A big, fat, ugly, pathetic ball of stupidity, regret and embarrassment. I honestly donât know why anyone ever has anything to do with me? I donât deserve anything ever! đ· Oh and to top it all off, Iâm also a terrible writerđ€ź My ao3
Iâm so sick of just being in this constant state of worry and sadness đ like yesterday I was gardening and my arm got scratched from pulling grass out and of course because of my health issues Iâm then worrying about getting some horrible flesh eating infection or something even going so far as thinking oh crap itâs my right arm so if I had to get it amputated that would make life really hard. And then today Iâm feeling down thinking about not having any friends to share any of these sort of things with - although to be fair Iâd be too scared and embarrassed to tell anyone even if I did have someone.
Car accident over two years ago - still trying to resolve insurance claim - apparently losing a spleen (along with all the other injuries) and nearly dying is only worth $15000 - fuckin pricks. I canât handle it anymore đđ€Ź
A little snippet from my Ziam Bewitched AU, which Iâm writing for the Ziam Fantasy Fest fic. Thanks :)
****
âHang on. I thought only women could be witches?â
Zayn stopped dead in his tracks upon registering the ridiculousness of the words that had just left his husbands admittedly gorgeous lips.
Turning on his heals, Zayn spun around with a fanciful flourish, before offering Liam what he was sure would have been a withering stare as he fought to contain the immediate chagrin that question always induced in him. âExcuse me?â Zayn asked with as much civility as he could muster in the moment, albeit through gritted teeth.
âWitches. I thought they were only girls. Arenât lads usually referred to as warlocks or something?â
Zayn took a deep, hopefully calming breath as he attempted to quell that all too familiar sense of rising frustrationâa feeling which was beginning to fuel what Zayn suspected was a rather inappropriate urge (especially when directed at oneâs brand new husband!), namely to wiggle his nose and turn said hubby into a toaster! âNo, Leeyum. Men can most definitely be witchesâvery, very powerful witches. And not to alarm you or anything, but you happened to be married to one!â
So itâs Instagram official now hey? đđŹđ€ą
After the Yolanda bâday outing followed by Zaynâs bday dinner the next nightâwhich were both fairly low key by the Hadidâs standards, especially social media wise, and with it being all quiet since then, I think I had somewhat fooled myself into thinking that it was just a couple of pr outings to drum up interest for any upcoming projects and wasnât leading to an official zigi 4.0.
But with the latest sappy, lovey dovey ig story from she who will not be named, it looks like I well and truly played myself and itâs full steam ahead đđĄ
So the question now is do I want to do this for a fourth time? Do any of us Ziams have the energy to go through this absolute bs yet again?
Iâm tired. Very, very tired đ Four years of this crap is a very long time! (I had to double check that itâs actually been that long?? đŹ) Arrrgh!
Hey @gayerthanthat and @sazialovesziam, thanks so much for reblogging the post I made asking for feedback on some writing I wasnât too sure about and for so kindly offering to helpâsorry for taking a while to repond đ. So I thought the easiest thing to do would be to make a post with the snippet and tag you (hope thatâs ok?).
By way of a bit of background, this snippet is from part two of my fic Everybodyâs Got to Learn Sometime (I posted part one ages ago, itâs here if you havenât read it or if youâre interested, but itâs ok either way âșïž). Zayn, a very famous and very jaded pop star and Liam, an up and coming singer, have met up in Zaynâs suite for a rendezvous after meeting for the first time that afternoon at their labelâs Coachella party. This scene starts when things are just starting to get interesting, so to speak, but then something happens to derail it a bit!
My concern with this part of the story is that itâs too wordy and a bit too soppy or overly sentimental? Like it seemed like a good idea at the time but when I started to write it I began to wonder if it was unnecessary for the story and didnât really add anything (or even worse detracted from it?). I feel like I tend to ramble in my writing and just start writing stuff for the sake of it, and Iâm also really bad at editing myself which doesnât help đ€Šđ»ââïž. So yeah, if you wouldnât mind reading this and giving me some feedback in regards to the above concerns; also if it all makes sense and isnât too confusing? or anything really, that would be great :) Thanks and thanks again for responding to my initial postâI really appreciate it đđ» Â
p.s. Iâve put some under the cut because the post was getting a bit long!Â
p.p.s Just to warn you thereâs a little bit of nsfw content (fairly tame, but still đ€·đ»ââïž)
p.p.p.s If anyone else sees this post and wants to offer some feedback that would be great too!
