Words cry

To all midnight cries, unsend letters, incomplete poetries

[wordscry]

You

I don't know much about you, and still, know so much about you. 

I don't know you or maybe I do.

You could be a complete stranger or maybe I see you every day, not realizing you are the one I am waiting for.

Maybe you are so happy with yourself and not looking for someone special because you see, we will find each other when you least expect to.

Or maybe you are in someone else's arms who is not meant to be or you just lost love and wondering if you will ever find it again, not knowing you will have me one day. 

I will not gather pieces of your heart together and try to fix it permanently, I won't. I'll see scars that your heart embraces and show you mine because I think they do look the same, but yet so different. 

Just like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle which do look similar and yet different at the same time because they are meant to be joined together and look perfect. 

This is how our hearts will look -"perfect"

I know they will just fit rightly because some part of your heart is missing, taken by someone you met before me and it's fine because even mine is not complete 

Maybe you are somewhere looking for me like I am for you.

But I want you to make me wait even if it's years from now I know waiting for you will be worth it because after all, it's you.

It's okay if we don't find each other right now because they say-

Things which come early tend to leave early too and I don't want you to leave.... ever.

You are someone I want to have forever.

[wordscry]

Ugly

To all the people out there,

Keep Your Fucking Mouth Shut!

The kiddie you call burned bread for she is brown hates herself more and more every time she looks at the mirror not because she is brown but because you made her believe that brown is ugly.

The woman you call lard for she has thick skin hates herself more and more every time she looks at the mirror not because she is fat but because you made her believe that fat is ugly.

The lady you call unattractive for she is skinny hates herself more and more every time she looks at the mirror not because she is skinny but because you made her believe that skinny is ugly.

The girl you call unpleasant for she has scars on her face hates herself more and more every time she looks at the mirror not because she got the scars but because you made her believe that scars are ugly.

But once just once think what if that kiddie, that woman, that lady, that girl is your best friend, your sister, your daughter or you. That will be the moment the only thing you will think about will be those five words I started my letter with

Keep Your Fucking Mouth Shut!

[wordscry]

Someone

Someone I hug and comfort me the same way a pillow at my 3 am breakdown does. Someone I talk to and feel the same I feel after writing it. Someone's shoulder I rest on and support me the same when I rest my head on guitar. Someone who consoles me the same music playing on my earphones does. Someone who makes me happy the same, brushes and paints do. Someone who understands me the way midnight Moon does. Someone who is always there the same way I am for myself.....

[wordscry]

Moving On

I didn't move on but now, I exist without him too. I love to see him but days, when I don't, don't make me feel down anymore. I love to hear him but when his voice fails to reach my ears, it doesn't make my day incomplete anymore. I love to stay close to him but when I am miles away, it doesn't make me go crazy to meet him anymore. I love his hugs but now when I'm not in his arms, it doesn't make me feel unsafe anymore. I love the touch of his lips but now when we don't share kisses, it doesn't make me crave for them anymore. I love it when he read my stories, poems, and quotes but now when he doesn't ask about them, it doesn't make me show off to him anymore. I love it when he holds my hands but now when he leaves, it doesn't make me say stay to him anymore. I love him but now when he doesn't feel the same, it doesn't break me down anymore. I didn't move on but now, I exist without him too.

[wordscry]

Letter I will never send

What if one day I come to know that you moved on and I am still on you. All the memories that we are making today will come before my eyes one by one making me remember the times you asked me and I refused. I will hate myself by realizing that, how easily I let u go. I will wish that I can go back and just once say uh- stay. I will regret every single thing right from meeting you to falling for you, making you mine even after everything was fine when we were best friends, making you my priority, and keeping you before everyone else. But I will hate myself more after realizing that I didn't keep uh before my own decisions when I should have. I don't know this will ever happen or not or we will always be as we are. Whatever happens in the future ahead of us, all the love songs that play on my earphones will always be about you, all the love stories and quotes that I read will remind me of you and I will still love uh the way I do and always did.

[wordscry]

Not to feel anything is perhaps the strongest emotion

[wordscry]

Love finds its way

Love finds its way, they say. And that's how my heart discovered my destination. A place not far away but was difficult to reach. I crossed mountains and oceans just to be here. It was not a desire, not to travel but to reach here. On my way, I found many travelers with the same dream. Some passed, others failed. But when I reached everyone else left... that's when I realized that this place loved me the same way I did. Love finds its way, they say. And that's how I discovered my destination, 'You'. In my most beautiful journey- I lost my way, reached the wrong place, hurt and healed but kept walking towards you, my love. And now I want to reside here forever and ever. Love finds its way, they say. Nd that's how your heart discovered your destination, 'Me'.

