☆ SHAKING MY HEART

ind. pri. sel. idolish7 iori izumi and yotsuba tamaki. loved by cassi.

[wishedvoyage]

GAKU-SAN:

If only he could express verbally how adorable her reaction to his compliment was, but it was no use, their careers and status kept those words from ever falling out. What he could do is smile, smile at the woman who he held the utmost regards for. She was not just a pretty face but a woman who worked hard, always did her best to cheer on others, and never gave up. What an amazing person she was. If only he could tell her this someday.

“No problem. You’re really something.” he held the files she was loosing her grip on from the bottom and pushed them up to held her. “Anesagi is quite incredible, yes, and so are you. Don’t look down on yourself. You can accomplish great things, Tsumugi.” That’s what he expected from someone who declared her idol group would surpass TRIGGER and become number one.

❛ thank you, gaku-san ! i will keep your words close to my heart and work even harder. ❜ she lacks the yearning for prestigious recognition for herself but hearing those soothing words from her companion delights her nonetheless. she has been working hard -- so hard to become a daughter her father would be proud of, to be the manager for IDOLISH7 who will push them over the rainbow. more than anything, she wishes to see the people she loves SUCCEED, be happy wherever they stand. ❛ idolish7 has been making a lot of progress and they’ve been loved by the hearts of many. it’s also thanks to you and our seniors too. i hope for a stage where everyone can stand on it together -- and have the entire world watching it ! ❜

[wishedvoyage]

GAKU-SAN:

Why was water being shoved in his face? Clearly she was hiding something but what could possibly be so embarrassing? Her dream? Just what on earth did she dream last night? He can’t help but be curious and as much as he wanted to press he couldn’t interrogate her. But asking would hurt right? “Tsumugi…” he started, pushing the glass to the side gently, “Did you have a bad dream?” he hoped it wasn’t bad, the last thing he would want is for her to be plagued with nightmares, but instead she should have happy dreams, especially when she gets so little sleep due to work. He wishes she could get more sleep.

She was obviously avoiding his gaze, he tilted his head to the side to see if he could make out her expression. Even if he was the one relying on her right now, he wishes she would rely on him as well.

had she unintentionally caused gaku to worry ? her own expression mirrors gaku’s own -- but for a slight different reason. she grapples with the mess of a ball of yarn in her thoughts, clawing her way to sort them through so that she could offer her companion a satisfactory response. ❛ th-that’s not it. rather than an unpleasant dream, um .. it’s quite pleasant ... ❜ TOO PLEASANT -- her thoughts argue, sending a rush of remorse over her. was it inappropriate to harbor such dreams towards a friend ? it was definitely much simpler when she was just a fan of his before her career had taken off. was it weird ? or worse, would it SCARE him away ?? her face flusters in a myriad of emotions and she yet again struggles to speak. ❛ everyone was there ... everyone was happy. gaku-san is there too .. i was very happy too .. ❜

[wishedvoyage]

❛ Alright ! Today, I’ll be working hard as well ! ❜

[wishedvoyage]

ooc. it’s been awhile since i’ve been here that my activity practically flat lined !!

[wishedvoyage]

A broken spell always left someone crying, craving for a recast. Nagi expected it, knew that it would come to slam the curtains back onto his stage, dividing himself from his friends. He wouldn’t even be able to see them, let alone touch. His heart clenched in quite a grip that he had never once acted on an opponent, a grip stronger than his own strongest. His lips thinned, and his eyes struggle to remain opened after a difficult night of crying and torment. This was not his intention - to leave IDOLISH7 but it was his to do so with the illusion of Nagi as their last memories together.  Truly ... he never expected to become this attached .. ❝  Hm … ?  ❞ he hummed in a mix of interest and curiosity when he spotted Sougo at the doorway, where Nagi was about to exit through and leave behind everything permanently.  ❝  Ah, you are strangely awake at this time of the night, Sougo.  ❞ @soothingforte

[wishedvoyage]

determined-idols:

“Yes, I actually have seven trays worth of cream puffs planned for distribution today, so it may be more than enough for all of us here,” Ryuu replied. Being someone who was generous but also with a domestic flare when it came down to showing affection to people whom he cherished the most, giving gifts was what he did best; even the edible ones count. It wasn’t long before the chocolate was all set and ready and the assembly line had been put in place, with the cooled puffs for testing placed on the plate, followed by the piping bag filled with custard, the bowl of melted chocolate, and the toppings to be sprinkled. The rack was where the finished product would be placed so that the chocolate would set up.