*****
Liam trailed his eyes over Zaynâs hair, before hesitantly bringing a hand up to brush a few stray strands away from his face. âYeah, youâre right. It is wet. And somehow it makes you look even more beautiful than you did when I first met you.â
Zayn swallowed around nothing, suddenly feeling the need to take in a big gulp of air (not unlike the way heâd felt when Liam first turned around at the party). Liam was looking at him like he wanted to devour him and it left Zayn feeling a rare sense of vulnerability, even in the face of his earlier bravado.
âYeah?â Zayn squeaked out, not able to think of an even remotely witty reply.
âYeah,â Liam confirmed, his eyes falling to Zaynâs lips. âFuck, I want to kiss you so bad. Can I?â
âThought youâd never ask,â Zayn purred, hoping to betray an air of confidence in his voice that would belie just how nervous he was feeling in that moment. And as he leant forward it began to feel like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest, a feeling that was only magnified as Liam brought a hand up to slowly trace the sharp of his jaw, before leaning forward himself and grazing his lips ever so gently against Zaynâs.
The kiss definitely didnât disappoint. Liamâs lips were as glorious as Zayn had expected (and hoped)âgorgeously rose pink in colour, soft and pillowy, yet still unmistakably those of a man, firm and self-assured. Zayn suspected no words could truly do them justice, but one thing he did know for sure was that it was shaping up to be one of the best first kisses heâd ever shared with someone.
Liam brought a hand up to cup the back of his neck, his tongue flicking against Zaynâs bottom lip before cocking his head to the side and deepening the kiss. Zayn was more than happy to reciprocate as he parted his lips; Liam not needing a second invitation as he licked into his mouth, surprising in his boldness.
Hey, I saw someone post this idea for a challenge and I thought it looked good :)
So the idea is to post the favourite line that youâve written in the last day, and as usual Iâve decided to cheat a bit and post a few of my favourites from part two of my wip Everybodyâs Got To Learn Sometime.
Thanks đđ» oh and FYI itâs a tiny bit nsfw đ
*****
Encouraged by the apparent upturn in Liamâs mood, Zayn not so subtly climbed into his lap in hopes of getting things moving again. âNot sure if youâve noticed, but weâre both still very much naked and I was just wondering if you were planning on doing anything about that?â
Liam grabbed possessively at Zaynâs waist drawing him in closer as his lips hovered ever so closely to Zaynâs. âOh I noticed. And Iâd love to do something about it. But I guess the next question is, what exactly?â
âWell I can think of a million things Iâd like us to do. But ... if Iâm being completely honest, Iâve kinda been fantasising about what it would be like to fuck you ever since I first laid eyes on all this,â Zayn confided, making a show of skimming his hands lightly over Liamâs chest, much like heâd done when they first met.
âRâreally?â Liam stuttered, clearly not expecting Zayn to be quite so bold despite their current situationâalthough that didnât stop him sliding his hands down and grabbing hungrily at Zaynâs bum.
âYeah. Really, really. But, umm ... that was until I copped an eyeful of this bad boyââ Zayn snaked a hand down between them and wrapped it around Liamâs dick, revelling in the feel of it in his hand and how immediately responsive Liam was to his touch, ââwhich got me thinking maybe Iâd rather you fuck me instead? Think thatâs something youâd could get on board with, Leeyum?â
Hey, I saw someone post this idea for a challenge and I thought it looked good :)
So the idea is to post the favourite line that youâve written in the last day, and as usual Iâve decided to cheat a bit and post a few of my favourites from part two of my wip Everybodyâs Got To Learn Sometime.
Thanks đđ» oh and FYI itâs a tiny bit nsfw đ
******
Encouraged by the apparent upturn in Liamâs mood, Zayn not so subtly climbed into his lap in hopes of getting things moving again. âNot sure if youâve noticed but weâre both still very much naked and I was just wondering if you were planning on doing anything about that?â
Liam grabbed possessively at Zaynâs waist drawing him in closer as his lips hovered ever so closely to Zaynâs. âOh I noticed. And Iâd love to do something about it. But I guess the next question is, what exactly?â
âWell I can think of a million things Iâd like us to do. But ... if Iâm being completely honest, Iâve kinda been fantasising about what it would be like to fuck you ever since I first laid eyes on all this,â Zayn confided, making a show of skimming his hands lightly over Liamâs chest, much like heâd done when they first met.
