just want to be thin again

1 days binge free recovered and relapsed then recovered and relapsed lmao hw 164lbs cw 161 gw 130 (relapse weight) ugw 110 (recent lw) art school bitch

[tgoldenart]

I am a multimedia artist and advocate interested in the physicality of the body. Taking inspiration from my experience as a transgender man, and thus my own altered and ever changing body, I create large fiber sculptures reminiscent of the human form. These "pillows,” as I call them, are meant to evoke feelings of intimacy, comfort, transformation, and familiarity, while still maintaining the aura of discomfort and mystery that we all feel in relation to our own physical bodies. By placing these forms together, I hope to evoke a feeling of community, sensuality, and physicality, while also juxtaposing “unusual” or “altered” bodies against conventional bodies to promote normalization of transgender, tattooed, fat, and/or minority bodies among us in our communities.

[withereddesires]

hey, i’m not using this blog anymore

i still really struggle with my eating, i’m probably bullmic now not anorexic lmao

i’ve gained a lot of weight but that’s okay, i can enjoy life my friends relationships and food now, things weren’t perfect but with weight gain they’ve gotten better

any of my thin pictures, i’m miserable in them and i STILL thought i was fat

i urge every single one of the 600 odd of u to seek recovery, or as close to recovery as u can currently get. there’s a whole world outside of ed’s

lots of love and feel free to message me at any time, i mean that

[coloredskinny]

[melancholic-fragility]

[starvingstag]

Turns out

If you stop bingeing, you actually do lose weight

[lightasana]

don’t call me out like this

[withereddesires]

if any of my followers are under 15...

it makes me so sad when i think about all the younger people with eating disorders in this community (i know it’s tragic at any age but hear me out). My youngest memories were hearing my body and i developed an eating disorder at around 11 then was hospitalised for it at about 12/13 years old. when you have an eating disorder so young it really fucks with u, i was a very immature and stunted 14/15 year old bc i spent so much time in hospital wards with much older kids and had no idea what most people my age were like. thankfully i made a somewhat recovery around the age of 15/16 and i could somewhat enjoy being a teenager again, going out drinking going to concerts etc. but then i relapsed at 17 and it’s had such a big impact on my teenage years once again, i isolate myself and when i do go out drinking i usually embarrass myself by drinking too much on an empty stomach and have horrible regret the next morning, unable to remeber what i said the night before. anyway younger people with eating disorders, as an elder of the community please feel like u can confide in me, the earlier into your ed u recover the better the chance of a true recovery is, and more than anything please don’t waste these years on a horrible disorder, go out, have fun u deserve your teenage years

[withereddesires]

bringing this back bc it didn’t get that much attention and it’s so important

[withereddesires]

all my recovered and relapsed people!!

can y’all please share your experience of how/if your eating disorder has changed after recovering and relapsing?? i used to have a very classic restrictive form of anorexia when i was a pre teen and rarlely binged, i also used to be able to lose like 1lb a day!! even if i restrict as much as i used to back then (like 0-400 caps a day plus exercise) i’m lucky if i lose 1/2 lb a day and i most likely lose 1/4. is this normal? is this just my metabolism punishing me for having a bmi of like 13.5 at one point or am i the exception?

[withereddesires]

bringing this back bc losing weight is so hard after initial illness, recovery, relapse, bulimia/bed and relapse

[indigestionedifarfalle]

Is it just me or does anyone else feel different when they’re hungry? It’s like my body looks different to me after I eat, like I can go the whole day not eating and I’ll feel skinny and my collar bones will seem to stick out more and my waist will be a little slimmer. But then when I eat it feels like I grow 2 sizes bigger and all of a sudden I’m fat again and never want to eat again. It happens even if I eat like a carrot or something really low cal. I don’t know I feel so stupid

[vcoldxfingers]

My dude

I think we may have body dysmorphia

[the-internet-is-my-outlet]

Bruh

I think us three have the same body dysmorphia

[unwanteddepression2]

anyone who reblogs this has body dysmorphia. i don’t make the rules

[ana-stasias-world]

I don’t make the rules either body dysmorphia right here

[withereddesires]

i’m sure i’ve said something about this before but it fucks me up when i see calls for more representation in thinspo. yes woc aren’t represented in thinspo at all and that is definetly due to racism and colourism but thinspo is a horrible, evil little toxic thing that we participate in as a community. don’t try to promote “wokeness” in your thinspo for the sake of it because the glorification of emanciated bodies, often of extremely ill people is horrible and should not be promoted. regardless, i understand that a lot of us cannot stop using thinspo but know how damaging it is for the person in it and those consuming it

[withereddesires]

i can’t wait to move in with my friends in a few weeks time, i can’t binge and purge since they’re all in the house and we share a bathroom and they’ll be in and out of my room

if i don’t finally get skinny again bc of this i’m killing myself

[withereddesires]

hey guys i’m doing an art project (all submissions are purely for research purposes and are confidential)

what do u guys place value in? this can be related to your eating disorder or not. i’m looking at how eating disordered people asses and quantify value in their life, or what traits/qualities they value,

pls reblog this so i can reach a greater audience x

[withereddesires]

not to be dramatic but if someone asked me “when was the last time u ate” i’d probably c*m instantly

[withereddesires]

i’m down 4lbs over the last week or so 🥰

[m777rty-deactivated20200130]

[flowers-under-her-skin]

[withereddesires]

*sees self at specific angle* oh god i’m so fucking fat it’s out of control guess i have to kill myself so i don’t have to be perceived

*sees self at same angle when i’ve been restricting* omg wow i’m skinnier than i thought this is okay

[withereddesires]

feel like shit today