Both him and Tamaki had to wear gloves since their hands would become messy if not being careful. After the custard was injected into the puff, the pastry would be dipped in chocolate, with the excess dripped off, before letting any of the nuis sprinkle the toppings. Octo still kept a close eye on Tam, just in case the horned nui was thinking of eating the puff itself rather than the toppings.

❝  Oh ...  ❞ There goes the thought that all seven trays were for them. Tamaki would’ve finished those without a trouble -- if he ate something salty in between, that is. However, it was just like Ryuunosuke to ensure everyone gets it so Tamaki would have to get his food source from elsewhere. In the meantime, Tamaki helped the other out with completing the cream puffs and setting the bowls of toppings onto the counter so their mon counterparts could play with them. This was the most boring part of the entire occasion -- with actually eating to be the best.  ❝  Guess we’re all done here,  ❞ Tamaki commented after they were finished -- and removed his gloves. They felt so stuffy even when he only wore them on his hands. His own mon counterpart mewled at the finished treat, then back at the other mon. After what it seemed like a finished contemplation, the horned nui went over to one of the bowls and showered the cream puffs with its toppings by flipping it upside down. Huh. Whatever he fancies then.

[wishedvoyage]

mezzfortc:

   He moves not a single inch despite noticing Tamaki stepping next to him, only his gaze shifting to him so very briefly. There are only so very few instances in which they have talked yet ( although Sougo hasn’t talked much to any of the member yet, anyway ), and the former knight isn’t quite certain what the other is thinking.

“Ah… Not really. I was just wondering how much you know about it,” he replies, giving a one-sided shrug before turning to the pirate. “From here, it looks like any ordinary island that the empire has a hold of but makes no particular use of although they’ve taken complete control years ago. The thing is that the common people just don’t know how far their hold extents, or what exactly the empire is doing there. And no one really bothers thinking about it because it’s secluded and they’ve built their base so that you can’t locate it easily. If you don’t know what to look for, that is.” Sougo looks back towards the island, lips tightening into a thin line as he does so. “ —– I’ve been there once. A year ago. And it was horrible. There’s a prison underground, and… there are mass executions. A lot of them. Even though the prison is great in its size, they can’t hold that many people, so those that have extended their usefulness or are sick are ridden of. I remembered watching one execution, and… I just want this place to disappear.”

❝  Executions ... Those bastards ..  ❞ With that murmured from his lips, Tamaki clenched his fists tightly while glaring at the island. It was so like the empire to rob lives as though it was so less important than their little worries. Not only Sougo -- but Tamaki too felt a wave of nausea at the thought. That being said, if the prison is underground, there was no way for even Iori to know its existence. As far as that goes, however, Iori was still able to make it as one of his guesses, considering its secrecy as compared to the other empire controlled islands. His lips formed a thin line, brows furrowing forward as he contemplated on their next course of action.  ❝  Let’s try an’ break em out,  ❞ Tamaki proposed, turning his head back to the former knight with a resolute expression. Criminals weren’t his favourite but the empire was committing a more atrocious crime if they were executing people who didn’t deserve it. For all they knew, the empire could also be holding innocent people who merely fought for their own homes during the empire’s conquering.  ❝  Ya got an idea how many knights are stationed there ? At least, for us to be able to know if we can fight em head on or sneak ‘round more.  ❞ Conflict would be inevitable though -- but it’d be best saved for when they make the trip back to their ship. If they could take control over some of the empire’s ships, that would be good too. 

[wishedvoyage]

determined-idols:

Ryuu saw that the chocolate was melted to the proper consistency, though Tamaki had swiped a portion using his finger for the taste test. He only managed a sheepish laugh at the action; Tamaki was told to wash his hands earlier before helping out with the puffs, so it wouldn’t be much of a problem at all. “Proper taste for you?”

