cw: body image politics and (trans)misogyny
in the world of twitter veganism and instagram flat tummy tea, it has become almost impossible for a thick bitch like me to get online without someone telling me what my body should look like. although my blackness is quite used to being casually and conveniently left out of conversations on conventional beauty, a bitch has intersectional oppressions, and today they are all sitting down to chat about “skinny shaming”, which, much like “reverse racism” and any other claim that socially acceptable bodies are oppressed because of their privilege, is full of shit. let’s dora the explore that for a second.
i think we’re all familiar with the age old game “is he hot, or is he white?”, but get ready for it’s millennial cousin, “are they hot, or are they skinny?”. newsflash bitch, the answer is almost always white and skinny, but let’s focus on that last part for today, because if i start talking about whiteness this shit will turn into a dissertation with swiftness. but we before get into it, we should first break down the term “skinny shaming” and attempt to understand the politics of shame.
skinny shaming [skɪni ʃeɪmɪŋ] verb, 1. Shaming someone who is naturally thin by always pointing it out, or making little comments based on their weight with the intention of making them feel shameful about their naturally thin size. -urban dictionary
ok so shame, as a concept, exists as tool of ostracization, but only really succeeds (like most things) when spearheaded from people in places of power. and we know we live in an inherently fatphobic society (if you don’t believe this stop reading and go ahead and block me rn) that thrives on the idea a human’s value is based solely on their ability to be sexualized by cismen. now that’s not to say folx often sexualized by cismen are treated well, because we’ve learned that’s a thing they’re barely even capable of, but what it does mean is that the most “desirable” bodies are given a sort of vicarious power (see: white femininity). it goes without saying this power is also inherently racialized and built to benefit the least people of color possible, but the point is, it is not only white and cisgendered bodies that benefit from a system that values cismale sexualization and heteronormativity, it’s also skinny bodies.
“but nyfe, i’m skinny and cis men shit on my body all the time! i too deal with body shame!”
well, every art hoe from my liberal arts college, i’m sure cis men do shit on your body because, as we remember from last week, cis men are trash. i’m also sure you do deal with body shame, but that’s not the same as skinny shame. in fact, let’s introduce another fun game into the mix called “are they shaming you because you’re skinny, or because they’re (trans)misogynistic?”. and bitch you guessed it, it’s the last one! don’t get it twisted, cismale entitlement to the bodies of womxn and femmes is disgusting, yes, and results in many of them shaming you for not being their sexual ideal, but the idea that you exist to make them horny in the first place, is just good old fashioned default factory issued (trans)misogyny.
for those of you still lost and terrified of being called racist, let’s throw in an analogy. ok so there are, undoubtedly, white people living in poverty and white people considered “underprivileged” by the government, right? but does that mean then that those white people are not still benefitting from white privilege and are capable of being victims of racism? fuck no. they aren’t poor because they are white, they are just poor in addition to being white. and suggesting their whiteness isn’t actively improving their quality of life would be to deny the existence of systematic racism and would probably get you blocked by your fave social media influencer. and you wouldn’t want that, would you?
all of this is to say: skinniness and whiteness can often mimic each other in the way they disproportionately allocate power.
“but nyfe, i’m a mxn and people are always telling me i’m too skinny and making fun of the fact that i’m small. that’s skinny shaming!”
well, every english major from my liberal arts college, believe it or not, that too, is just misogyny. first of all, side note, the patriarchy tells you not to moan during sex or get your ass ate and you’re still listening? toxic masculinity doesn’t want you to cum and you trust that bitch? i digress; all you’re really saying is misogyny hurts us all. and honestly, the idea that skinniness on more masculine bodies is unattractive makes the same gross assumption that you exist only as a tool for sexual attraction. ALSO that type of body shame is directly comparative to a transmisogynistic idea of femininity. the real reason the patriarchy thinks you shouldn’t be skinny is not because being skinny is a quality capable of victimization, but because “skinniness is for womxn”, and god forbid you be like a womxn in any way.
but i’m done talking about y’all. because at the end of the day, all of this is simple. just fucking listen to chubby, thick, chunky, and fat people. if you’ve ever lived in a body that takes up more space than the patriarchy thinks you should, you know skinny shaming is bullshit. the mere fact i’ve even had to have this conversation so many times is proof that people are incapable of valuing the work and perspectives of fat folx and are desperate to be oppressed enough for a good twitter thread. talk to fat folx about their experience with the term “skinny shaming” (if they consent to do so) and dead the term altogether. because on top of having to fight for space in this world to exist without harassment, we also have to deal with your skinny ass shitting out that “just as bad” rhetoric.
thank you, and in the words of nicki minaj:
“Fuck you if you skinny bitches, what?! Kyuh”
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