maybe he has little room for anger , though it that hadn’t meant he wouldn’t feel it. nathan had been correct : the scene that unfolded at the hotel had been enough proof of that. but it wasn’t entirely true. no , samuel had lied. but he wasn’t holding a gun to his brothers’ head to make him lie to his wife ━━━━━━ that was all on him. all his idea … the elder drake even going as far as offering to go on his own back after the heist of the rossi estate.
his anger isn’t misplaced. not by a long shot. with creased brows and eyes that held nothing but ( disappointment ? maybe. ) annoyance. as if samuel hadn’t done the same on numerous occasions ; growing up as an older brother but also the role as a father … determined to be what nathan never had. determined to make sure he had a decent life growing up.
they both made sacrifices. he understood that. nathan had a right to be angry , there was no denying that. ❝ are you kidding me ? ❞ he takes a step forward , finger pointed to his own chest , further emphasizing his words. ❝ do you understand everything i gave up for you ? ❞ he knew the argument that would unfold : that he didn’t have to do what he did , that he could have just left him at the orphanage despite everything. he couldn’t bring himself to do that.
❝ ━━━━━━ my whole life was yours , nathan. i did everything i could for you. ❞
do you think it’s that goddamn simple, he thought bitterly, near violently. his lips were chapped with anger, carving out the hollow he’d spent the last 20 years patching up, tending to like the gaping would it was, only for sam, his own goddamn brother to have ripped it up and chewed it through like a fucking dessert.
is this a joke to you is something that comes to mind within the swell of it, remembering the feeling of his brother slipping from his own hands like the skin had merely sloughed off, except it was more than that. it had been more than that for fucking. years. reliving that night, over and over and over again, interrogating every last memory of the prison and wondering how it went wrong, where it went wrong, detailing every way possible that it could have been his fault. 20 goddamn years of losing sleep at night, waking up in a cold sweat and gasping for air, reliving it over. and over. and over again.
and to come back into his goddamn life with a firsthand account of a death sentence that was never even real to begin with...god, do you know how fucking selfish you are right now!?
‘ i’m not talking about then, samuel! ’ two could play the name game, having rarely, if ever used sam’s own name in full, but by god he’d had it, and his voice was only getting louder.
i did everything i could for you.
nathan finally broke.
‘ AND I’M DOING EVERYTHING FOR YOU RIGHT NOW. IN THE PRESENT, SAM. DOES THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU!? I HAVE SPENT THE BETTER PART OF TWENTY YEARS, TWENTY FUCKING YEARS, SAM, EVERY SINGLE DAY, OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN, WATCHING YOU DIE. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT DID TO ME!? WHAT IT STILL FUCKING DOES!? AND NOW YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST SHOW UP━OH, AND NOT ONLY THAT, YOU LIED TO ME. AFTER EVERYTHING WE’VE BEEN THROUGH, YOU LIED TO ME WHEN I RISKED EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, NOT TO WATCH YOU DIE AGAIN, SO DON’T YOU DARE PUT THIS ALL ON ME WHEN YOU OWE ME, YOU OWE ME FOR THE LAST TWENTY FUCKING YEARS OF MY LIFE, AND WHEN I DIE ON THIS GODFORSAKEN ISLAND, YOU CAN BE THE FIRST TO TELL MY WIFE HOW IT WAS ALL. YOUR. FAULT. ’
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