 And Octo dumped the used tissue into the bin then held Tam’s hand, a gesture that meant that everything would soon be ready for consumption, and they would eat one together. But of course, it was best to wait.

❝  Yea. It’s good,  ❞ Tamaki replies, lips widening into a smile at the free card he was given by Ryuunosuke. Iori would often slap his hand away, reprimanding him for his lack of patience. However, just as expected, Ryuunosuke’s creations are always delicious - even while they were en route to completion.  ❝  Will you be makin’ extras for the rest too ?  ❞ he asked for the rest of IDOLISH7 members. Ryuunosuke often brought treats during special occasions or souvenirs.  Tam held Octo’s hand obediently, while tipping his toes to watch the humans making the treats. Even before it was halfway done, Tam was already drooling at the thought of new desserts in his mouth.

[wishedvoyage]

mezzfortc:

   He can only nod in response – and in his eyes, where previously has been flickering irritation prior to talking to Iori, there is something akin to CONTENTMENT to be seen now despite his new position. Frankly, it’s quite the demotion since he’s been captain of his own ship, however, there’s no way he’d be allowed anywhere NEAR his prior rank, especially not now that he’s just been allowed to join ( tentatively only, at that ). Although perhaps an entirely new start isn’t bad at all, too.

The two weeks pass by quicker than Sougo initially expects as he’s being taught the way of the pirates. The crew accepts him rather quick, albeit he can fill the occasional odd glance at him here and there. He simply ignores it, anyway, and keeps working to the best of his abilities. Whether they report to Iori and Tamaki about his actions whenever fit, the knight doesn’t know, but if they are; so be it. 

On the thirteenth day, he spots a familiar island in the distance. He’s been trying to keep track on their route, watching the sun throughout the day and the stars at night to determine how far they must have come along. Now, he’s on the deck, eyes fixed onto the island he’s been to only once before. It’s an important one to the Empire, and Sougo knows full well that the base established there hold many knight and prisoners alike. He wonders if Tamaki and Iori know, too.

The reports from the crew regarding the new member came in, as expected. There were little complaints, considering how hard Sougo had worked for this ship. Even Tamaki could discern it for himself. However, there were still some discomfort within the crew members regarding a knight joining their cause -- and for a good reason too since they, too, had been rendered victims under the cruel hands of the empire. Tamaki committed himself to speak to them about it though. When he saw Sougo at the deck against the railings on the front, Tamaki approached the other with hands stuffed into his pockets. For a moment, there was silence between the two while Tamaki sets his gaze onto the island. Ah. Iori had informed him that they would be passing by this particular one amid their journey. ❝  Thinkin’ of anythin’ important ?   ❞ Tamaki casually asked, moving to lean his back against the railing while peering down at Sougo. He now understands how the blood between the former knight and the empire was horribly bad -- and there wasn’t even a need for Iori’s calculations for Tamaki to expect Sougo to be arrested upon sight.  ❝  Is this place givin’ ya the creeps ?  ❞  

[wishedvoyage]

determined-idols:

“The toppings are in the pantry. Can you fetch them for me?” he asked; Ryuu still had to keep a close eye on the chocolate until it would be ready. Total neglect would lead to burning, and the texture would be ruined if the water would be in contact with the concoction. “And to answer your question, Octo, four will suffice.” Octo was nodding, though with Tam making a mess once he would be finished with the cookie, he should at least tidy the horned nui up a bit. The wolf nui used a paper towel to wipe the other’s face.

❝  Sure.  ❞ With that, Tamaki went to fetch the toppings as instructed and set it on the side where Ryuunosuke would be able to reach. After that, he leaned his chin on the other’s shoulder, peering down at the chocolate with a curious gaze. Using his finger, swiped some up onto it and brought it to his lips to taste. Not bad. The horned nui whined a little when Octo came to wipe his face with a paper towel, only wanting more cookies at this point of time. Alas, anymore and he would get an upset stomach.

[wishedvoyage]

nijinookakera:

          “Thank you.” Tenn meant it. Always being on the watch for other’s happiness, even if he manages to hold words back and not fully explain what his own plans were, he always considered the best for others rather than himself. Like this, one could even say that this was what made Tenn happy. With his skills, he’d ensure that the trip would be its absolute best, for Mitsuki. “Hm, I hope you get plenty of rest all the same. Gaku is an early riser too, but tends to be up before the sunrise. In any case, will you be dropped off at the station or would you prefer that I have you picked up from the dorms?”

