YOU ARE THE REASON
Mike Driver
Not today Justin

tannertan36
Peter Solarz
we're not kids anymore.
Today's Document
noise dept.
ojovivo
No title available

if i look back, i am lost
Claire Keane
Keni
Sweet Seals For You, Always
One Nice Bug Per Day
Game of Thrones Daily
Acquired Stardust
AnasAbdin
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
Monterey Bay Aquarium
seen from Bangladesh
seen from Bangladesh

seen from United States
seen from Bangladesh

seen from Germany
seen from United States

seen from T1
seen from United States

seen from Malaysia
seen from Australia

seen from Australia
seen from Germany
seen from United States
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seen from United States
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@withyulavava
“Forget all the reasons why it wont work and believe the one reason why it will.”
— Unknown
*heal
...Fuck AI. Write like you have a deadline. Write like a teenage girl buried deep in fanfiction dreams, all full of flowery language and words being lost to illiteracy and elitism. Write like your very heart is bleeding onto the page and spilling emotion like paint on a canvas. Write like death is on your doorstep, but you have one last thing to say. Write like the world is ending and language is being lost. Write like people have forgotten how to love and only you can remind them how. Write like you're a god of creation bringing life to whole worlds with nothing but words and a dream. And as you do so, remember to stretch out thy divine hand...
And give AI the fucking finger.
I have three birds to send- three chances to get one in your hand.
Na ka make e koi mua ia'u.
It translates to may death claim me first.
I implore you to not forget these words. May you remember the true extent of friendship.
P.S.- my teacher almost busted me while writing this but he was too nice to say anything. kms.
I have three birds to send. Three chances for you to find it.
Ya'aburnee.
It means you bury me.
May you remember that kind of love exists in moments of deepest despair.
There is an old saying among diplomats.
If you are not at the table, you're on the menu.
Don't pity yourself. Don't pity yourself no matter what. That's what the internet told me, but I can't help it.
I can't help but pity the girl who was so eager to have friends that when one of her classmates who broke off their close friendship, she carefully gauged their mood and adjusted herself accordingly. She wormed her way to her classmate's circle and my, she was so happy that she made friends out of everyone else too.
Months later, when it fell apart, she fell apart as well. But that wasn't her worst fear. She fell back into her old routine. Solitude.
It chipped away at the fake act she put on and helped her find her way back. Still, she is so careful, she dare not read her journal of this year. Write and turn over the page. Looking back means risking falling back again.
I can pick myself up if I fall apart again but I'm not so sure about falling back.
Tips for Dysfunctional Family Girlies Part 2:
1) Get your basics straight. Education. Boundaries. Financial independence. Further breaking it down and linking it if you get proper education at some point you are bound to get an awareness of this world, if you are able to adapt and improvise yourself and develop your emotional intelligence and get your boundaries straight you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary drama and problems. Education (formal and informal) both will help you in gaining opportunities and if you are financially independent, you are holding the power to make your own decisions.
2) Develop thick skin. Your mom is calling you names. Slut, whore and what not. Your dad doesn't trust you and abuses you physically. So, what now? Are you going to let them define what you are or internalize the anger and use it as a fuel to become successful? Choice is yours.
3) They say you don't owe an explanation to anyone. Sorry to burst your little bubble. Actually you do. We live in a society and have relationships that we need to maintain for survival. This hyper independent stuff is only good to read. We have responsibilities that we need to fulfill. If you don't owe an explanation to anyone then don't cry about a closure from someone too. If you can live by this go ahead and practice it.
4) Stop isolating yourself. That's it. That's the point.
5) First kill the fear inside you. Being a rebel outside the house is no good. Be disciplined. Know how to manipulate your family members in your favor and if you can't just find the weak points and threaten. I know it's difficult to implement but you learn through trial and error. Plus something is better than nothing.
6) Stop glorifying people who treat you with kindness and love. That's the bare minimum. Just because you didn't get it served in a silver spoon doesn't mean it is not served in a silver spoon. People can have ulterior motives and even if they don't fix it in your brain that's normal. No rose colored glasses allowed.
7) Don't be afraid of indulging in your sexuality. No I am not saying go and have sex with people. I mean it in a deeper sense. Connect with the repressed sexual side and try to find healthy outlets. Don't dim yourself to fit in others'expectations or to ease someone's insecurity. Be unapologetic about your wants and desires. Know yourself. It's a powerful energy source if you know how to use it positively.
8) Cry, cry and cry. Wail like a child. No need to keep it all in. No need to act like a macho woman BUT only in front of your god or your belief system. Max in front of your truly trusted people.
9) Question everything as easily as breathing. Doubt every thing. Every action. Every person. What proof do you have to not doubt ? Stop giving benefit of doubts. Stop looking for excuses on how they could be good and instead look for ways in which they can harm you. That's your lottery to be poised and composed. It's just what it is.
10) Obsession. We have it in loads. That's natural to us. So the trick here is to be obsessive. Hella obsessive but about things, topics, goals, subjects, inanimate things,etc. God forbid but never be obsessive about a person. Not even over your dead body. Why? For that I need to make another detailed post I think.
Let me be free. Let me not dismiss myself any longer- there is so much work I will do. Let me be free.
Let me be free.
I know many things. For example, I know that you can read books and block your mind to psychological trauma. I know that alcohol should not exist.
What baffles is the perverse craving to be insulted and cast off once more. It's like my body is hungry for another reason as to why I am unworthy and unkempt.
For years, I have done everything by the book. Actually the book is metaphorical. There were no books for me. It was my mind screaming at me to think, to do something, before adults permanently scar me.
I did things and yet I am scarred.
Yet the darkness clings.
I don't feel anger. I haven't felt happiness or optimism in years, which isn't saying a lot since I'm only a child, barely past 13 but I feel lust, instead. Isn't that laughable?
Lust. A fourteen-year-old girl feeling lust. It's not me judging, it's every adult who got implanted in my head.
I hate them, I think. I want to see them razed down. I want to be alive, yet all that consists of is following their rules and being a stick-thin barbie. As long as it brings others money, they say things and do things.
I don't know what are my thoughts and what are the thoughts I've picked up from social media. There is no other place to gather information.
I do not know why they make children, if this is the world we must live in. This is no life and there is no light.
This is why I don't think there is a God. If there was one, wouldn't this planet be flooded by his tears? If he built us, he would give us a better world, or he'd take us away altogether.
Rehmat, it's called. Mercy.
What the fuck, guys? What the fuck.
I have always loved avocados, but my parents kept saying to look for something cheaper.
Years later, I buy everything.
Everything but avocados.
They didn't care. They never did. But I thought they would- and they let me die with that thought. It makes me angry- this carelessness.
You were a child of the sun and rain. The rainbow, you were called.
You came out covered in dew and paint and all that was alive. You felt like the very sun was your heart and the moon, your mind. Your laughter carried away like the sound of raindrops hitting the ground.
When you saw the dark, gloomy shadows on others, you ran after them, trying to get the paint on them as well. They shot you a glare and went away. Soon, your parents came to give you a bath. They said it would cleanse you and wipe away dirt. You didn't realize you were dirty.
You didn't struggle because you were curious. They put you under frigid water, dunking your head in and out. They cut your hair with a blunt blade and called it taming. You didn't realize you were wild.
After the bath, your skin cracked as dryness spread. It was no longer soft and dusky. It grew pale and dry, like everyone else's.
Years later, you realize you had been tricked. They stole it. Your color, your valour. You tried to help them and they took away your paint.
You grow angry. Bitterness pokes and prods you, but your mind is still there- a piece of moon hidden away, where no one thought to look.
Still, the sun is gone.