[wordscry]

Beautiful

No curves, flat butts with skinny structure never made me look attractive. But when your hands slid around my waist, you made my body feel beautiful.

Singing seemed more like screaming, my voice is not meant for songs. But when you sat quietly lending an ear to all my talks, you made my sound feel beautiful.

Tanned skin with no make-up and acne scars all over, never made me look gorgeous. But when you kissed my hand, cheeks, neck, forehead, and your lip perfectly locked with mine, you made my skin feel beautiful.

My sentences and their vocabulary never made sense.  But when all my poetries were about you, you made my words feel beautiful.

Endless things to say, lame jokes, not so mature, with mood swings every now and then never made anyone fall for me. But when you accepted me as I m, you made me feel beautiful.

[wordscry]

Dear Him,

You asked me the reason to leave you so many times, but you never asked me the reason for coming back to you..... I know I will never send this letter to you, but currently, when I have so much to say I don't find anyone to listen when I look around, no one to call when I see my contacts, no one to text when I look at my chat list and this made me realize that I fell so much for you that I am nothing without u and I never was, I realized whoever I was and whatever I had was you. Now when I look back I find that I only talked to u or about u. My friends used to say that I am too talkative but now I am not. Today when we are not "us" anymore I don,t have anything to say neither to my friends nor to my best friend, neither to you and nor to myself. Today I neither find anything to be happy about nor to be sad about, it was just you. I was sad when you were sad or we had a fight and I was happy when you were happy or we had spent some romantic time. I don't remember the last time I was waiting for someone's text other than yours, the last time I was so excited to meet someone other than u, the last time I said sorry to someone other than u. This was love but everything has a limit but my love for you never had one. ....and this made me realize that letting you go is really very difficult but it was necessary not for us but for me. P.S: I will always love uh!

[wordscry]

Dear Mom,

I am sorry for I lied to you so many times, for I broke your trust so many times, for I have done things you are against of, for I expected so much from you but could never reach your expectations, for unintentionally or intentionally shouting at you, for not being a daughter you deserve and for loving myself, my guitar, him, books, phone, friends more than you. And you never forgave me instead you made me feel guilty by always loving me, by never doing anything for yourself but just for the family, by serving hot food to everyone but you eating morning leftovers in dinner, by not sleeping when I fell ill but you doing all the work like every day when you were not well, by not telling papa what I did when you were so hurt inside, by never showing your grief behind that beautiful smile, by listening to their nonsense quietly, by feeling so proud to have daughters when the world had so much to say, by learning to cook all food I like, by eating the dish which went wrong during your first trial when everyone refused to eat it, by doing so much for everyone else and compromising for yourself, by going through worst phases of life and still being strong. I will hate myself and will love you more and more every time I will read this.

[wordscry]

Dear Me,

I am sorry I promised everyone to be with them forever and never told you the same. I am sorry because I promised you that I will keep you first before anything or anyone but I never did. I am sorry I left you when you needed me the most but expected this from them. I am sorry for being too busy with them that I never had time to converse with you. I am sorry to have written so much about everyone around me but never wrote about you- who is inside me. I am sorry for thanking them for all my success and blaming you for all my failures. But here is so much I want you to always remember:                                                        Everyone has their own life and that means you too. They didn’t ask for your permission and forgiveness before making their decisions though you were a part of it. So, why are you? Stop making yourself guilty and them innocent for everything you do.  I am not asking you to blame them even for your mistakes but like all the past years of your life you forgave them so many times, this time forgave yourself just once. Stop asking for their attention and support every time. Stop having so much fear of losing them. Stop overthinking every small thing you say or you do.  Start trusting yourself the way you trusted them. Start understanding yourself before you try to understand them. Start keeping yourself so busy in improving you that their ignorance doesn’t affect you as it does. Make yourself so strong that you will never have those breakdowns you always do. You are not your worst version but I know you will be the best one.    

[wordscry]

Mine

Thanks for being my moon on days which were my darkest nights, for holding my hand during every phase like flora and its roots.

When most beautiful things seem to be dreary, your hug breaks all my grief like a flowing river breaking the stones into fine pieces and taking them far away.

There are times when no one gets me, only u who understand me like a mother of a speechless baby.

Treasure down the earth Pearls down in the deep-nothing is more precious than u to me.

You are my greatest lover, like a musician with his affection for melody.

Life without u will be like a night without stars, it will still exist but with no meaning, no happiness within it.

This is not from your short-term secret admirer but your forever constant best-friend.......