A short and odd looking creature walks up to you and says
"You look dumb and unsuspecting, would you like to see my wares?"
The utter audacity to insult you without even introducing himself makes you want to punch him and tell him to get lost, but something about his eyes make you just curious enough to ask...
"what are you selling?"
"I've traveled far and wide!" He says while ushering you look out into the beyond to Invision his tale. "So far even your sun does not light my path. And I've come across many wonderful things that, for the right price, I'd be willing to sell to you."
"Did you steal them?" You say more like a statement than a real question.
"Details!" Is all he replies before continuing his pitch. "What kind of items I hear you saying...well only the best in the magical and mystical of course!"
"Magic doesn't exist. You can't really expect me to believe you." You say starting to make your way back to the sensical and mundane you're used to.
"WAIT!" He shouts running into you view again. "Just look at this! It's size my be a deterrent but one swipe of this and your enemies are as good as dead thanks to the enchantment on it!" He pulls out what is clearly a rusty butter knife and waves it around while wiggling his fingers at it.
"enchanted?" You echo back sceptically.
"Oh yes! And look here, this furry ball has the ability to start fires bigger than a house!"
"that's just a ball of dryer lint."
"To the untrained eye it can appear like it is but trust me it is not!"
You roll your eyes but his dumb and obvious gimmick makes you smile. "What else you got?"
"I'm so glad you asked! Look here sucker I have a truly devious contraption! This has the ability to cure disease but if in the wrong hands could also poison any who come into contact with it! I've had to keep it in a sealed container to ensure no one gets hurt while near it."
He pulls out a old wrinkled plastic bag with the moldiest piece of bread you've ever seen. The disgusting sight pulls you to you senses and you let out a long sigh.
"I don't want this garbage, try this with someone else."
"this isn't garbage! This is the finest in magical items on the market!" He yells while holding his wares above his head. "I found them in the most dangerous and dark places I've ever been and was even chased by beasts to get them!"
You're already halfway down the street before he finishes his tale. Whoever is dumb enough to fall for that guys tricks would have to be crazier than him to be sure. You round the street corner with the sound of him cursing as he's realized he lost the sale.
