be like swallowing fireflies, that will light up dark corners of your blighted soul;

3.Falling in love with your own dreams will feel like building a summerhome to sway under cool shade on sultry sunny days;

4.Falling in love with, your happiness, will feel like treading on damp luscious green grass on cool autumn evenings;

5.Falling in love, with your reflection will feel like feeding your soul with electric Elixir that will cure every pain;

Falling in love with Yourself, Is like, Deliberately drowning in galactic oceans, Absorbing in technicolor September sky, Painting your flesh with all shaded of blue, Tasting erratic wild winter wind on your tongue, Dear, It feels like, making love to whole damn Cosmos. -Wild Ocean

[wildocean11]

On some mornings, I wake up and see world spinning at god speed out of my window, ‌floor pulverized into fine dust where my sulphuric dreams are building ephemeral castles for me to dwell in. ‌ walls are drifting away expanding the space between me and them, but also the space between my mind and sanity, sunshine ricocheted off my skin leaving it devoid of light, warm bed beneath my worn out body transforms into cold, hard wooden coffin, suffocating my body(as I am choking on my own pleas). blood in my veins become thin and pale and gray, my voice turning to echo,echo, and echo… And nothing remains familiar any more… -Wild Ocean

[wildocean11]

[wildocean11]

Apology to my future lover. I promise to love you like you’ve never been loved before, my love will leave your lungs breathless and your soul restless, but, dear I want you to know that, I will not love you forever and our love will not be immortal, because sometimes love doesn't need to last forever to be perfect, You see my love, I have a soul of an adventurer, spirit of a traveler, and a heart of vagabond. But, for the time we’ll be together, I will scuba dive in the sublime ocean lurking inside your dark soulful eyes, swim deep in them, making friends with all the secret, magical creatures hiding behind them, but I can’t make it my home because you see I am just an impulsive human with no gills to keep me breathing in this heavenly water, so I’ll glide through it, explore like a nomad, every corner of your concealed mystical part, you see I am fickle and whimsical person, I have no clue what I want for even myself, so how can, I offer you infinities. I will take periodic morning strolls in to the wild woods, eclipsed behind your ribs, collecting withered leaves and wild flowers and pieces of meteorites fallen from space, but dear I won’t be mournful to leave this all behind,but, I affirm to bring, spring back to this frosty wilderness and make it alive again(even if only for a while). Like an astronomer I will study every celestial body moving around in the universe of your soul, make love to all the planets and stars and black holes and dark matter and infinite unexplored objects in the darkest realms of your spirit, but this love won’t last forever, but it’s memory will remain forever vivid in your conscience, my dear, I have places to explore, dreams to dream, other oceans to explore, other woods to wander around, other universes to study. 🌻 -Wild Ocean

[wildocean11]

This night is alive, can't you feel it’s breathing, Breathing heavy on pale skin of my freezing back(because winters) and seeping in through the cracks of my skin, igniting every cell in my body with its darkness, I believe night is not caused by meagre absence of sun,its darkness is full and immortal it’s like a secret celebration of all the secret delights where only souls like mine are invited. I never understood night as a scientific phenomena, but as a surreal creature with claws that dig deep into my flesh every night and pull out the dangerous but beautiful part of me, At midnight I can feel it crawling into my skin making my body it’s residence for a while, illuminating my insides with beautiful blackness,(because black can illuminate too) For me, night is a time of little too much, when I want to live a little too much, when I want to feel a little too much, when I want to love a little too much, when I want to be loved a little too much.

[wildocean11]

MAYHEM

Meticulously crafted lies

sewed into fabric divine 

hung veiling truth

from my naive eyes, 

now grouching against the

muteness of my stubborn 

fate that yields my spirit 

dysfunctional every time

my dour ceramic heart

distills fallacy into blood

flooding my veins 

Oh how? I eradicate parasite

named illusion, 

clinging to my bones,

I lie here breathing in the dust

birthed by mayhem stirring

in my blood, anarchy anarchy 

every atom in my body cry, 

peering at the god speed

disintegration of this lowly self, 

finding ways to treat me of this

self proclaimed illness, 

I tried swallowing a pill

of disbelief once, 

also, transformed my blood

into carnival of chemicals, 

alcohol didn’t serve

the purpose though 

and my heart was always 

allergic to love, so

I habituated my self 

to live under delusions concocted

by my pretentious brain

But every effort was in vain 

for when i unrolled curtains 

off my dire self commotion 

still throbbed there

spreading it’s limbs afar

now stitched into my being

It dwells in me like a ghost

haunting drenched concrete 

empty boulevards, 

confiscated of body and soul, 

I live alienated in my own home

And now living feels

better with eyes closed 

If only somebody could tell me, 

How can we escape from ourselves?

-Wild Ocean

[wildocean11]

[wildocean11]