bad ghost puns

hi I'm a witch and I make shitposts. you can follow my main witchy blog at notawitchnopedefinitelynot.tumblr.com

[worldswewrite]

Tumblr users: I’m here for a long time, not a good time.

Everyone else: wait. Don’t you mean–

Tumblr users: I know what I said.

[just-shower-thoughts]

When you go to the liquor store and ask the person at the counter for help selecting a bottle, they become your spirit guide.

[witchyshitposts]

Me @ my parents

What are you going to do, fire me?

[witchyshitposts]

They say witchcraft doesn’t work but every time I light a candle I summon my mom to explain why candles are dangerous and will kill me if I ever light them

[witchyshitposts]

Me @ my dad

You clearly have not concepted the gravy of this situation

[witchyshitposts]

me, making challenges on Chopped

you will have twenty minutes to use raw red onions and white truffle oil to make bread pudding in the ice cream machine

[witchyshitposts]

Mom: *is afraid to go out on ‘witch holidays’ bc she’s afraid of being cursed*

Me, sitting in the kitchen with a bowl of milk in my hands: death to capitalism

[lilliumlithiumwitch]

Witchcraft in theory: houses and cabins smelling of herbs and smoke, black cats, gothic fashion, pentagrams and summoning demons, ancient looking tarot cards

Witchcraft in reality: “SIR THAT IS MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT ROCK”

[anarchy-kisses]

It’s Black History Month, y’all

[witchyshitposts]

Mom: *is afraid to go out on 'witch holidays' bc she's afraid of being cursed*

Me, sitting in the kitchen with a bowl of milk in my hands: death to capitalism

[broadway-conpiracies]

Remember this girl?

She’s actually Martha Dunnstock from Heathers. This is what she did while Veronica was hanging out with the Heathers

[1000125]

sometimes i just sit and think about ways a genie can grant wishes.

[witchyshitposts]

This gender stereotype is bullshit

Yeet

[vladtheunfollower]

reblog if you’re barely tolerable

[heatherwitch]

recommend some good witch shitposting tumblrs and other good witch tumblrs! Love your blog!

Oh I don’t have the time or energy to even start listing all of the amazing people out there! 💕

[witchyshitposts]

I'm a shit blog, does that count? Lmao

[thisisthesadplace]

(Screenshotted from my other blog @saltysurvivors) same rules apply here!!

[stormwaterwitch]

A spell to dispel unwanted thoughts

1.) Lay down on the floor 2.) Scream