one of the best sentences I've read on Wikipedia

bliss lane

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Not today Justin

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@wretchedlittlelad
one of the best sentences I've read on Wikipedia
shoutout to the time in 2021 I was having scary seizurelike episodes that sent me to the neurologist, after having barely slept all week due to being a nervous wreck over my symptoms and shit.
when I sat down to describe what I was going through to the (young, very soft spoken) phys assistant taking my notes I started audibly almost crying . The whole time he’s furiously working on a tablet thing that I assumed he was writing my symptoms down on
in the midst of me having a mild nervous breakdown during my monologue he slowly turns the tablet to me after closing whatever program he had open and just fuckin stare-smiles at me all placidly til I notice the wallpaper the laptop is set to— a lovingly decorated collage of Lord Farquaad from Shrek
once I noticed I stopped dead in my tracks and we sat there staring at another for a solid minute til I broke down wheeze laughing, upon which he picked up the tablet and scurried off wordlessly. I just sat there dumbfounded til the doc showed up. 10/10 doctor experience ngl
I didn’t own a phone at the time to get any proof so this my best artistic recreation
so. i do this thing where i wake up still half-asleep, write a note in my phone, and then fall back asleep and forget about it completely until i find the note later.
and i need to show you all some of these because ?????
when you eat a Normal Sandwich (bread meat greens cheese relish) and your body goes ooohhh fuck! oh fuck! what have you done! heartbeat GO! sweating GO! temperature GO! like sorry man I'm just trying to keep you WORKING!!!!!!!! ASS HOLE!
it’s normal for sandwich to make you feel like you’re dying. this is a normal sandwich experience
did I just get armchair diagnosed as Bad At Sandwich
the situation with harry potter is kind of unprecedented in some ways imo because it is maybe the largest media franchise in history to be created & owned by a single person who still has direct creative control over it. who is also a billionaire with significant cultural/political influence. like the usual "no ethical consumption under capitalism" type excuses shatter on impact when the bigoted author in question is logging onto twitter every day saying explicitly that when you buy the tim hortons ravenclaw donut she is using your donut money to fund the genocide of trans people. like with big franchises usually there's at least a little more diffusion of responsibility than this
you say you’re not scared and yet you refuse to enter my rendering distance
we are the daughters of the landmines your grandpa didn't step on
(trying to vent but has too big of a following to get into any genuinely vulnerable specifics) there is a sadness that overtakes me at times
"bosch" doesn't sound like the name of a guy who'd make paintings like that. but when you add "hieronymus" to the mix it starts to make sense
ill do a whole lot more than just bite the bullet ill fuck the gun too
all the rights that come with marriage you should be able to have without marriage btw. you should be able to designate a person who can visit you in the hospital regardless of your relationship to that person.
as a child i assumed that martha’s vineyard was a fancy private vineyard owned by martha stewart and the reason rich people vacationed there was because they were friends with martha