A Place For Words

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 32

I’m afraid

That

I’ll always

Be alone

Sometimes I can find hope in the darkness that presses into me like a cloud of dust that tries to choke me until I find the strength to breathe past it and find the air that’s always been there

And I see that I’m not alone

.

.

.

But I still feel it

Pressing into me and the clear air is gone and I am suffocating falling under the weight of everything that wants to keep me from feeling alive and wanted

I don’t feel

Wanted

I feel

Alone

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 31

;misunderstood;rigidly defined;

;disparaged;i feel much like;a semicolon;

asexual;semicolon

biromantic;semicolon

;ignored;loved by few;hated by most;

;i think i’m okay;being a semicolon;

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 30

Heartache is

a rock

and

a hole

in your chest simultaneously

Your heart

seizing

The hole

widening

While nothing dulls

the pain

the ache

The inescapable longing

for something

or someone

To fix you

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 29

Being forgotten sucks.

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 28

A sentence

Made

Of

Fr

Ag

Me

Nts

Like

Shattering

St

St

Stuttering

S

.L

...I

....P

.....P

.......I

........N

...........G

Away

Leaving

Confusion in its wake

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 27

I hate saying goodbye

I hate leaving anything behind

I hate when I have to go

I hate the crying

And the heartache

I hate the change

I hate the difference

I wish there was a way for me to leave

and stay at the same time

Because, most of all

I hate that you hate to see me go

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 26

You think you’re so fucking clever

So fucking perfect

And organized

And on top of shit

But I have to be there behind the scenes

Making sure every piece is in its place

Because you can’t be bothered to actually do your fucking job

But that’s okay

Because at the end of the day

I’ll get all the credit

Because you deserve none of it

You claim to be responsible

Claim to be in charge

Claim to have it all planned out

But you don’t

And everyone can see it

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 25

Seething hatred

Rage ever blinding

You act as if you’re the only one who matters

Snapping in my face

The self-satisfying ploys

You act as if your feelings are the only one that are real

Playing the victim

Over dramatic wailing

You act as if you are the center of the world

How dare you

How dare you.

You think you’re the only one that matters?

How quaint

Go fuck yourself

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 24

Nyctophobia

A deep seated

Chest heaving

Terror

Of the shadows caressing the walls

Darkness

Creeping into view

The tendrils of light

Suffocated

By the slowly encroaching void

Endless

Unrelenting

Unknowable

Swallowing you whole

Engulfing your soul

Until only the night remains

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 23

I’d rather have you here

Than a memory of who you were

I’d rather have seen you fade into obscurity

Having made your peace with the world

Living your days out to the end

Instead of losing you to a cataclysm

Something out of your control, yes

But you didn’t have to face it alone

You left us here, alone

To live our days without you

Just a slow fading memory

That will one day become so warped

So distorted

That it will be like you never existed at all

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 22

As the world

Outside

Continues on

I wait alone

Inside

Praying for it

To cease

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 21

Forgetting

To be lonely

Forgetting

To care

Forgetting

To love yourself

And leaving

Everything behind

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 20

Sometimes

The best thing

Is the

Worst

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 19

Closed off

Lonely

Left behind

Waiting

Lost

Not yet found

Perhaps I’ll never be

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 18

I’m

Over stimulated

Overwhelmed

Over everything

Yet

There are no emotions

That I can decipher

Just

Skin crawling

Eyes heavy

Brain buzzing

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 17

You know, I had the option to make ANYTHING immortal. But it could only be one thing. So I hmmed and hawed over this decision. Should I save this privilege? Like what if I met someone, you know?

But I realized that I didn’t want to really bring another person into immortality. Because I’ll be here until the universe dies. And people grow apart. It’s just natural. I don’t think I could stand an eternity with just one person. So I didn’t choose for a really long time.

I don’t get sick, as an immortal. For some reason I don’t get injured either. So I couldn’t even die if I wanted to. Got the short end of the deal if you ask me, but that’s a story for another time.

I don’t remember how long it took, to be honest. I eventually found the one I would be happy to spend an eternity with. He was there in the animal shelter I was volunteering for. His sad eyes followed me as I moved about, doing my duties.

It was weeks before I realized that I needed him more than he needed me. I went for my volunteer shift one day and he wasn’t there. I panicked. I didn’t know what to do. I asked one of the regular staff what had happened and she told me he had to be taken in for emergency surgery. They had found a malignant tumor during a regular check up, but they caught it early and thought there was still a chance to save him. She said he was in recovery.

I asked to see him.

I don’t know why they let me in, but they did. He was still dozing from the anesthesia, but when I came up to his kennel and whispered his name his ears perked up, just a little. I knew then. I knew I wouldn’t have to be alone.

It didn’t matter if the surgery had actually worked, because, just like me, he could never be sick, ever again.

[words-like-waterfalls]

No. 16

New friends

New excitement

Something to look forward to

Something to want more of

It becomes a crutch

It’s a never ending cycle

They’ll be there for a while

A few days

Weeks

Months, maybe

But they won’t be there

When you need them most

So you keep to yourself

So that when the do leave

You only lose a friend

And not a piece of your heart

But it never works

It never works

Because you love with your entire heart

You love with everything

Yet reveal nothing

You treasure them

But they know nothing about you

While you know everything about them

A cycle

Doomed to fail

Doomed to leave you hurt

And begging for a reason

But you know why

Because it’s the same story

With new people

New excitement

New friends