itsy bitsy spider!

ind. sel. canon divergent laurie ann winterbarger from stephen king's IT. written by sarah. est. sept 2017.

[winterbarger]

billy

@winterbarger liked for a starter

She said she’d wanted to watch, so he’d set her up for the show all nice and pretty in the bushes where she could see everything. From the moment he’d made the first phone call to the final plunge of the knife into his victim’s heart, Billy had put on a performance for Laurie that was worthy of being on stage. He had even bowed for her after having pulled off his mask. The whole kill was intentionally performative, and unnatural for him. He was holding himself back. There were still some things about himself that he wasn’t ready to reveal to Laurie yet. And one of those was how intimate killing was for him.

“Was it what you expected?” Billy asked her, wiping the blood from his face. The costume he wore was not protective by any means. The fabric was cheap, and blood easily soaked through. He was wet and sticky from his fingertips to his elbow despite this kill having been controlled and calculated, passionless. “Could you see?”

Blue eyes tracked the smear of crimson blood, bright against his pale skin. She had never seen a person die before. In private, she’s imagined slitting her father’s throat open before, and watching him suffer. But those moments were few and far between, and then that hollow space inside her chest would be tucked away again, behind layers of normalcy. “I don’t know.” Laurie replied, breathless. Her body was singing, enraptured by beginning to end. “But yeah. There’s more blood than I thought there’d be, maybe.” More blood than she’d ever seen in her entire life. The thought didn’t frighten her as much as it should.

She brushed off the hem of her skirt, dirty from kneeling (and not in prayer). There’s the faintest urge to reach out, to touch him. To know what all that blood felt beneath her fingertips. She carved out her fear from her chest, and replaced it with something else. Something better. “You made it look good. You made it look easy.”

[tyrantsuggestion]

Holy Holy Holy — your soul screams in absolute agony at your corruption and demise.

[winterbarger]

i might be taking a small break from this blog.

university is starting up soon and i need to get focused for that, as well as other events that have kind of drained me emotionally mostly. nothing personal but just, tumblr and the toxicity of the rpc and such have drained me, and as much as i love playing laurie ann because I REALLY do, i need to be in the best mindset i can in order to pass this year of uni and i need to be committed to doing my studies.

i won’t be dropping laurie ann entirely but activity on here will DROP, even further that it already has - i admit. i have starters to reply to and other replies, and i will get them as soon as i can, but yeah. it’s nothing overtly major, just... need to be committed to uni.

[quotefeeling]

She was still holding out for something that wasn’t going to happen. She was good at waiting. That seemed like a sad thing to be good at.

Ann Brashares, Girls in Pants

[wnq-writers]

Nothing terrifies me more than the thought of speaking my pain aloud for another living soul to hear. In truth, I am afraid that I will fall apart like a flower does; that once I start opening up I’ll be unable to stop and before I realize it, I’ll be in pieces on the floor…

Ranata Suzuki

[dvoyd]

your mind is killing you in ways that no hands ever could.

no funeral necessary | m.a.w

[guiltrose-deactivated20180203]

do me a solid and just reblog this saying what time it is where you are and what you’re thinking about in the tags.

[rosalyn51]

[winterbarger]

rosalyn51:

“We were able to play certain sections, so we were able to give Park options to shoot from behind. Because we all know the language of film, when you see someone playing something you say, ‘I bet they’re not playing that.’ And then to show you that they are, in a way it’s fucking with the audience. It’s quite nice.” - Matthew Goode on filming the piano duet in Stoker (Indiewire 2013)

[fraxdulenti-archive-blog]

if ur muse has daddy issues, clap ur hands

[lifeinpoetry]

It’s true, in time you come to love your captor. Until the word is only a rope linking you, one, that like an umbilical cord can get wrapped around the neck.

Anita Olivia Koester, from “​Love as a Dangerous Word“ published in Muzzle

[winterbarger]

repost, don’t reblog. from here.

What’s Your Muse’s Hogwarts House Percentage?

You Are 31% Hufflepuff, 28% Gryffindor, 22% Slytherin, and 19% Ravenclaw!

You’re undeniably a Hufflepuff, but you definitely have some strong Gryffindor qualities. You proudly wear your heart on your sleeve, but you lack the recklessness of a true Gryffindor, which means that you don’t act on your feelings without thinking. Your kindness and openness is what originally attracts other people to you, but they stay for your unwavering loyalty, meaning you’re constantly surrounded by a large group of friends. Your slight compatibility with Slytherin house suggests a determination to succeed, though not at the expense of traits from your more dominant houses.

tagged by: @tenebrasanimarum

tagging: @onceweak, @bethlems, @compulsoryblood (for billy!), @chariotsofthegodsman, @puzzleboxed, @hockstctter and literally anyone else who wants to do this. tag me!

[lifeinpoetry]

What I know of tenderness is what I know of violation, / the restless insect of touch and our end.