          The time was still ahead of them, yet if he could plan now, things should be okay. Hearing Mitsuki try to assuage any of Tenn’s worries, Tenn smiled, thankful that he was kept in good hands. “If I wasn’t an understanding person, then maybe I’d be more peeved about interruptions,” he responds, cutting up his cakes into smaller pieces. There certainly were several emotionally constipated few in that group. Surprisingly it’s been the older men causing a ruckus, but he supposed that came with them being raised to hold their emotions back. “But your friends are important to you too. You should be able to go to them without me holding you back.”

          How he meant it is, that Mitsuki shouldn’t have to worry about Tenn in those instances. If there wasn’t anyone around that acted as IDOLiSH7′s glue, it would be terrible, after all.

❝  Yaotome’s schedule is rather packed, isn’t it ? It’s amazing how much he could keep up with it.  ❞ Gaku is always hardworking and diligent, which brings Iori next to mind. The both of them are the same in that regard, which might be why they are best suited to take care of each other. Lately, Iori had been making more tonics for Gaku too. Although, Mitsuki puts that thought away when tenn brought up a question that needed a choice to be made. Humming softly, Mitsuki considered over it for awhile.  ❝  I’d like to travel with you, if it’s possible. It’s one of our rare days off so I want to be able to spend as much time as I can with you !  ❞     It was fortunate and very much like Tenn to be understanding. Mitsuki does not hold anything against their tendencies to keep their secrets and fears in a tightly shut box -- for Mitsuki is the same himself. It’s frightening in seeing a future where you would not be loved by those you cherish most because of your own flaws. The reality may not work that way -- but those emotions from fears sometimes are more powerful than logic no matter how much it persists. ❝  Yeah, I know,  ❞ Mitsuki replied, smiling softly and looking directly at his lover.  ❝  But I just wanted you to know that I am always looking forward to seeing you again ! Everyday with you is another day to see you smile cutely !  ❞

[wishedvoyage]

determined-idols:

Ryuu was busy melting the chocolate for the cream puffs; it would be dipped on top after each piece would be filled with the custard, which was currently at the fridge at this moment. The puffs were just freshly baked and they had to cooled down for easier handling. Though his lover wanted the pudding cake, it would be best saved for his birthday.

“We will dip the melted chocolate on top of the puffs after filling them with custard. Perhaps all of us can help in putting in the toppings. Sprinkles, nuts, anything that tickles your fancy.”

Octo saw Tam nibbling on the cookie, and at the suggestion of helping out, he raised a hand. “Mon mon mon mon?” How many toppings for this year’s batch, though?

@wishedvoyage

Those are some troublesome steps, but Tamaki assumed it would be well worth it if the treats come out delicious, especially if they were going to end up in Tamaki’s own mouth. He watches in his typical, lazy gaze as Ryuunosuke worked around, wondering if there was anything for him to do -- or sneak a bite out of. His hands were itching for it but Ryuunosuke always had that policy to eat only after everything was assembled in place.    ❝  I guess I could do that. Anythin’ else you need me to do ?  ❞ he asked while lingering around his lover, taking a few peeks at the other’s work every now and then. How many toppings though, Tamaki wondered, while looking at the heaps of ingredients on the counter. Rather than nibbling, Tam was chowing down on the cookie like a paper shredder, enthusiastically filling its tummy with the treat.

[wishedvoyage]

nijinookakera:

          There’s many reasons Yamato can list right this second, from first of all being the source of so many troubles from running away, since it hadn’t been only Nagi that’d been worried, to hurting him too because hell, how was he supposed to know that it was reciprocated ( an excuse )? It was fine if it had only been Yamato suffering, since he’s still convinced he’d be able to get over eventually, disregarding his heart thumping against his chest painfully when he so much as gazed over Nagi’s way all these months, but knowing he’d been the reason Nagi’s in pain too? He knew, it was also from running away so much, without explaining why, that hurt the blond; going so far as to lock his door from the goodnight hugs. 

