Starchild @willwhispen - Tumblr Blog

TEXT 🧞 WINNIFER

Jinnifer: Jonny, I'm going to need you to make a wish for me right now. Say and type out "I wish that Jinnifer Grant was not pregnant by my seed" or something to that effect, please and thank you.

Will: I’m sorry WHAT? I need to WISH THAT???? DONE! But also WHAT?

TEXT 🥃 ORILL

Orla: I'm people-watching at the mall and we need to make this a drinking game somehow. A group of ghouls just walked by in matching Juicy Booture sweaters and I feel like that's at least one shot of whiskey.

Will: Juicy Booture in 2021? 🤢🤢🤢 That shouldn’t call for a shot of whiskey, that should call for harsh and brutal intervention on complete strangers.

TEXT 🍈 WILLIFER

Jinnifer: Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?

Will: Before or after assuming you were in a production of Spring Awakening?

TEXT 💄 WILLSIE

Massie: Do better, be better. Thanks. And how exactly are you different than any GIRL friend? It's not like I'm getting any dick from you.

Will: Shan't. But you're welcome. Because I'm a guy and I'd totally give you dick if I wasn't absolutely terrified that you'd bite it off or something.

TEXT 💄 WILLSIE

Massie: Wow, all the words in the English language and you choose those. You really make a girl regret texting you, you know that, Whispen? And yeah, I can, mostly. I may have been exaggerating to make my point. Are we through the interrogation phase and ready to move on to the help part? I have a "date" tonight and I need red lips pronto.

Will: Those are all the words I had for you! I’ve heard that before but considering how little I care, it’s alright. I’m not interrogating you, but fine. I’ll help you with your lipstick. But don’t you have any GIRL friends that can help you do your makeup???

TEXT 💄 WILLSIE

Massie: I just tried to put lipstick on my eyeballs, help. Not being able to look directly in a mirror sure the fuck has its disadvantages.

Will: You are living my absolute nightmare, Mass. I am trying so hard to sympathize, but all I can really do is shudder and thank whoever's up there that I can at least see my own face. Although, I do have one question? Can you not see where your own hands are going?