Natalie Eilbert, from “Ezekielle” published in The Lifted Brow

[catosdaughter-deactivated201904]

[…]  HER GRIEF WAS SEEKING A WEAPON, WHICH HAD CAREFULLY BEEN REMOVED FROM HER, “YOU KNOW NOT YET,” SHE CRIED, “THAT DEATH CANNOT BE DENIED” […] SHE SPOKE, AND EAGER MOUTH SWALLOWED BLAZING COALS. "NOW DARE TO DENY ME STEEL.”

est. sept 2016

[blythestethics]

aesthetic meme!

send ★ for an aesthetic of your muse send ☁ for a friendship aesthetic of our muses send ❤ for a ship aesthetic of our muses

[gatheringbones]

People who have monsters recognize each other. They know each other without even saying a word.

Benjamin Alire Sáenz, Last Night I Sang To The Monster

[winterbarger]

‘ push me onto the bed and climb on top of me. ’

✰ * º ❛ even more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

It’s… surprising. How could it not be? Even in the rare times where they do touch, it’s brief. A test of how much they could push each other before the other snapped. And maybe this was just another one of them - why else would he want do this with her and not with India, with Billy? Hyperaware, she shoved him back hard, and swallowed down how foreign it was to use such force on him. Laurie looked down on him, feeling powerful; Charlie sprawled out on the bed in front of her - even if still composed. But he wasn’t the only one in control here. Equal power. “Bare your neck for me.” She murmured, straddling his hips, and she wasn’t asking.

[littlelovelymemes]