âRâreally?â Liam stuttered, clearly not expecting Zayn to be quite so bold despite their current situationâalthough that didnât stop him sliding his hands down over Zaynâs bum and hungrily kneading at it.
âYeah. Really, really. But, umm ... that was until I coped an eyeful of this bad boyââ Zayn snaked a hand down between them and wrapped it around Liamâs dick, revelling in the feel of it in his hand and how immediately responsive Liam was to his touch, ââwhich got me thinking maybe Iâd rather you fuck me instead? Think thatâs something youâd could get on board with, Leeyum?â
Hey, I saw someone post this idea for a challenge and I thought it looked good :)
So the idea is to post the favourite line that youâve written in the last day, and as usual Iâve decided to cheat a bit and post a few of my favourites.
Thanks đđ» oh and FYI itâs a tiny bit nsfw đ
Encouraged by the apparent upturn in Liamâs mood, Zayn not so subtly climbed into his lap in hopes of getting things moving again. âNot sure if youâve noticed but weâre both still very much naked and I was just wondering if you were planning on doing anything about that?â
Liam grabbed possessively at Zaynâs waist drawing him in closer as his lips hovered ever so closely to Zaynâs. âOh I noticed. And Iâd love to do something about it. But I guess the next question is, what exactly?â
âWell I can think of a million things Iâd like us to do. But ... if Iâm being completely honest, Iâve kinda been fantasizing about what it would be like to fuck you ever since I first laid eyes on all this,â Zayn confided, making a show of skimming his hands ever so lightly down Liamâs chest, much like heâd done when they first met.
âRâreally?â Liam stuttered, clearly not expecting Zayn to be quite so bold despite their current situationâalthough that didnât stop him sliding his hands down and grabbing hungrily at Zaynâs bum.
âYeah. Really, really. But, umm ... that was until I coped an eyeful of this bad boyââ Zayn snaked a hand down between them and wrapped it around Liamâs dick, revelling in the feel of it in his hand and how immediately responsive Liam was to his touch, ââwhich got me thinking maybe Iâd rather you fuck me instead? Think thatâs something youâd could get on board with, Leeyum?â
Hey @gayerthanthat and @sazialovesziam, thanks so much for reblogging the post I made asking for feedback on some writing I wasnât too sure about and for so kindly offering to helpâsorry for taking a while to repond đ. So I thought the easiest thing to do would be to make a post with the snippet and tag you (hope thatâs ok?).
By way of a bit of background, this snippet is from part two of my fic Everybodyâs Got to Learn Sometime (I posted part one ages ago, itâs here if you havenât read it or if youâre interested, but itâs ok either way âșïž). Zayn, a very famous and very jaded pop star and Liam, an up and coming singer, have met up in Zaynâs suite for a rendezvous after meeting for the first time that afternoon at their labelâs Coachella party. This scene starts when things are just starting to get interesting, so to speak, but then something happens to derail it a bit!
My concern with this part of the story is that itâs too wordy and a bit too soppy or overly sentimental? Like it seemed like a good idea at the time but when I started to write it I began to wonder if it was unnecessary for the story and didnât really add anything (or even worse detracted from it?). I feel like I tend to ramble in my writing and just start writing stuff for the sake of it, and Iâm also really bad at editing myself which doesnât help đ€Šđ»ââïž. So yeah, if you wouldnât mind reading this and giving me some feedback in regards to the above concerns; also if it all makes sense and isnât too confusing? or anything really, that would be great :) Thanks and thanks again for responding to my initial postâI really appreciate it đđ» Â
p.s. Iâve put some under the cut because the post was getting a bit long!Â
p.p.s Just to warn you thereâs a little bit of nsfw content (fairly tame, but still đ€·đ»ââïž)
p.p.p.s If anyone else sees this post and wants to offer some feedback that would be great too!
*****
Liam trailed his eyes over Zaynâs hair, before hesitantly bringing a hand up to brush a few stray strands away from his face. âYeah, youâre right. It is wet. And somehow it makes you look even more beautiful than you did when I first met you.â
Zayn swallowed around nothing, suddenly feeling the need to take in a big gulp of air (not unlike the way heâd felt when Liam first turned around at the party). Liam was looking at him like he wanted to devour him and it left Zayn feeling a rare sense of vulnerability, even in the face of his earlier bravado.
âYeah?â Zayn squeaked out, not able to think of an even remotely witty reply.
