This IS the Life!

Me at my Other Job rmt_ki101('6',130,'16plyodtmp6','ff0000');

[willwork4theatre]

Kinda over the bot deluge…

Gonna take a break…

Ok, so not on break any more. But getting way more practice blocking bots than I wanna!!!

Been averaging 20 a week this year. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[willwork4theatre]

Friday, my dad was moved to memory care. My parents have been married since 1962. And now, they’ll probably sleep together again.

Dad has dementia and for the most part is very pleasant. He’s had some bad moments, but I think taking the thousand mile look, it was him getting scared by his own mind and lashing out. Understandable when you look at it that way.

Mom has always been about control. That’s what drove me away for sure. Not long, just 6 months. But when you’re only a 30 minute drive away and deliberately don’t make contact, not ideal.

So she’s been struggling with this time a lot. She’d get frustrated with him and fuss. Pretty much her usual habit. But now, with dementia, dad’s reactions were bigger. Hell, he’d actually answer back. Previously he’d just tuck his head and shut his mouth.

Mom was pisssssssed about this move. Certain more could be done to get him back to normal. Certain they’re doping her at Assisted Living, they’re not, she’s getting her heart, cholesterol medicine and stuff for her potassium levels. I’ve seen the full print out of what she gets. She turns 83 this year. She’s stressed and tired and those two things alone are enough to make you feel like you’re in a fog. But she WILL NOT hear it. Anything outside of what she says is received as turning against her, turning against family.

Yesterday, I took mom to find chairs for each of their rooms and other goodies. By close to the end of our day, she quietly said, “I miss him.” The only acknowledgment I’ve heard that dad isn’t entirely there from her. She quickly recovered to keep telling me about all the people not treating them well and taking advantage of them. But there was a moment.

Dad I was expecting to have a real issue. Fortunately, he was very calm. He was showing more of his outgoing self. I’d like to believe, there’s a part of him that understands this is for the best.

Love your family as best you can. There will always be tests. Don’t be surprised at feeling like you should do more when there isn’t anything you can do. There will be times it’s a struggle to keep it together. It’s ok. It really is.

[willwork4theatre]

Today I head up to see my parents in their Assisted Living spot. Things you learn as you get older… your parents become your children, only they don’t want to and don’t believe they need it.

Dad’s dementia has been an adjustment. It’s not a linear progression though. There are times he seems almost normal. Then you realize he’s covering. Other times it’s pretty obvious as he babbles along. When I visit, for the most part, he’s pleasant and wants to have conversation.

Mom has had the biggest struggle. Her rock has been deteriorating before her eyes. I can’t imagine how painful that’s been. Especially as she ages and her own health declines. It doesn’t help that her baseline mood is a step away from anger at all times. Plus sprinkle in some paranoia, which plays very well with dementia.

The rough part of this trip is, the ALF wants to separate my parents. Dad needs more attention than assisted living can give because he keeps trying to walk when he can’t any more, so he falls. They need to move him to memory care.

And mom is going to meltdown.

And she’s going to blame me.

It doesn’t matter where any fault lies. I’m going to blame me too. I’ve been trained well.

I’m really not looking forward to this trip, which is why I’m still stalling getting on the road, writing this post.

[snika67oncemore]

[peony911]

YES! 😜

[willwork4theatre]

More than I’d like to admit!

[willwork4theatre]

Wasn’t supposed to rain today. Evidently Mother Nature decided to say, “fuck you in particular!”

[stunningpicture]

A flock of lawn flamingos can pick a T-rex clean in under 90 seconds

[pardonmewhileipanic]

nature is brutal

[willwork4theatre]

@glitterordeath !!!!!

[willwork4theatre]

Finally showed my parents the Emmy I got this past year.

Kinda wild to come from a town of 2,200 people at its peak, not knowing working in TV was even a possibility, to rolling items into a public television auction event to fund raise, and take over running camera from their intern the next night, to 30+ years later getting an Emmy after all the programs I worked on that came before.

[infectiouspiss]

is anyone else not vibing with the always looming sense of impending doom or is it just me

[willwork4theatre]

Maybe it’ll get better when folks finally decide what to do with my job at PBS, mom stops trauma dumping on me from assisted living, with dad going through dementia’s cruel decent. Maybe she’ll feel better when she moves to Ohio. I doubt it.

[enriquemzn262]

[willwork4theatre]

Glad to see I’m not the only one.

[no-longer-another-bondi-blonde]

[willwork4theatre]

How come no one is mentioning the obvious? They’re misspelled multiple wayys! This kinda looks like it could be AI.

[thepersonalquotes]

[pretty-bunny-1]

True 👌

[rap4cious-resplend3nt]

☦︎17TolucaLake☦︎

[willwork4theatre]

It amazes me, the people who call you friend, but aren’t there when it gets tough. Not everyone is a friend. Some are acquaintances.

That’s ok! But they are not the same.

[slipperyslipping]

[willwork4theatre]

Ok, so hear me out! Women in wrestling are using this concept in their ring gear!!! For example:

I’ve heard fashion always comes back around. Looks like maybe it does.

[willwork4theatre]

Rare Poster here:

I don’t post a lot.

My life nor wit is that interesting. I’m a normal guy going through normal life stuff.

My parents are in their 80’s and dad has dementia. Mom is coping, best she can.

I convinced mom, with the help of docs, to move dad, and her by happy happenstance, to assisted living.

I didn’t understand all that went along with that. Now I have better understanding.

I’ve tried since COVID to move my parents near me, as the only child. Mom would be in support of that to my face, but couldn’t conceive of that loss of control. So they are 4 hours away as opposed to 2 or 1.

No one can really prepare you.

There is guilt, sadness, depression and so much more.