          It was pretty silly to be crying, and hearing it from Nagi only made Yamato break out into a small laugh, wiping at his face to clear the tears and embarrassment for reacting instinctively like that, relief written all over his face as he leaned into Nagi’s touch. So much so, hearing that he was loved back – ah, he smiled radiantly at Nagi, a rare kind of smile that came when someone felt free from all their worries. Perhaps it shined more on Yamato at this moment since he carried his weight for so long. “Nagi…you really know what to say,” he responded, abashed for practically wooing over Nagi’s confession. “Now I feel lame for mine…” 

          Though he complained, he really wasn’t bothered currently, relishing in the moment, so far caught up in it that Yamato did want he’s been wanting to do for so long now: he moved forward to take Nagi into a hug, wrapping his arm’s around the other’s waist and resting his head against his shoulder. “Don’t tell me you’re actually a masochist if any of that running away was wonderful,” he attempts to joke, jabbing at himself for the mess he managed to create, had to wonder what Nagi could see in the lazy, coward that he is, especially as the oldest one out of them all. “You’re way too good to me, being patient like this.”

          Nagi has been everything positive in Yamato’s life so far, it was that powerful of a feeling, and honestly, he’s a tiny bit afraid of what it could mean. Knowing that someone had your heart in their hand so easily, trusting them to not crush it. 

Smiling still, Nagi held both of Yamato’s cheeks into his hands in a gentle hold. For many times, he had repeated Yamato’s confession in his head, indulging in the warmth it gives. Nagi is madly in love -- and that was the only condition he would offer himself in exchange of committing himself to another. Yamato’s voice, his expressions ... all of them he shall devote to in heart. He cannot help but feel that he’s the most blessed man in the world, to have found his fated love at long last. For all the times he had peeked beyond the curtains before his realization, Yamato had always been behind him.   ❝  My heart spoke to me its desires -- and I convey them to you in words. That is all I do,  ❞ he confesses, feeling more of his feelings piercing itself into his tone. ❝  There is nothing unsatisfactory in what you do, my Yamato. After all, it is your words and person that have created the beauty in my confession for you.  ❞ It was when Yamato hugged him when Nagi felt the weight of what he had missed for these few weeks. The goodnight hugs that never made it between them ... Nagi finally received one that is full of love. Full of Yamato. Wrapping his own arms around Yamato’s shoulders, he buries his nose into his lover’s hair. There is no one else he would offer his entire heart to -- and he intends to remind Yamato with every bit of his affections. For what fears that may fall into Yamato’s hands, Nagi shall cast them away for as long as he’s allowed to be with him. ❝  Oh, I do not take pleasure in having your back turned against mine,  ❞ he corrected. It wouldn’t have been as pleasant or soul-fulfilling if they had not confessed in this very room, if Nagi still assumed Yamato despised him. Picking up one of Yamato’s hand, he held it against his own chest where his heart lay thrumming beneath. ❝  Even as you ran, I always thought of you returning. I needed you too ... The idea of your permanent absence scares me, that I had selfishly refused to admit to it. Thus I waited ... hoping for you to face me with a smile.  ❞

[wishedvoyage]

nijinookakera:

          What a casual response to the purposely silly comment Tenn had made. He tenderly smiled, a brief huff of a chuckle hidden away behind it. A true smile – could he do it? Does he even deserve to?

          “Those happy memories are what I want you to keep,” Tenn admits, and knew that, just like with all his fans, he couldn’t handle it if he let any of them down; so he pushes himself to give the best every time. He nods at Mitsuki’s wants, as Tenn saw them as, saying, “That works for me. I can find a reservation for us, and also provide the tickets for the subway to get there.”

          While Mitsuki may have had his own plans to be the provider for everything, it’s Tenn that would take up what he could first, never having been the one that is spoiled but rather the one that spoils. It became that way perhaps from how he grew up, but he never questioned why that is, continuing to do anything that made others happy in place of himself. “I don’t want for you to be worried about not getting everything you want done in one day, but I’ll make sure it’s a fun one too. It’ll mean getting up early, but I can have us dropped at the station.”