âYeah,â Liam confirmed, his eyes falling to Zaynâs lips. âFuck, I want to kiss you so bad. Can I?â
âThought youâd never ask,â Zayn purred, hoping to betray an air of confidence in his voice that would belie just how nervous he was feeling in that moment. And as he leant forward it began to feel like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest, a feeling that was only magnified as Liam brought a hand up to slowly trace the sharp of his jaw, before leaning forward himself and grazing his lips ever so gently against Zaynâs.
The kiss definitely didnât disappoint. Liamâs lips were as glorious as Zayn had expected (and hoped)âgorgeously rose pink in colour, soft and pillowy, yet still unmistakably those of a man, firm and self-assured. Zayn suspected no words could truly do them justice, but one thing he did know for sure was that it was shaping up to be one of the best first kisses heâd ever shared with someone.
Liam brought a hand up to cup the back of his neck, his tongue flicking against Zaynâs bottom lip before cocking his head to the side and deepening the kiss. Zayn was more than happy to reciprocate as he parted his lips; Liam not needing a second invitation as he licked into his mouth, surprising in his boldness.
I know Iâve teased yâall about this before but your wish is finally coming true! I need a break from this nonsense so Iâll be going on an indefinite hiatus from this here blog starting today. Some of you know Iâve been kicking the idea around for a long ass time and with the absolute hideousness weâve witnessed recently and with the circus back in town, it just made sense.Â
Iâll (most likely) be back but not sure when. And for the record, nothing has changed as far as my opinions on anything or anyone. My faves are still my faves in my heart forever and Iâll still continue to support their projects. Iâm just one tired bitch and I hardly have time to devote to this blog anyway. Plus life is too short to spend it being annoyed and frustrated with something that is supposed to be fun and lighthearted. Iâll be around for them, but from a healthy distance. I need to do whatâs right for my mind and heart and this is the one thing I can actually control.
Iâll miss talking to all my lovely mutuals most of all. Itâs you all who helped me chug along with your humor, words of wisdom and supportive messages. Not sure how I got so lucky tbh but Iâm grateful for each and every one of you. I hope you understand why I need to take this break. đ
Hey @gayerthanthat and @sazialovesziam, thanks so much for reblogging the post I made asking for feedback on some writing I wasnât too sure about and for so kindly offering to helpâsorry for taking a while to repond đ. So I thought the easiest thing to do would be to make a post with the snippet and tag you (hope thatâs ok?).
By way of a bit of background, this snippet is from part two of my fic Everybodyâs Got to Learn Sometime (I posted part one ages ago, itâs here if you havenât read it or if youâre interested, but itâs ok either way âșïž). Zayn, a very famous and very jaded pop star and Liam, an up and coming singer, have met up in Zaynâs suite for a rendezvous after meeting for the first time that afternoon at their labelâs Coachella party. This scene starts when things are just starting to get interesting, so to speak, but then something happens to derail it a bit!
My concern with this part of the story is that itâs too wordy and a bit too soppy or overly sentimental? Like it seemed like a good idea at the time but when I started to write it I began to wonder if it was unnecessary for the story and didnât really add anything (or even worse detracted from it?). I feel like I tend to ramble in my writing and just start writing stuff for the sake of it, and Iâm also really bad at editing myself which doesnât help đ€Šđ»ââïž. So yeah, if you wouldnât mind reading this and giving me some feedback in regards to the above concerns; also if it all makes sense and isnât too confusing? or anything really, that would be great :) Thanks and thanks again for responding to my initial postâI really appreciate it đđ» Â
p.s. Iâve put some under the cut because the post was getting a bit long!Â
p.p.s Just to warn you thereâs a little bit of nsfw content (fairly tame, but still đ€·đ»ââïž)
p.p.p.s If anyone else sees this post and wants to offer some feedback that would be great too!
*****
Liam trailed his eyes over Zaynâs hair, before hesitantly bringing a hand up to brush a few stray strands away from his face. âYeah, youâre right. It is wet. And somehow it makes you look even more beautiful than you did when I first met you.â
Zayn swallowed around nothing, suddenly feeling the need to take in a big gulp of air (not unlike the way heâd felt when Liam first turned around at the party). Liam was looking at him like he wanted to devour him and it left Zayn feeling a rare sense of vulnerability, even in the face of his earlier bravado.
âYeah?â Zayn squeaked out, not able to think of an even remotely witty reply.
