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The spinning vortex of Saturn’s north polar storm resembles a deep red rose of giant proportions surrounded by green foliage in this false-color image from NASA’s Cassini spacecraft. Measurements have sized the eye at a staggering 1,250 miles (2,000 kilometers) across with cloud speeds as fast as 330 miles per hour (150 meters per second).

Space is absolutely incredible.

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(from Star Challenge #4: The Exploding Suns, 1984)

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Warning from South African police

This warning issued by the South African Police Department (SAPD) is quite chilling. And I'm not talking about the vexing combination of all caps and exclamation marks in the final plee of the second paragraph. Or the stilted language that includes all genders and age groups but excludes anyone not on their way to school or work. But, I digress.

Firstly, the crying child scenario is a sick reminder that criminals will use any means necessary to catch their prey. This is a variation on the broken-down car scheme to be sure, but using a little kid as a lure is a new low. Having said that, most South Africans have a heightened sense of security and I would hope most wouldn't fall for this.

Secondly, the free key holders that house a secret GPS tracker seems so bizarre that it must be true. Although, I imagine drivers of flashy cars may wonder why they received a free gift while the guy in the jalopy next to them missed out. In any case, this high-tech con is a worrying example of how technology can be used for evil. 

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For all you kids out there who are into grammar - rap version of Strunk and White's Elements of Style.

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A free ride to US content? Sorry, no.

The world wants a piece of America. Not the real America mind you, with its ugly highways, guns, and inequalities, but fantasy America. US entertainment is a highly desirable commodity that is denied even to international netizens. Access to services like Netflix, Hulu, Pandora, and Spotify is stymied by an invisible Copyright wall where the wrong IP Address leaves you out in the cold.

Fortunately, there are ways to tunnel through that wall and get a piece of that US action. Two common methods are through a proxy or through a VPN. A proxy (such as hidemyass) allows you to piggyback on a US server so that your connection requests are made using an IP address originating in the US. A VPN (such as proXPN) encrypts your data by emulating a LAN network over the internet.

Fortunately, there are many free proxies out there (VPNs not so much, although proXPN is free). Unfortunately, these free editions have severe bandwidth restrictions. This limitation means that your dreams of streaming all that juicy US Netflix content can die right now. Unless you're willing to pay for unlimited bandwidth. As in real life, there is no free ride to America, but money can buy you anything. 

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How to write well

One thing writers like to do is teach others how to write well. There are several such instructive books that I highly recommend: Stephen King's On Writing, Anne Lamott's Bird by Bird, and William Zinsser's classic On Writing Well.

Kurt Vonnegut, whose book I reviewed recently, also has some sound advice in this short piece. Here is a summary:

1. Find a subject you care about

2. Do not ramble, though

3. Keep it simple

4. Have guts to cut

5. Sound like yourself

6. Say what you mean

7. Pity the readers

It's worth reading the whole piece, but a little soul-searching wouldn't hurt either. Before you can write fluently, you have to peer past your ego and really know who you are. This personal insight is crucial because some people assume they are good writers, when they are not. And sometimes, even good writers write badly (which is why good writers would kill for an editor they can trust).

One thing I've noticed about myself is that my day job as a technical writer has both helped and harmed my writing style. Being able to strip out any trace of a personal voice and simplifying complex subject matter makes for crisp technical writing, but is rather dull creatively. I try to balance this shortcoming by writing poetry and creative fiction as well. Conversely, I suspect some esoteric poets out there would benefit from writing a set of clear instructions.

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The wolf parable

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. "A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego."

He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

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Find your niche... in the washroom

The New York Times recently reported that 91 percent of Americans aged 28-35 have used their mobile devices while on the toilet. Disturbingly, 20 percent of men and 13 percent of women have participated in a conference call from the john. Never before has the MUTE key played such an indispensable role.

Yet, while these statistics may leave you shaking your head in disgust (or not, if you're sitting on the throne while you read this), some companies are taking the initiative. Statistics can sometimes help you find a niche market, as the start-up HzO is no doubt counting on. They're developing a nanotechnology coating that will waterproof your phone. They were a big hit at CES, and are sure to make a splash in the industry this year.

I just wish they would be more honest in their marketing material. They talk about accidentally jumping in a pool with your phone in your pocket, or having an outdoor conversation during a torrential rain storm. The likelihood of these events happening are actually very minuscule. Why not just come out and say it - we are there to help when your phone goes plop. Full stop.

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What kind of phone do you have?

I was reading an interview with Limor Fried, the alpha-geek who founded the DIY electronics company Adafruit Industries, when I was struck by one of her answers: 

          What kind of phone do you have?           I do not own a cell phone; however, I have designed           a cell-phone jammer.

Limor's response was intriguing to me because of its dichotomy between technological know-how and an anti-technology stance. Here is an ubergeek who could reverse engineer a cellphone, yet who claims not to own one.