Mitsuki hopes that he could bring more of such smiles to Tenn’s face -- perhaps till the point of fearing at the thought of him couldn’t. However, everytime Tenn genuinely smiled and laughed in his presence, Mitsuki’s fears went away in a second and was replaced with an undefeated joy.  ❝  I’ll let you handle those then, Tenn,  ❞ Mitsuki replied cheerfully, having no qualms with splitting the arrangements between them. He knows how Tenn wouldn’t have accepted himself being the only one spoiled -- and every bit of what makes Tenn happy and comfortable counts. Tenn was very much like Mitsuki himself in that manner -- preferring to work hard for others than be coddled. ❝  No worries there. I am an early riser ! We got ourselves a plan.  ❞ With those plans in mind, Mitsuki continued to eat his dessert and took a sip out of his drink before setting it back onto the table. ❝  I have been waiting for a chance to do this with you in a long time. Everyone seems to be in a good place now too so I can be off without worries. I have to apologize to you though ... even while I wouldn’t think any less than helping my friends out, I still feel bad for leaving you in all those times ...  ❞

[wishedvoyage]

❝  Oh. What are you doing for the cream puffs now ?  ❞ Tamaki asks as he peeks from his lover’s side, trying to catch a glimpse of what the other was doing. It would be Valentine’s Day soon and they were making cream puffs for the occasion ( Tamaki had wanted pudding cake ). However, despite the both of them being active in the kitchen, it was truly Ryuunosuke who only knew how to bake while Tamaki was merely following instructions.  Tam, on the other hand, was on the counter with Octo and nibbling on a cookie that was handed to him in exchange for his good behaviour. @determined-idols

[wishedvoyage]

nijinookakera:

          “I go outside.”

          There’s a vast list of chores that he’s much more capable of doing, hell he does most of his own stunts as long as they weren’t too far from his capabilities, but that’s closer to being open about himself and Yamato wouldn’t admit to being the one that scrubs the bathtub clean when it became too grimy to the other members much less his own older brother. Opening up made you vulnerable, like cutting out your insides for the other person to see everything, from your fears to your flaws, and outside of getting drunk, Yamato never revealed too much about himself. At least the personal things. 

          Until just today that is, with the stress of it all making him ill. “Many people are right,” he said, thinking on the one painful secret he continues to keep to himself, and perhaps he is using his brother’s invite to get away from that certain person a little longer. Once he gets seated, he takes the time to put on his seat belt, then settle against the door, his stare watching their surroundings. Once again, he left without saying anything to the others. Again, he’s running away, and Yuki’s comments didn’t exactly make Yamato any happier about his choice. Sure, they’d be worried about him showing up sick to the dorms – disappearing after an emotional reveal wouldn’t make them any less worried.

          He’s going to get a lot of texts soon enough… Wondering where he went to, if he’s back at the dorms already. Who’d be the first to check up on him? Yamato’s guessing it’s be Mitsu, that guy’s always been pretty fast on those things, though it wouldn’t hurt to have Nagi worry after him but with the leader’s ignoring act, he doubted that would happen. It’d only lead to a talk he does not want to have. Neither is bringing that up with Yuki, because Yuki’s way of doing things involved mortifying Yamato, and he doesn’t need that too; unfortunately the oldest is the one he could get some advice from that knows things, a pro actor in his own right that Yamato did look up to if he ignored that personality, their blood relation, that voice, and– well, basically everything.

          Glancing out of the corner of his eye at his brother, Yamato quickly trained it back on the window. “Don’t get too comfy with me being back here so soon,” he said, attempting to voice out his plight without making it obvious but no matter how he worded it, it was obvious what was going on. “In the end, I’ll have to go back before they think I’m trying to leave them again.” 