âYeah,â Liam confirmed, his eyes falling to Zaynâs lips. âFuck, I want to kiss you so bad. Can I?â
âThought youâd never ask,â Zayn purred, hoping to betray an air of confidence in his voice that would belie just how nervous he was feeling in that moment. And as he leant forward it began to feel like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest, a feeling that was only magnified as Liam brought a hand up to slowly trace the sharp of his jaw, before leaning forward himself and grazing his lips ever so gently against Zaynâs.
The kiss definitely didnât disappoint. Liamâs lips were as glorious as Zayn had expected (and hoped)âgorgeously rose pink in colour, soft and pillowy, yet still unmistakably those of a man, firm and self-assured. Zayn suspected no words could truly do them justice, but one thing he did know for sure was that it was shaping up to be one of the best first kisses heâd ever shared with someone.
Liam brought a hand up to cup the back of his neck, his tongue flicking against Zaynâs bottom lip before cocking his head to the side and deepening the kiss. Zayn was more than happy to reciprocate as he parted his lips; Liam not needing a second invitation as he licked into his mouth, surprising in his boldness.
To say Zayn was turned on by the kiss would have been an outrageous understatement. He started to get hard almost immediately, his dick twitching as Liam wrapped one of his strong arms around his waist and drew him closer, Zayn reciprocating by bringing both arms up to wrap around Liamâs neck, in an act which would seem far too possessive for the moment.
And maybe it was in part Zaynâs egotistical desire to somehow avoid exposing his increasingly obvious arousal to Liam, or just a nagging (and unexpected) chivalrous voice at the back of his mind telling him that this lad deserved a say in where tonight would ultimately lead, but before he was even fully cognisant of what he was doing, Zayn found himself stuttering between Liamâs insistent kisses, âWait ... wait a sec, babe.â
Liam reacted almost immediately to Zaynâs plea, making him think that just like Zayn, he wasnât prepared for things to get quite so heated, quite so quickly, the intensity of their kisses gradually subsiding, allowing Zayn to pull away far enough to look into Liamâs soulful eyes.
Resting his forehead gently against Liamâs, Zayn took a calming breath before breaking into a what was probably an overly cheesy grin. âHey.â
âHey.â
âThat was unexpected,â Zayn confessed, pulling back a little more as he removed his arms from around Liamâs shoulders and placed them rather awkwardly on his own thighs instead.
Liam offered a small smile as he released his hold around Zaynâs waist, giving his hand a quick squeeze before he shuffled back a little on the lounge. Bringing a hand up to brush lightly against Zaynâs cheek, he countered, âReally? Thought that was kinda the point of me coming here tonight?â
âYeah,â Zayn agreed, subconsciously leaning into Liamâs hand. âBut as first kisses goâat least for me anywayâthat was a little more intense than Iâm used to. Iâm not complaining, just thinking, and I canât quite believe Iâm saying this, maybe we should take things a little slower?â
âOh, sorry. Ummââ Liam abruptly let his hand drop away, a pained expression overtaking his face as he stood up and started looking around like he was desperately searching for the next available exit, ââI ... should I go? Do you want me to go? I should go, shouldnât I? Sorry, I came on way too strongâI ... I donât know what got into to me. Itâs just that you were sitting there in a bathrobe with all your amazing tattoos and your hair was wet and you just looked so fucking amazing and Iâve been thinking about what it would be like to kiss you since this afternoon, or well probably a lot longer to be honest ... and yeah. Sorry.â
Zayn looked up at Liam feeling completely dumbfounded. He had no idea what had just happened; why him simply suggesting that they cool things down would prompt such a seemingly disproportionate reaction from Liam? But that was until he really looked at Liamâat how truly flustered he appeared, as he bit at his bottom lip and furiously pulled at a loose thread on the bottom of his shirtâbecause once he did, it all suddenly started to make perfect sense.
The reaction from Liam likely wasnât disproportionate at allâwell at least not from his perspective âbecause chances are heâd probably built up this evening so much in his mind and put so much pressure on himself to measure up to what he thought was expected of someone joining the pantheon of Zayn Malikâs infamous conquests, that as soon as there was even the merest hint of rejection from Zayn, he had taken it as a sign that he had blown the whole evening.
Shit. Was the idea of spending the night with Zayn Malik really that intimidating? Or worse still, anxiety inducing? Was his (unwanted and mostly undeserved) reputation as a Lothario really that notorious?
