International Women’s Day – being the only girl in the room
Photo by seabass creatives on Unsplash
Back when I was working in Student Union events, I’d invite one or two members of the volunteer tech team to shadow on the larger, professional concerts. One gig, a fairly shy female student who was shadowing asked me how I deal with being ‘the only girl’ in the room.
Looking around, I realised that in a room of 20+ people beavering away putting the gig together, we were indeed the only two women. I told her something about just getting stuck in, getting the job done, just ‘getting on with it’ and throwing yourself into the team–but in my head I knew what I really wanted to say was, “SHHHHH! Don’t mention that, they’ll notice we’re not boys.”
For a long time that was my approach: if you don’t make a big deal about being the only girl, they don’t need to make a thing about you being a girl. You’re just doing your job just like they’re doing their job. I’m a person who can do the job as well as the next person, and the fact that I’m a woman doesn’t need to be a thing. To further bury the issue, I made a point of being able to lift heavy things without help and avoided openly doing female-coded things like fussing about my appearance or getting emotional. I didn’t ask for special dispensations.
However, it’s hard to deny that sometimes, it is a thing. And sometimes, ingrained misogyny can make it a thing where it needn’t be.
When I was 15, I thought I might like to become a sound engineer. I applied to do work experience at a recording studio in Birmingham. I went down with my Dad to meet the owner and check it out. The owner (a guy) asked me if I really thought this was worth his while. “It’s tough being a sound engineer – there’s not that many positions out there - there’s maybe 2 or 3 studios in Birmingham,” he told me, “and not one of them has got a female sound engineer–no one’s going to be interested in hiring a girl as a sound engineer–that’s just the truth of it…I’m not sure there’s much point in you being here.”. It was at that point my dad sent me to sit in the sound booth, and though I couldn’t hear what was said, I could see through the glass that my Dad was busy tearing this idiot a new one (#godad).
Outright misogyny like that, at least in the present-day events industry, is rare, but that’s not to say misogyny and sexism in our industry is entirely non-existent. People will assume I have no upper body strength and stop me carrying even the lightest of objects, even after I’ve said I’m fine. People will automatically assume I know nothing about technical things. There’s one engineer (who will remain nameless), who no matter how much I try to explain that I do know stuff–will be awash with awe every time I do so much as plug in a microphone or coil a cable properly. One time a supplier, during a meeting to discuss hostile vehicle mitigations (terrorist attack prevention) for an event, started asking me if I had children, if I planned to have them, and how my husband feels about my traveling for work (and no, he didn’t ask this of my male colleague). The whole ‘working woman’ thing honestly seemed to perplex and confuse him. On the other end of the scale, one client (a woman herself) told me that ‘women are better at our job once they’ve had children’ (it’s great to know I’ll always be a bit rubbish unless I decide to pop sprogs). And some people, no matter how many times they’re told that I am the one who wrote the plan, have the plan, and am in charge of the plan, will defer to one of my male co-workers, assuming they are my senior. These are just a few examples of #everydaysexism that happens in our industry.
But you know what… none of the above is anything I’ve not been able to laugh at, or brush off, and mostly because when this kind of thing happens, team WMSH always have my back.
My (male) boss - when seeing people going to him, where they clearly should be going to me or one of my other female colleagues (who are actually running the project in question), doesn’t hesitate to direct them back, is fully aware of why it happens, and is fully dedicated to putting a stop to it. He’ll call someone out for being sexist sometimes before I’ve finished processing that that’s what’s happening and were thinking they were ‘just obnoxious’. My ordering of taxis on the company dime, when I don’t feel comfortable walking alone at night, has never been questioned. I’ve cried in front of co-workers, and have never been branded the ‘hysterical female’.
So my advice to women looking to get into the events industry is still to get on with the job if it’s the job you want to do. Get stuck in, get the job done, don’t worry about being a woman doing it. But equally, don’t worry about being seen as female. The industry has changed, even since I was a teenager. There’s no denying that female sound engineers and crew are still very few and far between (and the reasons for that need to be addressed, alongside the under representation of other marginalised genders), but here I am, planning two of the few outdoor events going ahead this June, alongside two other bad-ass female production managers from other companies, and working within a production company that is 60% female.
Surround yourself with people who’ll join you in laughing at those who might underestimate you because of your gender, and who will be your ally. You don’t have to be a man to work in events, and you’ve nothing to prove to anyone worth proving it to.
Alice Hunt
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