❝  So do I. On occasions, for leisure.  ❞ Yuki does make visits to places, despite how he wouldn’t seem to be the kind to others. If Momo were to request it, Yuki would make the time to head out for small errands. Momo never demanded much out of Yuki, even if his partner needed to do so. That was a fact never lost on him. Yuki was no longer the guy dependent on Banri, despite his old lifestyles sometimes seducing him into periods of laziness. His legs were quicker to walk faster - in fears of driving Momo away like he did Banri.  The tendency to be quiet about their feelings seemed consistent between the two siblings -- same with how one of their reasons they would be misunderstood was because of it. Yuki never needed to mind, because he thought that Momo would understand him without speaking but he was also naive. Yamato, himself, wouldn’t be spared regardless of who that was involved in this dilemma. Before that person disappears in Yamato’s life, before it becomes a stain in Yamato’s guilt -- it had best be avoided.  After all ... who truly would think of someone as significant and loved as to cause you that much of pain and fear, to be a mere speck of dust that could be wiped off ? ❝  You would rather be prepared when you return than to enter unprepared and throwing yourself into another conflict now, wouldn’t you ?  ❞ he asks, even though the answer is obvious. Yamato is fortunate that Yuki could spare a few more throats for his little brother’s dilemma.  ❝  You are not used to saying anything and it made you too comfortable.  ❞ It wasn’t that different for Yuki either, even now. Those silence had made themselves too at home. However, Yuki is better off in the regard that he would choose the greater good -- than to dare pick a lesser evil.

[wishedvoyage]

nijinookakera:

          Hearing Iori’s typically calm voice be tiny, fragile in its utterance, as if at any moment the younger would shatter into pieces, pulled at Gaku’s heartstrings. The teary eyes, his worry increased. As did his desire to remain close to Iori again, as he held his former lover closely as soon as Iori leaned into him. Firmly, to not have Iori be taken away. Wishes that he could figure out it is that he has to do to alleviate Iori’s pain.

          “No, it’s not your fault, Iori,” Gaku remarks, distressed; dammit, none of this had ever been Iori’s fault, neither of theirs, but the oldest felt that he should have been able to prevent this from ever happening. That guilt also weighed heavy on him too. “It’s my fault, I should have kept it from leaking out.” It’s his own fault for allowing himself too much freedom with expressing his feelings, especially with one that was considered an idol from a rival company, and a younger male at that, but how could he not? Iori was his everything. To deny expressing how he felt was denying their shared love. 

          But even then…he should have tried harder. Keep it to secret dates he knew the paparazzi couldn’t catch them in, keep further away from each other during interviews. Tenn always warned him how easily he expressed his emotions, had he been staring too much? Gaku had costed them their relationship, all due to his carelessness. “Hey, hey, we were forced to break apart, but we’re not ruined,” Gaku says, coaxing Iori to look up at him, wiping at his face. Their reputation had luckily been safe from that disaster, even if the damage had been done. Had it been worse and Yaotome Productions hadn’t used their connections quick enough, a public apology would’ve been done, with both their group’s rankings nosediving, their sales, gone. All over them dating. How inane, to deny two people from being together, yet at the same time Gaku didn’t want to disappoint their fans… Gaku wished he could make everyone happy, instead of being controlled. “This whole time we were apart, I still love you. That hasn’t changed, Iori.” 

          It’s everything else that changed.

Every single heartbeat was made for Gaku, every single thrumming was made alive for Gaku’s voice. The usual Iori would not have let his expression gave way. That ... utterly hopelessly in love face, the I need you face. Iori had no one, other than his family, close to his heart as Gaku did - so naturally and unexpectedly ( to himself ), he had fallen so hard he could barely stand up again. Gaku’s voice heals him as much as its absence could destroy him. Hearing that it wasn’t his fault did not alleviate Iori’s pain -- not as much as hearing that Gaku still loves him dearly and that aspect hadn’t changed. It was the same for Iori or rather, he might have realized he loves Gaku even harder during this period of separation. Every single fear he would’ve been ashamed to have clenched at every corners of his chest. It was as though his paradise had been taken away from him. ❝  You still love me … ?  ❞ Iori whispered, gazing up at Gaku with renewed hope in his eyes - or if not, the work of alcohol that made his usual efforts on keeping a composure sloppy. However, his heart did lighten at his own repetition and he could feel himself falling, and falling into that mad desire to rectify the pain in the present. The consequences in the future ... was cast aside by the barriers the alcohol created between himself and his own heart.  Slowly, Iori leaned up and took Gaku’s cheeks in his hand, closing the distance between their lips into a warm kiss. This was what he wanted. He wanted this so much that he didn’t realize that everyone had gathered around the two and watching them intensely as though it was soap opera.