A lot of people here are sold on the idea that mythic Hades is the nerd, stick up his ass dude in a gaggle of godly people. But I think that’s really forgetting who all else the rest of the Greek pantheon is. Like, there’s a lightning bully with a near medical inability to not have sex with everything (consentual or not) and his wife, the picture of feminism and sovereignty, unless she finds out who her husband fucked last cause then she literally finds the worst possible thing to do and then does that, a guy so obsessed with killing shit he sleeps in a bed made from the skin of the people he’s killed and literally no one likes this guy, a cosmic shipper born from sky jizz, a dude that causes people to literally lose all of the shit just by being next to him and if you make him real mad you lose your shit so hard you die, and that’s just from the top of my head.
Hades isn’t the nerdy one, he’s the normal one added into this sitcom of dieties as a stand in for audience.
Like I bet he hates those family get togethers. They all round up to feast, and across the table and two people down Athena is all, “and she desecrated by temple with all her ‘help me my goddess’ and struggling to not be raped and ugh her femininess everywhere. So naturally I turned her into a snake monster so ugly people turn to stone when they look directly at her. What did you do this week Hades?”
“Grew a heart Athena. I grew a godsdamned heart. You should try it sometime”
And then Hermes comes up a few minutes later and is all, “i had the best sex of my life. This chick, Oooo you should have seen her, she was all like 'chase me chase me’, well maybe not in words but she was fucking bookin it. And I thought, she’s gotta come back, so I put some slippy stuff down and sure enough she came right back fell on her ass and I was so there man, just in it man! You guys do anything fun?”
And Hades has this huge vien popping out of his forehead, “My job. I did my job.” And Persephone pats his arm like, “in 2 hours we can leave, I promise”
