Official updates from your local Wizard Council

Nominated for Best Wizard Council of the 5th Era by local Wizard Council

[wizard-council]

Sir, do you know what your own council is doing? The new member is literally an anti-magic zealot.

Yeah we get those sometimes. Usually the gnomes get them within the week.

[wizard-council]

HELLO, I'M DEFINITELY NOT A CURSED BLADE WHO'S SWORN VENGEANCE UPON ALL WIZARDS. COULD YOU TELL ME WHO THE WIZARD COUNCIL CONSISTS OF AND HOW I COULD KILL A LARGE AMOUNT OF WIZARDS AT ONCE? I DESIRE THIS INFORMATION FOR NON-NEFARIOUS REASONS.

I don't really pay attention to the other members, I just do what I want and shred their letters when they send them. As for killing wizards? For an enterprising cursed blade such as yourself I happen to have an even smaller cursed blade for sale. Guaranteed to kill any wizard and you can get it on sale right now for 5 easy payments of 19.99!

[wizard-council]

I CAST BLOOD SPONGE

If I still had my blood I'd be very mad right now.

[wizard-council]

Why do you show up to the Board of Archmages meetings?

To steal.

Why else?

[wizard-council]

Hi I'm an evil wizard any thoughts

Hey! Me too!

[wizard-council]

Oh you not rockin wit me!? Then you are fated to die in obscurity knave.

[wizard-council]

Who will be winning the big game today?

Magic 8 Ball says: Ragnarok Ultimus, the tailor's young lad will win at the last second with a half court shot. Adjust your bets accordingly and pay your taxes on it.

[wizard-council]

What is your view on the skeleton war?

Kick ass! After my ex-wife took my skin and I got drafted, they deployed me right to the front line and it's been a blast so far. Be there or be square losers.

[wizard-council]

Sir, I'm with WIZARD NEWS. What's it like to be head of the Council sir? I mean, the color councils are hard enough to manage as is, I imagine it must be tough running the big one.

It sucks. My peons are so mean and they bite me even though I am so lovely and nice and give them treats such as gruel made from cave moss and roadkill.

[wizard-council]

Stop trying to slay the skeleton that's been hanging around the council chambers. It's me you buffoons! My blasted ex-wife took my skin in the divorce.

[wizard-council]

Did you know that you need a wizard license? I didn't! Turns out I've been practicing illegally for the quite a while! Oh well, I'll get around to it next week, probably.

[wizard-council]

Bro can I borrow your Philosophers Stone for a second? Mine ran out of human souls. Yeah. C'mon bro I just need to resurrect my mom real quick. Won't take more then a minute, promise. Thanks bro.

*Casts Return*

[wizard-council]

Due to a tragic incident in the council chambers, we've had to update our behavioral guidelines for council meetings.

Soup Spray is now a banned spell.

The Flesh is no longer allowed in council chambers.

Vampires are no longer allowed in council chambers, rule enforced by the sun.

[wizard-council]

If you perchance stop by a "Gas Station" during the witching hour, you might just find yourself fortunate enough to encounter a mystical being known as a "Crack Head" who carries valuable wizard rocks as loot.

[humm-bird]

Head of the wizard council, sir. Those are not wizard rocks, they are drugs. -council member hummbirb

[wizard-council]

Well they certainly make me feel like a wizard.

[wizard-council]

If you perchance stop by a "Gas Station" during the witching hour, you might just find yourself fortunate enough to encounter a mystical being known as a "Crack Head" who carries valuable wizard rocks as loot.

[wizard-council]

wizard slut 9000

Do you have one of those webbed sites?

[wizard-council]

How about you ponder some boobies you nerd? 🤣🤪😎 #bardlife

I am pondering the proper trajectory to launch a massive ball of fire right at your bard tent.