I wrote a follow-up toĀ āwhat were the words I meant to say before you leftā as a very thrown together birthday present for Tony Stark, because he deserves a reunion with his boy.
āIāve had this dream before.ā
Peter jolts awake, squinting at the dully lit room around him, lifting a hand to rub his aching neck before he realizes who spoke.
The hospital room is silent for a heartbeat as Peter stares at Tony, who stares right back.
āMr. Stark,ā Peter breathes.
Tony gives a tremulous little smile.
āIām not usually in a hospital bed, though,ā Tony says, his voice weak.
āIn my dream. The one where youāre alive.ā
Peter sucks in a breath and leans forward in his chair, dropping his feet to the floor.
āThe MIT sweatshirt is a nice touch,ā Tony interrupts. āLook at you.ā Thereās something aching and proud in Tonyās voice that makes Peter freeze and look at Tony, past the burns and gray hair. Tonyās eyes are soft as he watches Peter, his bottom lip trembling ever so slightly.
āMr. Stark,ā Peter whispers. Tony just smiles at him, awestruck and heartbroken.
āItās so real. Every time.ā Tony reaches his good hand out, beckoning. Peter obeys, moving to sit on the edge of the hospital bed. Tonyās hand immediately touches his face, tracing his chin with shaking fingers.
āI can always touch you,ā he murmurs. āSmell your shampoo.ā He combs his fingers through Peterās hair, tucks a strand behind his ear.
Thereās a lull as Tony cups Peterās cheek and strokes underneath his eye. He seems to be savoring the warmth of Peterās skin. Peter pushes against his hand a little, leaning into him, and that smile comes back, the one that looks like Peterās ripping Tonyās heart out of his chest with his bare hands and Tony couldnāt love him more.
āAnd then I wake up.ā Tonyās voice breaks.
āTony, this isnāt a dream,ā Peter says frantically. āYou saved me. Iām here.ā
Tony shifts his hand to the back of Peterās head and pulls him toward his chest.
āYeah,ā he sighs. āYouāve said that before, too. But I always wake up and youāre always gone. I can still feel it, though, when I wake up.ā
āFeel what?ā Peter asks, pressing his forehead against Tonyās collarbone.
āWhat it feels like to hold you. For just a few minutes itās like I can still feel your warmth.ā
āIām sorry.ā Tears burn in Peterās eyes for what heās done to Tony by dying.
āItās worth it,ā Tony says, shaking his head. āTo see you again.ā
Tony fades for a long moment, his breathing slowing down.
āLooks like Iām waking up, Pete.ā Peter knows that heās actually falling asleep, but he doesnāt interrupt because Tony takes another breath and opens his mouth.
āI love you, kiddo,ā Tony murmurs as his eyes fall closed.
Peter hiccups an almost hysterical laugh.
āLove you,ā he babbles. Tonyās fingers tangle in his hair before going loose and warm. āI love you.ā
When Tony wakes up, he can feel Peterās warmth. The weight of him against his chest.
Heart shattering as it does every time he dreams of Peter and wakes to nothing but the memory of him, Tony takes a deep breath. He holds onto it for another long minute, not quite ready to face reality. He can almost feel him breathing.
But Tony knows he canāt live a lie. Heād tried, for a while, and it nearly destroyed him. He opens his eyes.
Peter Parker is asleep next to him, wearing his MIT sweatshirt and drooling onto his shoulder.
After the shock settles, after Tony realizes he isnāt hallucinating, he shakes Peter awake.
āMr. Stark,ā Peter gasps as his eyes snap open.
āDo not ever,ā Tony says firmly, cupping Peterās jaw in his hand, āmake me live in a world without you again.ā Ā