As Zayn was busy debating all these points in his mind, he could feel the nervous energy rolling off Liam in waves, making him realise that if he was any hope of saving this evening from certain disaster he needed to do something and quickly, prompting him to stand up and carefully approached Liam as if he was a startled deer.
âLiam, itâs ok. Really,â Zayn started, bringing a hand up to rub up and down his arm. âYou donât have to goâIÂ donât want you to go. Iâm sorry if me asking to put the brake on things made it seem like Iâd changed me mind or summat and wasnât interested in taking things further anymoreâit was actually pretty much the exact opposite, to be honest.â
âWhat?â Liam asked, all wide eyed and looking just as confused as Zayn had felt only moments earlier.
âWell, I Iâm not sure if you noticed, but I was kinda getting massively turned on just from us kissing andââ
âOh, I noticed,â Liam interjected, a sly (and maybe proud?) little grin forming on his lips. âIt wasnât hard to miss, babe.â
âWell, as I was saying, it didnât take a rocket scientist to see where things were heading and as much as I was enjoying what was happening between us, I recalledâin a very brief moment of clarity, Iâve gotta sayâthat youâd given off the vibe of being the kind of guy that likes to get to know someone before you take things further? And despite my notorious (and mostly unearned, Zayn thought bitterly) reputation as some sort of fuck boy, Iâm actually that kind of guy most of the time too.â
âOk,â Liam replied hesitantly, as if he was trying to process and make sense of what Zayn had just said. âYou think I give of a vibe?â
âYeah. But itâs not meant as a criticism or anything. Just an observation. And please, if Iâm wrong, tell me. Iâm frequently wrong about a lot of things, trust me.â
âNo,â Liam started, the word drawn out as his eyes searched Zaynâs as if he was looking for some reassurance that it was safe to be completely honest in his answer. âYouâre not wrong. Part of me wishes you were, but youâre not. Iâve never really been big on random fucks, Iâm afraid. Sorry. Thought Iâd done a better job of hiding that this afternoonâof playing it cool. Obviously not.â
As Zayn looked at the defeated expression on Liamâs face he started to wonder if heâd let his oversized ego get the better of him earlier, and that Liamâs apparent overreaction to Zayn slowing things down had more to do with his own values (and perhaps some less than ideal sexual experiences with other people), than thinking he wasnât good enough to be with Zayn?
Either way, Liam was clearly a little rattled by the whole situation and it made Zayn determined to think of a way to ease his concerns and at the same time, hopefully get things back on track for the both of them.
âHey,â Zayn started as a possible solution to their dilemma started to crystallise in his mind, âif it would help, I think I might know of a kind of fast tracked way to help break the ice, so to speak?â
âLike a sexual way?â
âNo. No, weâd remain full clothed the whole time, I promise,â Zayn assured, holding a hand to his heart.
âOk. Go on.â
âWell I saw this onceâI think it was in one of those daft rom-coms that Hollywood never seem to be able to get quite rightâthe two leads had just met on a blind date, but were finding things a bit awkward and stuff, so they decided to ask each other all these random questions.â
âLike a game of twenty questions or something?â
âYeah, pretty much. So what you think? Couldnât hurt, could it?â
âSâpose not.â
âOk. Great. Iâll start shall I?â Zayn began, subtly turning his body and moving himself closer to Liam again. âLetâs go for sâthing easyâwhere are you from?â
Iâm just going to choose to ignore it for now and hope itâs not leading to anything too full on đ€đ»but, as Iâve seen others say, itâs really crappy timing (but I guess thatâs the pointâwanting maximum impact pr wise đ€Ź)
Iâm pretty sure Iâve said it before and have definitely thought it many times, but it really seems like the only way to have a stress free, enjoyable and uplifting experience in the 1D fandom is too follow Niall and only Niall (sorry Liam and Zayn, but itâs so hard when being your fan means having to put up with a plus one constantly shoved in your face).
Anyway, back to watching the tennis and forgetting about all this crap (and hoping Zayn can have a quiet pap free/bs free day on his actual bâday!)
Like I just checked my word count and Iâm already up to over 7000 words and Zayn and Liam have only just taken their clothes off!
Why am I like this? Why does everything have to be so involved? Why do I always have so much dialogue? Why is writing smut so nerve wracking? Arrrrrghhhh!!
Although I shouldnât really be that surprised by all this, given that the only other smut Iâve ever written (part two of my abandoned wip, Murder on the Dance Floor, âThis feels a little like loveâ) ended up at nearly 6000 words (and that was only a blow job!).