I moved away for my sanity if we’re honest. Now the pervasive feeling is guilt for being away.

The reality is, aging parents are hard. For anyone who is primary or only.

Please give those folks grace. I’m single and don’t want to burden anyone with my reality. I realize I have walls I didn’t have before.

You want to love but don’t want to burden. But this, truthfully is a burden that folks have a concept of, but can’t understand until they’re in it. I didn’t know, but thought I did.

Love your people, because we ALL have a burden.

[willwork4theatre]

We asked for umbrellas for drinks…

[willwork4theatre]

It’s been a minute since my last dad update…

This past Wednesday night was the worst I’ve seen of dad when the sundown dementia demon took hold. It’s a good thing I paid attention when my co-worker told me about her father being so challenging, he had to be locked in a room by himself. On Wednesday, when my dad needed to go to the bathroom after a lot of unsuccessful attempts that day (turned out to be a urinary tract infection, UTI), two nurses came in to help him. His balance is not good due to the stroke, but it was also uncomfortable to stand due to needing to pee so badly. But once he was gotten up in the Sara Stedy, a switch flipped. He was convinced we were taking him to kill him. Me and the two nurses.

So my dad, a man I don’t remember ever hitting me for discipline or in anger, punched me in the mouth. And then tried to punch the 5 foot 2 nurse. I stopped him, thankfully!

After that point, nothing could calm him down. He was certain I wanted to kill him first his money, and after the nurses helped, I’d kill them too.

It was surreal seeing someone who had said multiple times earlier that day that I was their favorite kid, etc, then saying I was a killer.

The punch was more a shock than painful. And the whole events of that evening cemented for me, dementia is an evil disease. The person who has it can be anything from who they are yet pleasantly forgetful to a person whose perceptions are the polar opposite of who they are normally, their actions too.

Give people as much grace as you can, then take a breath and give them a little more. My dad has always been the good person, would stop to help folks with a flat tire or out of gas, but now, after dark you don’t know if you’re getting Jeckyl or Hyde. My mom is the spouse of 60 years whose mate is drifting away, in a scary way. And frankly, then there’s me, the only child, remembering my father for all the good and bad that came before and not attaching the present dementia parts to his legacy, while trying to keep my mom from completely falling apart and navigating my own emotions through it all.

Grace is kind and generous and needed more than any of us know.

[ahooooooy-bitches-deactivated20]

[seachromes]

STROKE: Remember The 1st Three Letters… S.T..R … My friend sent this to me and encouraged me to post it and spread the word. I agree. If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks. STROKE IDENTIFICATION: During a party, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. (they offered to call ambulance) They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid’s husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm , Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the party . Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don’t die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead. It only takes a minute to read this… STROKE IDENTIFICATION: A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke…totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough. RECOGNIZING A STROKE Remember the ‘3’ steps, STR . Read and Learn! Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke. Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions : S * Ask the individual to SMILE .. T * = TALK. Ask the person to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE (Coherently) (eg ‘It is sunny out today’). R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS . If he or she has trouble with ANY ONE of these tasks, call the ambulance and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher. NOTE : Another ‘sign’ of a stroke is 1. Ask the person to ‘stick’ out their tongue. 2. If the tongue is ‘crooked’, if it goes to one side or the other that is also an indication of a stroke. A prominent cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved. And it could be your own.

First reblog post that actually saves a life.

This is a life-saving post.

the more you know

yeah don’t think that this can’t happen to you or someone you know if they’re young. my cousin’s wife is 33 and she had a stroke last year

I’ve had a stroke. It happens to people, and the more you know about this kind of stuff, the better.Because it could be important to know.

[obnoxiouscolours-blog]

LIVE SAVING. WOOOAHH. REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG REBLOG 

[animeaves-deactivated20230612]

Had a family member almost die of one, so signal boosting because you never know when you could save a life.

[butimaloneandfree]

Because I feel bad if I don’t reblog…

[cumbermums]

My mother died after being paralyzed by a stroke. Please read this^

[turquoisemagpie]

I remember a while ago here in UK there were stroke-identifying adverts. Their catchphrase was FAST:

F- Face: is their face fallen on one side?

A- Arms: can they raise both their arms up and hold them there?

S- Speech: is their speech slurred? Can they speak a full sentence?

T- Time: if all the signs show a stroke, call 999.

We managed to save my nana with this information when she had her first stroke. 

[willwork4theatre]

All good information!

Something to remember, if the words aren’t slurred and/or the face is not drooping, it can still be a stroke! I was always taught you can see it in the face, but after seeing my dad have one confirmed, and he wasn’t paralyzed anywhere, just very weak on one side, it’s taught me, if you think maybe, then check with a doc!!!

[willwork4theatre]

Dad part 2 B

Last night seemed to go fairly well. I was able to keep dad calm and quell any of the stuff going on in his brain so he could go back to sleep.

Tonight is a different story. Nothing I’m saying helps or distracts. After he had spent about an hour trying to get out of bed and leave here, the nurse told me they had already given him medication that’s supposed to calm him so sleep comes easier. They did warn us it could take up to a week to see effects from the drug.

When the smartest person you know appears to be losing their mind, especially when it’s the parent you most trusted, it’s tough to witness.

Both of my parents love me, I know that without a doubt and count myself fortunate for that! Growing up, mom was the volatile one, fighting her own issues from her childhood, not always able to prevent taking those issues out on me. Dad ended up being a bit Disney world slash safe haven from the storm mom could be.

Now, his imagination is a scary place. His intellect is still rolling around in there. We’re probably lucky he had the stroke, it makes him trying to leave too hard for him to accomplish.

I don’t think I’m gonna get much sleep tonight.