✰ * º ❛ even more popular text posts ask meme. ❜

‘  getting the fuck over things is the best!  ’ ‘  i love the concept. never tried it, but it’s a hell of a concept!  ’ ‘  you know that feeling you get when you’ve just showered and you crawl into a soft bed with clean sheets and you just feel safe and calm? that’s how i want my heart to feel.  ’ ‘  when dogs say boof instead of barking. reblog if u agree  ’ ‘  where does a mansplainer get his water? from a well, actually.  ’ ‘  do girls really mature faster? or do we just excuse boys’ immaturity longer?  ’ ‘  if i had to pin point my biggest flaw, it would probably be me.  ’ ‘  will anyone ever fall in love with my boring ass???  ’ ‘  date a girl who keeps a post-it note over her webcam bc the government is watching her.  ’ ‘  the difference between 4 a.m. and 5 a.m. is late as fuck and early as hell.  ’ ‘  does anyone else get language cravings? like you’re doing the dishes and suddenly feel an irresistible urge to learn a little danish.   ’ ‘  kinda want a relationship. kinda don’t ever want to give someone the power to hurt me.  ’ ‘  fuck boys, I only trust rice.  ’ ‘  whoever i end up marrying is going to be lucky af cause i got so much love to give.  ’ ‘  luke skywalker is relatable because he did a couple days of exercise and was like “actually i’d rather go die in a war.”  ’ ‘  mood: saying “mood” to everything.  ’ ‘  i’m really bad at conversations. sorry if i’ve ever talked to you  ’ ‘  share a coke with the indescribable, omnipresent feeling of dread in the pit of your stomach.  ’ ‘  the struggle between me wanting to be successful and me wanting to lay in bed 24/7.  ’ ‘  i’m at the “we’ll see” stage in my life. with everything and everyone. we will see.  ’ ‘  while extroverts get their energy by being around other people, i (an introvert), get energy from being hit by a train. more or less.    ’ ‘  a cup of hot tea really heals ur soul this is true science.  ’ ‘  i’m going to cry i’m so lonely now and all i have is this fucking cup of leaf water.  ’ ‘  why do superheroes care so much about their cities? its always “i have to protect this city” or “people of this city will die” like chill, i mean shit i don’t even know who my mayor is.  ’ ‘  when i say “the other day” it can be anytime between yesterday and my birth.  ’ ‘  YOU KNOW WHAT’S EXTREMELY TOXIC? JEALOUSY, turning saints into the sea. swimming through sick lullabies. choking on your alibis, but it’s just the price i pay  ’ ‘  two years i ago i was a fucking mess and now i’m a fucking mess, but at peace with it and i’ve found a bunch of great music.  ’ ‘  move, greg. i have depression and i want the pasta. it’s an emergency.  ’ ‘  life problems i anticipated as a child: quicksand, ghosts. life problems i did NOT anticipate as a child: the crushing sense of failure associated with botched social interactions.  ’ ‘  i get so excited when i can’t remember the name of someone i knew in high school it’s like i’m one step closer to being fully cleansed.  ’ ‘  what do u mean i don’t have a social life??? i just went grocery shopping with my mom.  ’ ‘  i’m a laid back person with a ton of anxiety.  ’ ‘  i can’t hear you over how much i hate my town.  ’ ‘  i accidentally vented to them so now i can never speak to them again.  ’ ‘  oh sweet, sweet sounds of 80s synthesizers, alleviate me.  ’ ‘  “i’m trying my best!!” i say as if my best didn’t pack up and leave me in 2012 without any warning.  ’ ‘  we all went through something when they played hallelujah in shrek.  ’ ‘  imagine getting a mental notification for every single time someone thought about you… it’d still be dry like my phone.  ’ ‘  it’s funny because even online i find it hard to be social and make friends.  ’ ‘  bamf: bad at making friends.  ’ ‘  i hate when someone turns my music down in the car to speak… u think your convo is more important than this absolute banger??? get out!!  ’ ‘  (to the tune of the final countdown): it’s a mental breakdown!  ’ ‘  rip doesn’t even mean rest in peace anymore, it’s just rip.  ’ ‘  if you wanna be my friend you gotta put up with me disappearing for weeks at a time and my inability to make emotional connections so be prepared.  ’ ‘  “it’s uncool to tie your jacket around your waist” is straight propaganda and they might have to carry theirs around but we don’t.  ’ ‘  why do tv shows get canceled like finish what u fucking started.  ’ ‘  the number of messages i’ve failed to answer across all my devices and media platforms will be weighed against my soul on judgment day, and i will be cast into hell.  ’ ‘  i’m really boring if i’m not comfortable with you.  ’ ‘  do you fake conversations in your head of you venting to someone??  ’ ‘  just cus i cant live off pasta doesnt mean i wont live off pasta.  ’ ‘  i need a small loan of $1,000,000.  ’ ‘  i’m not the same person i was 2 minutes ago.  ’ ‘  where can i find this friendzone i need some friends.  ’ ‘  i have an idealized version of myself in my mind and she’s really pissed off at my life choices.  ’ ‘  i like staying up at unhumanly hours but i also like getting 12 hours of sleep do u see my problem?  ’ ‘  i hate how when ppl get in an argument they start using big ass words, like how u go from a meme loving fuck to an english professor in 2 seconds.  ’ ‘  when someone calls u their best friend out loud > romantic love.  ’ ‘  sometimes u just have to say ‘tragic’ and move on.  ’ ‘  if u can afford to spend 12k on a festival to see blink 182 u can afford to die there.  ’ ‘  i feel like i’m in the sims where it takes 5 hours to make pasta and then u have to immediately go to bed.  ’ ‘  my kink is having absolutely no one from high school know anything about me or what I’m doin now lmao  ’ ‘  dont ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean im ignoring like 8 ppl right now but still ???  ’ ‘  people who suggest getting breakfast together as a hangout plan are the kind of people you want to hang onto.  ’ ‘  my specialty: the accidental 12-hour nap in broad daylight.  ’ ‘  i think what’s wrong with me is that i don’t live secluded in a hut in the woods. i don’t bang enough rocks against enough things. i just haven’t forged any swords.  ’ ‘  whoever invents headphones that are comfortable to sleep in will get so rich.  ’ ‘  i’m an angry person and i want to let it out and be an asshole but i’m also a nice person and i don’t want to actually hurt anyone’s feelings. do u feel me??  ’ ‘  your smile makes any day a thousand times better.  ’ ‘  hey hmu if u wanna fall in love with me.  ’ ‘  90′s babies… we getting old.  ’ ‘  stay safe because I like being alive at the same time as you.  ’ ‘  i love my solitude but i was meant to be a lover.  ’ ‘  i’m literally tired of myself.  ’ ‘  i really do mean all those things i say to you. i hope you know this.  ’ ‘   there’s something so nice about friends who tell you they love you. ’ ‘  i love the moon!!!! she follows me everywhere to make sure i’m safe.  ’ ‘  brah fuck it i’m just die.  ’ ‘  i won’t hesitate (to love you unconditionally) bitch.  ’ ‘  i’m kiss deprived.  ’ ‘  i just want someone to kiss my neck, cuddle me, and play with my hair.  ’ ‘  me, two days into spring: do you remember the good old days when all the bugs were in hell where they belong?  ’ ‘  je suis,…. how do u say it……….. ready 2 die.  ’ ‘  not putting a case on your iphone is like not putting a baby in a car seat.  ’ ‘  if i want you, never worry about who wants me.  ’ ‘  calling me baby makes me so freakin weak.  ’ ‘  i’m a solid 2/10 but i’m kinky and loyal so hmu.  ’ ‘  watching documentaries and making out on the couch is my kind of date.  ’ ‘  space pisses me OFF the sun is TOO large and black holes are TOO mysterious and aliens are TOO sneaky.  ’ ‘  date someone who makes it feel like there’s a sunset in your chest every time you look at them.  ’ ‘  push me onto the bed and climb on top of me.  ’ ‘  hearing “i love you” from the right person feels like a big warm hug.  ’ ‘  all the love songs are becoming about you now.  ’ ‘  the rumors are true: i’m soft and i just want to be loved.  ’ ‘  avatar: the last airbender (2005-2008) would never have let me down like this.  ’ ‘  first of all i love tiddies so jot that down.  ’ ‘  fr tho, communication is so important to me. tell me what u want from me, tell me how i make u feel, be real with me, be real with ur soul.  ’ ‘  i really need to be fucked by something other than life.  ’ ‘  you are good and kind and the sun shines differently on you.  ’ ‘  goin home to be ugly in peace is one of my fav things to do.  ’