Yet, if you think about it, why is there this lust in our consumer culture for phones? Granted, it makes life easier for a lot of people, but there's more to it.

Some people feel a sense of shame if they don't own a cellphone. Or even more telling, a twinge of embarrassment if they own a cellphone, but not a smartphone. Look at the poor kid who digs out a quarter and makes a furtive call on the payphone in the mall. The mom who cries inside because the other yummy mummies are tracking their kids' progress on their iPhone apps while she scrawls in a scruffy notebook. And God help you if you're a phoneless geek.

Perhaps it is not Limor's answer which is unsettling, but the question itself. What kind of society have we become when the question that measures geek cred is "What kind of phone do you have?"

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Amazing - two Ontario teenagers spent $400 to get a Lego Man into space with a weather balloon. This is an awesome achievement for these kids - way to go!

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Rise of the book thieves

I love Apple. Especially Apple hardware. And I'm glad they're doing so well. But one area where they really messed up is in e-book pricing.

Steve Jobs wasn't an avid reader. According to Isaacson's biography, he just read the same Zen Buddhist book over and over. That kind of explains what happened. You may have heard the sordid tale, or read about it in the biography:

Amazon was first in the e-book market and established a wholesale model where no e-book sold for more than $9.99 (Perfect. I remember those halcyon days). Then Apple came along and realized they couldn't compete using the wholesale model (which they had successfully used for music with their 99c tracks). So they told the book publishers they could set their own price. All the publishers had to do was give Apple 30 percent.

Oh, and one more thing. If they sold a book through Apple, they couldn't sell the same book for less money on Amazon.

So, the publishers went to Amazon and demanded the same deal, or they would pull all their e-books out. Amazon had no choice.

And that brings us to today, where you either pay $28 for an e-book, or buy the same book - except a real, physical book - at a bookstore for $9.99. Obviously the physical version costs far more to produce and distribute, which is why consumers are ticked off.

The resulting anti-trust lawsuits are going to stretch on for years. In the meantime, armed with Calibre and BitTorrent, ordinary book worms are discovering the enticing world of piracy. Text files are really small and quick to download, unlike those 7-gigabyte HD movies that take all week. You can literally download thousands of stolen books onto your kindle in one shot - more than enough reading material for several lifetimes. Sure, it's almost impossible right now to find that obscure title you're looking for - but with enough momentum, that's going to change.

Unless the major players get their act together and start looking at the situation from a consumer's point of view, rather than an accountant's one, publishers are quickly going to be mired in the same rampant piracy that almost decimated the music industry.

No serious reader wants to steal from the authors they love. But they don't like being ripped off either. Let's fix this before it's too late.

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Star Wars fan? Have a couple of hours to spare? Here's an epic fan-made movie for you. Star Wars fans were each given 15 seconds of Star Wars IV: A New Hope. Contributors put their allotted scene together however they wanted without seeing each others. Then all the scenes were stitched together into the final product - a bizarre rendition of the entire Star Wars movie. Just like the classic drawing game Heads, Bodies, and Tails, hilarity ensues.

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Review of Breakfast of Champions

I picked up this short book as a Kindle Daily Deal for a buck, so thought I'd give it a read.

Breakfast of Champions features Vonnegut's alter-ego Kilgore Trout as he journeys to an arts festival. He is destined to meet a disillusioned car salesman. At the fateful meeting, Kilgore triggers a psychotic episode in which the salesman thinks everybody in the world is a robot, except for him.

This simple plot is a vehicle for Vonnegut's typically biting satire, and for those who haven't read Vonnegut yet, is an excellent primer for a trip into his twisted mind. Peppered with childish drawings, Vonnegut tries his best to make the reader uncomfortable while stoking the absurd with his wry humour.

My only criticism is that this novel is not nearly as fleshed out as the excellent Cat's Cradle and Slaughterhouse Five. Overall, I preferred the experience of diving deeper into Vonnegut's world in these two novels. This short read, however, is a tantalizing treat that leaves you wanting more.

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The shame of being a jock

Anyone who grew up in the 80s will remember Revenge of the Nerds. The movie made ruthless fun of nerds, while offering them an olive branch in the form of Hollywood catharsis. My, how times have changed.

Now, social awkwardness is endearing. Comic-book movies are cool. Gadgets, gaming, and tech are in. Kids want to be programmers and engineers. Their parents want them to do well in math and science - in short, they want their kids to be nerds.

What happened to the jocks? Are they out there somewhere, hosting secret Superbowl parties, covertly snapping towels at each other, and anxiously awaiting the release of Revenge of the Jocks? One thing's for sure - they're not holding their heads high anymore. The nerds won. And I for one welcome our new overlords (had to say it).

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A beautiful creation by Knitta Please - I love the guerrilla knitting movement.