benis

call the qop

[originaldoll99]

why

[mxnrique]

LET HER SPEAK

[mxnrique]

who gon tell him???

[mxnrique]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[valtsv]

me trying to argue why basic human decency and empathy are good things with right wingers in my debating class:

[moon-sappho]

there really is no way to describe that Gay Sadness™ when you hear your family being homo/transphobic

[moon-sappho]

it’s such a fucking wakeup call on how i am in a bubble and my own imaginary world where its okay and normal to be gay, and then reality hits you in the face

[marinaqua]

story time: i taught my little cousin her first longer word when she was very young. i taught her to say “tax benefits”. and to this day my aunt still doesn’t know where she got it from, but it was a hilarious sight to see a little toddler waddling around the house, wearing a big diaper, all the while yelling “TAX BENEFITS!!!!”

[osmanthusoolong]

My parents did this with me and “nuclear disarmament”.

[bradkey]

I taught my little brother to say “micro-surgical vasectomy reversal” (saw it on a billboard) on a road trip, and he didn’t stop saying it for literal years.

[missvoltairine-blog]

My parents taught me to chant “Get your laws off our bodies!” for a pro-choice rally when I was like four and I went to preschool and taught all the other kids the chant and led them on a mini-parade around the playground and the teachers were like ?????????? ?????????? ????????????

[floralgemini-deactivated2016111]

whenever my brother threw a tantrum as a baby my parents would chant “live free or die” until he calmed down it was fuckin weird

[onceiwashere]

when i was a kid whenever we got stuck in traffic my dad would say “what the fuck?!?” in a very comic voice and i would repeat it and then he would say it with a slightly different inflection and i would repeat that too and so forth and so basically my poor mother would be stuck in standstill traffic listening to her husband and 4 yr old daughter swearing at each other without end

[waspabi]

i’m a preschool teacher and we like to joke around using radical vocabulary with the children, the other day i overheard one kid say ‘this is my truck’ and the other one said ‘no, this truck belongs to the collective’; they all say it now

[haledamage]

whenever anyone picks up my daughter or she goes upstairs, she announces “I ASCEND” it’s the best thing

[papegaaimusic]

[itwashotwestayedinthewater]

He Is An Authorised Reseller.

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

I know it’s deep but I laughed so hard

[rebel-in-tartan]

Why have I been laughing at this for a solid 5 minutes?

[a6]

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

The thugs killing uncle Ben after like the fifth Spiderman reboot:

[wormspondibrain]

Cashier: That'll be $4.03

Me: I only have $4...

Cashier: That's ok, I have the three cents

Me:...........

Cashier:........

Me: what are we?

[cowboysuggest]

got spurs surgically attached to my ankles at Claire’s

[rainbowkittenmagic]

REMEMBERING ALL YOUR NEGLECTED RESPONSIBILITIES AT ONCE LIKE

[scaliepost-generator]

Inflation is honestly the strangest shit. Like someone rn is thinking of getting blown up like a balloon and they’ve got a boner.

[targuzzler-deactivated20180224]

i thought this was about economics at first and that second sentence hit me like a freight train

[susandotcom-deactivated20210224]

i installed the owo extnesion. what a terrible decision

[susandotcom-deactivated20210224]

im going to be sick

[transstripes-deactivated2018033]