HIS HANDS ARE ALL OVER HER and she only wants them to keep going , but she has at least half a mind . it's something deep within her , but she hardly knows him , at least not like this . there's a certain sense of intimacy coming from the setting , and from their little secret hideout pressed against her bed . from the shared knowledge and the trading and giggles that their friends couldn't fathom understanding .
now , so close , she can appreciate so much more of him . despite the work she does with her hands , they're baby soft , every inch of her skin scrubbed and lotioned , hands gloved when she fashions salves and tonics for protection . his are pleasant and real , telling stories without words .
then , he speaks and she's giggling like a child , giddy from the kiss . it's amusing , she thinks of the strings of obscenities she's heard from nearly everyone in her life . ❝ we still say 'em , just in private , ❞ asterid insists through a shy smile . she doesn't , not really , but most do . like decent folk , her parents would say . she didn't much like the sentiment .
when his arm's grip loosens on her , she's disappointed . still , she leans her cheek into his hand on impulse . asterid releases the vice grip on his shirt reluctantly , letting her hand fall to her thigh , fingertips still absently messing with the fabric while the other rested at the crook of his neck , skin on skin , wishing for more .
her mind's a mess , but that's nothing new . it spins and spins , but this new cloud of HIM threatens to take over , the haze taking over all sense of normalcy .
it's silly , she doesn't like the thought of him kissing anyone else , though she hardly has a leg to stand on . everyone knew he was a catch . talented , smart , funny , and totally inaccessible to everyone in her circles . she fights the urge to imagine it , burdie with some pretty seam girl with silky black hair and bright eyes . but he moves , and her lips part just barely on impulse , pressing a kiss to his thumb as it brushes by .
this time , she blushes . a lack of overlying color sends her cheeks bright pink with warmth . ❝ i've been kissed before , ❞ her tone is almost defensive , insisting upon itself . and she has , plenty . not as much as the rumor mill would say , but more than most thought was actually true , all things considered . there'd been boys , chaste little pecks and heated exchanges for her to run from before they got too far . but then , there'd been maysilee . practicing , that was the word they used , but they weren't idiots , only curious and scared .
on a moment's reflection , she needs to backtrack . what if he thought poorly of her , even if he'd done the same ? she might just die right there . ❝ but not a lot . this is special for me , i ain't easy . ❞ admittedly , there's no justification , no reason for him to believe this wasn't how every first kiss went .
if she were honest with herself , she didn't quite understand how they'd found each other like this , either .
the door isn't locked , she'd warned him the first several times . but people were prone to knocking – she was a teenage girl and she ought to be asleep . very few things couldn't wait 'till morning . she hoped there'd be enough time . time to push him down , to usher him under her bed or into the closet , to slip under her sheets and be convincingly half-awake . it's utilitarian , really , how her neat dresses have to be switched out for her summer nightclothes . always some candy-colored set that leaves her feeling naked in comparison to the day . it's improper , but he's only burdie , and she couldn't ward off the beating of her heart with her heaviest winter coat .
her breath catches . she grins , biting down on her lip out of habit as she looked at him from a more comfortable distance , each bit of him in focus . ❝ me , too , all of it . ❞ she admits , the flush coming raging back with a vengeance to her cheeks . she likes him , she's been thinking about kissing him , so she does . she leans in , kissing him once again , giving into the urge . slow and soft , not rushing things , she wants to savor the moment . when she gets the courage , she pulls back once more , careful not to let herself get carried away in the heat of the moment .
she speaks shyly , unlike herself , especially with him . usually , they could talk plants , something she knew well enough to offset all that she didn't know about life . ❝ i don't wanna kiss anybody else , not if we're gonna be hangin' out , ❞ she says . they aren't anything , not really . nothing demanding any sort of exclusivity , but her heart's spoken up . ❝ you ... don't have'ta do the same . i'm not your girl or nothing , but i thought you oughta know how i am , 'cause i know how boys talk . ❞